Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

april (harry)

Something was vibrating underneath Harry’s ass and it woke him up, jarringly, making him wince at the sunlight seeping in through the curtains. Harry groaned sleepily, rolling over to his side, and onto Louis’ body. Louis was lying on his stomach, curled up like a baby hedgehog, and snoring softly with his legs and arms splayed out. Harry decided to ignore the vibrating and let himself fall back asleep, but once it had stopped, it started right back up again.

Harry groaned again, a bit loudly, hoping that whoever was trying to contact him would somehow hear him and just stop trying. He was so fucking tired. It literally felt like every muscle in his body was completely numbed out and sore or something. It hurt to simply turn in bed, let alone try to move around and pull his phone out from wherever it was buried. No, Harry was not going to do that. He was too fucking tired. Surely, the people trying to reach him this early would understand that he’d been busy and needed a lie-in.

Louis and he had had a big night, what with the whole confessing their love and the getting back together and the stumbling into the bedroom to make up for two-and-a-half months worth of missing each other. Harry had literally lost count of what they were doing, how many times they did it, and how long it went on. It was fucking insane and he’d never felt so passionately about someone else in his life. In between the confessions and the solidifying of their relationship, something else that made it that much more real was that they did it without a condom.

It wasn’t planned. Neither of them had even realized it until they were about to do it and had forgotten in the heat of the moment. However, despite having realized it, neither did anything stop it because they knew they were safe and clean. That alone felt huge for Harry. It felt more real, more permanent, more like a promise. They’d talked about it sometime during their night and had decided that it was okay and all that mattered was that they were together.

The vibrating stopped after the third buzz, but then started going off again and this time, Harry sat up, letting the duvet fall off his body, and reached around the bed for his phone, grabbing it when he found it near his upper thigh. When he looked at the screen, he swore under his breath with a shake of his head. It was all the boys in a fucking group chat, spamming him with texts.

Niall: What’s happening?? Did you do it?

Liam: Quit leaving us in suspense harry

Zayn: Louis isn’t responding either, aha. Bet they’re fucking. :)

Niall: GET INNNNNN

Liam: This is quite exciting i hope its good news for the two of them

Niall: yes pLZ get your SHIT TOGETHER we r all very tired !

Zayn: Do you guys wanna go do lunch? I’m bored. And Pez went to work.

Niall: Sure i think i wanna go get chinese

Liam: me too

The conversation after that was them discussing which Chinese food place they wanted to go to and what they wanted to order because Liam couldn’t decide on noodles or rice and Zayn wanted some place that was Halal. Harry put the phone down after shutting it off and lay back down in bed, pulling the duvet up to his chest again. Louis was still asleep, his pupils moving behind his eyelids and Harry wondered what he was dreaming about and whether or not it was a good dream. He smiled fondly at his boy in front of him, stroking his back and scratching at his skin softly until he felt Louis stirring beside him.

“Harry,” he murmured sleepily.

“G’morning,” Harry smiled softly. Louis peered up at him through sleepy lashes and smiled, scooting over until they were pressed together. Harry giggled, placing kisses on Louis’ shoulder and cuddling into him while their legs entangled underneath the blanket.

Louis preened at the contact, closing his eyes again with a blissful smile. “I’m so tired.”

“Me too, babe. Feel sore all over.”

“Maybe we went a little too hard,” Louis said.

“Maybe,” Harry replied, letting his voice trail off before turning over and locking Louis under him with both of his hands on either side of the pillow while hovering over him. “Could go again, though.” Giggles exploded from Louis’ mouth as he looked up at Harry. And he looked absolutely breathtaking. His features were soft and sleepy and bright. He looked amazing and Harry couldn’t help but lean down to pepper his face with kisses, loving the way Louis was laughing under him.

“Of course -- the best way to get rid of this pain is to do it again.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry replied, trying not to sound as desperate and needy as he was. “I just can’t help it. You look amazing right now. So fucking hot. And I can’t be held accountable for my actions when you’re looking like this.”

Louis burst out in giggles again, while Harry kissed him some more; on his soft cheeks, strong jaw, adorable nose, little chin, and golden neck, wherever he could reach. When Harry’s lips trailed up to Louis' lips, tongue dipping into his mouth without hesitation and running in perfect sync with Louis’, Louis stopped giggling. He kissed Harry back, languid and slow and deep. His hands came up to hold on to Harry, stroking his arms and his torso with his fingertips.

“Do you want to?" Harry whispered into the kiss when they drew back for a moment. Louis nodded slowly, eyes glazed and darkened as Harry lowered his body onto his. Louis’ arms wrapped around Harry’s back as he gripped his bare muscles, not wanting to let go even for a second. Screw the fact that neither was capable of literally making it out of bed. Harry wanted Louis all the time and he finally got him --  for real -- and he wasn’t going to stop. Not when it felt this good and real.

While their lips pulled, sucked, and bit into each other, Harry slowly disentangled Louis’ hands from him before lacing their fingers together and pressing them into the pillows on either side of Louis’ head. “You don’t have anywhere to be right?” Harry asked, breathing heavily while mouthing along Louis’ jaw.

“Even if I did, I don’t think I’d care,” Louis replied, causing the two boys to giggle into each other's mouths.

Harry rocked his hips into Louis, making the other boy stop laughing and arch off the bed, with his eyes fluttering close. “Maybe after this, we could have breakfast,” Harry suggested while his lips kissed down Louis’ neck again, making him whimper softly when Harry started to nibble with his teeth a little.

“Are you just going to keep teasing me like this then?” Louis moaned out eventually, his voice raspy and high. “I woke up with morning wood. I’m not going to last much longer.”

“You don’t like it?” Harry smirked.

“Harry,” Louis whined, feeling breathless with the way Harry was grinding into him. That only made Harry feel smugger, so he pressed down a little harder and Louis grunted in response, chests pressing together.

“Tell me how much you want me.” Harry’s fingers slowly made their way down Louis’ torso, tracing over his chest tattoo, and lining up the letters.

“So much,” Louis responded, freeing his hands to run his fingers through Harry’s hair. Lips met with Louis’ chest as Harry ran his tongue there, trailing it down his body.

"Want you more, baby," he breathed out, voice husky and deep while tracing circles with his tongue. Louis bucked his hips up desperately only to feel how much Harry wanted him; his long hard cock was throbbing against Louis’ thigh. Louis reached down between them and his fingertips brushed Harry’s cock, rubbing over the head and slit softly and teasingly. Harry let out a guttural moan and Louis smirked in satisfaction watching Louis' eyelids flutter while Harry ran his hand along his dick. This was definitely payback.

Harry moaned Louis’ name, low and quiet, before continuing to move down and keep going, planting kisses as he went. At first, Harry kissed right above where Louis’ happy trail started before moving down and mouthing along toward his dick. He gave it a quick taste, tongue darting out to lick the precome that had dribbled out, before moving well past it and mouthing on his balls. Louis let out a choked-out moan.

"Harry, please" he begged, voice already wrecked. “Fuck. Please.”

"You want more?" Harry asked, repeating the action.

Louis nodded slowly, not able to form words anymore. Harry lifted Louis' hips up before Louis could properly realize what he was about to do and spread Louis’ cheeks apart, letting his tongue slide along his hole. A moan escaped Louis’ mouth, his head falling back on his pillow, as Harry pressed his lips even harder onto him, sucking over his hole. Harry wrapped one of his arms around Louis’ leg while placing his other hand on Louis’ hips to make him stop squirming as much. Louis was all but thrashing underneath him, bucking his hips up and pushing into Harry’s mouth. It encouraged Harry to keep going, sucking even harder, before pushing in a finger inside Louis.  

Louis threw his head back, hands gripping Harry’s brown curls. "Fuck, Harry," he practically screamed out, his breathing becoming uneven and his chest rising up and down. Harry pushed his finger in deeper, making Louis squirm even more. Since they’d already done this all last night, Louis was already opened up, so he didn’t quite need to be prepped. Nonetheless, that didn’t mean Harry didn’t like eating Louis out and watching Louis fuck himself on Harry’s fingers. Harry continued to lick the seam between his cheeks and circled the hole, occasionally letting it slip past the rim with his finger.

"Fuck, babe, I want you. I'm gonna -- fuck," Louis breathed out through heavy pants.

Harry removed his tongue from Louis because he didn’t want him to come just yet and let his leg down. He moved up Louis’ body, kissing his neck when he reached him.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good," he said, his voice wrecked while lining his hips up with Louis’.

“You always do.”

Harry smiled at him fondly and nosed against Louis’ cheek. "You okay? You good?"

Louis nodded in response, already ready for Harry to fill him up and take him. Harry helped Louis lift his hips and slowly pressed himself into him, a grunt escaping his lips at the contact. The two of them were shaking and to calm them down, Harry dipped down to suck on the skin of Louis’ neck while rocking into his boyfriend, slowly filling him up entirely. Louis’ hands gripped Harry’s back as his body pressed flush against his.

Soft moans escaped Louis’ rips as he tried to meet Harry’s thrusts. It was slow and it was good and Harry hoped that every morning of theirs started like this.

"A little faster," Louis begged after several slow, lazy thrusts. Harry smirked down at him, taking note of Louis’ flushed skin and blown-out pupils. He was so close and Harry knew so without a second thought, he increased his speed, pressing harder.

"Feel so good, Lou," he moaned out, hands cupping Louis’ ass cheeks as he mouthed at his neck. He could feel Louis’ legs start to tremble, the more he rocked into him, which meant he was close. "Almost there, baby."

