Chapter Text
Izuku woke up with the sound of his All Might alarm clock.
He groggily stretched his arms out and yawned, waiting for his brain to fully reboot before getting up. A slight movement in front of him interrupted this process.
Izuku looked down, and was met with two bumps sitting innocently in his chest as if they belonged there. He hesitantly lifted a hand, and poked one of the mounds of flesh.
Huh.
He- He definitely felt that.
What the hell what the hell what the hell what what what what do I do what do I do help oh shit what the
Izuku’s mind blue-screened.
So he did the only thing that seemed natural at that point in time.
.
.
.
He screamed.
The same instant, the sound of hurried steps getting closer to his door began and was getting louder and louder.
His door was opened forcefully, his mom hurrying inside with big wide eyes and a question.
"I-Izuku honey, did something hap-" Inko began, taking a good look at him before cutting herself off.
"Mo-mom, something weird is happening.." Izuku whined, looking at his mother as she leaned against the door.
"Izu-Izukuu?? Is that- Is that you??" His mother wailed. He nodded a few times, and it seemed her legs lost their strength as she slid slowly into the ground, her body’s weight only being sustained by the door.
Izuku's eyes widened, and he got up from his bed, ignoring any other new feature his body may be displaying. "Mom, are you okay?" He quickly kneeled in front of her.
"Am I okay?? Honey, you're– you're a girl ."
Oh.
That was.. That was something. He hadn’t exactly… realized what had happened.
Huh.
Izuku felt as if his brain had crashed again.
He got up, and walked slowly to the bathroom mirror as if he was on a trance, his brain filtering out his mom’s startled squeal.
Yeah, there it was. It was definitely still his face. Well, sort of. He definitely didn’t have those thick eyelashes, but it was mostly normal.
Now the hair? That was definitely not his. I mean, it was the right color, with the odd mix of green and black, and it was all wavy and messy, but his hair never reached down to his shoulders.
And looking at his shoulders drew attention to... another weird part of this.
Ok, those were definitely boobs, weren’t they?
‘Do I even want to look down there?’ Izuku thought, dread starting to set in.
Of course, he didn’t even have to make this choice. A light, softweight clung to his right shoulder from behind.
And Izuku saw the tiny, smiling and bloodied face of his new rabbit plushie poking to look at him through his mirror.
He would not be proud to remember this later, but he screamed. Or better yet, he squeaked. Very, very loudly.
His mom’s whine echoed from behind him, a soft “Izukuu, your bunny– It’s- It’s moving !!”.
His body reacted faster than his brain.
He grabbed the little doll by the face, and chucked it with all his strength towards the wall, before dashing to his mother’s side.
“Ouch! That was really rude, you know??” A high-pitched voice came from the doll, as it actually stood up and wobbled.
‘It’s talking. That doll is actually talking. Is this that little girl’s quirk?’
Now, Izuku is, down to his very core, a Quirk Nerd™. The very possibility that this was caused by someone’s Quirk awoke the side of his brain completely dedicated to analysing everything and pushed his anxiety off the table.
“Now that you seemed to regain at least a bit of your sanity, will you let me explain what’s going on?” The bunny turned to them, crossing it’s little arms and looking surprisingly pissed off for something whose face didn't move much.
“Um... Yeah, please, I think we're both in a bit of a shock.” His mom was still unresponsive, gaping in shock at the talking doll. “Just wait a sec, I’ll make some tea. I think mom is gonna need it.”
The doll sighed, but still nodded at him, and Izuku helped his mom get up and walked her to the living room’s couch, the bunny trailing behind them.
His brain blessedly turned off while he was making the tea, and only restarted when he already had two cups and a steaming teapot in hands.
“Mom? You okay there?” Izuku asked, seeing as she was still sitting on the couch in the same position he left her, a thousand miles stare in her eyes.
His question seemed to snap her out of her trance, as she blinked and shook her head to cleanse her mind before telling him that she was indeed okay, and accepting the tea cup he offered her.
He poured one for himself and sat beside her, turning to look at the silent, but still very much standing and walking plushie. The bunny looked back at him, and jumped on top of the center table, before addressing them.
“Alright, you’ve calmed down enough, right? Right. Nice to meet you, Midoriya Izuku, and welcome to the Kämpfer Program.” ‘ Kanpu-what?’ Izuku thought, taking a sip from his hot tea. “I am called Jisatsu Rabbit, and from now on I shall be your familiar until the day you leave the Kämpfer forces.”
“ Suicidal Rabbit? What sort of gruesome name is that? And my familiar? What forces do you mean? Is this some sort of recruiting for war? Are you a villain? Or from the Japanese military? What sort of thing is th–”
“Kid, chill. I almost couldn’t decipher what that muttering storm meant.” The bunny had lied down on the table, and his mom was reaching for the teapot to refill her cup.
“ Oh, was I talking out loud?” He thought, and the doll nodded and said “You very much are. It’s ok, I’ll explain this whole thing, so be calm, all right?” Izuku nodded and settled back into the couch.
“To begin with, starting today you are a Kämpfer. A warrior meant to battle others of your kind for the sake of this war.” The bunny stretched it’s body and sat up again. Izuku opened his mouth but before he could ask, his mom interrupted him.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... War? Battle? What do you mean my Izuku is meant to battle someone? Who decided this? This is way too dangerous, isn’t it?” Inko’s sudden questions startled both Izuku and the rabbit, and the boy turned to her to see how her mind was already slipping down the anxiety hell slide, her trembling hands shaking her cup.
