Chapter Text
He died with a thousand regrets. Which was a huge jump from only a week ago where he decided he didn't regret anything but not telling Rude how he felt. Now he regretted that he let himself get so caught up in his jealousy and self loathing he ruined not only his life but Rude's as well. Reno sighed, hands up to rub his eyes before he froze. Wait… could dead people move? Could dead people think ? What the fuck? His hands dropped with a frantic fwump against a bed and he forced himself up to sit, eyes open to look around.
His after life was a tacky fucking beach themed hotel room.
"You're awake."
Reno just about jumped out of his skin, bare feet landing on thin carpet as he sprang from the bed at the sound of Rude's voice. His partner was in nothing but a towel, tied low on his hips and Reno tried to keep his eyes from wandering but failed miserably. This was his afterlife, he could do what he fucking wanted.
"You're not dead." Rude sounded amused, and by the time Reno could tear his eyes off the very defined V in Rude's hips, the older man was smirking. "You have been fired, though."
"You, uh." Reno tried, throat hoarse from however long he had been under. "You don't get fired, you get iced… Oh…"
Silence settled as Reno put all the pieces together, replaying the last few hours he remembered in his mind. He wasn't good at the exact details, but he got the gist of it. Then he rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand and barked a laugh.
"Son of a bitch Velded me."
"Us. But I was in on it, at least."
"You got fired?"
"Oh, no, my pay was doubled." Rude rumbled, stepping further into the room to cross to the dresser. "And my indefinite mission is now to make sure you stay out of trouble."
A soft snort, Reno slowly moving back to the bed so he could sit down again. "Sounds like a punishment to me. I'm a lotta work."
"You are," Rude agreed as he set neatly folded clothes on top of the finished sandalwood and turned around to face his partner. Or. Former partner now. "But it's work I enjoy. Work I want to do."
"C'mon, Rude, you're making me blush." His voice was quieter now, head down as he rubbed the back of his neck and tried to stop staring at Rude's chest. It felt like his mouth was watering, fingers itching to reach out and touch him. Fuck, he wished he was dead and in his own personal heaven so he could . He didn't expect Rude to move closer, and he couldn't help but stare again before looking up at Rude with visible guilt. "Sorry."
"Do you remember what you said? Before you were shot?"
Looking down, Reno shrugged. "Not exactly, but I'm pretty sure it was embarrassing."
"Was it true?"
"Which part?"
"Any of it."
"All of it." Blue eyes looked up, holding Rude's unobstructed gaze. Maybe this was his hell, instead. Having to be babysat by the man who now knew he was in love with him but didn't feel the same. "All of it, Rude. I've loved you for ten fucking years, man."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Shit, I don't know. Plenty of reasons. The world was ending, we were going to die, I had no idea if you even cared…" Reno sighed, rubbing his eyes as he laid back on the bed and kept his vision covered. "I was going to tell you when I was done up north but then… everything else happened and… I dunno, I couldn't get my head above water, I guess. I thought I was losing you."
"It is pretty fucked up you had to be executed to finally admit that." Rude grunted. When Reno didn't open his eyes or offer a comment besides a sad laugh, Rude moved closer. The bed shifted under his weight and Reno dropped his hands to lift his head just enough to watch as Rude crouched over him. One knee was spreading Reno's legs while both hands settled on either side of his shoulders. "It's also fucked up I had to watch you get shot to admit I love you, too."
It felt like he couldn't breathe, too scared to break whatever spell this was giving Reno everything he dreamed of. Rude in a towel . Rude in a towel on top of him . Rude in a towel on top of him saying he loves him . "Yeah, well… guess we ain't too smart."
"Can I kiss you?"
He had to be dead. There was no way he would ever deserve this were he alive still. "You gotta ask?"
"Not sure if you'd rather I put clothes on first."
"Fuck no," And Reno finally touched him, hands grabbing his hips, thumbs pressing into that perfect chiseled divot. Where he was pretty sure he was drooling earlier, Reno's mouth suddenly felt dry and he looked down at where their bodies connected. As if in response, the knee between his legs pressed closer, drawing a hard moan from dry lips while Reno's face flushed pink.
"You never answered my question."
"Huh?" It was hard to think about anything else besides that sweet pressure between his legs, fighting the urge to grind against Rude's thigh like a fucking teenager. "Oh. Yeah. Yes. Yes, kiss me. I want you to kiss me."
"Say please."
" What ? Are you seriously trying to bargain right now? You're the one in just a towel." For measure, Reno slid his hands forward where the cloth was tucked in and loosened it as he held Rude's eyes. He wanted to look down as the towel hung open, but managed to keep his eyes up while light fingers traced the line of Rude's muscles. The slight shiver that rolled through his partner's body at his touch lit every nerve aflame, Reno shuddering himself with years and years of pent up anticipation. "And I'm pretty sure you're the one who asked if you could kiss me , so, really, you should be saying please."
"Please," Rude breathed without hesitation, eyes taking in every detail of Reno's face. "Let me kiss you."
It would have been so easy to make fun of him, and Reno had a dozen comments ready to go but the moment those eyes settled on his again, the only word he could manage was, "Yes."
Agonizingly slow but somehow overwhelming all at once, Rude lowered to his elbow, the back of his fingers brushing Reno's cheek. Only the soft sound of the younger man's exhale passed between them before their lips met for the second time in their lives. The moment was still, like they both waited for the dream to end; Reno half convinced he was dead and this was a cruel hallucination his dying brain gave him to settle his nerves before death overcame him. But it felt real. The warmth of Rude's skin under his palm, the gentle push of his lips, the scent of aftershave filling his lungs on the inhale.
This was real.