Harry wrapped one arm around Louis as he picked him up, pulling him onto his lap. Fuck the pain that was shooting up every inch of his body. They were stuck in a euphoric state of mind and felt fucking insatiable. His hands guided Louis’ hips and Louis rocked into him, placing his own hands on Harry’s shoulders to steady himself. Harry threw his head back, sweat drops trailing down to his chest as they picked up the pace and got increasingly closer to coming. He thrust his hips upwards, adding more pressure, making the older boy bounce down on his lap.

Harry stilled his thrusts, his moans getting shallower as he felt himself start to come inside Louis. Louis continued to ride him, moving down once, twice, three times until he came between their bodies, hot, white streams spraying all over them.

“Shit,” Harry said, chuckling, tracing over the come between them. They definitely needed to shower and change the sheets.

Louis smiled at him, giving him a kiss and wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck. “Could go for round two, but I need to take a break.”

“Okay, baby,” Harry cooed, helping him get off. “I’ll clean you up and we could nap some more.”

Louis nodded happily and Harry slipped out of bed, cringing and wincing in pain as he walked towards the bathroom to clean himself up and grab something to clean Louis up with as well. When he got back, Louis was sat up on the bed with an odd expression on his face. “Lou,” Harry said quietly. “You okay?”

When he didn’t respond right away, Harry eyed him warily, making his way back to the bed and sitting down next to Louis, slowly wiping come off him. It was an odd change of tone to what Harry had left two minutes ago, and Louis was still seemingly dazed by the time Harry was done. Harry quietly placed the wet cloth on the bedside table and turned to Louis, about to ask him what was wrong when Louis turned to him.

“We have to talk,” he said, voice calm and a note too serious.

Dread filled Harry’s stomach instantly and all the worst possible scenarios popped into his mind when he thought about what it could be. They’d just had sex. They’d just had sex for probably the seventh time since last night and they reconciled after months of back and forth and said I love you to each other. What could Louis possibly want to say after that other than let’s take another nap and go again? Was he going to change his mind? Did he snap out of whatever bubble they’d formed between themselves within last night and now and realize that Harry didn’t deserve him after all?

Because God knew that Harry didn't. Harry was perfectly well aware that he had fucked up again and again. Even if Louis did say he loved Harry back and they’d gotten together, he knew he was going to live with his guilt for the rest of his life. He was always going to regret how he had handled everything that had happened between them because it was stupid and selfish and horrible. And he knew coming over to see Louis last night that he had no fucking right to even do that. He couldn’t just ask Louis to take him back, could he? Not after everything he put Louis through. But something inside him kept him going because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t. If he didn’t tell Louis how he truly felt or how much Louis meant to him, which was probably something he should have been doing for years. And, yeah, Harry knew he fucked up, but he was willing to do one right thing even if he had been doing all the wrong things before.

Growing up, everyone was taught that you made mistakes and they were always something that you’d learn from to make sure you didn’t do them anymore. There wasn’t a person in this world who didn’t fuck it up at least once in their life, but did that mean that they didn’t deserve happiness or that they didn’t deserve to be with the love of their life? The philosopher Immanuel Kant said that the consequences didn’t matter as much as the intentions did. A person could accidentally or mistakenly do something and fuck up, like Harry had done, but that didn’t mean they were a horrible and morally unethical person because the intentions were never to be bad.

Harry’s intentions were never to hurt Louis because he loved him with every inch of his body and mind and soul. He knew Louis was going to be someone special to him as soon as he walked into his life and no one knew more than Harry how much he wanted Louis to know that; how much he wished he never gave him a reason to doubt that. However, with the way Louis was looking at him then, Harry wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to do that if Louis were to turn him away now.

Nonetheless, Harry nodded at Louis, encouraging him to talk about whatever it was that he needed to, even if his heart was already dropping to his stomach. Louis sat up a little more, pulling the duvet closer around him.

“I just -- I sort of got to thinking and we have to talk about us, Harry,” Louis said, watching Harry bob his head up and down nervously. “We -- we can’t mess up. Not again.”

“We won’t,” Harry replied quickly. “This is real for me, Lou. I want you to know that. You need to know that.”

“I know,” Louis said softly, his hands reaching out for Harry’s, which he only then realized were shaking. “But it can’t be like before. We have to communicate more -- fuck, we have to be honest all the time. Like, you broke my heart, Harry. So many times and I’m not going to just forget that. We can’t keep things from each other or play games.”

Harry was sure he was close to tears -- or pathetically already tearing up, but not realizing it yet -- and that dread that was in his stomach was intensifying. “Lou, I know -- I know I fucked up. I know. Believe me, I do. I just -- I don’t know, like --.”

“Harry, take a deep breath, babe, it’s okay. You’re freaking out on me.”

Louis started to rub his back soothingly, scooting closer and Harry only then noticed that his breathing had become shallow. He was on the verge of a panic attack and this had never happened to him before. Louis continued to comfort him, though, holding him tight and Harry soon felt himself calm down, bit by bit.

He finally braved a look over to Louis when he felt ready. “Breaking your heart was never something I intended to do, Lou. I love you so much and I’m so unbelievably sorry that I put you through everything I did. I can’t take it back -- though, I wish I could. I wish I could turn around and go back in time and make it alright. You have no idea how much I wish I could have realized everything soon enough, but I didn’t. I didn’t and no one will regret that as much as I do. These past two months have been absolute hell. I didn’t know if I could make it.”

“Harry, don’t say that,” Louis said, sitting up on his knees and cupping Harry’s face in his hands. “I’m here, okay? And I love you, too.”

“I love you,” Harry repeated desperately. “I love you. And I know that’s not enough right now, but give me a little time. I’ll prove it to you. One more chance, Lou.”

Louis looked at him for a long time, searching Harry’s face like it held all the answers he needed. When he eventually nodded, a definite weight lifted off of not only Harry’s shoulders but his heart, too.

“Just be honest with me,” Louis said. “That’s all I need, babe.”

“I will,” Harry said. “I promise.”

may (harry)

Sunday nights were dinner nights reserved for the Horan/Palvin household.

They all took time out of their schedule to meet up on that night every week to catch up around the dinner table and get together for laughs over drinks. It had started to become a thing starting sometime last month and it was hands down one of Harry’s favorite things to do. It was easy to get busy and not constantly keep up with all your friends. The city was always moving with no intention of anybody stopping, so this made it easier for them; to have steady contact with each other no matter how occupied everyone was with their own lives. Also, Niall and Barbara were without a doubt the mom and dad of the group. They loved having everyone over and taking care of them.

The windows and balcony doors were wide open and it was a warm May night, but there was a nice breeze coming in. Currently, the boys were all squished onto one sofa in the living room watching an old episode of Friends. Liam was all the way at one end with Niall beside him, followed by Zayn, then Louis, and lastly Harry, who had his arm snug around Louis, letting the older boy rest his head against his shoulder. There was plenty of room, an entire sofa right there, but they were fine on this one. Comfortable, really. And the girls were in the kitchen, mixing margaritas and gossiping about whatever it was that girls gossiped about. Harry would probably go over soon and ask them to fill him in on the hot goss, but for now, he was okay. Meanwhile, on TV, Danny DeVito was playing a stripper at Phoebe’s bachelorette party.

Casual.

“Honestly,” Zayn said after a while. “I can’t decide if this is my favorite episode or the one where no one’s ready for Ross’ benefit thing at the museum.”

“That is a classic,” Louis agreed. “I don’t know. I think my favorite episode was the one with Ross’ teeth. The one where he made them super white.”

“No,” Harry piped up. “What about the one where Ross gets a tan? Easily the funniest.”

Niall cackled, throwing his head back as he remembered the one Harry was talking about. “I think my favorite is probably the one where Ross is yelling pivot on the staircase when he got the new sofa.”

“Another classic,” Liam said. “My favorite is when Rachel goes to give birth, but it takes forever and they’re at the hospital and Janis comes back.”

The boys nodded, snickering at the memory of that one. The show continued to progress, the boys too immersed in the jokes and the laughs to notice the girls walk back in. They all sat down around them and Barbara looked over at Niall, giving him a look and he quickly stood up to follow her. The two of them walked over to the loveseat that was in the center of the room and beamed at everyone proudly.

“What’s up?” Louis asked as Perrie turned the volume down and everyone focused their attention on the couple in front of them.

“We’ve got news,” Barbara said with a big, bright smile. “Good news.”

It could have been a few things. Job promotion, them finally deciding to tie the knot, maybe getting a puppy like Niall had been begging Barbara to do. However, a deep, baby-loving part of Harry, hoped it had something to do with a little person coming into all of their lives. He’d always teased Niall and Barbara about it saying it was time and they should have ten of them, but as of late, they hadn’t been laughing along with his jokes. Something seemed different -- like they were agreeing with him.

“Guys,” Niall began to say, clearing his throat while everyone looked at him quietly. “Barbara and I have been thinking of taking our relationship to the next level for a while as you all probably knew. And while at first, that was just going to be me proposing, something else ended up happening.”

“Oh my God,” Harry said out loud before he could stop himself despite everyone around him being silent.

Louis snickered beside Harry, patting his thigh and keeping his hand there.

“We’re having a baby,” Barbara said throwing her hands up in the air.

“I knew it,” Harry screamed, jumping up onto his feet while everyone else grinned and congratulated the couple. “Fuck, oh my God. Congratulations!” He ran over to Barbara and Niall, hugging them both before pulling away and watching his friends look at him with amused expressions.

“Had a feeling you’d be the one to be most excited, you sap,” Niall said teasingly, ruffling Harry’s curly hair while Harry smiled sheepishly over at Louis, who was watching him with the fondest expression. “But yeah, B’s about a few weeks in and we saw the doctor this past week. Got a sonogram picture and everything. Who wants to see the little nugget?”

It was no surprise when Harry’s hand shot up quicker than anybody else’s. 

june (harry)

“Harry, bro, dude, you missed it last night,” Niall said, eyes wide and ecstatic. “The 1975 were so good. Even Zayn was enjoying it and it’s not even the kind of music he listens to.”