“Look, I’ll make it as simple as possible. There is an intergalactic war between empires, but the destruction was too much. So, a few centuries ago, it was decided that certain humans would be chosen to fight against each other in place of these civilizations' armies, because a full-scale war of this magnitude would end up destroying a few solar systems. Kämpfers are people who are chosen to be combatants for their teams, and they must fight against each other to gain points for their respective empire.”
Okay, so now Izuku didn’t know which part to focus on. Intergalactic War, actual aliens, becoming a prop of war... He would really need to write this all down.
“And how was I chosen? And why? I’m no warrior, and I’ve never heard of any of this before.”
‘Yes, let’s go from the beginning, how am I involved. We can focus on the big murder aspects later.’ Izuku thought, and took another sip from his tea. His mom reached for her third cup.
“I was given to you by a Moderator, so that marked you as a new Kämpfer. I don’t know why a Moderator chose you, only that I'm assigned to guide you for as long as you’re a Kämpfer. And the war is to be kept secret from humanity at a large scale. Families, friends, those can know if needed, but any mention of this to the masses will end up in a mass memory wipe for all of your species, and believe me, it’s not nice when those need to happen.” The bunny explained seriously, pacing from one side of the table to another.
Izuku blinked. And again.
“So that little girl that gave me you yesterday is one of those Moderators? Why would she even give you out for a total stranger?” Izuku actually felt a little pain because of it now. So the bunny was not as much a sign of gratitude as it was a trap.
“And why would she even give you out in the first place? Did she want my Izuku to fight in this war you talk about?” His mom added, before drinking the rest of her tea in one big gulp and pouring herself another cup with trembling hands. Izuku took a sip of his own, now lukewarm, tea.
“Moderators are programmed to give us out to anyone that shows certain traits around them. If it makes it a little better for you, she most likely has no idea what happens to anyone she gives a plushie to. Moderators’ minds are probably the most wiped out of them all.” Ok, now Izuku was feeling bad for the girl. Forced memory wipes didn’t seem like something fun.
“And is there no way for me to not be one of these kyanpufa?” He tilted his head, and the brush of his now longer hair drew back his attention to his... newest body features.
“Nope. Once you’re chosen, you have to be one for a minimum of five years. Only then you will be allowed to stop.” Inko sighed and reached for one more cup. ‘Yeah, I think this is going to be a Bourbon night. I can see the craving of alcohol in her eyes.’ Izuku thought, letting out a sigh himself. Inko drank a little of her fifth cup of tea, and tried to calm herself down before asking.
“But these things are dangerous, aren’t they? My Izuku doesn’t know how to fight! And now there will be people trying to kill him, and he has to go and kill other people?!?” Yeah, no, here’s that anxiety.
“And we go back to the murder part.” Izuku took a page from his mother’s book and drank a big, satisfying gulp from his tea.
“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that. Not really. Having to kill your enemies was taken out a few decades ago. Too many casualties. Just knocking them unconscious or making them retreat is enough to consider a battle won. And he can definitely learn how to fight properly.” The doll was fast to declare, clearly seeing how on verge of a panic attack Inko was.
Izuku’s own anxiety dropped after this. He would need to fight, but not to kill. He could pretty much use this for hero training, right?
“And what team am I in?” Good, good, basic questions.
“Check your left wrist.”
‘Huh?’
Izuku lifted his wrist and noticed a thick, red line marked against his skin.
“As you can see, you belong to the Red Team, Rot, representing the empire of Alpha Centauri. Your main enemies will be either Blau, the blue team, or Grün, the green team.” Alright, that was more confusing than what Izuku expected. Video game logics, Izuku. Video game logics.
“And do we have any allies?” Allies were important, right?
“Only Rosa, the pink team. Schwarz, Weiss and Gelb are neutral in the Red/Bue war.” Just how many teams were there?
“Alright. I think I’ll need to lie down and process this a little, so last question for now.” And now, for the biggest question of all.
“Shoot it.” The bunny nodded, lying down again.
“Why am I a girl?” That part definitely didn't fit into the logic of the rest.
“All Kämpfer need to be women. So all men that are chosen must turn into women for the battles.” The bunny explained, and Izuku’s mind just tied up more.
“Alright. But why women? Why does it need to be women?”
The bunny stopped, looked down and up again, before shrugging and saying.
“Beats me. I think the superiors just enjoy the female body better? Or something like that.”
‘Alright, a war of pervert aliens, huh. Fun.’
“ And is this like, permanent? And I just... a girl now? Out of nowhere?”
“No, no, you can switch between forms as much as you’d like. Although you have to get the hang of it, so for the first days you will be switching between one and the other.”
Less bad, then. Izuku really didn’t want to be stuck in a girl’s body for the rest of his life.
“Okay. Yeah, I’m going back to bed then. Can we talk about the rest of it later?”
The bunny nodded, and Izuku’s mother finished her fifth cup of tea.
“Honey, I know this is a lot, but don’t you have school today?”
School. Fuck, he forgot completely about school.
Oh, but there was no way in hell he was going to Aldera looking like this. Kacchan and the others would mock him to death.
“Mom, I really don’t think I’ll be able to handle school right now. Can I just call in sick?” ‘For the rest of the year?’ He felt like adding. Was there a way for him to transfer schools this late into the term?
“That’s fair enough. Go back to bed, then, Mom will warn your school that you’re feeling sick today.” May all bless the angel that was Midoriya Inko.
“Thanks Mom, you’re the best.” Izuku leaned into his mom’s arms, hugging her slightly, before getting up and making his way back to bed.
‘If I’m lucky, this will be nothing but a very weird nightmare.’ He thought as he tucked himself in.
Of course, Izuku was never lucky. So no, it was very much real.