Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“C’mon, bro. One drink . You need to relax…” Eijirou spoke on the other end of the line,  making Katsuki roll his eyes. His hand, red and sore with all the worrying, gripped the phone a little tighter, debating his response; even as a firm ‘no’ hung on the tip of it. He could hear Eijirou hold his breath, the silence coming from the phone abnormal for someone as loud and obnoxious as the red headed hero.

“ Fine. ” Katsuki grumbled, chest vibrating with the low rumbling growl that followed his agreeance. “One!” he added quickly before his best friend could get too carried away with any sort of plans on the eve of one of the most important nights of Katsuki’s life.

There was no way he would get shitfaced and end up missing Izuku waking up. That, or let anyone else be the first person he sees. Katsuki knows it was a bit selfish, what with Izuku’s mom also anxiously awaiting his revival. She understood Katsuki’s… greed. He wanted Izuku’s attention, no matter what. But this time it was a bit different. Katsuki needed it. He needed it now like he needed air.

Somehow, after showing up to the shithole of a bar Eijirou insisted on meeting him at, Katsuki was bullied into not just one drink with Eijirou, but several drinks with the few friends whom had taken the liberty of inviting themselves. It seemed that the redhead had gone blurting about his “special relaxing bro time” with his “best bud” to help him “get his mind off things”!

Katsuki gripped the whiskey glass a little tighter, glaring down at the swing of amber liquid that was left remaining at the bottom, his friends all chattering around him. Mina leaned on the table, one knee on the seat, effectively sandwiching him between her thigh and Eijirou’s rock hard side; with his equally hard elbow. It was almost as if they were trying to prevent him from leaving.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes, dragging them up and away from his drink to try to focus on the faces of Denki and Hanta. Katsuki lifted the corner of his lip in a grumpy sneer as the two of them palled around, shoving each other playfully as Hanta was teased about something that made his cheeks glow. Not a lot embarrassed the guy, so he was either drunk, or something was said that Katsuki didn’t quite catch, or care to know about. The majority of the night was spent in a downward spiral. The alcohol didn’t help the worry, only making it worse as he started to panic and slip on the reason for worrying. There was a foggy confusion that hung around Izuku. He was anxious and lead-limbed, stuck in his seat, unable to do anything else but stare ahead of him.

“Ay, man?”

“Katsuki?”

Katsuki blinked, slowly turning his head to Eijirou who was waving his hand in his face now.

“I’ll bite yer fingers off. Whadda’ya want?”

“I said: Are you okay, man? You look kinda pissed.”

Katsuki watched as Eijirou scrubbed his fingers through the back of his styled hair, nails scratching at his scalp nervously.

“I’ll be okay when I get home. Gotta be at the hospital early, remember?”

“Ah- right,” Eijirou cleared his throat, nails now leaving little red lines where he now scratched at his collar bone. “So listen, I invited a few more people. I know you don’t like huge social things-”

That was an understatement.

“-But y’know, word travels fast, and with what’s been going on, we’ve all just been really concerned for you, and we miss you-”

Izuku was his social buffer. Izuku was his fisherman to the proverbial fish that was his anger. He’d reel him in, make it all okay. Things didn’t get so overwhelming. Izuku wasn’t here-

“It would just be super great if you stayed, but I know, I know- We’ve kept you too long already! I totally get it Baku-Bro… just go home and leave us!”

Katsuki squinted a glare at Eijirou, annoyed that he’d put on the dramatics. 

“Would you shut up? We can all hang out when Deku’s better.” And with that, Katsuki slapped his hands on the table, and moved to muscle his way past Mina.

“Whaaat?” She complained, voice high and disappointed. “You’re leaving already, Kaaaac-chan? ”

When she moved to put a hand on his shoulder, Katsuki sneered and shrugged her off, frowning deeply even as he spoke. “My head is pounding. Don’t say my fuckin’ name like that or I’ll shove soap in yer face!”

“Ohhh, Eijirou, he’s in a bad mood! Why’s he mad!?” She practically laid on the table now, reaching out for her boyfriend with a pout. “You scared the Baku-kitty away!”

White-girl-wasted didn’t hold a flame to pink-girl-wasted.

