Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Neil Hatford

person

1. Sophomore student at PSU, Computer Engineering and Mathematical Sciences major, starting striker and vice-captain of the PSU Foxes
2. In love with Andrew Dobson

Mid-January

“Buddy, when was the last time you went out with us?”

Matt was lounging on Neil’s desk chair, lazily spinning it from left to right. He had stopped by the dorm half an hour ago and Neil had yet to figure out why.

“I go out all the time,” Neil mumbled belatedly, too focused on his phone to humor Matt with a proper conversation.

The 10 flirt hacks that never fail!

Neil was staring dubiously at the list on his phone. Partly because he couldn’t believe he had googled flirting tips, partly because the list seemed very random. Scrolling down, he wondered if he was really that desperate.

These steps are the fail-safe way to get your crush to want you!

Crush.

Neil wrinkled his nose at the word.

It seemed so contrite.

Andrew wasn’t a crush.

He was— Taking a deep breath, Neil didn’t know how to describe Andrew. He was—

“Buddy?”

Irritated, Neil looked up and rolled his eyes at Matt’s raised eyebrows. “Matt, I go to my lectures and to practice every day.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

Neil merely shrugged.

Do something nice for him. Bring him food.

Why should Neil bring Andrew food? He’d seen Andrew eat, so clearly he knew how to get his own food.

“Hey Matt,” Neil said, looking up and interrupting Matt in what probably was another speech about college life. “What would you think if I brought you food?”

“Uh,” Matt blinked at Neil, hands still raised in his favorite ‘look at the world outside’ gesture. “I’d love you? I mean, I already do, buddy, but yeah, that would be nice?”

Huh. Interesting.

Neil looked back down at the list and scrolled up to the beginning.

Here is our ultimate fail-safe 10-step plan to get the man of your dreams to fall in love with you!

Neil nibbled on his bottom lip, slowly nodding to himself.

Well, then.

Step 1: Make eye contact!

Eye contact is a key flirting technique which can be implemented anywhere and at any time. One good trick is to look directly at your crush until he catches you looking. When he does, lock eyes and let your glance linger for a moment or two; then give a sweet, confident smile and look slowly away.

Keep in mind, slow, languid smiles are considered sexy! Also, try smiling with your eyes, not just your mouth. Make your whole face light up when you smile at him.

If you're feeling particularly cheeky, throw in a wink!

Sweet, confident smile. Sexy. A wink.

Neil was staring at the words on his phone screen, the bright pink background already hurting his eyes. And what was going on with these cheesy couple photos?

Looking up, he blinked away the pink color imprinted on his iris and took in the throngs of people walking in and out of the science building in front of him. The first week of classes was always crazy with most students hurrying to find their classrooms while others lingered annoyingly in the middle of the paths and hallways to catch up with their friends.

A quiet ping had Neil glancing back down at his phone.

Stuart Hatford: Happy birthday Neil. Your mother and I are very proud of you.

Neil scoffed at his uncle’s words. He doubted his mother had spent a single thought on him after dropping him off at PSU a year and a half ago.

Shaking his head, Neil told himself that it didn’t matter.

With PSU, he had found a university that had offered him comprehensive scholarships, so he could study independent of his family’s money. They let him play lacrosse in the starting line-up of their college team. And they had even approved dual enrollment, making it possible for Neil to collect college credits until his mother finally allowed him to graduate early from high school and start university.

Rolling his shoulders once, Neil swiped the message away and went back to the website with the flirting tips as he pushed through the heavy building doors.

After reading over the short paragraph one last time, he locked his phone and shoved it into his jeans pocket as he reached the doors to his lecture hall. With a final nod to himself, he walked inside to get to his Intro to Differential Equations class – the only class he shared with Andrew this semester.

During freshman year, they had shared several general ed classes but now that they were starting to focus on their majors, only one was left.

Neil would have to make that one count.

He quickly spotted Andrew sitting to the side, pushing the end of his pen against his cheek and lips while reading through his notes in his notebook. Neil didn’t know why, but he could spend hours looking at Andrew – had more or less done exactly that during their shared classes over the last three semesters.

Maybe it was his calm and stoic demeanor that was a welcome contrast to the hectic students running around campus. Or his deep, slow voice Neil had only heard on rare occasions when a professor had called on him. Or his blond hair that looked so soft. Or maybe his broad shoulders and strong arms.

Shaking his head at his own thoughts, Neil quickly walked over to where Katelyn had already claimed two seats for them. How broad someone’s shoulders were wasn’t usually something Neil paid attention to, certainly not outside of lacrosse games when he had to gauge the strength of an opponent.

Listening to Katelyn telling him about last night’s date with her boyfriend, he took out a single sheet of paper and a couple pens, still glancing at Andrew from the corner of his eye. He was grateful that he had Katelyn to suffer together through their engineering lectures, but he could really do without her ramblings about Aaron. The guy was incredibly stand-offish and arrogant. Neil would also say that Aaron looked stupid, but even Neil could see the hypocrisy in that statement given he was Andrew’s identical twin.

Not that they looked particularly identical, in Neil’s opinion.

Thankfully, Katelyn’s story was cut short by the professor walking in and starting the lecture, bringing the noise level in the room down to a mere murmur.

With the professor going on about some basic equations and how to solve them, Neil’s mind wandered back to Andrew. And the flirting tips.

He wasn’t even sure why he wanted things to change. He enjoyed just watching Andrew. The way he listened to the professor, eyebrows furrowed the tiniest bin. Or took notes, sometimes going back several pages in his notebook as if looking for something. Or simply stared into the middle distance.

Would talking to Andrew make much of a difference?

Then again, seeing Dan and Matt interact with each other was different. Or even Katelyn and Aaron. He still didn’t get what was supposedly so great about romantic relationships but watching Dan and Matt seemingly forgetting the world around them when they were with each other made Neil wonder what it would be like if Andrew would look at him like that.

Somehow, imagining Andrew being the other person in this scenario made it feel like something worthwhile, something good.

With newfound resolution, Neil thought back to the flirting tips and unlocked his phone to read over the short paragraph again.

Look and smile. That didn’t sound too hard.

Sure, Neil usually tried to avoid any and all attention – being noticed had never been a good thing back when he had still lived with his abusive father before his mother had packed their bags and moved across the country – but this seemed simple enough.

Taking a deep breath, Neil looked over at Andrew who was scribbling in his notebook, blond, straight hair falling into his eyes, lips pushed out in concentration. After what felt like several minutes, Andrew stilled in his movements as if sensing that someone was watching him.

Neil felt extremely stupid sitting there and staring at another person but figured that he might as well keep going at this point. Just then, Andrew started to slowly look around the room until his eyes found Neil’s. After an excruciating long beat of silent eye contact, Neil looked down at his notebook.

Taking another deep breath, Neil internally nodded to himself proudly. That hadn’t been so ba—

He hadn’t smiled. Damn it.

Quickly looking up again, he saw that Andrew had already gone back to reading his notes. Annoyed with himself – how hard was it to remember two things? – Neil was about to call it a day with his flirting attempts and try again next lecture when Andrew suddenly looked at him again.

Okay Neil, now or never.

Trying really hard, Neil gave Andrew what he hoped was a natural smile and not a grimace born from smiling so rarely that he barely knew how to do it on the spot.

What had the article said? Confident? Yes, he totally looked confident.

When it became obvious that Andrew would not smile back—in fact, Andrew started narrowing his eyes at him—Neil finally looked back down at his notebook. He decided to count that as a success. After all, the website hadn’t said that the other person had to smile back.

“So, what was that?” Katelyn’s low voice to his left startled Neil. He had almost forgotten that there were people around him, the professor at the front still going on about something or other.

“Hm?”

“You smiled.”

Furrowing his brows at Katelyn, Neil grumbled annoyed. “I smile all the time.”

It was a lie and they both knew it if Katelyn’s raised eyebrow was any indication.

Neil sighed, somehow feeling self-conscious about this… thing – this feelings thing – with Andrew. So, after a short pause, he shrugged and said, “don’t ask.”

“Just… is this going to be a thing?”

“Probably.” Neil shrugged again, not knowing what else to say.

After another beat of silence between the two, Katelyn looked at Neil considering – he wondered what she saw at that moment – and nodded before shifting her focus back to the professor.

Neil, not interested in the class, went back to watching Andrew from the corner of his eye, not trying to get his attention again. Once – well, twice – making eye contact felt like enough for one day.

Step 1: Make eye contact. Done.

Late January

Step 2: Draw attention to your body!

Even before your first conversation, you can say a great deal using just your body language. Smiling and eye contact are part of this, but there are a few other things you should be aware of:

• Keep your stance "open." Don't cross your arms or legs.
• Always turn your body toward your crush.
• Flip your hair. It is a well-recognized flirty action – so if you flip or play with your hair in front of a guy, he'll know you're flirting with him.
• Lick your lips, bite them, apply some lip gloss – anything as long as you do it with an air of nonchalance.
• Play with your jewelry, such as a necklace. It draws attention to your neckline, which many guys find attractive.

Walking from his last lecture to his dorm, Neil stared at the words for so long that his phone screen turned black. Blinking, he shook his head slightly and tapped the screen to wake it up again.

Draw attention to your body.

That sounded very forward. His friends had often complained about his outfits, but he just felt more comfortable in wide jeans and big hoodies. He wanted to argue that how his body looked wasn’t relevant, but his traitorous mind reminded him of Andrew’s shoulders, so maybe looks were somewhat important. And even he could admit that his clothes turned him into a vague gray blob-shaped creature – Allison’s words, not his.

Plus, the website had been right about the looking and the smiling thing – he had been making successful eye contact with Andrew for the past two weeks and while Andrew was still looking at him dubiously, Neil had caught him looking at him first twice.