“I did enjoy it,” Zayn confirmed with a nod. “The vibe was sick and so was their sound. So rad.”

Harry shrugged, trying not to let himself feel any worse than he already did for not going to the concert last night. It was just a no-brainer. Niall had asked Harry yesterday whether he’d be down or not because Niall had managed to snag tickets through his job, but Louis was really tired and didn’t want to go, so Harry, naturally, opted out as well. Louis had told him over and over again that he really didn’t need to do that because he knew Harry loved The 1975, but Harry wasn’t going to go without him. The idea of it alone seemed so ridiculous that Harry didn’t give it much thought after. And he didn’t regret not going last night because he and Louis had a great time staying in. Now, though, with Niall reminding him and taunting him, Harry felt a little bad.

“I couldn’t come,” Harry said finally. “Louis wasn’t feeling up to it.”

“Yeah, but you were fine,” Niall reminded him before pointing to Liam. “Ask Liam how good it was.”

Liam, who had been lying down on the couch in front of them playing some video game, looked up. “Hmm?”

“Tell Harry how he’s a moron for missing the show last night,” Niall told him.

Liam hummed. “It was a good show.”

“See! I got them specifically with you in mind and you bailed,” Niall said, throwing his hands up. “And Matty was hanging around backstage and he talked to us. Fuck, Harry, you would have shat yourself.”

“Well, whatever, Ni,” Harry shrugged, not wanting to pout even though he was close to it. “I didn’t go. I had fun, too. I cooked Louis his favorite dish and we marathoned Shameless. And I rode him on the couch.”

Niall still looked so incredibly confused, like he wasn’t quite getting it. “You can do that literally any time, H.”

“I’m aware,” he said. “What’s your point? My boyfriend couldn’t go. I wasn’t going to leave him alone for the night and go have fun somewhere else while he was home all tired.”

Niall looked at him for a moment before bursting out laughing, while the other boys simply smiled at him knowingly. Harry was really confused as to what was funny or what was going through their heads and he wished Louis was beside him then to tell him because he always knew what these shitheads were up to. But Louis had excused himself to the kitchen to talk to Barbara about some pregnancy tips that Louis picked up on while growing up with his mom, who was a nurse, so Harry was alone with these idiots.

“What’s funny?” he asked finally.

“Something,” Zayn replied, teasingly. “Don’t worry about it, H.”

“That’s not fair,” Harry said, frustrated. “What is it?”

“It’s okay, Haz,” Niall replied, having calmed down a bit. “You won’t get it.”

Harry let it go, not wanting to argue any further, but also because Louis was back and he wanted to snuggle.

A few nights later, Harry got his answer. It had been a seemingly similar situation. All the boys, minus Louis were sitting out on Niall’s balcony because the breeze was great and even though it was eight at night, the sun was still up and the sky had a light tint of orange in it.  Louis had just gone down to the shops to grab something for Barbara since she was cooking them all dinner and was missing an ingredient, so Harry kept texting him several different emojis because he was missing him already. Niall looked over from where he was sitting.

“Who are you texting, H? All your friends are right here,” he said, laughing.

“Louis,” Harry replied. “I miss him.”

The boys shared a look and then turned to Harry. “Have you and Louis been okay lately?” Liam asked, eyeing him tentatively.

Harry nodded happily. “Yeah, we’re great.”

Niall looked at Harry a bit sad after that, his expression changing from how teasing it was before. “I was talking to him the other day and it didn’t sound good.”

Harry blanched, wondering what Niall was on about because he and Louis were great. Better than great. They spent a lot of time together and never fought and Harry took him out every other night. And then on the nights he wasn’t taking Louis out, he was cooking all of Louis’ favorite dishes for him and pampering him in every way possible. He even brought him his favorite flowers to work every week along with his favorite pack of M&M’s to snack on while he did the radio. Everything was perfect in Harry’s mind, but maybe there was something he wasn’t doing that Louis wasn’t telling him about. Louis did say they should communicate more, but was Harry making it so unbearable for Louis that he couldn’t even say it to him?

“What did he say?” Harry breathed out, looking at the three of them.  

“Not much, but enough,” Niall shrugged, looking over at Zayn and turning red in the face. “What did he say again Zayn?”

“He told us he wanted to -- to, like, take a break, I think. Not break up permanently, but you know…,” Zayn trailed off, tapping his cigarette on the railing and looking away from him.

It was like all Harry’s walls were suddenly closing in on him. His ears started to ring from how hard his heart was beating. Everything that he was doing for Louis -- to prove himself that he was going to make it work -- was it not enough? They talked about doing better this time the morning after they got together and Harry had promised that he was going to do everything in his power to make it worthwhile for Louis. To show him that Louis meant the world and more to Harry. He thought he’d been giving his all, but maybe he could do more. Maybe Louis needed more.

Or maybe Louis simply stopped loving him and Harry had been too late. May these past two months Louis had just been with him because he didn’t know how to reject Harry once and for all. Maybe he was only being nice. Maybe Harry was too fucking late. Maybe he fucked up beyond repair.

That thought alone started bringing tears to his eyes and he knew his nose was turning red and his cheeks were probably stained pink, but he didn’t care. His heart was literally shattering inside and there was nothing he could do. He tried so much and it still wasn’t good enough, so much so, that it ripped a choked-up sob out of him. That was when the boys around him turned to him and all rushed to his side when they realized he was crying.

“Holy shit, Harry, are you crying?” Zayn asked, bending down in front of him. Liam was next to him rubbing soothing circles on his back, trying to not look as alarmed as he was while Niall looked outright terrified.

“Harry, why are you crying? Is it because of what we just said?” he asked.

“Lou--Lou said he’d break up with me?” Harry asked them, ignoring all their questions.

“Fuck,” Zayn groaned, standing up and smacking Niall on the back of his head. “You see what you did.”

“You were in on it, too,” Niall replied, running a hand through his hair.

Liam was still trying to comfort Harry, but Harry only started to cry harder because no one was denying the story, which meant Louis really did want to break up. Harry knew ever since he and Louis had gotten together officially he was constantly worried about fucking things up and losing Louis because Harry only had one chance, no room for any more mistakes because he fucked it up enough times before, but he didn’t realize he was this strung out about it. Didn’t realize that all it would take was for them to confirm it to him one time and he’d break so easily.

Despite the boys trying to calm him down, none of them were really able to say anything. They were all just looking at him with horrified expressions and Harry just kept crying because when was Louis going to break up with him? When did Harry have to start preparing for that? Did he have any room to have Louis consider -- to rethink it? Harry needed another chance if that was the case because he really was trying so hard. He gave Louis everything he could. He went out of his way to make sure Louis was always smiling and that he was always taken care of. Surely Louis would understand and tell him where he messed up.

And then Louis’ voice could be heard, walking through the front door. They all waited with bated breaths as he walked to the kitchen to give Barbara what she needed for dinner and then walked back over to the balcony. Harry couldn’t even bear to meet Louis’, but he could hear the gasp that came out of his mouth.

“What happened?” he asked, rushing over to Harry’s side, and pushing the other boys away. “What happened? Why are you crying, Harry?” When Harry didn’t respond, only letting another teardrop roll down his cheeks, Louis turned to the other boys. “What happened?”

They all stammered for a bit, not sure about what to say and talking over each other when Harry whispered to Louis, “They told me about you.”

Louis immediately turned to look back at Harry and all the boys quieted down. “What did they tell you about me?” Louis asked, his voice laced with confusion.

“You don’t have to hide it, Lou. They told me you’re going to break up with me,” Harry said, his voice cracking at the end of that sentence finally meeting Louis’ eyes, only to notice how confused they were.

“What? Break up with you? Why would I do that?”

“Technically, I said you wanted a break from the relationship, not that you wanted to break up forever,” Zayn said, clarifying like it made any difference.

“What the fuck?” Louis cried, angry and confused. “What the fuck did you say to him, you dickwads?”

Just then, Niall let out a really loud sigh, causing all of them to turn to him. “We were joking, okay?” Niall said, sounding guilty and ashamed. “The boys and I are always making fun of Harry because he is so whipped on you, Lou. And we thought it’d be funny to joke with him and say that you were gonna break up with him. We really didn’t mean it, H. Louis didn’t say anything to us. We’re so sorry. We didn’t know what to say when you started to cry because that wasn’t the reaction we were expecting.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Louis snapped before any of the others could apologize or say anything, standing up and shoving at Niall, but not that hard. “Look at what you did.”

As Louis continued to yell at Niall and the other boys, Harry was still stuck on the fact that Louis wasn’t going to break up with him, that they were still okay and he was still making it work. Now, he’d just have to try even harder to never give Louis a moment to doubt it. Maybe he could get him flowers every day instead of once a week. Maybe give him that massage he’d been promising him, but hadn’t gotten around to it because of work. He just knew he had to try harder. He couldn’t lose Louis otherwise he didn’t know what he’d do.

When Louis sat down beside him again, Harry blinked only to realize that they were now alone on the balcony. The boys must have left to go inside. Louis looked at Harry tentatively, wiping the last of his tears away while pressing soft kisses where they were. “Are you alright?” he asked Harry.

Harry shrugged in response. He’d been better. Louis looked out at the city in front of them over the balcony and let the silence hang over them for a moment before speaking up again. “Harry, we need to talk and before you freak out and think the worst -- no, this isn’t a breakup talk.”

“Uh -- okay,” Harry stammered.

“You know that this wasn’t the reaction the boys were expecting,” he said. “They thought you’d either not believe them or at least question it. And you didn’t, H. You immediately took their word for it, but I don’t understand why. I told you I love you -- that you’re it for me -- so why would you think I’d break up with you? Do you not believe me?”