Out of the corner of his eye he watched Denki mouth/whisper ‘it’s a Deku thing’, the both of them nodding sagely in agreeance. That made Katsuki’s blood boil, knuckles cracking as he picked up his leather coat. He knew they were just joking around, but Katsuki wasn’t able to just slip into jovial bliss. He ground his teeth in annoyance, their laughter becoming deafening. They were making fun of him for being concerned. They were treating this like some joke. Katsuki’s face was getting red, a vein in his forehead throbbing. The liquid rage bubbled in his stomach, or was that just vomit from the sudden nausea that overcame him as he saw red. Izuku was their friend! He was their friend and they all just sat around like he was fine! They treated this like Izuku was just out late on a job, or out of the country. He wasn’t just absent , Izuku had been REMOVED from the equation. He should have been here! He was-... he was fine. He was fine. Izuku was in a hospital, surrounded by medical professionals, and he was due to be woken up in the morning. It was fine.

“Seriously, Katchu’ki…” Mina was standing now. They were all quiet, and her hand comfortingly settled on his shoulder when he hadn’t noticed. “You go home. Thank you for coming out, okay?”

“I’ll be with you tomorrow, okay bro?” Eijirou grinned, trying to lighten his mood with just that charming, goofy sharp smile.

“And you have to call us when you can to tell us how he is,” Hanta added, sounding much more sober than anyone at that table, himself included.

“I’ll call him a cab!” Denki held up his phone, the cab company already being rung up. “We’ll tell everyone he got tired or some- Oh! Hello! Can i get a cab at-”

“Yeah, I’ll just be outside. I need air. See ya.’” Katsuki’s rapidly beating heart eased a little as they said their goodbyes and well wishes to his retreating back. The leather strained as he hunched over, his shoulders getting too big for his favourite coat. He’d bulked up even more the last few months. Lifting civilians was a lot more work when you didn’t have super strength, and the ability to carry ten men without even blinking.  

Even though Denki called him a cab, after standing out in the fresh air for a few minutes, Katsuki’s decision to ‘just walk instead’ was made, and set in stone. He would just text them as he walked. He could do that much. He would have the time to do so given he took the long way home, opting to walk and enjoy the night air. He was already hot blooded, and the alcohol never improved that, so the time to cool off and sort through his thoughts was not only welcomed , it was necessary . He needed to let the shitstorm that was going on sink in properly. He was alone with himself and his thoughts, though at the moment they were all blending together.

It was a nice walk home, all things considered.

When Katsuki got home he wasted no time in pulling out his phone, pulling up the app where a huge group message was waiting for him. There were a few concerned messages after he’d walked away and vetoed the cab ride. There were a couple notifications on the side from individuals that he just didn’t have the energy to fancy a single look at, and a few pictures of all his friends from the group chat. There were many well wishes and “good luck” posts where his name was tagged multiple times. He scoffed at them all, scrolling through the messages to get rid of the notifications as he kicked off his shoes. These guys didn’t take a hint, did they? No matter how anti-social he was, they never quite left him alone.

They were good friends.

“ Home now.”   Katsuki typed a basic reply, tapping send before tossing his phone into the dish Izuku had bought for their keys. It was a little frog dish. Stupidly cute. Disgustingly so. It was embarrassing as hell when any of his friends would greet the thing when they came in the door.

Katsuki found himself running his fingers over the smooth, glazed glass, thinking of a greeting rather than saying it out loud.

Yeah… I’m home now, Deku… Soon, you will be, too...

He has to go to bed alone again, and he hates it.

He loathes having to go to bed knowing that it wasn’t because Izuku was just out living his own life.Before, it seemed so easy to do… to go to bed without him. He took sleeping soundlessly, alone in their bed, for granted.  Izuku wasn’t there now because of his own ignorance and stupidity. His own weakness.

Katsuki was always aware… always conscious of the fact they weren’t immortal. It was Izuku who had that bit of information wrong. Izuku always acted as if he were… and then one slip up- on lapse in judgement ended up with his head smashed in by some low-class, less-than-D-grade villain. It should have been a simple job and yet-

Katsuki sucked in a breath, quieting the sadness that begged him to cry. He laid there in silence and stayed awake for a while; staring up at the ceiling fan as it sent a gentle breeze down onto him, arms behind his head as he remained stuck in a state of white noise. A part of him hoped he’d hear the door open, ever-so-quietly, and close gently. If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear the creak of the floorboards giving away to the bare, scarred feet that walked upon them. He could visualize the lopsided, kind smile, and that mess of green hair as Izuku tiptoed his way over to the bed, and climbed up and onto the mattress.

Katsuki swallowed, rolling onto his side to grab at one of Izuku’s pillows, tucking it under his chin as he willed himself to sleep.

Tomorrow was an exciting day. Tomorrow would be better.