Katelyn, supportive even though he still hadn’t told her about his plan, had started tapping his arm when she noticed Andrew looking over. She mostly seemed to enjoy Andrew’s confusion but since it served Neil’s purposes, he didn’t say anything about it.

He was also getting better at the smiling thing. It still felt like a grimace most of the time but – after practicing in front of his bathroom mirror – he thought it at least looked normal enough.

Nodding to himself, he decided to trust the website for now and called the only person he could think of when it came to clothes and styling.

Allison picked up on the fourth ring, and before she could say anything – and before Neil could lose his confidence – he said, “I will make your biggest wish come true, but you have to promise that you won’t ask why.”

The line stayed silent for so long that Neil would’ve checked if the call had been interrupted if it wasn’t for the background noises on Allison’s end, soft music and chatter clearly audible through the phone speaker.

“Interesting.”

Not sure what to respond to that, Neil stayed silent to see what Allison would do next.

“I will agree simply because I want to know where you’re going with this.”

“You can take me shopping—"

A short squeal on the other end of the line was the only indication that Allison had heard him despite the noise.

“—and buy me all those horrid clothes you always try to force on me.”

“Wh—"

“You agreed.”

After a beat of silence, Allison huffed out a breath. “Okay, gremlin, I accept your terms. But only because I will figure it out anyway.”

Walking down the corridor toward the doors of his lecture hall where Katelyn was waiting for him, Neil didn’t miss her quick glance at his tight dark jeans – not skinny, thankfully, but much tighter than his usual style – and rolled up sleeves of his dark blue shirt, jacket hanging over one arm. When she raised her eyebrows in question, he didn’t know what to say so he just shrugged.

“You’re really going for it, huh?” She was clearly enjoying herself, if the small smirk was any indication.

Before Neil could respond, though, she already turned away and started looking for two empty seats.

Following Katelyn to the back of the hall, Neil saw Andrew watching him, expression unreadable as his eyes quickly scanned his new outfit.

Neil decided to count it as a success.

Step 2: Draw attention to your body. Done.

Mid-February

Step 3: Put yourself in his path!

If you want someone to feel that you like them (and make them like you back), an easy cheat to do this is to position yourself close to them without seeming intentional. For example, walk past his desk on your way out the door or take your dog to the same park he plays soccer at. Be careful not to overdo this, though, or you'll end up looking like a stalker.

Give yourself an added boost of confidence by looking your very best whenever your crush is around. Because: If you look your best, you'll feel your best—which is essential for successful flirting!

• Keep your hair clean and fresh-smelling, brush your teeth, shave where necessary—anything that makes you feel pretty and puts an extra pep in your step.
• Wear clean, non-wrinkled clothes that you feel comfortable in—you can't go wrong with a nice fitting pair of jeans!
• Try out different hairstyles—experiment with different colors and trends until you find a look that makes you feel good.

Shave where necessary.

Neil wasn’t sure why shaving was an essential task for flirting but since he shaved his face every other day, he figured he could check that box.

Try out different hairstyles.

Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked at his hair in the bathroom mirror and ran a hand through the longer locks on top. Allison always took him to her hair salon, so he doubted he should change anything without consulting her first. So, in his mind, he checked that box as well.

Scrolling back up to step 2, he figured he had been implementing the tips fairly well, if he might say so himself. The thin silver necklace Allison had bought for him, thankfully not commenting on it beyond a raised eyebrow and a considering look, had successfully drawn Andrew’s eyes to his neck just like the website had said it would. And Andrew’s annoyed huffs and glare when Neil had run his fingers through his hair – it wasn’t long enough to be flipped over his shoulder, so he figured running a hand through it was a good alternative – was reaction enough that Neil kept doing it now and then.

Scrolling down, he gave step 3 another read-through as he slowly walked to the bedroom he shared with his roommate and sat down on his bed.

Since he apparently was all set look-wise, it seemed the only challenge was to come across Andrew outside of their shared class. Scratching his head, he stared out of his dorm window across the dark campus. Tomorrow was Tuesday, so he could simply follow Andrew after their lecture. From there it should be easy enough to figure out Andrew’s schedule.

Be careful not to overdo this, though, or you'll end up looking like a stalker.

Neil scoffed at the warning. He wasn’t an amateur. No one ever noticed him, and he planned on once again using his stealth skills to his advantage.

It had taken Neil less than a week to figure out Andrew’s schedule and routes from class to class. Now, sitting in one of the food courts, Katelyn across from him busy scrolling on her phone, Neil was making a rough sketch of possible routes across campus that would let him ‘accidentally’ run into Andrew without making him late to his own classes.

Katelyn humming thoughtfully had Neil looking up, raising his eyebrows. When Katelyn turned her phone screen to him, Neil saw what looked like a social media post showing Aaron and Andrew sitting next to each other. Aaron was looking surprised into the camera while Andrew was turned to the side, looking bored.

"I suppose, Andrew can be considered attractive if you're into… stocky men.” Katelyn turned the phone back around, giving the photo another once-over. “I mean, he’s a bit…,” Katelyn trailed off, tilting her head from left to right. Shrugging, she went back to scrolling on her phone, her comment hanging in the air between them.

"I don't know what that means."

"You know." Katelyn looked back up and puffed out her chest and cheeks, doing one of those weird bodybuilder poses, still holding a fork in her right hand, phone in the left.

"That doesn't help."

Rolling her eyes, Katelyn huffed out the breath she had been holding in. "All I'm saying is, you do you. I'll keep Aaron."

"I take it Aaron is not ‘stocky.’" The air quotes went without saying.

"What? Ugh, Neil. Aaron is... slender, leaner. More athletic, you know? Like you, I guess."

Neil just raised his eyebrows, deciding against even deeming this comparison with a comment.

"Okay, maybe not as athletic as you. But trust me," Katelyn leaned forward and waggled her eyebrows obnoxiously, "he got stamina in all the right ways, if you know what I mean."

Blinking, Neil just stared at Katelyn as she leaned back in her seat and focused on her phone.

"Sex," Neil blurted out loudly when it clicked what Katelyn had meant. "Why would you say that!?"

At the same time, Katelyn was already looking around them and shushing Neil. "What the hell, Neil, yes, that's obviously what I meant."

When she was sure that no one had overheard their conversation, Katelyn went back to her phone, still shaking her head incredulously.

Feeling sudden heat in his cheeks, Neil looked back down at his sketch of possible campus routes.

Why would she even say that?

Another week later, Neil had already settled into his new routes across campus that allowed him to naturally cross paths with Andrew, sometimes catching his eyes and giving him a short nod.

Step 3: Put yourself in his path. Done.

Late February

Step 4: Initiate conversation!

One of the best ways to move the situation along and flirt more openly is to get involved in a conversation with your crush.

Things you should try:

• Introduce yourself—or maintain the mystery (optional). Avoid the urge to have a cheesy pick-up line. Saying "Hi" followed by an introduction or a simple question is much more effective and less forced.
• Crack a joke and make him laugh. In turn, laugh at his jokes. It will make him feel funny, which guys always like.
• Use his name a lot. It's a fact that people love to hear their own name in conversation. Calling your crush by his name will send a tingle up his spine and create a sense of intimacy between you.
• Like their social media posts. It will serve as a simple ‘I’m thinking about you’ – making him think about you, too! – without demanding a response or full-on conversation.
• Show him pictures of dogs. Animals are an easy conversation starter—and who doesn’t like dogs?

Whatever you try first: Always believe that you are someone worth knowing and having fun with. If you honestly believe in yourself, the rest flows naturally.

Have a conversation.

That seemed like a big step. Then again, Katelyn had already asked him when he would finally talk to Andrew, so maybe it only felt sudden to Neil.

(“Will you ever talk to him?” Katelyn had asked after another successful eye contact with Andrew during their math lecture.

“Yes,” had been Neil’s response, hoping Katelyn would drop the subject.

He had decided not to tell her about the website. Thinking back to how she had gotten together with Aaron, he doubted she had followed an intricate 10-step plan. In fact, if he remembered it right, she had stopped in the middle of their lunch, stared at a guy she had just noticed across the food court, and walked up to said guy – Aaron – and asked him out.

Neil could never do that.

One, why would you want to go out with someone you’d only seen once and don’t know anything about? Two, how can you just walk up to someone and ask them on a date? What if you make them uncomfortable with your question? What if they only say yes to get out of the situation?

Neil could never.

In addition, he didn’t see any reason to rush things. After all, he wasn’t going anywhere. And neither was Andrew.

“Okay, when?”

“Not yet.”

After a short beat of silence, Katelyn had actually smiled at Neil. “Okay, Neil, take your time.”

That response had confused Neil more than any nagging would have.)

Introduce yourself. Crack a joke. Use his name.

That all seemed doable. Well, except for the joke. He might need to google one later. But that was okay. He was already following a flirting list from a website, so he might as well use jokes he googled. Right? Right.

Nodding to himself, Neil vowed to sit next to Andrew during their next lecture.

It will send a tingle up his spine and create a sense of intimacy between you.

Taking a deep breath, Neil decided to ignore the odd, churning feeling in his stomach. It was just a conversation. Neil was capable of conversation. It would be fine.

Neil and Katelyn were walking toward their math lecture the next day, both a cup of much needed coffee in hand, when Neil decided to tell Katelyn about his plan to talk to Andrew.

“So.” He wasn’t sure how to go on.

Katelyn looked over at Neil, eyebrow raised. How was Katelyn able to convey so much with such a small gesture? Neil glared at her in annoyance, making Katelyn smirk, raising her other eyebrow as well.

Neil cleared his throat and tried again. “So. I want to talk to Andr—”

“Yes, finally!”

Neil just barely managed not to jump at Katelyn’s outburst. Looking around, he noticed that a couple other students were watching them curiously.

“Okay, calm down, it’s just a conversation.”