“Of course I do,” Harry said quickly and desperately.

“Then?”

Harry wrinkled his nose and sniffled a little, the sensation of his tears burning his nose. “I don’t know. I just -- I want you to never regret being with me, Lou. I promised you I’d prove myself to you and I want to keep that promise. I made mistakes and I’m trying to make up for them as best as I can and I’m scared it might not ever be enough.”

His voice shook a little in the end and he realized he was crying again. Louis looked at him so sadly and Harry wondered when this night took this turn. Everything was going so smoothly for them that this was jarring almost. Louis wiped his tears again, hugging him as tight as he could.

“I know you do, Harry. You don’t think I’ve noticed how you’ve been going out of your way to do things for me. Sometimes, even when I tell you it’s not necessary. Like that day we went shopping and I was looking at that shirt in H&M. You went and bought that for me and you didn’t even ask if I really liked it or not.”

“You were looking at it for quite some time, Lou,” Harry said matter of factly. “And I know your size so.”

“Baby,” Louis cooed, pulling Harry onto his lap. Harry went easily, tucking his head in the crook of Louis’ neck and breathing in his familiar smell. “I need you to promise me something else tonight, okay?”

Harry nodded, playing with the buttons on Louis’ shirt.

“I need you to promise me that you’re going to stop overcompensating for mistakes you made months ago that I’ve long forgiven you for. You’re an amazing boyfriend and I know that, but I need you to stop being so scared and on edge and just be with me. Can you do that?”

“If that’s what you want,” Harry said softly. “Still wanna do nice things for you.”

“You can,” Louis said with a laugh. “Won’t object to that, but please don’t beat yourself up about it anymore. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah, okay,” Harry breathed out before pressing his lips against Louis’ in a sweet kiss. When they pulled away and Harry felt himself returning to his normal state, he got up off of Louis’ lap. “Let’s go inside. I’m going to go beat those guys up.”

Louis followed him cheerily. “That’s m’boy,” he said proudly.

july (harry)

They say that on the wedding day, all eyes were on the bride. And while Louis’ mom looked as beautiful as ever, happily standing next to and newly wedded to Dan, Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off of someone else.

Louis stood a few feet away, talking to his little twin sisters and making them giggle, and Harry’s eyes kept flickering over to him. He couldn’t stop looking at the older boy throughout the entire ceremony or manage to get rid of this longing feeling in his gut to just hold him in his arms for as long as eternity allowed him to. It wasn’t just that Louis looked beautiful, which he did stunningly so in his navy blue suit that brought out the color in his eyes, nor was it that Harry was being possessive and was keeping an eye on him so no guy would get the wrong idea.

It was that something clicked for Harry today. The day was big on its own, what with Louis’ mom getting remarried and all, but something else felt different within Harry as well.

It had started out seemingly normal, though. Harry and Louis slept in since they’d come in late the night before from the city after work and then had brunch with the whole family. After brunch, the men and the women went their separate ways to get ready for the wedding in their own designated areas at the church. It wasn’t until the ceremony had started and Harry had heard Louis’ mom’s speech for Dan that he figured it out.

Jay started off speaking about her prior husband, Mark and vaguely mentioned Louis’ biological dad. She said that they were both great men and with them, she had five beautiful children, who she loved and cherished every day of her life. They were once her best friends and she had genuinely loved them at one point in her life, but it just wasn’t meant to be because fate had other plans for her. Jay continued on to talk about meeting Dan after having given up hope for a while. She told them how it changed everything for her and while she didn’t think it was quite possible, she had fallen in love again, realizing that this was where she was meant to be all along -- with Dan.

At times first loves could seem like the only love you could have. They were different and not easily forgotten by most people. Some ended up being with their first love forever, but not all. It started to seem a little juvenile and jaded after a while. This was why many people fell in love many times throughout their life. Harry used to think that he’d be with his first love forever, but that was until he met someone else and nothing was the same anymore.

Not only did Harry’s love change, but who he was as well. For so long he felt like he was stuck at a dead end in his life, but being with Louis, he felt like he was growing up and evolving every single day. Nothing ever felt juvenile or jaded; every day seemed new and exciting, a little more passionate than the day before. That was how you knew when you had found the one; when they allowed you to be yourself and you weren’t feeling trapped all the time.

Louis turned to look at Harry from where he stood, giving him a smile, before turning back around. Not being able to hold himself back any longer, Harry turned to Jay and a few of her friends that he was sitting with. “Excuse me,” he said with a polite smile, taking a step back and walking over to Louis.

He didn’t notice Harry at first, not until Harry wrapped an arm around Louis’ waist. Louis turned to face Harry and smiled. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Harry smiled back. “Come dance with me.”

“No one is really dancing…,” he trailed off, looking out at the empty dance floor. While Louis was right because more than half the guests were tired and drinking rather than dancing as they had been earlier, Harry didn’t really care.

“Please,” he said, kissing the spot next to Louis’ ear.

“Won’t we look stupid?”

“I don’t think so,” Harry shrugged. Before Louis could protest again, Harry slowly started to lead him away from the giggling twins, and onto the dance floor. The DJ then started to play "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, and oh, wow, Harry thought. How fitting. Louis stood in front of him and tentatively put his hands on Harry’s shoulder, looking around to see if anyone was staring at them.

Harry laughed, breathily, and pulled Louis’ body flush against his while saying to the music. “Today was fun,” Harry said to him.

“Yeah,” Louis grinned, focusing more on his boy than on who was looking at them. “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me and my family.”

“Of course, Lou,” Harry said, feeling like his heart could burst from love. “Of course, I’d come. I love weddings and I love you.”

Louis’ cheeks were flushed and he shook his head, turning away and hiding his face from Harry shyly. “Wanna know what I was thinking?” he asked.

“Always.”

“I think that instead of going back to the city tomorrow, you should stay back with me for a few days. Only if you want, though, because I know you might be busy because of work and all, but it’d be nice to have you here.”

An immense amount of fondness spread through Harry for Louis. He wasn’t used to this -- having a choice in where he spent his time without having to lie or feeling pressured. With Peter, things had always been rocky and he was always so hard to please, especially towards the end. Louis, on the other hand, always pushed Harry to go out with his other friends, see his family, and do his thing because he knew how important all that was to him. Louis also never suspected Harry with anyone either -- and why would he? If they were sure of anything, it was how much they loved each other.

“If you can’t, it’s fine,” Louis continued to say and turned to look at him, assuming the worst from Harry’s stunned silence.

Harry smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. “Yeah, alright.”

“You’ll stay?” Louis asked, a happy smile on his face. Harry nodded, pulling him closer by the waist. “Good,” Louis smiled, looking around to see a few eyes their way. “So, why are we doing this?”

“I wanted to dance with you, that’s why,” Harry replied casually. “And I wanted to tell you something.”

“What’s that?” Louis asked.

“I realized something today,” Harry started, already feeling a bit choked up from the enormity of what he was about to say. “When your mom was saying her speech, she said some things that kind of struck me.”

“It was a lovely speech,” Louis agreed, but still not quite catching Harry’s drift.

“Yeah. I don’t know -- I just kind of realized everything she said about the way she feels for Dan is the way I feel about you. I feel like you’re the one, Lou.”

Louis looked at a loss for words, but not in a bad way. It was more stunned and surprised, eyes wide and searching.

Harry squeezed Louis’ waist, prodding at him through his shirt fabric. “I mean it. I can actually, like, see that for us. A wedding and you wearing a lovely suit like this, the two of us walking down the aisle. I love you so much. I don’t think I ever want that to change and I’ll do everything in my power to keep it that way. My mom married my dad and she thought that was it. Your mom married Mark and thought he was the one, too. I can relate to both of them, Lou. It’s just a part of life and a part of growing up. And then you meet other people and they change everything for you. You realize that there’s something else entirely different planned for you.”

“Harry,” Louis cooed, leaning up to kiss him on the lips. One of Harry’s hands moved up and settled on the back of Louis’ neck, deepening the kiss and swiping his tongue along Louis’ bottom lip. Louis pulled away before it could get heated, considering most of his family was there, but still looked at Harry in a way Harry knew he’d never get used to. “I love you, too.”

“Do you want that?” Harry asked carefully. “Not now--but maybe someday? With me?”

“There’s no one else I’d want that with,” he replied. Harry smiled and started to blush a little, feeling warmth spread his cheeks out of happiness, and hugged the boy in front of him. He hid his face in the crook of Louis’ neck and nosed against his skin, tickling him. Louis giggled and kissed the side of his head, continuing to sway their bodies to the music.

august (harry)

Harry was perusing the aisles of Whole Foods, trying to get everything on Louis’ grocery list, ticking each item off as he went to make sure. He’d come over to Louis’ apartment earlier and saw that he was napping on the couch. Harry thought he looked too cute to be woken up so he began tidying up some things when he saw the list of groceries that Zayn had written out for them. Louis was supposed to have been doing it but must have fallen asleep before he got to it.

Thirty minutes later, Harry found himself at the market. It wasn’t unlike him to still go out of his way and do nice things for Louis, but he’d been cutting it down to a minimal amount because Louis just gave him this sad look like he knew Harry was still afraid of losing him and that upset him. Harry was trying not to do that anymore. He wasn’t. He just wanted to do something nice for Louis from time to time. He’d realized that this was all something that would just take time for them to move on from. He wasn’t going to wake up one day and not be scared about losing Louis even though Louis had said that he won’t. It was a process and things were delicate between them still. But couples had fights and problems. They were going to have all of that and Harry just needed to make sure he was still trying his best.

Harry left Whole Foods another twenty minutes later with several bags of groceries in hand including an extra box of Louis’ favorite cereal (Cinnamon Toast Crunch) and walked back to his apartment. He found Louis up and thumbing through his phone when he walked through the door.