Inko had asked Katsuki to bring some clothes for Izuku, and he'd done his best to bring something that Izuku would like. Katsuki made sure to pack the comfiest clothes, or at least what he thought would be comfy, according to word of mouth from Izuku. Every time Izuku would get home and put on some fresh, clean clothes he could relax in, he always made a point of how comfy he was to Katsuki. Even if the shirt Katsuki shoved into the small duffle bag was so dumb. It adorned those yellow bunny ears of All Might’s, blinding in colour, and resembling that of a child's graphic tee. He knew the nerd would be happy to see them like the forever All Might fanboy he was. If anything, it would at least brighten up the shitty, sickly white and navy of his hospital room. On top of the shirt, Katsuki packed some underwear and socks, two pairs of sweats, and another plain white t-shirt that was labeled as such on the front.

He hadn’t slept well, but he did manage to wake up before his alarm so at least he was ready to be picked up.

Katsuki tried to wear something nice, the shallow part of him caring about how he presented himself in front of Izuku, but he really just walked out with a pair of jeans and black shirt. Plain, simple, functional.

When he got outside, Eijirou was standing there, waving to him like he didn’t have a hangover. Katsuki knew better. The guy was just good at hiding it.


They got to the hospital in record time, getting there before everyone else, which surprised Katsuki. He wasn’t late this time, which was already an accomplishment from yesterday, Eijirou already setting the small bear he’d picked up downstairs from the gift shop on Izuku’s bedside table.

The doctor had greeted them, told them that Izuku was already on his way to opening his eyes again.

Katsuki longed to see green stare back at him. The purple-ish, paper-white eyelids made him anxious. Izuku wouldn’t wake up yet, and he wouldn’t for a while. It was difficult to just sit and wait, doing nothing when Katsuki desperately wanted to do something to speed the process along.

“This is painful,” Katsuki put the bag of clothes at the end of the nerd’s bed, and took his seat. His seat. He didn’t care if Shouto tried to claim it before. He would write his name on it if he had to. “I fuckin’ hate waiting, Deku.” Katsuki pulled out his phone, Eijirou laughing nervously from the other side of the hospital bed. His thumb, without thinking, was already quickly scrolling to Inko’s name. He clicked it, and set to work on letting her know he was there, and that he’d brought a few supplies for Izuku to last him after he woke up. 

Red irises watched the sleeping male, his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he put his elbow on the chair’s rest. His eyelids fought to close, but his own sheer determination overpowered it for a little while. Eijirou asked him if he wanted breakfast, which he gave a non-commital shrug. Eijirou rocked back on his heels, sucking on his teeth.

“I’m going to go call my boss quick. Technically I’m not supposed to even be here yet.”

“You skimped on paperwork, again?” Katsuki asked tiredly, yawning as Eijirou barked a laugh and waved him off.

“Yeah, yeah! You left in such a bad mood last night, I figured you’d want a buddy with you, so I’m just going to go check in, ‘kay?”

Katsuki shook his head, continuing to just watch Izuku as Eijirou slipped out of the room. Their morning walk and shuttle ride was spent in mostly silence on Katsuki’s part, listening to Eijirou ramble on about everything and nothing. It was nice to have someone to talk to him to drown out his own thoughts if Izuku wasn’t there to do it.

He would have to thank his friend later… without actually thanking him of course, that would be insane, and wildly out of Katsuki’s emotional capabilities.

Katsuki was left in silence, barely able to keep himself from drifting into sleep again. Just being near Izuku set him at ease.

There was a time where Izuku being in his presence set him on edge. He would make him wholly anxious. Angry. Agitated . He didn’t know why Izuku got to him so much, and the feeling was left unidentified for so long. Katsuki stopped baring his teeth. He stopped scratching and clawing at the loving, offered hand. He welcomed Izuku in his space and that feeling became clearer. Less infuriating. Less confusing.

“ Deku …” Katsuki mumbled to himself, voice low and gravelly, sleep deprived and rough. He breathed deeply as colours filled his vision, sleep cocooning him like a warm blanket. Before a dream could form, Katsuki’s consciousness fell into the abyss; plummeting into the sweet embrace of slumber.

A knock ripped Katsuki out of sleep, head slipping out from his palm as he jolted with surprise. Drawing in a deep breath, Katsuki stretched, reaching his arms above his head, back cracking softly from sleeping in a strange, hunched position. Katsuki blinked tiredly, sitting up in his chair before rubbing his eyes to help wake himself up. He expected Eijirou to walk through that door with a bag of food he never asked for, insisting he eat something to keep his strength up, or something equally as stupidly thoughtful, but it was simply a nurse who nodded at him, and slid a chart into the rack on the wall. She didn’t even really spare him a second of attention, and left within seconds of making her appearance.

“She didn’t have to knock,” Katsuki grumbled, mildly annoyed from his sleep catch-up getting pointlessly interrupted, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Not like she was comin’ in on anything.” With a yawn, Katsuki looked over to Izuku, freezing completely when he laid his eyes on his boyfriend.