“Just a conversation, he says. As if the two of you haven’t been caught in a weird stare-off for the last month and a half.”

“It hasn’t been a month and a half.” It’s only been five weeks and two days. “And it wasn’t a stare-off. It was… friendly eye contact.”

“Friendly. Is that what you’re after?” Katelyn, somehow, managed to raise her eyebrows even further.

“Well, no,” Neil admitted and was promptly rewarded with an eyebrow wiggle from Katelyn.

“I know, Neil, I’m just messing with you.”

“Whatever.” Neil narrowed his eyes at her before focusing on the path again as they approached the doors to their lecture hall. “I just wanted to let you know that we’ll have to sit next to him.”

“Oh man, Aaron is going to—”

“Don’t tell Aaron.”

“You can’t be serious. Why?”

“He’s an ass. And this is just a conversation.”

“And friendly eye contact.”

Neil bumped his shoulder against Katelyn’s. “Shut up,” he mumbled, swallowing hard as they stepped into the lecture hall.

As if sensing his nerves, Katelyn merely bumped his shoulder back.

Neil spotted Andrew already sitting in his usual seat, hunched over his phone. For some reason, Andrew tended to sit alone. Today, that finally came in handy.

Neil started walking over to the empty seats surrounding Andrew, but his nerves had him slow down to almost a crawl. Eyes fixed on Andrew, he felt how Katelyn tried to push him along with a hand on his back, but his feet were no longer cooperating.

Maybe today was too soon. He could try again nex—

“Andrew!” Katelyn’s cheerful voice coming from right next to him startled Neil enough that he finally managed to look away from Andrew. “Are these seats free?”

Before Andrew could say anything, Katelyn was already shoving Neil into the seat to Andrew’s right, causing Andrew’s eyes to snap from Katelyn to Neil, the surprise evident on his face.

“Uhm, hi,” Neil managed to say, his voice weirdly breathy. He could feel his face heating but there was nothing he could do about it. “I’m Neil.”

At that, Andrew blinked and quickly looked to the front where their professor was setting up his laptop. Neil watched as Andrew’s eyes moved down to his notebook, back to the professor.

His lashes were a dark shade of blond, with light curled tips.

Distracted by Andrew suddenly being so close, it took a moment for Neil to notice that Andrew had turned back to him. He looked as if he was surprised that Neil was still there. Maybe the website had gotten it wrong and it was too soon for conversation?

“I know.” Came Andrew’s deep, warm voice.

Or maybe Andrew was okay with conversation.

“Well, that’s good then.” Neil nodded and, bolstered by Andrew answering him – and knowing his name! – he winked. It felt awkward (even though he had practiced it a lot in front of his bathroom mirror) and he almost regretted it as soon as he had done it but then Andrew nodded as well.

“Uh, yeah.” After a moment, Andrew looked back to the front and picked up his pen to copy the professor’s notes.

Neil heard Katelyn next to him coughing quietly but decided to ignore her. Admittedly, it hadn’t been much of a conversation, but he was sitting next to Andrew and he had introduced himself. So, he decided to count that as enough of a success for their first interaction.

And when Andrew responded to his “bye Andrew” (because he remembered that the website had said to use Andrew’s name) after the lecture with a quiet “uhm, yeah, bye Neil”, Neil knew he wouldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.

He didn’t even care about Katelyn’s teasing.

On Thursday, Neil had sat next to Andrew again. So far, they hadn’t talked aside from hello and bye, but that was fine. Neil wasn’t a fan of small talk and clearly Andrew wasn’t either, so he didn’t mind that they had yet to have an actual conversation. Much more important was getting to experience sitting next to Andrew.

Neil liked how organized he always was (in stark contrast to Neil’s messy desk with pens and loose papers being thrown about) and how his movements always seemed deliberate and intentional. It was somehow very relaxing.

Andrew also sometimes hummed when he agreed or disagreed with the professor or mumbled the answers to the professor’s questions. At first, Neil thought Andrew wasn’t aware that he was doing it, but almost all his answers were wrong, so Neil wondered if maybe Andrew meant it as a joke and expected Neil to join in.

Now, sitting on his bed – his roommate thankfully gone for the weekend to visit his family – Neil saw the long weekend ahead of him without any Andrew interactions. (And yes, saying hello and bye did in fact count as interactions.)

He scrolled through twitter, considering starting a war with a fandom or other, moved on to check the messages he had received from his friends throughout the day and finally went to the website with the flirting tips, the tab still open since he had first come across it at the beginning of the year.

Like their social media posts.

Wrinkling his nose, he shrugged and eventually looked over his apps before settling on Instagram. After navigating to Katelyn’s colorful profile, he scrolled through her followers until he found Aaron. From there it was easy enough to find Andrew.

Neil wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting but it sure wasn’t rows of photos of either a small orange cat or of cakes and pastries. He knew that Andrew and Aaron, together with their cousin Nicky, lived off-campus in their own apartment, but he hadn’t known that they owned a cat. Or that Andrew baked?

Scattered in between were photos of constructions that were probably from one of Andrew’s engineering classes. And even rarer were photos of sunsets, or maybe sunrises, Neil couldn’t be sure which one.

Scrolling back to the top, Neil clicked on the latest post. It showed the cat sitting on Andrew’s chest while he was lying on what looked like a couch.

Shrugging once, Neil tapped the heart and quickly closed the app.

That hadn’t been too nerve-wracking.

Maybe he should like another post?

A simple ‘I’m thinking about you’ without demanding a response.

Or maybe one post was enough.

Taking a deep breath, Neil looked out the window at the white fluffy clouds covering a bright blue sky. Not wanting to come across as too pushy, he locked his phone and set it on his nightstand.

Trying to get his mind off Andrew, he decided to do laundry rather than sit around until he could leave for his lacrosse game later this afternoon.

When his phoned pinged an hour later with a notification from Instagram, Neil stared at his phone in surprise.

a_dobson liked your photo – 1 minute ago

Tapping on the notification, he saw that Andrew had liked one of his lacrosse photos. Neil hadn’t known that Andrew liked lacrosse – he rarely came to watch Nicky’s games – but it made Neil smile, nonetheless.

Another successful interaction, Neil thought as he nodded to himself.

The website had said to show Andrew photos of dogs, but how was Neil supposed to do that when he didn’t know anyone with a dog? Somehow, he doubted that he could just google dogs and show Andrew the search results.

Furrowing his brows in thought, he jogged past the school pond on his daily route around campus. Just then, he noticed several ducks crowded in one corner of the pond.

Humming to himself, Neil slowed down. Dogs were animals, right? It probably didn’t matter what animal he showed to Andrew.

Getting his phone out, he quietly made his way closer to the edge of the pond.

“Look what I saw on my morning run,” Neil quickly recited the sentence he had practiced all morning. Holding up his phone so Andrew could see it better, he swiped right onto a zoomed in shot of a particularly big duck.

“Uhm,” Andrew paused, “is that the school pond?”

“Yeah, in the botanical garden,” Neil responded relieved, glad that the photo had worked as promised. Animals apparently really were a great conversation starter. Who knew.

“And you run there every morning?”

“Uh, yeah, why?” Neil swiped again, this time landing on three ducks who had been huddled together. Personally, Neil didn’t see the appeal, but he supposed animals could be enjoyable to look at.

“It’s just,” Andrew paused again, “that’s pretty far from the dorms, isn’t it?”

“Oh,” Neil looked at Andrew – he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to look at the ducks for the whole conversation or if it was okay to look at Andrew instead but couldn’t help himself either way. “I mean, I jog around the entire campus, so it’s on my way anyway.”

Andrew had already been looking at Neil. Usually, Neil didn’t like it when people were too focused on him, but with Andrew he had realized he actually enjoyed it. The feeling was new and unfamiliar, but not in a bad way.

Returning the eye contact, Neil noted absentmindedly that Andrew looked really nice today. His hair was an artfully tousled mess as always (somehow Andrew seemed the type to style this look intentionally unlike Neil who was a lost cause most days when it came to his hair), his outfit the familiar combination of a dark long-sleeved shirt and black pants.

Looking at Andrew’s warm brown eyes, the fluorescent light of the lecture hall making the color look more hazel than honey, Neil had to smile at the thought that he was already familiar with Andrew’s eye color.

“Uhm,” Andrew blinked and quickly looked at the professor at the front before looking down at his notebook and tugging on the collar of his shirt. “Did you know that ducks actually have highly waterproof feathers? Even when they dive underwater, the downy underlayer of their feathers right next to the skin will stay completely dry.”

Andrew ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it further. Neil followed the movement, watching as Andrew’s hair fell back in place and somehow looked even better than before.

He wondered what Andrew’s hair felt like.

Blinking away that unexpected thought, he quickly answered, “That’s cool, I didn’t know that.”

Andrew thankfully did not mention Neil’s slightly too long pause and instead merely hummed and picked up his pencil to copy more information from the blackboard at the front into his notebook.

Happy with their conversation, Neil checked another box on his imaginary list.

Step 4: Initiate conversation. Done.

Early March

Step 5: Don’t be boring!

Texting is a great way to become part of your crush’s daily life; and once things really get going and you feel more comfortable with your texting, you can start to heat things up a little – dropping not-so-subtle hints that you're interested in being more than friends.

• Play it safe at first - there's no need to be too racy, you just need to give him the idea that you want to be with him. Something cute like "I'm just about to watch a scary movie – wish you were here to stop me from being too scared!"
• If he responds in the same flirty tone, you can feel safe to continue. Try paying him a flirty compliment by saying something like "I can't stop thinking about how great your arms looked in that shirt today."
• If you want to get a little racier, you could try being even more suggestive. For instance, if he texts you but you don't reply for at least half an hour you could say something like "Sorry, I was in the shower..." His mind will do the rest.
• A picture text can be a fun alternative way to communicate and also ensures that your crush has a picture of you on his phone. For example, text him a picture of yourself lying on the couch and write "Bored. Entertain me?"