“Where’ve you been? I’ve been texting you,” Louis said when he saw him.

“I came over and you were napping,” Harry explained. “So, I went and did your groceries. Got you an extra box of cereal!”

“Thanks, babe. I’ll give you the money for that,” Louis smiled appreciatively. “But listen, I want to talk about something with you.”

“What’s up?” Harry asked from the kitchen where he was putting away everything he’d gotten.

“I think I want to go back to college,” Louis said, following Harry into the kitchen.

Harry looked at Louis, turning away from groceries, a confused frown on his face. “What?” he asked. “Really?” Louis nodded his head. Harry gave him a small smile, brows still creased. “Where is this coming from?”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked.

“Well, I don’t know,” Harry shrugged. “You’ve got a job that you really enjoy. I mean, I know you’d only have to do like that one semester to get a degree, but still. Why the sudden change?”

“That’s just it,” Louis said. “I had one semester left. I don’t regret, like, leaving because I had a great time abroad, but it seems like a waste, don’t you think?”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Harry agreed. “I think it’s a great idea, then, Lou. This is awesome.”

“I think so, too,” Louis beamed. “If I can get my degree it could open up several more opportunities and doors for me, so I thought if the radio thing doesn’t work out, why not? Besides, not sure if I want to work there all my life, you know?”

“So, you’d be working there part-time?”

“Yeah,” Louis said. “I was already technically working part-time because I only have some slots a week. I talked with my boss. We discussed it, like, different shifts I could work and my options. He seemed really cool with it.”

“Then that’s great,” Harry said, grinning. “You’re going back to college.”

Louis let out a shaky, almost disbelieving laugh. “I’m going back to college,” he repeated.  

Harry walked over to him, closing the distance between them, and gave Louis a hug. “And you’re going to fucking ace it.”

september (louis)

Hunter College was smaller than Louis remembered it.

On his first day back then, he’d managed to get lost at least five times and was late to all his classes. It was a bit embarrassing when kids younger than him turned to stare at him as he tried to casually walk into all the classes, having their shit together way more than he did despite their age difference. Nonetheless, he had an alright time. Louis’ classes were all interesting and he could see himself walking out of there feeling like he’d made a good decision to come back and do this. And essentially, it was just exciting to be starting something new, like a new chapter in his life. On top of that, they renovated quite a bit since he used to go there and it was a big improvement. Everything looked up to date, so, all in all, not bad.

It also helped that Harry texted him all day to make sure he was okay.

how are classes? having fun? :)

they’re alright. i keep getting lost, tho :( they renovated it lol so i have no idea where anything is anymore

haha! you’ll get used to it by next week, babe. made any new friends?

not rlly. there was this one guy in my management class who seemed friendly i guess

was he hot?

excuse me?

;)                         

shut the fuck up

Louis let a few minutes pass before picking up his phone again and shooting Harry another text.

idk about how hot he is, but the boy sitting next to me in this class rn is extremely hot. i think I’ll fuck him

what?

;)

no lou wait

After Louis’ last class, he took a cab to Harry’s flat and walked in on him singing along to "Love Me Like You Do," which was playing loudly on the radio, while washing dishes in the kitchen. It was a bit endearing (not because Harry was only in his hot pink boxer briefs), but because Harry was making his voice super high-pitched to sound like Ellie and it was hilarious.

“’Ello, ‘Arree’,” Louis greeted him with a faux French accent, walking towards Harry and hugging him from behind. Harry giggled, putting down the dishes and turning around to wrap his arm around Louis to give him a proper hug.

“How was your day?” he asked, rubbing Louis’ back.

“Good,” Louis mumbled, his mouth muffled against Harry’s thin t-shirt. “I missed you.” He peered up at him and gave him a shy smile. Harry grinned, dipping down to kiss him. When they both pulled away, Louis still held on to him. “What were you doing?”

“Cleaning up and listening to the radio.”

“Singing along to the radio, you mean.”

“That, too.”

Louis smiled, before hugging Harry again. He was just about to ask if he wanted to go out for dinner when Harry spoke up again. “So, that hot guy that sat next to you in class…,” he trailed off.

Louis smirked up at him and nodded. This was fun. They both knew that neither of them had anything to worry about, but they still liked teasing each other just to get a rise out of the other. For a long time, it wasn’t like that. Harry would walk around eggshells when he was with Louis, but over time it got better and things were finally starting to feel a lot more natural.

“He was very nice. Helpful too -- told me he’d show me around and hang out with me during our breaks.”

“No,” Harry shook his head.

“What?”

“No.”

“No, what? He’s just being nice. And, I really need someone to show me around so I don’t get lost.”

“No. Go find yourself a map. He doesn’t have to show you anything.”

“Harry.”

“No.”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh and Harry glared at him. Louis poked his dimple until he smiled and it sunk in. “You’re so cute,” he said, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and kissing the line under his jaw.

“Cuter than that guy, right?”

Louis laughed again, nodding his head and kissing him on the lips. It started off slow but heated up moments later. Harry firmly gripped Louis’ waist, picking him up off the floor and Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s bare waist. When Harry started walking, Louis lifted his lips off of him. “Where are we going?”

“We’re going to have your first day back at college celebratory sex,” he told Louis. “Also, I want you to forget all about that dick in your class.”

Louis burst out laughing as Harry walked them to his bedroom and placed him on his bed. “Works for me.” Harry gave him a hard look, pulling Louis’ shirt off of him.

“Better work for you.”

Harry jumped on the bed and Louis let out a squeal as he landed square above him. He was holding himself up with his palms flat on either side of Louis so he didn’t crash right down. Harry smiled at Louis, leaving sporadic kisses on his exposed. “Fading in, fading out, on the edge of paradise,” he sang quietly. “Every inch of your skin is the holy grail I got to find.”

Louis started to giggle again and pulled Harry’s head down claiming his lips in a deep kiss.

october (harry)

When the weather got chillier and the leaves started turning bright shades of orange, red, and yellow, Liam had come to Harry one afternoon to tell him that he was going to move out of their shared apartment. Sophia had asked him to move in with her since she wanted to get a new place near her job and Harry’d been nothing but happy for them. It was a step up and it was exciting. The other boys came over and helped him move his things out before heading to the bar for a few drinks as a reward for working hard all day.

It was nice; all five of them crowded around in the booth drinking beer and laughing about everything and then absolutely nothing. As the night progressed and the bar was becoming less and less crowded, and they were all feeling lazy drunk, the conversation took a more nostalgic route.

“Do you guys remember how we all met?” Liam asked, eyes crinkling in a soft smile.  

“Yeah,” Harry nodded with a mumbled, syrupy voice, his whole body tucked into Louis. “I remember that night. T’was a good night.”

“At mine and B’s housewarming party, right?” Niall asked.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, stroking Harry’s hair, making the younger boy hum in approval. “I’d just gotten back from my trip and you had the housewarming party and invited all of us.”

“Imagine if one of us hadn’t come that night,” Liam said, laughing at the thought. “It wouldn’t be the same as right now, would it? The dynamic of it at least. Like would we be as close if say Zayn hadn’t come?”

“No,” the other boys said in unison, shaking their heads at the thought.

“We’ve been through so much together these past, what, four, five years? None of it would have happened if one of us wasn’t here,” Niall said.

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded. “Wouldn’t be the same. And it’s strange to think because we might not all be in the same place together, say years down the line. What’ll happen then? Will we still be best friends?”

“I think so,” Harry said. “It’ll be different, but this won’t change. We won’t change. When I think about who my best friends are, I don’t think about people from my town or who I grew up with. I think of you boys because the best times of my life have been with all of you.”

“Aw, Harry,” Niall cooed, leaning over to poke his dimple. “I agree, though. You guys are my best fucking friends and I wouldn’t think of anyone else to take that spot.” The rest of the boys smiled warmly at each other, lovingly and fondly. Harry agreed with Niall. He wouldn’t trade these boys, their memories with anyone for anything.

“So, where do you see yourself in a few years then?” Louis asked. “Liam. Let’s start with you -- you made a huge move with Sophia today.”

“I did,” Liam laughed sheepishly. “I don’t know -- I mean, I like my job at Soul Cycle. Being a trainer is great. Maybe get married?”

“You ready to pop the question?” Zayn asked, curiously.

Liam shrugged. “Not yet, but hopefully in the future. I know Niall’s ready to pop the question.”

“I was ready to pop the question, like, years ago,” Niall replied slurring a bit with excitement. “But B and I are good and happy together now, marriage or no marriage. Workwise we’re both succeeding, so that’s good. I’d like to be promoted -- maybe open my own label someday. And with the baby on the way, I know we’ll need more money. It’s not easy raising kids in the city, but I don’t doubt we can do it.”

“What about proposing then?” Harry asked, looking at him with a gleam in his eyes. If there was anything he loved more than babies, it was weddings. What could he say? He was a domestic kind of guy.

“Maybe after the baby is born,” Niall replied before fixing Harry with a look. “What about you then, lover boy? When are you two tying the knot? With the rate at which you two got together, chances are Zayn will find a new girl and get married to her before then.”

“Heeey,” Zayn whined, hiccuping as he started to laugh. “Perrie and I’ve only been broken up for about three months. I’m not ready to date and don’t know when I’ll be. Just focusing on me. My art and stuff.”

“How are you holding up with that?” Liam asked him.

Zayn shrugged, giving them a soft smile. “I’m okay. It was for the best -- and shit like this happens all the time. I’m sure I’ll find someone who is really meant to be with me soon.”

“No doubt about it,” Harry smiled at him, his eyes sparkling. “You’re beautiful, Zaynie.”