Tired, blown out, green eyes look back at him; wide and surprised. It seemed they were staring at him for a while, gaze flitting up and down his frame, brows drawn together slightly. He looked uncomfortable.

“Deku-” Katsuki’s voice caught in his throat, choking on his own tongue as an excitement he simply couldn’t contain bubbled up from within. “Deku- hey, Deku,” Katsuki rushed to get up from his seat, swallowing thickly as Izuku took his eyes off him to slowly look around the room. He looked confused, and perhaps unsure of what was happening. Katsuki knew he had to be gentle with him. Something he really needed to put more practice into.

Izuku clearly didn’t know what was going on. Maybe he didn’t even know where he was. Izuku was barely able to keep his eyes open long enough between the flutters of his eyelashes, eyes drying out from how long he must have been staring, a tired arm, cluttered with IV’s, moving to try and shield his face from the bright, LED lights above. Izuku squinted now, trying to focus his gaze on something, on anything, and settled back on him. Katsuki holds his breath, leaning over Izuku’s bed slightly, tongue wetting his lips. Izuku stared back at him, wordless, and almost shocked looking. 

“Deku… you’re awake ,” Katsuki breathed a sigh of relief, head hanging from his shoulders, a faint slime on his face; a private, intimate gesture reserved for Izuku. He had to fight the urge to smother the bedridden hero. “I thought you woulda been up all night since you were out for so long,” Katsuki muttered, voice still a bit heavy with his current state of exhaustion and sleep. “Actually, what time is it? ” Katsuki, for a brief moment, forgets about his phone, but without missing a beat Izuku pointed towards the clock above the door frame. Katsuki’s eyes follow where he’s pointed, blinking away the sleep in his eyes to focus on the clock face. 

“Right... Still can’t talk.” Katsuki reminds himself aloud, Izuku’s arm falling back onto the bed out of the corner of his peripheral vision. 

It’s still early - ten twenty-six

Where was Eijirou? He should have been back a long time ago...

They’d gotten there early, and it turned out he’d passed out for a good hour in that chair… maybe more. It felt like it had only been a couple minutes, but he wasn’t about to pass up sleep; especially when it had been so hard to get any as of late.

“Oi, shove over or I’m gonna sit on you.” Katsuki states, matter of fact. It wasn’t a question, so much as it was a demand, which became apparent with the way he was already lifting his leg up and onto the side of the bed. Izuku stared at him like a fish out of water, the metal wiring his jaw shut glinting along with the whites of his teeth as his lips parted. Katsuki could tell he wanted to say something, but gently nudged his shoulder, phone in hand. He had a few things to watch with Izuku. Katsuki specifically added things to his ‘Watch Later’ list for Deku, and with him in mind when he’d seen the recommendations

Forcing Izuku to make room for him, Katsuki crawled up onto the bed, and settled next to him. It was quite comical to have them both cozied up on that thin, single person hospital bed; made for a normally sized and proportioned human, and not two muscled, tall-ish men.

Regardless of how cramped it was, Katsuki revelled in it. He fit against Izuku’s side like a glove, curling around him, and slotting himself slightly above Izuku so he could get an arm behind his head. He could smell Izuku’s strange earthy scent, and feel his body heat against him, nose brushing over the other’s temple as he brought his phone up. “I’ve got something to show you. Might cheer you up.”

A video was already up on the screen and ready to be played, requiring only a tap. The volume was soft, but still loud enough that the two of them could easily hear within the quiet, empty hospital room. It was some interview of a new and upcoming hero-in-training Izuku had been fawning over, going on and on about how he was excited to work with them some day. Izuku admired them, which made no sense to Katsuki since the hero was younger than Izuku and exponentially weaker, but whatever made him happy, Katsuki was willing to tolerate at the very least.. 

“I kinda like the mute Deku, you should fuckin’ shut up once and awhile.” Katsuki chuckled lowly, lying through his damn teeth. He snickered at his poorly made ‘joke’, as if the other would laugh back, or say some retort. He could do neither, just staring at the screen of Katsuki's phone, stiff as a board, expression tense. A knot twisted in Katsuki’s stomach, clearing his throat when Izuku didn’t respond in any kind of way. Katsuki had never wanted to hear Izuku’s voice more than anything right now.

That proper, stupid, soft spoken, and dorky voice that would excitedly chatter through any movie. Movies he'd seen or hadn't seen, it did not matter. Nothing and no one was safe from Izuku’s random trivia, or any pertaining information that would spew from his mouth.