You can start to heat things up a little.

What did that even mean?

I can't stop thinking about how great your arms looked in that shirt today.

Well, Andrew’s arms had looked good yesterday. But they always looked good. Maybe there were days where they looked particularly good? Neil would have to pay better attention, he thought, nodding to himself as he scrolled through the paragraph on his phone.

I was in the shower. His mind will do the rest.

What rest? What would Andrew care if Neil was in the shower? Neil showered every day and he assumed Andrew did too, so the information seemed unnecessary. He scratched his head, wondering once again if he should ask Allison or Katelyn about this.

Reluctantly, he went to Allison’s contact and hit dial.

“Neil!”

There was shouting in the background, maybe even live music, Neil wasn’t sure. Either way, the contrast to him sitting on his bed on a Friday night was painfully obvious.

“Hi Allison, am I interrupting something?”

“No, wait.” After a moment, he could hear a door close, muffling the loud noises to nothing but a low hum. “What’s up?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your evening.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just out with friends. You can always join us, you know.”

Neil did know. But he just didn’t feel like being in a crowd unless he absolutely had to.

“Plus, you rarely ever call me, so this must be important. Spill.”

“Uhm, it’s not important, actually,” Neil said, not sure why he suddenly felt self-conscious. “I was just wondering if there is a way to text someone when you don’t have their phone number.”

There was a short silence before Allison broke it. “Interesting.”

“What do you mean?” Neil furrowed his brows. Had it been a stupid question?

“Nothing, it’s just interesting that you want to text someone. Want to share with the class who this person is?”

“You’re not in class, though.”

Neil could practically feel Allison’s eyeroll.

“Don’t be a smartass. Who’s the lucky one? Maybe I have the number, that would solve your problem.”

“Huh.” Neil hadn’t thought of that. He could probably ask Katelyn for Andrew’s number. But she might have to ask Aaron. Just thinking about the chain of people involved made Neil feel slightly nervous. “Is there another way other than asking someone for the number?”

“Hm, I see, what do I get for telling you?”

Neil narrowed his eyes at the wall in his room in lieu of Allison. “What do you want?”

“Tomorrow, after your game, first shopping, then bar.”

With a huff, Neil accepted his fate. “Fine. Now tell me.”

“You go on their social media profile and send them a DM.”

“A DM.”

After several beats of silence – Neil wasn’t sure if it was incredulity or judgment – Allison took mercy on him and explained slowly how to send a direct message on Instagram.

Once they had hung up and Neil had successfully navigated to an empty screen where he apparently could send Andrew a message, he halted.

What was he supposed to message Andrew? It’s not as if their conversations had reached riveting levels. Although he did count the moment when he had finally been able to tell the joke he had memorized and Andrew’s resulting huff as a major milestone in their conversation history.

(Katelyn’s quiet “Oh my God” had gone ignored, of course.)

Not able to come up with something to say he decided on plan b from the website: a photo.

A photo was easy enough. Right? Right.

15 minutes and a handful of terrible photos later, he was glad that at least his roommate wasn’t there to witness this embarrassing moment.

Maybe he was being too critical?

Then again, he had seen the photos on Andrew’s Instagram and he looked good in all of them, so Neil figured his worries were at least somewhat justified.

Once he had tentatively decided on a photo he had taken while sitting at his desk, his bed and wall in the background, he texted Matt for a second opinion.

After all, Matt tended to bombard him with photos of gift ideas for Dan so it was only fair that he would now return the favor.

“Don’t show Dan.” His first text was quickly followed by the photo. And, “how do I look?”

The checkmarks turned blue right away, so Matt must’ve seen the photo. But it took almost a minute before he finally responded.

Matt: Really good

Neil wasn’t sure what had taken Matt so long but decided not to question it.

Neil: Thanks Matt

Matt: Sure buddy

This time the response had come right away. Then, after a moment:

Matt: Anything else you want to ask?

Not seeing any need to text back, Neil switched to Instagram. Not knowing what to say, he simply went with the website’s suggestion and sent off his photo along with the short “Bored, entertain me?” text.

As soon as the photo had gone through, he quickly closed the app and tried not to worry too much about it.

The photo had been fine.

Rolling his shoulders, he got up and walked aimlessly through their tiny dorm apartment that consisted of nothing but their shared bedroom, a small kitchen counter and an even smaller bathroom.

Before he knew it, he was back at his desk, phone in hand.

Unable to resist, he checked the chat with Andrew and saw a small “seen” checkmark below his message, probably indicating that Andrew had seen his message.

No response, though.

Furrowing his brows, he wondered if he had done something wrong.

No, the website had said this was a good idea and Allison seemed to think it was normal to message people. And Matt had said the photo looked good.

Locking the phone, he went on another tour around his apartment. At some point he started cleaning his side of the bedroom, organized his desk and even folded all the washed laundry before putting it into his wardrobe.

His attention snapped to his phone, though, when a notification sound went off that he wasn’t familiar with.

Sure enough, Andrew had answered him.

Suddenly nervous, Neil quickly opened the app and looked at what seemed to be a kitchen counter covered in bowls and flour and all kinds of baking utensils.

Another photo came through, this time of one perfect cupcake. It seemed to be chocolate with white frosting on top.

Grinning at the screen and before he could think twice about his response, he quickly texted back:

@nhatford10: All that work for one cupcake? That seems excessive.

When there was no response, Neil wondered if maybe his answer had been too rude – Dan had told him repeatedly that his sarcasm was too strong for people to understand that he was joking.

Neil kept staring at his phone, nibbling on his bottom lip. Maybe he should explain that he had meant it as a joke?

Just then, a photo of an entire tray of cupcakes came through, making Neil’s shoulders slump in relief.

@a_dobson: It’s Nicky’s birthday tomorrow.

Quickly sitting down on his bed, Neil pulled his knees close to his chest and pressed his face against his thighs as he took several deep breaths, trying to bring his smile under control.

Andrew was answering him. And sending him photos.

@nhatford10: I’m sure Nicky will be very happy

Thinking about Nicky, Neil didn’t think he had ever seen him being anything else than happy, so it was an easy enough assumption to make.

@a_dobson: He better.

Reading the words and imagining Andrew’s low drawl, Neil grinned at his screen.

By the time he went to bed that night, he had found out that Nicky had asked for a gaming marathon, that Erik and Aaron would have to do the cleaning but Andrew had already taken care of the dishes, that Andrew tolerated Charlotte Bronte but detested Shakespeare, and that Andrew was about to fall asleep but had promised Nicky to stay up until midnight.

Burrying his face in his pillow, his cheeks hurting from smiling so much after the last couple hours, Neil decided that it had been a good evening.

With a quiet scoff, he couldn’t believe that Allison had wanted him to join her at a bar.

What a waste of time that would’ve been, Neil thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep.

Step 5: Don’t be boring. Done.

Mid-March

Step 6: Make him a compliment

Compliments make people feel special and that is exactly how you want the object of your infatuation to feel! Here are some techniques to try:

• Be specific. The more specific you are, the more personal the compliment will be.
• When giving the compliment, lean in close and lower your voice slightly. This makes the compliment seem intimate and secret.
• Make eye contact while you give the compliment and keep smiling slightly. This will highlight your sincerity and show him that you're genuinely impressed.

Tips for advanced flirting: focus between his eyes and lips. When you couple this tip with a slightly open mouth, it’s very effective. Take a second nice, long look, and moisten your lips with the tip of your tongue and voila! You’re the focus of his attention now.

Focus between his eyes and lips.

Did that mean he should look at the nose? Neil supposed Andrew had a nice nose. It was straight, small and a bit rounded. Still, Neil had never heard of looking at noses while flirting.

A quick Google search told him that, apparently, he was supposed to move his eyes from Andrew’s eyes to his lips and back. That seemed slightly more reasonable than staring at his nose, so Neil decided to try that first. Looking at Andrew’s nose could be his plan b.

Reading over the paragraph again, he got stuck at the words intimate and secret. Neil absentmindedly scratched his head as he walked to his next lecture, thinking about leaning close into Andrew’s space and giving him an intimate and secret compliment.

What even was an intimate and secret compliment?

Rolling his shoulders to get rid of the tension, he locked his phone and shoved it into his pocket. Why was this so difficult? Last semester had been much more enjoyable. He had merely watched Andrew from a distance, not worrying about jokes and compliments and what not.

After three days of brainstorming for a not-too-general compliment, Neil was on his way to the library where he knew Andrew was currently working his shift.

Thankfully, Andrew had told him yesterday that he worked at the college library, so Neil wouldn’t have to pretend to be surprised at seeing Andrew there.

Well, Neil thought to himself, Andrew hadn’t told him his exact shift times, but Neil figured that could believably be attributed to coincidence.

While walking up the steps to the library, Neil kept repeating the compliment he had carefully prepared.

“I really like that shirt, it looks good on you. I really like that shirt, it looks good on you. I really like that shirt, it looks good on you.”

Taking a deep breath, he tried to ignore the little voice at the back of his head, somehow sounding like Allison, that told him that the compliment was too unimaginative, too lame. Rolling his shoulders, he told himself that it was too late now and that he clearly wouldn’t come up with something better anytime soon.

Neil had even tried the compliment on Matt (without the long eye contact the website suggested, though, that was only for Andrew) and he had seemed to like it. Or at least, he hadn’t hated it.

“I really like that shirt, it looks good on you,” he muttered once more to himself as he reached the building doors. “Look in his eyes, look at his lips, smile. Don’t look at his nose, unless Andrew does it first.”

Taking a deep breath, Neil pulled open the heavy door and stepped inside. Immediately, he spotted Andrew at the counter. Unfortunately, Aaron was sitting next to him.