Louis shot Harry a look, not liking the tone of his voice and the rest of them laughed because they knew Louis was only joking. Harry pet his cheek and leaned up to give him a kiss to respite him.

“Don’t avoid the question,” Niall said, focusing back on them again. “What’s your plan? We’ve just laid out ours for you now tell us yours.”

“I think,” Louis started to reply, while Harry shifted up to look at him properly because he was genuinely curious about the answer. “That Harry and I are happy together and we’ll continue to be happy together. And that’s where we are at right now.”

A sort of silence took over as they all stared at the two of them and Harry smiled mischievously before saying, “But I’m proposing whenever we do get to that point.”

“Fuck off,” Louis cried indignantly. “I’m proposing. You’re not going to do it.”

“Um, no. I already know what I’m doing and everything. You’re definitely not going to propose to me. I’m going to do what I’m planning.”

“Harry,” Louis pouted. “That’s so unfair. How do you know --.”

“Alright boys,” Liam cut in before either of them could continue. “How about one of you propose and the other one gets to name the first baby or something.”

“Darcy,” Harry said at the same time Louis said, “David Beckham Jr.”

The two of them turned to look at each other and instead of arguing, they just burst out laughing with all the other boys.

november (louis)

Louis walked out of his office building, having just finished his slot on air when he noticed him.  

Greg was sitting alone on a bench in the park across the street, one leg over the other, with a cigarette between his lips. Louis hadn’t seen him at all since their talk at Starbucks all those months ago. He’d often wondered what had happened to him, but he felt like he wasn’t allowed to text him to ask after everything that had gone down. It was so cringe-worthy and embarrassing. Louis was aware he’d hurt someone who was only ever good to him and that guilty had still never properly settled in.

A small part of Louis was scared to see him again, so close and right there, but there was also another part of him that wanted to approach Greg. Things were at their worst when they last saw each other, the beginning of the downfall, and now everything was different. Louis felt like a completely different person, having grown up in a lot of ways since he’d last seen Greg. Louis knew if he walked away then he’d always regret it if he didn’t at least say something to him now when he had the chance. It was like seeing an old friend who you had once been so close with, but things had fizzled out and you stopped seeing them yet you still thought about them from time to time. That was how Louis felt about Greg and he was curious to see how he was, what he’d been doing, when he’d started smoking.

After all, Louis was lucky that Greg didn’t get him fired.

Maybe he didn’t completely hate Louis, Louis thought to himself as he slowly made his way over to Greg.

Greg looked up before Louis had even reached him or could say anything and their eyes locked. Panic spread through Louis’ entire body, but he willed himself to get a grip and go through with it, even if Greg wasn’t smiling at him like he hung the stars as he so often used to. “Hey,” Louis said, coming up to him.

“Hi,” Greg said slowly, exhaling smoke and looking up at him. “How’ve you, uh, been?”

“Good,” Louis nodded far too eagerly. “Can I sit?”

Greg didn’t respond right away and Louis wondered if this was a terrible, terrible mistake. He’d thought it was just one of those situations where people overthought and made a mountain out of a molehill. Like Louis was just being too pessimistic and it was going to be fine and okay if he approached Greg and tried to talk to him. But, no, this was bad. This was downright humiliating.

“Just wanted to talk to you,” Louis said, his voice growing smaller as the silence wore on longer than he felt comfortable. Greg put the cigarette back on his lips and nodded. Louis took that as a yes and tried not to breathe an obvious sigh of relief. He had to be quick, though. They weren’t here for small talk, that much was for sure. It was way too awkward for that. Louis turned to Greg, studying his profile curiously. “How’ve you been? Haven’t seen you around work that much.”

“I’m over in Boston now,” he answered. “It’s good. I’m good.”

“That’s good,” Louis said, still feeling a little awkward, but less scared. Greg had a guard up, Louis could tell, but he didn’t blame him. “You came to visit then? When did you get here?”

“I came for a meeting, yeah. I think I got here, like, two days ago. The meeting is later today, but I’ll be here for another week or so.”

“Still got your old place?” Louis asked, hoping it was okay that he did. God, they’d spent so much time together there. It felt like a decade ago, even though it really wasn’t. It was only a little over a year ago.

“Yeah,” Greg replied after a brief pause. “A friend stays there when I’m not here. So, it works out.”

Louis nodded again, looking down at his lap. His fingers were stiff and pale due to the cold, November weather. It was silent between them again, a bit longer than the time before, so Louis said the only thing that he could think of at this point. “I’m sorry.”

Greg looked at him and frowned. “What? Sorry for what?”

“Everything,” Louis blurted. “I know I apologized months ago, but I still am sorry, Greg. I’m sorry that I made work so unbearable for you that you had to leave town.”

“No,” Greg shook his head quickly, interrupting him. He looked utterly confused and frantic. “I didn’t leave because of you. I got a promotion, but it was in Boston. I get three times what I’m paid for here.” Louis stared at him blankly and then Greg broke out laughing at his reaction. “You thought I skipped town because of you?” He was practically in stitches from laughing so hard and Louis couldn’t help but smile a little, feeling so stupid for jumping to conclusions.

“Shut up,” Louis said, trying not to blush. “What was I supposed to think? I stopped seeing you since we last met and I had no idea where to find you.”

“It was a bit after that, yes. But it wasn’t because of you. I did avoid you for a while, but the moving thing had nothing to do with it.”

Louis nodded his head, pursing his lips. “That’s a relief, otherwise I think I’d have added on guilt for the rest of my life.”

Greg cocked his head to the side and smirked at Louis. “How important do you think you are, Tomlinson?”

“Don’t be a dick, Gregory.” And oh, they were teasing each other. Greg wasn’t as angry as Louis thought he was. So maybe it was better than he expected. Greg laughed with a shake of his head, throwing his cigarette down on the ground and stubbing it with his shoe. “When did you start smoking, then?”

“Picked it up off my roommate in Boston. Nasty habit. Been trying to quit.” Louis snickered, leaning back comfortably on the bench. This was good. They were doing good. Louis could potentially walk out of this feeling like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

“Are you -- did -- you. Uhm,” Greg stuttered suddenly and then looked up at Louis, awkwardly. “Are you and Harry okay?”

Louis slowly nodded with a soft, fond smile at the thought of Harry. “Yeah,” he replied. “Things were a bit rough after what happened with you. It only got worse, believe it or not, but we’re together now. We have been for months, actually.”

Greg smiled at that. Not a fake one, but an actual genuine smile, and it made Louis feel a lot better knowing he wasn’t upset anymore over what happened and that there were no hard feelings. “That’s good. Does he treat you right?”

“Yeah,” Louis said without a second thought. “He’s great. It’s terrible that we spent so much time playing games and, like, dragged other people into it. We regret that obviously, but it’s best to move on and try to be a better person.”

“I’m glad you two got your shit together. It was about time.”

Louis giggled, nodding his head. “Yeah, it was about time.”

Greg stood up then, brushing his hands on his pants, and looked down at Louis. “I’ve to go upstairs for the meeting. But, uh, good luck with everything. And say hello to Harry for me.”

“Thanks, Greg,” Louis smiled. He quickly stood up and gave him a hug before he could convince himself not to. Pulling away, Louis noticed Greg wasn’t cringing or wincing, which, thank God. He didn’t want to overstep his boundaries, but he wanted to do that. “Good luck to you, too. Hope to see you again soon.”

Greg gave him a smile before walking back towards their building. He turned around once and gave Louis a two-fingered wave before stepping inside.

december (harry)

The holiday season in New York City had to be one of the best things ever.

Harry remembered growing up in Long Island and taking the LIRR over to the city every other year just to get a glimpse of the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center, to see the decorations at Bloomingdales and 5th Ave, to take a walk in Central Park while drinking hot chocolate. Ever since he moved there, those traditions didn’t cease. He was still giddy as ever to push through the crowds and see the biggest Christmas tree because it made him feel like Kevin from Home Alone. He still liked to stroll down 5th Ave with a cup of hot chocolate and look at all the window displays. And ice skating at Bryant Park. He loved to ice skate there even though he landed on his ass most of the time.

Louis called him a cliche for doing these things, but it wasn’t a cliche to appreciate what your city had. It wasn’t a cliche to do all the things tourists traveled hours to see. And even though Louis made fun of him, he only complained minimally when Harry dragged him out of the flat to go see the tree that cold, December night.

“I can’t believe this,” Louis said when he got jostled by another tourist while Harry tugged him towards the tree. “I cannot fucking believe this.”

“We’re going to have fun, Lou. Trust me!” Harry smiled, all of his white, straight teeth on display.

“I’m not having a lot of fun, right now, Harry. There’s a reason I haven’t come to see the tree since I was 16,” Louis groaned. Harry stopped momentarily, tugging Louis until he stood in front of Harry’s body. “What are you doing?”

“I’m caging you in so that if you do get jostled it’ll be by me and you won’t mind as much,” Harry said, pressing a kiss on the back of his neck while moving them forward. It proved to be a lot more difficult to walk, but Louis wasn’t complaining anymore, so Harry counted that as a win.

After they finally made it to the front of the tree, Harry looked stumped and in absolute awe as if he hadn’t seen that tree ever in his life. When Harry turned to look at Louis, he found him looking back at Harry instead. “What?” Harry asked, looking at him and licking his chapped, cold lips.

“You look pretty,” Louis said, leaning in closer and batting his eyes at him. Harry grinned down as Louis cupped Harry’s face. “You have rosy red cheeks and a green beanie to match your fucking eyes for crying out loud. You look prettier than the tree, baby.”

Harry batted at him shyly, while Louis laughed and kissed him before drawing back and wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist, instead. Harry wrapped an arm around him, too, but took pictures of the tree on his phone with the other.