Katsuki does not get that. He doesn't even get any reaction to anything that could be close to the ones he was familiar with. Izuku is rigid, and awkward, not even seeming to enjoy the video he brought up, nor the closeness they shared. There's something off about it, and it makes Katsuki uncomfortable with the way he was clearly making Izuku uncomfortable. Was he in pain and unable to say anything about it?

Katsuki swallowed the million questions on his tongue, staring at Izuku’s profile with anxious anticipation. He lowered his phone, clenching his jaw at the way izuku kept staring ahead, not even following the video of the uppity hero-in-training excitedly answering the questions of the interviewer. 

Before Katsuki could muster up the courage to say anything, the door swung open, and a bouncy brunette entered stage left.. She was so happy to see Izuku awake that she dropped her purse carelessly onto the floor by the food of the bed, and excitedly sat herself down by Izuku’s knee, caring not for the lack of room for the patient. Ochaco took Izuku’s hand, holding it in her delicate one, soothing his twisted fingers with her own manicured ones, choosing not to comment on the fact that Katsuki hadn’t moved from sharing the hospital bed with Izuku, even upon her arrival. She knew Katsuki showed his weird and unconventional affection to Izuku in public, but she couldn’t help the few times she caught herself staring at Katsuki cuddling against Izuku’s side like a completely normal, non-emotionally constipated human being. The blond had trouble holding hands in public, so understandably the visual of them together was a bit strange and not a common sight. 

“Deku! You’re awake! I’m so happy to see you up and about! -well, not about, but you know what I mean! I didn’t mean to disturb you and Bakugou. I missed your touching reunion. What a sight that must’ve been, huh?” She laughed, winking as she patted his hand.

Even though he didn’t move a muscle, Katsuki glared daggers with explosive aggression that rivalled his quirk. Ochaco, ignoring him completely, continued to prattle on and on, telling him about how he’s been all over the news, and how so many people will be glad to know he was okay. Katsuki couldn't give two shits about whatever it was she was talking about, only that it was making Izuku’s shoulders more and more tense as she continued.

Fuck, this girl was annoying sometimes. She loved Izuku with all her heart. Cared about him, Worried about him. Izuku was lucky to have people like thata round him, but now of all times was when Katsuki wanted her to fuck off and leave Deku to him .

“Are you okay?” She asked, blinking owlishly at Izuku, concern worrying her perfectly plucked browline. “You’re looking a little green in the face, Deku.” Izuku cleared his throat, coughing a few times before trying, and failing to open his mouth. He simply bared his teeth with a shy smile, the metal wires now clear as day. Katsuki, too, leaned forward to get a little bit of a better look at the situation.

When she didn't get her desired verbal response, and was instead met with a mouth full of metal, she apologized quickly.  “Oh!” Ochako pointed to Izuku’s jaw. “I totally forgot you still couldn't speak! I’m so, so sorry, Deku! It completely slipped my mind!”

Izuku’s face went red, lifting up his hand meekly to wave at her as if he was saying it was okay, blinking nervously and squirming when she leaned in to get a better look at his jaw. She was curious in nature, and had little to no perception of personal space. Her and Katsuki could relate on that level at least.

“Wow, is that really going through your bone? That’s craaazy!” She whistled low, head tilted, and face too close to Izuku’s. “That’s so nasty! Does it taste bad? Can you even taste that metal? Can you even taste anything?”

It wasn’t a direct admission of discomfort, but the way Izuku leaned farther back into his pillows, pulling away from both Ochako and himself, Katsuki decided to step in.

“Hey, space-case, back off a bit, will ya?”

“Mmmm? Are you jealous , Bakugou?” Ochako sing-songed, teasing him, but she pulled away anyway, respecting the boundary Katsuki rarely enforced.

“Well that’s fine, I can stop asking him about his cool new grill ,” she laughed, waving him off as she got up momentarily to grab her purse back up. “Deku is still my captive audience, and we’re in the last few chapters of a very exciting book. You probably won’t remember Deku, but I think you’ll like the part where we left off, haha!”

Rolling his eyes, Katsuki opts to move, and slides off the bed, giving Izuku more space. He chose to ignore the way his boyfriend visibly relaxed when he removed himself from the mattress, and shoved his phone, and hands into his pockets. “I’m going to go get food. I’d ask if you want anything but…” Katsuki met Izuku’s uncertain gaze, glaze shifting to Ochako as she opened her mouth, a single finger raised.

“Could you get me-”

“I just don’t care what you want.”

Ochako shut her mouth quickly, frowning as she waved the book in his direction.

“You’re so rude!!”