He probably would’ve turned around – he did not need an audience for this – but Andrew had looked up when the door had fallen shut behind Neil, his eyes widening slightly upon recognizing him.

Walking up to the counter, Neil was painfully aware of Aaron’s annoyed look. How could Aaron possibly be annoyed when they had never interacted before aside from walking past each other during Neil and Andrew’s ‘accidental run-ins’ on campus?

With a last steadying breath, Neil figured this was happening one way or another, so he put on a smile that hopefully looked normal and leaned his elbows on the counter, ignoring Aaron.

“Hi Andrew, didn’t know you worked today.”

Andrew blinked at him once, the silence only somewhat awkward. “Yeah, I’m working.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Aaron shifting in his seat but tried to keep his focus on Andrew.

“Okay, cool.” Neil leaned further over the counter – why was this thing so high? “I wanted to check out a book on systems programming, can you maybe see if it’s currently available?”

“If it’s not on the shelf then it’s not availa—” Andrew paused for a moment while both he and Aaron shifted around behind the counter. “Or I can check the system, yeah I can do that.”

“Perfect.” Neil could feel his smile relaxing. This was going better than expected.

“What’s the name of the book?”

Neil quickly gave Andrew the title and author, knowing full well that Katelyn was currently in possession of that particular book after checking it out yesterday – after all, it had been Katelyn’s idea for Neil to visit Andrew at his job. According to her, ‘libraries are always quiet, so you won’t be interrupted.’

The plan had clearly not included Aaron.

“It’s… uhm, it’s not available. Someone checked it out just yesterday.”

“Oh, well that’s okay, I’ll try again in a couple weeks.”

Andrew finally looked up from the computer screen, running a hand through his hair, and picked up a pen from his side of the counter, twirling it around his fingers in a repetitive motion.

Neil’s eyes followed the quick and deft movements of Andrew’s hands.

They looked bigger than Neil’s. Strong.

Neil decided he liked them.

Looking back up at Andrew, they easily locked eyes.

Now or never.

Neil slowly leaned further over the counter, putting more weight on his elbows so he could slightly lift himself up on his tiptoes to reach further toward Andrew.

Remembering the eye thing, he quickly looked at Andrew’s lips – which were full and slightly open and to be honest, Neil wanted to look at them for much longer – and back to Andrew’s eyes.

They had tiny gold and green specks dotting the warm brown that dominated the iris.

Pretty, Neil thought absently, too distracted by his racing heart, making it hard to breathe normally.

“I really like that shirt, it looks good on you,” Neil finally whispered, feeling even more stupid now than he had been while practicing at home.

With Andrew’s wide eyes on him, Neil couldn’t remember what he was supposed to do after giving the compliment, so he just leaned back and hastily left the library after a quick “I’ll see you next week.”

Outside, Neil rolled his shoulders several times and ran a hand through his hair. That had been excruciating. And on top, he didn’t even know what Andrew was thinking now since he had run off before he could respond.

Unsure if he had just completely embarrassed himself or not, Neil started to walk toward Dan and Matt’s, so they could take his mind off Andrew and his stupidly pretty eyes and his deep voice and his everything.

Just then, his phone started vibrating in his pocket. Katelyn.

“How did it go?!”

“Hey Katelyn.”

“Shut up, how did it go? Was he there? Did you tell him?”

Katelyn had been excited about this ever since Neil had asked for her help three days ago. Maybe she could tell him if he had made a mistake by walking off so quickly.

“Well, I walked in.”

“Good.”

“And he was at the counter.”

“Perfect.”

“And so was Aaron.

“Goo—wait, why? I thought he had a study session this afternoon.”

“I don’t know, Katelyn, but he was there, giving me the death glare.”

“Oh please, Aaron is incapable of a real death glare.”

“Well, he was certainly trying his hardest. I ignored him.”

“Smart. What happened then?”

“I asked for the book and Andrew checked, and it wasn’t available.”

“Great.”

“Yes.”

“And then?”

Neil groaned, embarrassed all over again.

“Oh my God, Neil, you did it. Right? You sound embarrassed.” Katelyn whisper-shouted gleefully. “I love this so much.”

“You are a mean woman.”

“Shut up, what did you say to him?”

“You know what I told him,” Neil finally said. “That his shirt looked nice.”

“Ah perfect!” He could practically see Katelyn fist bumping the air. “So, it worked out. What was he wearing?”

“Uh…”

“Neil, no.”

“It was a dark shirt,” Neil settled on, feeling the judgment coming through his phone.

“Neil, please tell me you didn’t just compliment him on his clothes without even looking at them.”

“It was definitely a dark one.”

“Oh Neil.”

“What, did you expect me to spontaneously change the compliment we worked on for three days depending on his actual outfit?”

“It was literally the first thing I said when you asked me for suggestions.”

“And then we perfected it for three days.”

Neil could hear Katelyn taking a deep breath through the phone. “Sure, Neil. And I’m sure it was a nice shirt, it’s Andrew after all.”

Neil didn’t know what that was supposed to mean but didn’t want to ask in case it was a stupid question.

“So, what happened then?”

“I left.”

“No, I mean before that, what did Andrew say.”

“I don’t know. I just told him that I like his shirt, which was definitely dark, and then I, uh, left.”

He wasn’t sure how to interpret the silence on the other end. It probably wasn’t good. “Was that wrong?”

“No no, Neil,” Katelyn said quickly, probably sensing his nerves. “I was just surprised, but I mean, there is no right and wrong in flirting, you know? I’m sure it’s fine.”

Neil groaned. He knew it. He had looked like a complete idiot in front of Andrew. “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“No, I mean it.” Katelyn ignored Neil’s whining and instead barreled on, “Neil, listen, I am sure it was fine. Andrew is a very quiet person, so he probably wouldn’t have said anything even if you had stayed and then it would’ve resulted in an awkward silence. So, it was probably for the best that you left.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, Neil, I think so.”

“Okay, can we please pretend this didn’t happen because I am actually absolutely mortified.”

“Sure, Neil.” Katelyn’s laughter and easy acceptance made Neil feel slightly less tense. “I’ll see you on Monday?”

After saying goodbye, Neil pocketed his phone and walked the last couple blocks to Dan and Matt’s place.

Step 6: Make him a compliment. Done.

Early April

Step 7: Break the touch barrier

Casually initiate physical contact by touching him on the forearm as you talk, or by ‘accidentally’ walking too close and brushing up against him. You can also sit beside him and try to make your legs touch subtly while keeping a conversation going.

Try doing it in these ways:

• When he makes a funny joke, reach your hand out and touch his arm while you're laughing. Alternatively, you can do this as a form of playful or genuine consolation.
• If our hands are in close proximity, try to make contact. Not grab his hand but tap it a little.
• ‘Accidentally’ lean into him if you're walking together. If you're already flirty and you want to move things to the next level, brush your hand against his and see how he reacts.
• Another sneaky tactic you can use to touch your crush is to tell him that his tie is crooked, so you can lean in to fix it. Stand squarely in front of him so you're face to face, then casually brush your fingers against his neck as you adjust his tie. When you're done, look him in the eyes and say "that's better!" before taking a step back.

Reading through the paragraph, Neil breathed a sigh of relief. Finally a step that was happening naturally – ever since Neil had started sitting next to Andrew in their shared class, their elbows bumped gently against each other quite often and it would be easy enough for Neil to move his leg a bit further to the left for a barely-there contact.

All in all, things were going quite smoothly. They were talking more, going even so far as walking out of the lecture hall together still in easy conversation either about the lecture or Neil’s and Nicky’s next game or Andrew’s latest baking projects. Even better, they were still texting. Neil’s phone had slowly filled up with photos of Andrew’s cat, his room and, now and then, even a selfie of Andrew.

He sometimes wondered if Andrew kept the photos of him. He hoped so.

So, yes. Things were going well indeed.

However, looking over the paragraph again, he felt that this step probably asked for more progress than just bumping elbows.

Tell him that his tie is crooked, so you can lean in to fix it.

Neil thought this scenario was similar to the compliment one, which, looking at it in hindsight, hadn’t been a complete disaster. He could swear Andrew was wearing the shirt from the library more often. Sure, most of his clothes were on the darker color spectrum, so Neil couldn’t be entirely sure it was the same shirt, but he also couldn’t say with certainty that it wasn’t.

The point is: Neil was open for another excruciating moment if it made Andrew more comfortable around him.

Lean in, adjust the tie, leave. It sounded easy enough, even for Neil. The only problem was that Andrew didn’t wear ties.

Looking across the cafeteria table at Katelyn, who was currently staring at her phone and blindly shoveling broccoli in her mouth, Neil figured she had helped him with the compliment, so he might as well ask her again.

“Hypothetically speaking, how do you adjust someone’s tie if that person doesn’t wear one?”

Surprised, Katelyn looked up from her phone to Neil, fork momentarily forgotten in mid-air, and asked around a piece of broccoli, “Why do you want to adjust Andrew’s tie?”

Neil quickly looked around them, shushing Katelyn. “It was a hypothetical question. No one is adjusting anyone’s tie.”

Katelyn swallowed the mouthful of broccoli and nodded once, very slowly. “Right. Because in that hypothetical scenario the hypothetical adjustee doesn’t have a tie that the hypothetical adjuster could adjust. Hypothetically.”

Neil just glared at her, but it had zero effect. In fact, it just made her amused smile turn into a full-on smirk.

“I’m joking, relax.” Katelyn put her fork down, locked her phone, and gave Neil her full attention. “You do realize that this is all very weird, right?”

“Right.” Neil furrowed his brows in confusion but didn’t want to ask why it was weird. Sure, the website looked tacky, but the steps seemed to work, so he didn’t see why they would be considered weird.

Katelyn just rolled her eyes, no explanation forthcoming.