“We should get one together in front of the tree,” Harry said, looking down at Louis.

Louis agreed easily, much to Harry’s surprise. They stood under the tree and asked a nearby couple to take pictures of them. They took three; one with them just smiling, another pulling faces, and the last one of Harry kissing Louis’ cheek, which quickly became Louis' Facebook profile picture with a heart and tree emoji as the caption.

By the end of the night, after maneuvering around thousands of tourists and seeing all the Holiday sights that New York had to offer, Harry took Louis to dinner over at Serendipity. They got a nice little table in a cozy, warm spot and sat next to each other after their main course to sip from their frozen hot chocolate bowl together.

“Did you have fun?” Harry asked, slurping up some whipped cream through his straw.

Louis was staring at him and struggling to hide his fond smile while shaking his head, but Harry knew better. He grinned through his straw and nudged Louis knowingly.

“Don’t lie,” he said. “I know you did.”

“I really didn’t,” Louis said trying to be convincing but failing.

“C’mon,” Harry grinned, pulling him closer and mouthing at his cheeks with his cold, cold lips. “You did. You were smiling.”

“Okay, okay,” Louis said, giving up easily and shivering beside Harry. “Only because I was with you.”

“I was smiling only because I was with you, too,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ cheek. “Would you like another frozen hot chocolate?”

“Yes, please,” Louis beamed.

january (harry)

Harry could see Louis messing about with some of the toys in the aisle next to the one he was standing in, and he shook his head, trying to suppress the fond that was about to burst through his chest for his boyfriend. They were at Babies R’ Us trying to buy some new gifts for Niall and Barbara’s new baby girl, Blake, but it was taking forever.

It had only been two days since she was born and she was perfect. They’d gone to the hospital yesterday when Blake was born and Harry could hardly believe it when Niall came out of the delivery holding the baby, looking like the happiest man on earth. Blake was beautiful, simply put. She had the bluest eyes like her daddy and her mommy’s soft, pretty features. Harry fell in love with her right away -- even before it was his turn to hold baby Blake. She blinked up at him and spit up only once and Harry was fucking gone.

Harry remembered the entire walk home he was pattering on and on about Blake to Louis. He was telling him how he’d like to see Blake at least once a week so that he was up to date on how she was growing because babies tend to grow up in the blink of an eye, Lou, they’re always developing and I have to see Blake develop and grow. Harry told him how he’d like to spoil Blake even though he wasn’t earning too much right now with his new internship at a small company in midtown, but he still wanted to take her out and babysit her a lot, if that was okay with Louis.

Louis, of course, was down with it all. He loved babies, having grown up with so many younger siblings and his mom’s two newest ones. Louis was more just amused by Harry’s reaction because he said it was cute.

Now, the two of them were on their way to see Blake and her parents at their apartment since it was her first day at home. However, Harry knew he wanted to get Blake some gifts before they went, so they made a pit stop on the way. Only thing was, Louis was distracted by the toys while Harry was stashing every outfit he could find in their basket since he wanted to get them all.

“Are you quite finished?” Harry asked Louis when he’d managed to get everything he liked. Louis nodded, walking back with a teddy bear and what looked like a piano that lit up when you pressed on the keys. Harry laughed while Louis looked offended.

“What’s funny?”

“You do realize she is, like, two days old, right? Why are you getting her these? She won’t be able to play with them.”

Louis rolled his eyes, although there was no mirth behind it. “Maybe it’ll entertain her, I don’t know. I want to spoil her just as much as you do. Besides, you’re no better at this than I am. Look at all the clothes you got, babe.”

“They’re all so cute, though,” Harry preened, holding up a yellow dress with sunflowers on them. “Wouldn’t she look like sunshine in this?”

Louis smiled, touching the fabric and nodding. He turned back to the rest of the clothes, going through them with approval before looking at the selection in front of them again. His eyes landed on some pink sneakers and Louis picked them up, grinning at Harry.

“These,” he said simply, expecting Harry would understand.

“No,” Harry shook his head. “They don’t match any of these clothes I picked.”

“Yes, they do,” Louis argued, picking up a pink outfit that was an entire shade different and would look so off. Louis held it next to the dress and grinned up at Harry. “See?”

“No,” Harry shook his head again. “These booties -,” he picked up the booties that actually went with the dress, “- go so much better.”

“Harry,” Louis whined.

“Trust me,” Harry said.

“Fine,” Louis groaned. “I’m still getting these sneakers then.”

“At least get an outfit to match it, Lou,” Harry said. “We can’t give her these sneakers without an outfit.”

“Oh my God,” Louis said, laughing at him. “You’re terrible. Imagine what you’ll do when we have our own babies.”

It was like everything froze for a moment -- all time, movement, space. Harry was staring at Louis with his lips parted and heart racing. It was a given that they were together for the long run. They were in it to be together forever, but talks of marriage or even babies weren’t something they did often. And Harry did want that -- he wanted everything with Louis. He couldn’t imagine having it with anyone but Louis.

A slow smile crept on his face and Louis seemed to unfreeze, too, not quite able to meet Harry’s eyes after that. Harry decided to not call him out quite yet. They could talk about this. Have fun with it.

“You have no idea,” he said to Louis. “I’d spoil our babies so much. They’d have every toy in this store without a doubt.”

“Oh yeah?” Louis asked, grinning as he traced over some random onesie. “Would that be your way of being the favorite daddy?”

He was smirking at Harry and something warm coiled in Harry’s stomach. Something that made him take a step closer and kiss Louis really quick before drawing back and try not to kiss him again even though he was doing that cute little surprised face he does.

“You’d be their favorite daddy, Lou,” he said. “I couldn’t compete if I tried.”

“Not true,” Louis said, smiling fondly up at Harry, cupping his cheek. “You’d be the best daddy.”

“Nuh-uh,” Harry shook his head. “You’d be the one who would let them get away with eating ice cream before dinner or staying up a little late.”

“Yeah, but you’d be the one to take care of them when they’re sick or needed someone to make them grilled cheese because God knows you make the best ones.”

Harry beamed at him, his eyes shining. “We would be such good daddies.”

Louis nodded, smiling up at him. “We would, wouldn’t we?”

Harry leaned forward and kissed Louis again, trying to keep it sweet and short since they were standing in an aisle at Babies ‘R Us of all places, but it was so hard. He reluctantly pulled away after a few moments and looked down at Louis. “I love you.”

Louis flushed adorably, giving him a quick kiss again before looking back at the clothes. “Right, so I’m going to find the perfect fucking outfit for this, just so you know because I’m getting these. They’re so cute.”

Harry cackled out a laugh and followed his future baby daddy over to the next aisle to find more clothes.

february (harry)

Hey Haz. It’s been a while we’ve talked, but I just wanted to wish you happy birthday. I haven’t forgotten. I know things ended really badly the last time we saw each other, but I was hoping that maybe we could meet up and talk. - Peter

Hey Peter. thank you! and yeah, sure. we could grab a coffee.

I could meet you now if you’re free?

Harry was chewing his bottom lip harshly as he walked to the Caffe Bene in Union Square, trying not to bump straight into any people leaving their offices after work since it was rush hour. He was just distracted and dazed and a bit nervous to watch where he was going.  And he had a good reason to be a bit nervous, too. He was about to go see his ex-boyfriend of practically five years after their tumultuous breakup when he had told him that he cheated on him with his current boyfriend.

Which was like -- shit.

Harry honestly hadn’t expected to hear from him ever again, but that was a bit stupid of him to think. Peter had been in his life longer than most of his friends and being from the same town, he knew they’d somehow end up seeing each other again one way or another. He just didn’t expect it to be this soon, albeit it was nice that he texted to meet up with him on his birthday. The way they ended was messy and something neither of them deserved. That relationship was beautiful in the beginning and it deserved to end without any bitterness. It deserved honesty and equality, not for it burn down in flames as it had.

Obviously, Harry ran it by Louis first. And Louis seemed a bit wary, which Harry didn’t blame him for, but then he said it could be good and that he trusted Harry completely. Harry knew he was only saying that because Louis himself had bumped into Greg back in November. He’d told Harry all about it that night and how it had made him feel a lot better so a part of Harry went into this thinking that maybe it would make him feel better, too. Or maybe it wouldn’t.

While Harry knew he was mistreated by Peter during their relationship, he also wasn’t going to play the victim card because he knew he was in the wrong as well. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t think about this often, didn’t think about the many different ways everything could have turned out. In the end, though, it happened the way it was supposed to. He couldn't change the past, and hopefully, Peter for a cup of coffee would be good. They could both walk away from it and not have it end on such a terrible note.

When Harry walked into Caffe Bene, he found Peter sitting at a table by the corner window. Harry took a deep, shaky breath before walking over. “Hey,” he said, announcing himself.

Peter looked up and gave him a small, almost relieved smile. “Hi,” he said. “How are you? Sit.” He gestured to the seat in front of him and Harry sat down, looking at the boy who he once loved. He looked good, miles better than how he would when they were together. There weren’t any stress lines on his face anymore, his hair was styled a different way, and even his shirt looked new, something Harry hadn’t seen him in before. “Happy birthday, again.”

“Thanks,” Harry replied. “Sweet of you to remember. Also, to answer your question, I’m good, thank you.”

Peter nodded with a smile. “I couldn’t not wish you. I’ve spent so many of your birthdays with you. It would have felt a bit weird to just skip this one out.”

Harry hummed, pulling his chapped lips in, and awkwardly placed his hands on the table. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay. Just busy with work and all,” Peter replied. “What about you? What have you been up to?”

After that, the conversation started to flow easily. They both got their coffees and sat down and caught up. There wasn’t any awkwardness, just some disconnection, which was understandable. They’d known each other too long for it to be awkward, but since they’d lost touch in the middle and they both did some growing up, it was just different. They talked about Peter’s job and how he was promoted within the office. Peter asked Harry about his new job and graduation.