“Yeah yeah, milk tea or something. I know your shitty, sugar-addicted taste buds.”

“Thank you!!” Ochako called after him as he left the room, Izuku staring down at his hands the whole time, white knuckled fingers curled tightly into the sheets.

Katsuki wasn’t gone for long, ten minutes tops. The hospital café line was short, but that was little to no surprise to Katsuki. Hospital food was something you got when you were desperate. Katsuki got a simple egg sandwich, because how could someone fuck up an egg sandwich. And lastly, Ochako’s drink - that was made with so much syrup that Katsuki’s teeth hurt just looking at it.

When he came back, shouldering open the door, his pace lagged behind a few steps at the sight he was met with. Ochako sat there looking very serious, The book closed and folded in her lap. Izuku was looking away from both of them and towards the window, shoulders drawn up and trembling.

“The hell is going on?” Katsuki asked cautiously, Ochako jumping in place when he broke the silence. Izuku didn’t move, flinching as Katsuki approached the side of the bed to give Ochako her drink.

“Ah- umm… nothing really,” Ochako cleared her throat, and tucked the book back in her purse before standing, and gratefully taking the drink.

“So, what, you get me to buy you a drink, and then you dip?”

“Oh well… I just thought of something I had to do before you came! So I have to go do that! Yep ! I’ll you later Bakugou! You too, Deku!” Ochako set him with a stare Katsuki didn’t quite understand, then glanced at Izuku before making her way to the door.

“Oh…’ kay ?” Katsuki blinked, frowning as she turned back to look at him over her shoulder, then pointedly back at Izuku. Katsuki followed her gaze, then looked back at her, shaking his head with a shrug. He had no idea what she was trying to tell him and it was getting on his nerves.

Ochako huffed and quickly pulled out her phone, writing something at expert speed. It took her less than three seconds to write something, then his phone gave an alert, buzzing in his pocket. Ochako looked at him again, then gave a small wave with an anxious expression.

When Katsuki pulled his phone out, the text preview that greeted him made his heart drop.

TXT: Something is wrong with Deku…

Katsuki stared at the text, and kept his eyes on the screen long after it went black, trying to figure out just what she meant. Something was wrong with him? How? When? What was it? Would it have killed her to clarify?

“Deku?” Katsuki called to Izuku hesitantly, slowly sliding his phone back into his pocket, a lump in his throat. “Are you doing okay?”

Izuku was already waiting, looking at him when Katsuki turned his attention back to his boyfriend. Izuku doesn’t answer, nor does he give him anything besides a hard, calculating stare. He didn’t move, just sitting there, motionless, clearly conscious and able to respond in some sort of way, but instead left Katsuki to squirm and wait.

“Hey-” Katsuki reached out for his head with the intent of running his fingers through Izuku’s hair, but the other winced, pulling away so fast it shocked them both. Izuku looked like he was a kid about to get in trouble, face red, eyes downcast, lips pressed tightly together. Katsuki pulled his hand back to himself, laying it flat over his solar plexus. 

Chalking the odd way Izuku flinched away from his touch up to the post-traumatic experience of having your head smashed in would have been too easy. Katsuki’s brain immediately started spewing self-deprecating shit at him from all angles. Did he think Katsuki would hurt him? Did he want him to leave? Did he not want him to touch him anymore? Was he mad at him for almost getting him killed? Did he blame him? Could he not forgive him?

It wasn’t enough that Izuku now looked at him weird, but not Katsuki was worried that there really was something wrong that the other couldn’t voice.

Katsuki stayed quiet, not even bothering to go on his phone. He didn’t even look at Izuku while he settled back in his chair. Katsuki simply sat. He stayed there for God knows how long, only breaking his staring contest with the door handle when Izuku's head started drooping, eyes sleepily fluttering closed.

“We're taking several days off after this. Maybe weeks.” Katsuki says to himself, relief washing over him as Izuku’s expression becomes neutral again as he falls asleep. After Izuku is happily snoring off in dream land, Katsuki stood up, sparing Izuku one last longing look before leaving.

“Hey, man!”   Katsuki held the phone away from his face as Eijirou greeted him from the other end, turning off the sink as he just so happened to finish up cleaning after dinner. “Mind if I pop by quickly? I have info from the boss man to give you about tomorrow's job! -which, by the way, sorry I just vanished! I had to head to the agency cause-”

“Yeah, whatever, I get it. You ain’t bringing any extras, are you? ‘Cause if you think we’re getting wasted in my living room, you’d be fuckin’ wrong.”

“What? No, no, Baku-bro, you don’t gotta worry about that.”