“Okay,” Katelyn finally said, voice all business. “Question one, does it have to be a tie? Or could it be any other item of clothing that needs hypothetical adjustment?”

They had finally settled on a strap of a backpack. The strategy was easy enough: they would walk out of the lecture hall, Katelyn would make sure to leave quickly and then Neil would work his magic (Katelyn’s words, not Neil’s).

Easy. Neil totally got this.

At least, that’s what he kept telling himself all throughout their next math lecture, Andrew once again on his left, Katelyn on his right.

Five minutes before the end of the lecture, he could feel his heartbeat speeding up and his palms sweating like crazy. He couldn’t even take deep breaths since that would certainly look strange to Andrew.

Looking over at him, he saw that Andrew was doodling a big question mark in the margins of his notebook next to one of the rules the professor had explained today.

Andrew must’ve noticed him looking since he raised his eyebrows questioningly.

Neil shrugged but leaned in anyway, enjoying their close proximity with their shoulders touching, and whispered, “Hard at work, hm?”

Andrew scoffed (which Neil counted as a laugh) before pointing at Neil’s own doodles with his pen. “Glass house, Neil, you’re sitting in one.”

Neil just grinned, earning him another huff. Seeing Andrew’s relaxed shoulders and slow motion of his pen across the paper managed to calm Neil’s nerves enough that he didn’t jump up and run off as soon as the professor ended the lecture.

Packing up, Neil nodded at Katelyn as she excused herself with an imploring look at Neil and walked off to leave Neil and Andrew alone.

“Everything okay?”

“Hm?” Neil looked back at Andrew who had already zipped up and put on his backpack. Quickly collecting his pens and shoving his papers into his bag, Neil followed Andrew out of the lecture hall. “Yeah, she’s just a bit stressed because of a term paper.”

Andrew merely hummed, but Neil didn’t mind. He liked that Andrew didn’t have the need to always fill silences with talking.

While Neil was still thinking whether he could wipe of his sweaty palms on his pants without Andrew noticing, Andrew already turned toward him, probably to say bye.

Not wanting to miss his chance – and he was not going to go through another lecture psyching himself out about this – Neil quickly stepped forward, right into Andrew’s space. “Wait, Andrew, your backpack.”

Andrew looked surprised but didn’t move away, which Neil figured was a good sign.

“Here, let me…,” trailing off, Neil slowly reached for Andrew’s backpack as if to righten the strap. Since the strap was already sitting perfectly on Andrew’s shoulder, he merely lifted it for a quick second before setting it back down again.

He really hoped that no one had seen him do that.

Looking back at Andrew, now only a few inches away from Neil, he couldn’t help but get caught up in Andrew’s warm, inviting eyes for a moment.

“Uh, thanks.”

Andrew’s deep voice managed to wake Neil up from his stupor and he hastily stepped back, adding, “There, that’s better.”

They kept staring at each other for another beat until Neil remembered that he had to get to his next lecture. With a quick goodbye, he turned around and speed-walked down the corridor and around a corner where Katelyn was already waiting for him.

“And?”

“I just touched his perfectly fine backpack strap and pretended to adjust it,” Neil blurted out, wide-eyed.

Katelyn whooped quietly and fist-bumped the air before linking arms with Neil and dragging him to their next lecture.

Step 7: Break the touch barrier. Done.

Mid-April

Step 8: Stay memorable

You want him to think about you even when you’re not around, so make sure to stick out from the other people in his life! You can try these things:

• Do something nice for him. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, a nice gesture is often enough to get his attention. For example, try picking up his bag and handing it over to him or holding the door open for him.
• Bring him food. Providing your man with his favorite snack will ensure you a place in his heart.
• Dance with him. Dancing with a guy is a fun way to show him that you're into him, without being too serious. Make it very obvious that you're choosing to dance with him. Grab his hands and pull him away from the group. If he goes with you willingly, you'll know that he's into it.

The suggestions seemed easy enough. So, Neil started unnecessarily handing Andrew his own backpack from in between their feet (Neil didn’t understand why that would be considered flirting, but Andrew got flustered every time he did it, so it was clearly doing something) and made sure to hold open the door for both Katelyn and Andrew when they walked out of their lecture.

He managed to get to the door first most of the time but sometimes Andrew was faster and—

And Neil realized that it felt nice when Andrew held the door for him. It was such a small and inconsequential gesture and yet, it made Neil feel warm and weird inside knowing Andrew was looking after him.

Who knew.

Wanting to try out more of those small gestures the website talked about, Neil thought back to the day he had first found the list and had asked Matt what he would think about being given food from Neil.

Bringing Andrew food, however, was not as easy as it had seemed at first. Because, even though Neil could roughly narrow the choices down to a pastry, Neil had no idea what was what when it came to anything that required an oven to prepare.

Standing on the lacrosse field, thoughts stuck on cakes and cupcakes as he watched some of his teammates collecting balls and cones, his eyes landed on Nicky who was currently standing to the side, checking the mesh on his stick.

Well, why make it complicated when he could just ask? After all, if anyone would know Andrew’s favorite food it would be his family, right?

Neil quickly walked across campus, holding the small, folded box with a single cupcake from the local bakery inside – Nicky had been sure that this was Andrew’s favorite even though his description had been somewhat vague – carefully in both his hands to not shake the content too much.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted Andrew walking on the other side of the lawn, Aaron by his side. Aware that his own lecture started in less than 15 minutes on the opposite side of campus, Neil took a deep breath and made his way over to the two brothers.

He could tell the moment when they noticed him and, again, when they realized that he didn’t just nod or wave while walking past them – like he usually did on his ‘accidental run-ins’ – but actually walked up to them.

Looking confused but thankfully not annoyed, Andrew greeted Neil with a quiet “Uh, hi Neil?” as Neil walked up to them.

Ignoring Aaron’s glare, Neil focused on Andrew and, before he could lose his nerve, held out the small box to Andrew.

“Uhm, what is this?”

Neil couldn’t pinpoint Andrew’s mood from the low tone of his voice, so he figured to just roll with it.

Following Google’s advice, he threw out a “Made me think of you!” along with what was hopefully a ‘winning smile’. (The difference to the ‘normal smile’ was the amount of teeth you showed. At least according to Google.)

Aaron’s quiet “what the fuck” went ignored as Andrew broke eye contact to take in the small box in Neil’s hands. Slowly, as if unsure whether he wanted to touch it, he reached out and took the package.

Once rid of the box, Neil bounced on his feet and, with nothing else to say, waved at the two of them and walked back from where he came from.

Step 8: Stay memorable. Done.

Late April

Step 9: Stick to one!

Never play the jealousy game involving another person. Maybe the one you like is across the room, so you flirt with another person. Or you make the one who likes you jealous mercilessly.

These are games better left to younger, less mature folks. You are better than that.

Also, don’t pretend to merely care. Stick the quick scans to everyone else; to the person you want to impress, you want to really look at them. See the effort they put into their outfit or their hair, or the impressive things they talk about, and let them know that you’ve noticed.

Be sure to branch out to more serious conversation rather than sticking to superficial small talk – after all, you want to really get to know him. and in turn, you should give him the chance to get to know the real you!

Lying on his bed, his roommate’s desk lamp the only light in the room as he was studying for a test the next day, Neil furrowed his brows at his phone screen. That was a stupid step. Why would he want to talk to anyone else? That didn’t make any sense.

Shrugging, he checked off that step and was about to move on to step 10 when his eyes drifted back up to step 8.

Dance with him.

Two weeks ago, he had rolled his eyes at that suggestion but—

Humming to himself, he supposed it would be nice to have some alone time with Andrew. Not dancing – he didn’t dance – but having Andrew’s attention all to himself? That did sound nice.

Scrolling mindlessly up and down his screen while staring at nothing in particular, he thought about Andrew walking into the lecture hall, with his broad shoulders and relaxed yet confident walk, sitting close enough that Neil could smell his aftershave and see every little facial movement as Andrew listened to their professor or wrote something down. How his lips moved the tiniest bit into a pout and his eyes squinted as if he had trouble reading the text on the blackboard. The way his hands would run through his hair and tug on the hem of his shirt.

Ever since the moment in the library, Neil couldn’t stop watching Andrew’s hands during class.

At first, he had thought it was odd, but Google said liking hands was a thing, so he figured it was fine.

In fact, people on the internet almost seemed obsessed with thinking about what hands felt on their skin, which was a really strange thought in Neil’s opinion. Then again, he supposed Andrew’s hands would feel nice on his sk—

His phone started ringing, startling him into almost dropping it on his face. Quickly looking around, he saw that his roommate was still leaning over his desk, headphones on.

Looking back at his phone, he quickly accepted the call when Matt’s name finally registered in his preoccupied brain.

And regretted it about one minute later.

“I promise it’s going to be awesome, everyone will be there.”

“Matt, you know I don’t like parties.”

“I know buddy, but I heard others from the lacrosse team are going, and the track team, and a bunch of other athletes, so you basically already know everyone.”

Neil was about to decline again – it’s not that he had better things to do next Saturday since lacrosse season was over, he just didn’t feel like standing around being forced to engage in small talk while around him everyone was getting drunk – when a thought popped into his head.

“Do you know who is going from the lacrosse team?”

“I’m not sure but I think Kevin, Jean, Nicky, Ja—”

“Uh, yeah, okay, I’ll go,” Neil quickly answered, hoping he didn’t sound too eager.

“Really? Yes! Awesome, we’ll go there at around 10. You want to meet before or—”

“No, let’s meet there.”

“Sure buddy, ok, well I’m really excited that you’re coming.”

“Uh, yeah, me too, Matt.”

After saying goodbye, Neil ended the call and placed his phone screen-down on his chest and spread his arms and legs out across the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

He hoped Andrew would tag along with his cousin. Neil didn’t really go out much, so he wasn’t sure if Andrew was a frequent party-goer.