“It all sounds really exciting,” Peter said once Harry filled him in. “I just wish that I was around for some of it.”

Harry gripped his coffee cup and tried not to say anything, even though the words were on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he opted to act aloof. “What do you mean?”

Peter sighed wistfully and folded his hands on the table. “I mean, I’ve been in your life for a long time, Haz. I was there through all the major moments of your life and we got through it together. It’s just upsetting that I’m not there anymore. I didn’t expect that, is what I’m saying.”

Harry knew what Peter was doing and he just didn’t want him to. Not anymore. They weren’t dating anymore. They weren’t anything to each other anymore.

“Don’t do that, Peter,” Harry said quietly.

“Do what?” He looked a bit taken aback.

“You know what you’re doing. Yeah, you were there during all those times, but you aren’t anymore. We had to break up. It wasn’t healthy what we were doing.”

“Don’t put it down on the table like it was my fault.”

Harry look at Peter sadly, wishing that he’d just understand because it wasn’t a blame game since they were both to blame. “I don’t want to play the victim card, okay? I agree that it wasn’t all you, but a good portion of it was and it’s time you owned up to it, too. I tried my best with us and you were always extremely difficult with me.”

Peter’s expression changed quickly and he glared at Harry, his lips in a thin line. “You wouldn’t understand how I felt. I know we have a bit of an age difference, but not so much that you completely disvalue what I was going through.”

“You make it sound like I wasn’t struggling either and that I was ungrateful to have you around or wasn’t there to help you through everything, which you know I was.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he argued. “I never said that. You’ve always just had your own set of friends here, Harry. Ever since we moved to the city, it’s been you and them and it was intimidating to see you change like that.”

“Well, it’s who I am now,” Harry told him firmly. “I was never going to always be that kid you started dating, I had to grow up and become my own. And it had nothing to do with my friends. We had to break up regardless of whether there was someone else in the picture or not.”

At the mention of that, they both became silent. Peter looked at Harry imploringly before saying, “I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came here to be on good terms with you. I want to be friends again.”

“I didn’t come here to argue either,” Harry told him earnestly. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here, but to be honest, I don’t know if what you want is going to happen. Maybe in, like, ten years if you start to own up to all the things you did. Until then...”

“Fine,” Peter said harshly once Harry denied him. “I was in the wrong, okay? I told you. I couldn’t handle it and I’m sorry.”

Harry sighed again, leaning back in his chair and running his fingers through his hair frustratingly. “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I cheated on you and for not ending things between us sooner. I let it drag on and that was my fault.”

“Don’t make it sound like you hated it.” Peter was pouting a little and genuinely looked upset. And Harry didn’t want that either. He didn’t want him to be upset or make him feel like Harry regretted his time spent with Peter because he didn’t. Peter was a big part of Harry’s life back in Port Washington, but that was a small town and this was a big city. Things had to change. That wasn’t all Harry wanted and it wasn’t Peter’s fault. It was just how things were meant to be.

“I didn’t hate it at first,” Harry said to him, honestly. “But we both just grew up and we weren’t compatible. It had to happen.” Peter nodded his head in response, not saying anything. “I should probably get going, though.”

Peter snapped his head up at that. “Already?”

Harry shrugged, putting his phone and wallet in his pocket. “I’ve got plans with my friends later and Louis is waiting for me.”

Peter’s lips parted when he heard Louis’ name. He didn’t know they were officially dating as far as Harry knew. “So, you’re together then?” Peter asked at last.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “We’ve been together for almost a year now.”

“Wow,” he said as casually as he could, though Harry knew he wasn’t quite pleased.

“So, it was nice meeting you,” Harry said. “Thank you for wishing me a good birthday again and for talking. I’m sorry if I was out of line back there, but...yeah. I don’t know, Peter. It’s just best if we don’t talk for a while. You’re clearly not over it and I’ve well moved on.”

“Good for you.”

Harry looked at him for something more, but he didn’t offer it. So, he slipped his coat on and stood up. “So, bye?”

“Bye,” Peter said with a clipping tone.

It was best not to push his buttons or drag this out any longer than it needed to be. Harry walked out of there, the cold hair nipping against his skin. When he felt his phone vibrate with a simple text from Louis asking where he was, Harry smiled while hitting the dial button. It was his birthday and he was going to let bygones be bygones and go home to his amazing boy.

march (harry)

While Harry’s apartment which he once shared with Liam since his sophomore year of college was too tiny for two guys to be living in, it was too big when he moved out as well. The fact remained that it was a shoebox apartment with two bedrooms, a small kitchen, a narrow hallway, and only one bathroom, but Liam moved out almost six months ago and as the days passed, Harry started to feel like he needed a change of scenery, too.

Harry loved his apartment, he really did. He had made many memories and grew into who he was while living there (the first time he drank so much he puked the entire next day and the day after that, cooking an entire meal on his own, and the most obvious one, being out on his own for the first time in the city). However, it was time and he could just feel it in his bones because he’d started dreading going up those same stairs and walking into his too-small, too-big living space. It only dawned on him one day when Louis was over that what he needed was not only a bigger apartment but also someone to live in it with him. And Harry couldn’t think of anyone who he’d want that someone to be other than Louis.

It had only been about a year since they became boyfriends, officially in a relationship, and completely, totally, fully devoted to each other. Harry was so in love with Louis that he wanted to do every sort of commitment there was. He wanted to marry him, he wanted to have kids with him, and he wanted forever with Louis. Nevertheless, he knew that the ride there was a part of life, too.

Harry knew that every step was important and he loved it with Louis. He liked the buildup to the new aspects of their relationship because although he might have shared some of it once with someone before, it was on a whole other level with Louis. Everything felt twice as much to him as it did before. And it kept him on his toes, while also paving the way for their future. They fit well together and it showed. He just didn’t know if Louis wanted to move in with him, too. The only way to find out would be to ask him and Harry knew the perfect way to do so.

By the time March rolled around and the birds started chirping and the weather was warming up and the city was colored in pretty pastel shades, Harry made his decision. He was going to move out. He print out several addresses with pictures for open houses that were going around in the city and texted Louis.

Going apartment hunting, do you wanna come? :)

apartment hunting?????? you were serious about that???????

Of course, Lou.

umm okay !!!!! sure. ill get dressed. where do i meet u???????????????

An hour later, Louis and Harry were walking to the first apartment that was located near Noho with their fingers laced together between them. Louis looked so pretty in his jean jacket and a maroon t-shirt that Harry had to kiss him for a few minutes outside the apartment before walking inside. It was nice, a bit smaller than how they made it seem in the pictures but had a really spacious kitchen. That worked well for Harry, however, he was mostly watching Louis look around. There were some cookies on the counter, which Louis was munching on with crumbs falling out of his mouth, while he hummed in approval of things he liked or wrinkled at things he didn’t like.

Harry followed him into one of the bedrooms, watching as Louis inspected the view outside the window. “Do you like it?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded, but then shrugged. “It’s alright. What about you?”

“You know…,” Harry trailed off. “I just wanna know if you like it.”

Louis laughed, eyeing him suspiciously before walking over to him. “Where else are we going?”

That was how the rest of the apartment hunting went. They traveled to the different open houses, stealing kisses on the subway on the way, holding hands while walking there, and looking at the apartments. Louis would be quiet and inspective, while Harry would eye him, trying to gauge out a proper reaction as to whether or not this was a place Louis could see himself living in.

Once they got to their last house, the sky was darkening outside and they were both stuffed with cookies that were offered at every open house.

“Have you decided?” Louis asked Harry in the last room.

Harry looked at Louis, the last of the sunlight pouring into the room and casting shadows on Louis’ face, and decided maybe it was time he could muster up the courage to ask. “I’m not sure yet,” he replied. “What about you? Did you like any of them?”

Louis smiled, shrugging while pacing the room and distracting himself by touching the peeling wallpaper on the wall or looking in the small closet. “It’s gonna be your apartment, H. I’m okay with whatever you’re okay with. That third one did have the Taco Bell down the street, though. Easily a plus.”

Harry laughed, his dimple sinking into his cheek and eyes gleaming. “Taco Bell is an important thing to have nearby. Is that the one you liked the most? Because if it is then I’d totally get it so you can go to Taco Bell every day.”

Harry didn’t miss the way Louis froze for a moment before turning to face him. “So I can go to Taco Bell every day?”

“Yeah,” Harry replied, smiling sheepishly and looking at Louis with wide, earnest eyes, which probably made him look like a frog as Louis had told him once before. “I want you to move in with me, Lou. I want to get a place with you.”

Louis was quiet for a moment, stunned and speechless before a grin broke out on his face. “Harry,” he preened, his face lighting up as he closed the distance between them and practically hopped into Harry’s arms. Harry’s arms wound around Louis’ waist, while Louis cupped his face in his hands. “Shut up. Are you serious?”

Harry nodded his head. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“That’s why you asked me to come with you and that’s why you were asking all those questions about whether I liked it or not?” Louis asked, smiling up at Harry. Harry only grinned as innocently as he could. “That’s so like you, dumb ass. Fuck, wow. Move in together?”

“Yeah...we’re about to have our one-year anniversary and there is no way I’d like to celebrate than by moving in with you, Lou. Only if you’re ready, though. I know it’s a lot, but just know that I am.”

Louis only watched him with a fond expression, wonder, and awe in his eyes before leaning forward and kissing Harry sweetly. He tasted like chocolate chips and cookie dough. Before Harry could swipe and dip his tongue in Louis’ mouth, Louis drew back. “I’m ready,” he said immediately. “I wanna move in with you.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, his grin widening. “You and me?”

“You and me, babe.”