“Fine. I’m still up. Don’t expect me to put on pants or something just for some shitty papers.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it! I’ll be there in thirty? Fourty-five minutes maybe? That good?”

“It’s whatever.”

Katsuki had a low tolerance for most people. The exceptions were his friends, the redhead being forgiven more often than others, alongside his shitty nerd of a boyfriend.

“So I wanted to ask you about Izuku. How’d it go, man? Everything you were hoping for and more? Think you can sleep easy now knowing he’s up?”

“I never told you he woke up. So who’d you talk to about him before me, huh?” Katsuki wondered, absently putting dishes away in the cupboards, but not before wiping off the water with a small, grey dishrag.

“Well, Ochako called Mina, and she got off before I did, so she came to see me. SO, you know. The grapevine.”

Humming, Katsuki nodded his head, neck tense, muscles flexing as he spoke again.

“So, she must have told you how weird he’s being.”

“I heard he was acting… different, but not weird. He had a good couple blows to the head, man. Who knows if he’s seeing different colours or somethin’ right now.”

“Still,” Katsuki hissed, still irked by the whole situation.

It bothers him the way Izuku looked at him, and it doesn't take a genius to know something was bothering Katsuki. Fortunately, someone who wasn't a genius was there to spot it and ask:

“You okay, Katsuki? Normally, you just shrug this stuff off, scold Izuku, and move on like it’s nothin’.”

“I dunno.” He responds too quickly, dismissing the concern from Eijirou. “I don’t want to talk about it, so just leave it.”

“Okay, well, whatever you say, man. I’m here for you, you know? I'll be there tomorrow, too. I’ll come with you after work to see Izuku. And, as a bonus, I won't even stay that long! Then you can spend more time with your lover boy. I’ll try to take anyone else in the room with me!”   Eijirou laughed, and Katsuki could hear that grin coming through the phone.

“Yeah. See you soon.”

The next day, Katsuki is late. He slept in despite the three alarms he had set, and the few phone calls from Eijirou.. Enji would lecture him, no doubt, but when Katsuki got into the office, there was no one in sight besides costume management, customer intake, and the big boss himself, sitting at Katsuki’s station like he was expecting him.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” Katsuki scratched his cheek, looking away as the hulking beast of a man pushed away from Katsuki’s desk, arms flexing as he folded them over his chest.

“I understand you’re having a problematic time right now, Bakugou. Maybe you should go home.”

Katsuki did a double take at Enji, not used to such gentle language- or at least as gentle as it’s ever been, coming from the red hot hero that took them under his wing so long ago. It was recommended he take a few days off from work, but to be offered more from Enji was almost unheard off.

“You treating me like some kinda weakling? You think I can’t fuckin’ work? Hah!?”

“I never said that,” Enji frowned, eyes narrow and strict. “I thought you might have been with Midoriya. I know it’s important to be with family in their time of need.”

“Puh-lease! Ain’t that rich coming from you.”

“So be it. Then why don’t you go join Red Riot and those rookies. I’m sure the client would feel better with you there, too.” Enji waved his hand, muscles rippling in his casual clothes, making him look almost comical in a regular, long sleeved shirt, and a pair of slacks.

When Katsuki arrived on the scene, Eijirou was already there, giving one too many pep talks to the rookies of their agency than necessary for a job as simple as the one they were tasked with. Their client was nothing but a money grubbing talk show host, making all their money off the heroic and wild stories of the heroes they featured left and right. They were a “high profile celebrity”, and saw fit to request the utilization of  the talents under employment of Endeavor’s agency. It was a fucking waste of time, is what Katsuki thought the entire time they stood guard. They were nothing but glorified chaperones.

There was one incident of a crazed fan breaking free from the restraints set up around the restaurant that the tv personality was eating at, but the rookies managed to wrangle the riff raff with a single sweep of Katsuki’s hand.

It was kind of nice having the overeager newbies around. They were kind of like dogs. Katsuki said “sick ‘em” and off they went.

After two and a half hours of standing around doing nothing in particular, the talk show host emerged with his guests, a movie star looking lady hanging off his arm. The guy was surprisingly short, stocky, and struggled to keep up with the woman on his arm. His grin was wide and charismatic, his laugh booming and annoying.

“Hey! The number one bomber hero!!! You made it!” The man looked past his clients, walking towards Katsuki like they were old friends, with his gaggle of yes men and women following behind. Katsuki struggled to remember names of people on a regular, everyday basis. He wasn’t about to yoink the mans name out of thin air, and he sure as hell didn’t read the summary of this guy's protection claus the night before when Eijirou dropped it off, so with tight lips, Katsuki leaned into Eijirou and spoke quickly.

“The fuck is this guys name?”