Stretching his arms over his head until his back made a satisfying pop, Neil thought about maybe seeing Andrew on Saturday.

Grab his hands and pull him away from the group.

Smiling at the image of him taking Andrew’s hand and walking somewhere more quiet, away from other people, Neil drifted off to sleep.

Dropping his backpack next to his desk, Neil sat down heavily in his desk chair, staring at the wall for a moment.

His roommate was preparing dinner in the kitchen, having asked Neil if he wanted to eat together.

They rarely did anything together but now and then they managed to coordinate breakfast or dinner and at least tried to have a conversation.

Neil didn't see the need, but Dan had said it would be good for him and his roommate seemed to enjoy it.

Taking a deep breath, he thought about his meeting with his asshole advisor today. He had hoped to convince him of a normal 4-year track but, once again, had no luck.

He just didn’t think he needed the extra year. As it was, he was ahead of his curriculum despite lacrosse and honor classes.

Deep down, of course, Neil knew that four years for his curriculum was ambitious. And there was no pressure to finish within four years since his scholarships allowed for a one-year extension. And it wasn’t as if he had anything waiting for him past his graduation.

And another year on campus didn’t sound completely terrible.

He had always thought so, of course. It had nothing to do with the possibility of Andrew also studying for an extra year.

That would just be a nice bonus.

Nodding to himself, Neil huffed out a laugh as he thought back to his run-in with Andrew today. He couldn't believe he had told Andrew about his majors. He never talked about these things. He wasn't even sure if Dan and Matt knew about any of it.

It simply felt like too much pressure if people knew about the requirements he had to fulfill – credits, GPA, attendance scores. And Neil just knew that Dan and Matt would make a big deal of consoling him if he had to stop playing lacrosse, or switch one of his majors to a minor, or would drop off the Dean’s List.

So, he kept the details about his studies to himself.

Until today, apparently.

Even worse, he had talked about NASA.

No one knew about NASA.

Be sure to branch out to more serious conversation.

Remembering the line from the website, Neil shook his head at himself. He doubted it could get any more serious than talking about his life’s dream.

While Neil felt nauseated just thinking about all the things he had told Andrew, he couldn't help but grin at the thought of Andrew building robots at NASA and maybe constructing the next Mars rover or something.

Motivated by Andrew's ambitions, Neil opened his laptop and pulled up his email. After quickly writing a note to his faculty advisor, informing him that he had decided on an emphasis on abstract math, Neil took a photo before sending the email off.

Immediately, it felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Opening his chat with Andrew, he sent the photo with no further comment.

A moment later, his phone pinged.

Neil smiled giddily at Andrew's response – a simple image of the NASA logo.

The next evening, Neil reluctantly got ready for the party at one of the frat houses. He had continued texting with Andrew all through last night and this morning and had almost asked him whether he was going to the same party but chickened out at the last second – not wanting to come across as annoying – and quickly deleted the question before he could accidentally hit send.

So instead, after arriving at the party at quarter past ten, he walked around the already packed rooms, looking for Andrew.

An unsuccessful circuit of the house later, he sidled up to Matt and Dan, and subsequently Allison and a couple others. Standing in the living room with a coke in his hand, he let his eyes wander across the students once again, hoping to see a blond—

There.

Neil zeroed in on the bright blond hair, going slightly up on his tiptoes to see better, only to drop back down disappointed when he recognized that it was Aaron, not Andrew.

Getting back up on his tiptoes, he tried to see who Aaron was with but could only spot Nicky.

Furrowing his brows, he decided to go on another tour through all the rooms. If Nicky and Aaron were here, surely Andrew would be, too, right?

Matt’s confused question where he was going was quickly ignored – he only absentmindedly registered that he had left in the middle of a conversation – in favor of walking from room to room, coke forgotten on some side table.

No Andrew.

A couple minutes later, he spotted Nicky and Aaron in the kitchen but decided against walking over to them. He knew Nicky well enough, but Aaron was clearly not a fan of him, so after a quick nod at Nicky when he had been spotted after all, he made sure to quickly move on.

In the hallway, he recognized Jeremy from the soccer team who was, fortunately, also a mechanical engineering major and probably knew Andrew.

“Hey Jerem—”

“Neil! Hey!” Before Neil could react, Jeremy had already engulfed him in a too tight hug, clearly no longer sober if his bright eyes and lopsided smile was any indication. And the hug. People didn’t just hug Neil.

“Uh, yeah.” Neil quickly extricated himself from Jeremy’s arms, taking a step back. “Have you seen Andrew?”

“Uh.” Jeremy scratched his head. “Yeah, I think I just saw him in the kitchen?”

“That’s Aaron.”

“Uh, are you sure?” Jeremy ran a hand down his chest, taking a deep breath as if that would sober him up. “Then he’s probably with Roland?”

“Roland?” Why would Andrew be with Roland?

“Uh, yeah, you know Roland, the one on your team?” Jeremy asked, scratching his head again, clearly confused.

“I didn’t know Roland and Andrew knew each other.”

“Aren’t they, like, a thing? Pretty sure I’ve seen them together. Maybe check the upstairs bedrooms?”

“Wh—”

“Uh, sorry Neil, I’m not feeling so good, I’m gonna—”

Neil barely registered Jeremy stumbling past him, the back-slap rocking him sideways as he stood stock-still.

Andrew and Roland?

But. That didn’t make sense.

Standing in the hallway, his pulse kicked into overdrive. He thought he heard his name from somewhere to the side but couldn’t be sure over the too loud pounding of his heart.

Andrew and Roland? Since when? How?

Why?

No. That wasn’t right.

Holding onto the wall next to him, he waited until the walls stopped spinning in and out of focus before pushing his way through the throngs of students to the front door and onto the sidewalk.

Andrew and Roland?

Pressing his hand against his chest, Neil felt as if he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, the sound of his own heart deafening in his ears.

Andrew was with Roland?

Looking around himself disoriented, he had trouble recognizing where he was. The questions spinning in his head were too loud for him to focus.

And his heart was going too fast.

And there wasn’t enough air.

He had thought things were going well.

They had texted last night. Today.

Andrew had smiled at him just yesterday.

Neil could feel his breathing getting quicker, his heartbeat hammering in his chest, his too quick pulse reverberating in his ears and blocking out any sound of passing cars and yelling students around him.

He just stared ahead, unseeing past the first couple yards, finally falling into a run, his feet hitting the ground hard while his thoughts spun out of control.

Andrew didn’t like him.

Andrew didn’t like him.

Andrew didn’t like him.

Crashing against the door to his dorm building, he barely managed to get out his key fob to open the door. He could feel sweat, cold and disgusting, between his shoulder blades, making his shirt cling to him as he stumbled up the stairs.

Unlocking his door – his brain absently registering that his roommate must still be out – he kicked off his sneakers before moving in the direction of his bedroom in the darkness of the dorm. Tripping over his own feet, he caught himself on the bedroom door before he could fall to the floor. His hands gripped the frame hard, holding on for a moment while the room was spinning around him, pressing his forehead against the cold wood.

Andrew didn’t like him.

The thought hovered over him, eclipsing every other thought, every other memory from the last couple months.

No no no no.

Swallowing hard, he barely made it to his bed before collapsing on top of it.

His too quick and unsteady breaths were the only sound in the quiet room.

Andrew didn’t like him.

He felt so stupid.

Staring into the darkness, he bit down on his bottom lip to stop the sobs threatening to rip out of him.

He must’ve looked so stupid to Andrew.

His chest felt as if it was caving in, hollow and useless.

He had been so sure that he had time. That they had time.

On his nightstand, the glowing red numbers of his alarm clock ticked by as if mocking him.

Wrapping his arms tight around himself, he pulled his knees to his chest. His legs were shaking and his shoulders hurt from the struggle to keep still.

He wanted this moment to be over. Forget that any of this had ever happened.

Pressing his head into the pillow, he watched the digits on his nightstand switch to midnight.

Reaching blindly behind himself for his blanket, he pulled it over his head as if it could hide him from the world.

The darkness, at least, kept him from seeing the world turn blurry before he quickly squeezed his eyes shut.

Step 10: Ask him on a date!

If your flirting has been successful so far, and you want to get to know the other person better, it's time to see if you can turn it into a date. Here are a few approaches:

• Ask if the other person has plans at a later date. Try to keep this an open question instead of one that requires a yes or no answer—you'll get more information that way.
• Be straightforward. If you're feeling extra confident, go in for the kill without any pretense. For instance, you could say something like, "I'd really love to take you on a date. When are you free?"

And if he asks you out before you can do it yourself? Then make sure to accept and have fun on your date!

Neil stared at his phone. Blinking slowly at the words on his screen, he wanted to shrug the last couple months off, wanted to laugh at himself as if it wasn’t a big deal. Wanted to talk to Andrew as if nothing had changed.

But he couldn’t.

It was Monday morning and he was sitting in class, not taking in a single word the professor was saying. Katelyn was throwing worried glances his way, but he didn’t feel like talking.

He was tired.

He hadn’t gotten much sleep since Saturday, a weird combination of exhaustion and agitation keeping him from getting any rest.

Yesterday, Andrew had texted him, but Neil hadn’t been able to respond.

What could he even say?

Hi Andrew, I thought we were heading somewhere but apparently you already got there with someone else? My bad?

Looking down at his phone, he closed the tab, locked his phone and stared out the window.

Neil skipped most classes on Tuesday and Thursday, only attending the most important ones and sticking to the shortest routes in between classrooms and buildings.

He felt heavy and numb. Lost.

Andrew’s texts remained unanswered in his phone. Yesterday, he had stopped opening them.

On Tuesday, he had also skipped lacrosse practice but was back today after their coach had called him several times.

Seeing Roland standing on the other field, laughing with the others, Neil’s chest constricted painfully, making it hard to breathe. After closing his eyes for a moment, he turned away and tried to ignore Roland as best as he could, staying with the other strikers and keeping the interactions with the backliners to a minimum.

At the end of their practice, muscles burning after running himself almost to the ground trying to get rid of all the feelings warring inside of him, he walked alongside Kevin over to the rest of the team where they were clustered around the benches.

“We should increase the drill portion,” Kevin was saying next to Neil. “Aim is our biggest weakness.”

“Uh, yeah,” Neil could barely focus on Kevin and the conversation. His head ached, he was tired, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten, his stomach churning painfully.

Neil thought Kevin said something else but couldn’t be sure, his attention suddenly caught by Nicky’s words, “Ah, young love.”

Young love.

No. This couldn’t be happening.

Neil faintly registered his laughing team members, words like “date” and “anniversary” flying over his head, his heartbeat accelerating in his chest.

Young love.

“He’s easy like that.”

Neil’s eyes snapped to Roland where he stood in the middle of the circle of their team. There might’ve been more laughter, but Neil couldn’t hear clearly over the ringing sound in his ears.

“Don’t call him that.”

Too late, Neil realized that the sharp words, dropping to the floor heavy and deafening, had come from him.

The others turned around to look at him, but Neil could only stare at Roland.

With his dark curls and dark eyes and lean stature and easy smile and tan skin and—and—

Neil couldn’t handle this.

How could Roland say something like this about Andrew? Andrew.

Andrew wasn’t easy.

How dare this asshole say that.

Neil swallowed hard, trying to rein in the burst of anger. The frustration and disappointment and everything suddenly overflowing.

“It was a joke, Neil.” Roland rolled his eyes. He rolled his eyes.

“Why would you think that's funny?” Neil couldn’t help but step forward, could no longer hold himself back.

“Chill, man, it’s not as if it’s any of your business.”

At that, Neil stopped.

Because Roland was right, it wasn’t any of his business. Andrew wasn’t his business. He was Roland’s. And Roland joked about him. As if it was nothing.

Before Neil could think twice, he had already raised his fist and punched Roland in the face, the impact sending shocks of pain up his hand and arm.

He watched Roland stumble back and fall to the ground just as he was yanked back. Distantly, he registered shouting but all he saw was Roland on the ground.

Staring down at the other man, Neil balled his aching hand into a fist, enjoying the pain the movement caused. Shaking off the hands holding onto his arms, he walked off the field.

Coach Wymack stopped him halfway to the exit to yell at him, but Neil only stared ahead, no words registering.

When he was finally told to leave, he grabbed his stuff and, without changing, went home.

“I don’t feel like talking,” he texted Dan for the umpteenth time, walking slowly to his first class.

All through last night, his phone had been blowing up. Everyone wanted to know what had happened, what he was thinking, what Roland had done.

If Neil was okay.

No, he wasn’t. That much he knew.

He had spent most of the night ignoring the incoming texts and calls and only responded when his friends had threatened to come by his dorm.

Now, he read along as Dan kept interrogating him, hoping for Neil to finally offer some answers.

But Neil didn’t feel like explaining himself. For one, where would he even start? And two, while Neil was slightly embarrassed about what he had done, he wasn’t sorry.

He pulled the hood of his favorite Palmetto hoodie further down into his face, burying his nose in the soft fabric. It was too warm for a hoodie, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to care. He wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t the last day before exams started next week.

“Neil.”

Neil stumbled slightly at the voice behind him, already turning around as if on autopilot.

Please let this warm and deep voice belong to someone—

Nope, that was definitely Andrew walking toward him across the lawn.

Neil pulled his hood down even further before shoving his hands and his phone into the pocket of his hoodie.

And Andrew, well, Andrew looked good, of course. He doubted Andrew would ever be caught in a bright orange hoodie with pen stains on the sleeves and frayed edges.

Andrew stopped a couple feet away from Neil, opening and closing his mouth a couple times, no words coming out, before finally settling on, “Hi.”

“Hi Andrew.” Neil wondered how long it would take before simply saying Andrew’s name no longer made him feel better.

“Where you’ve been the last couple days?”

Neil wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry at that question, so he merely shrugged. After all, there was no way that Andrew didn’t know what had happened last night.

Andrew hummed, clearly at a loss of what to say next. Silence dragged on, with Neil staring at Andrew and Andrew looking around them, running a hand through his hair several times.

Neil didn’t know why Andrew had walked up to him, had decided to talk to him. Maybe Neil should just turn around and leav—

“I heard you punched Roland last night.”

And there it was.

Taking a deep breath, Neil didn’t know what to say – was he supposed to apologize to Andrew for punching his… boyfriend? He shrugged to cover up the involuntary shudder the word had triggered.

“Is your hand okay?” Andrew looked down at where Neil’s hands where hidden in the pocket of his hoodie.

What?

“That’s your question?” Neil asked incredulously, raising his eyebrows, momentarily lost at what to do.

“Uhm, yeah.” Andrew shifted slightly were he stood. “If it’s swollen, you can use cold compresses for 15 to 20 minutes. And you can take pain meds, that also helps. And, uhm, you should definitely rest it as much as possible.” Andrew nodded quickly before running a hand through his hair again, shifting from foot to foot.

Neil couldn’t help but nod along. What was happening? Wasn’t Andrew supposed to be angry?

Why would he give Neil tips on how to take care of his hand? The hand he had used to punch his… whatever.

“Aren’t you angry?” Neil blurted out, pulling his hands from his pocket and crossing his arms in front of his chest, hands balled into fists.

“Uh,” Andrew paused, “I mean, you shouldn’t hurt yourself like that. And, I mean, I don’t understand why you haven’t answered any of my texts. But I’m not going to force you if you no longer want to, I don’t know, uhm,” Andrew paused again, pressing his lips together for a moment as he stared at the ground before hesitatingly settling on, “talk.”

Neil stared at Andrew, wondering what was happening.

“I punched your boyfriend.”

Andrew’s head snapped up to Neil, eyebrows furrowing. “Who? What?”

“Roland.”

“Why would Roland be my boyfriend?”

What? This whole conversation was so confusing.

“Jeremy said you and Roland are together.”

“What, no, we’re not.”

“You’re not.” Neil blinked at Andrew, trying to remember his conversation with Jeremy on Saturday.

“We, uhm,” Andrew shuffled his feet, “we used to, well, hook up. But we ended that months ago.”

“Months ago.”

“Well, yeah,” Andrew said, looking at Neil with raised eyebrows. “So, you thought I was with Roland.”

“Yeah.”

“And then you punched him? Neil, why?”

Neil couldn’t help but stare at Andrew. So, Andrew wasn’t with Roland? Confused, he let his arms fall to his sides, shoulders slumping with exhaustion.

“He talked about you. At practice. About taking you on a date.” At Andrew’s furrowed brows, Neil quietly continued, “He called you easy.”

He watched Andrew take a deep breath and, with a last look around them, cross the last couple steps so he stood directly in front of Neil, less than a foot between them.

“Pretty sure he was talking about Felix. They just had their two-months anniversary.” Andrew tilted his head to the side, his eyes slowly moving across Neil’s face. After several beats, he added in a low voice, the corners of his lips twitching upwards, “Because apparently that’s a thing.”

“Huh.” Neil swallowed hard, nodding as if any of this was making sense.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Neil whispered into the silence between them.

“Okay,” Andrew whispered back. “So, you thought I was dating Roland. Is that why you stopped responding to my texts?”

Suddenly feeling very stupid, Neil merely nodded, looking down at their feet. His old running shoes looked even older next to Andrew’s nice sneakers.

“And then you punched Roland when you thought he was talking shit about me.”

It wasn’t a question, so Neil figured he didn’t have to embarrass himself further by answering.

“Neil.” Andrew stepped impossibly closer, hooking his fingers into Neil’s hoodie pocket and pulling him forward. He waited until Neil’s eyes had found his. “I’m not dating Roland. And Roland wasn’t talking about me. I’m…” Andrew licked his lips. As if mesmerized, Neil’s eyes followed the movement. “I’m interested in someone else, someone that’s definitely not Roland.”

At the words, Neil’s eyes snapped back to Andrew’s. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, could hear the matching dull thumping in his ears. His head was both overwhelmed with thoughts and completely empty at the same time.

“Mhuh?”

Carefully, Andrew pulled Neil even closer, reaching up to tug Neil’s hood back onto his shoulders and settling a hand on the back of Neil’s head, pressing down the tiniest bit and oh—that was nice.

Neil closed his eyes for a moment, letting Andrew guide their heads until their foreheads were leaning against each other.

“Just so we’re clear, I’m talking about you.”

At Andrew’s low whisper, Neil finally opened his eyes again.

“Uhm, okay.” Neil tried to swallow but his throat was too dry. Andrew was so close. “That’s good.” Neil couldn’t help the nervous laugh breaking through his lips on the next breath. “That’s really good.”

Andrew was interested in Neil. Maybe he even liked him. Neil had to close his eyes again, feeling dizzy and light-headed, his lips involuntarily stretching into a smile.

Andrew’s fingers were massaging Neil’s neck and playing with his hair in a slow, calming motion. It really did feel good to have Andrew’s hands on him. Who knew.

The thought made him giggle, the sound more breath than melody.

Opening his eyes, Neil carefully pressed his forehead a little bit more against Andrew’s. Gathering all the courage he could find in himself after the last week, he took a deep, unsteady breath and whispered, “Do you, maybe, want to get something to eat? I mean, together?”

They were too close for Neil to be sure, but he thought he saw Andrew smile.

“Yes, Neil,” Andrew whispered back, bumping his nose gently against Neil’s, “let’s do that.”

Step 10: Ask him on a date.

Done.