“Eh?” Eijirou blinked, “Oh, it’s Sanji. Sanji Romanju. Hosts this show ca-”

“ Don’t care- ” Katsuki cleared his throat and stood up straight, wearing a stern expression. “Mr. Romanju. You enjoyed your lunch, I take it?”

“Why, of course! Especially knowing you and Red Riot are looking out for me! Haha!” The grubby faced little man snorted and chortled like he was saying something funny. “Now, Mister Dynamight, big man on the streets and up and coming number one, huh? I heard someone very close to you was the reason you hadn’t shown up in the first place. I do hope they’re okay.”

Katsuki smiled begrudgingly, brow twitching in annoyance. This wasn't part of the job. Why the fuck didnt they just pack up and go so Katsuki could get to that said person-

“Hey now, hey now,” Eijirou cut in, the rookies lined up behind then exchanging nervous glances, knowing just how touchy their superior was. “You’re going to have to get an interview if you want to harass my friend here, Mr. Romanju!”

“Of course!” He snorted, the girl on his arm tittering.

“It’s my fault really! I heard about your short leave on the news. I was just hoping my Romey here might ask you how you were. You have a lot of concerned fans!” She sounded sickeningly sweet. Like melted sugar. Fake and putting on a show.

Gross .

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m not who people should be worried about.”

Eijirou practically had a ballistic meter installed, intervening before Katsuki could be pressed any further.

“Anyway! My team here,” Eijirou motioned to the few heroes in training behind him, their chests puffed out, “is very talented, and ready to escort you to your vehicle right over there!”

Thank God for Eijirou. Smiles and ready to face the public if Katsuki wasn’t in the mood to. Izuku would just naturally bring him along in his wake. He was swept up in his positivity as he bounced from fan to fan. It was hard not to get wrapped up in the sparkle and appeal of standing next to him. It was his charm. Watching Izuku, Mina, Ochako and Eijirou feed off the fans' energy together was a terrifying sight to behold.

“Oh, well bye-bye heroes! Thank you for protecting us!” The woman calls back to them cheerily as the television host begins speaking with his guests again, put off by Katsuki’s refusal to go along with his questions, and Eijirous deflection from doing so in the first place.

“Well, that’s that, I guess. Was a pretty easy job today! We were lucky.”

“ Lucky ?” Katsuki glared at Eijirou, hands on his hips, the gauntlets cutting into the crook of his elbows. “This is pathetic. We should be out chasing bad guys and-”

“And what? Taking your frustration out on some dude lifting a candy bar? Man, we have cops for that. You know how many villains want that guy dead?” Eijirou jabbed a thumb over his shoulder at Mr. Romanju, who was being helped into his limousine like a little child by the rookies.”Of course we were lucky. Even I know that.”

“Tch-” Katsuki turned his head away, shoe scuffing the pavement of the sidewalk. “At least I can go see Deku now, right? Job done?”

“Well, I mean, we’re still in our hero gear, so maybe we should head back with the kids and get changed?”

“Fuck that. I’ll just bring my gear back in the morning. You comin’ or not?”

“I… yeah- just wait though. One sec. Pass me your gauntlets.”

Katsuki raised a brow, but shimmied them off and passed them to Eijirou wordlessly, not doubting him. Katsuki wasn’t surprised to watch his friend run over to the rookies, and hand them his gauntlets and a few pieces of his own clunky gear, bowing with thanks as they all nodded enthusiastically back at him. They were good kids.

On their walk to the hospital that turned into more of a rooftop to rooftop race between the two of them, they shouted back and forth about a vacation that was long overdue. Some raunchy comments were thrown back and forth, suggestions for each other of destinations and activities, and casual quips made between heavy breaths. Katsuki’s palms ached as he sent himself soaring, hair whipping around his face, the wind stinging his skin. Travelling through the sky was always so much more efficient.

Katsuki landed in front of the hospital a good two to three minutes before Eijirou arrived, huffing and puffing all the while.

“Bro, you couldn’t wait!?” Eijirou complained, slapping his hands together as he stretched above his head. A few bystanders gasped in awe, watching the two heroes as they entered the hospital. “You didn’t even wait to see if I was still following! Where’s your loyalty?”

“I didn’t even think you were gonna make it. You’re lucky I waited.” Katsuki grumbled, shoulders rolling as he motioned to the head nurse. She set back to work, only acknowledging him and Eijirou as they made their way past the desk, and through the doors as they buzzed, granting them access.

“Hey, at least, you aren't covered in sweat and dirt, right? Izuku won’t tell you that you stink or something.”

“I smell fucking fantastic. Shut the hell up.”

“You have not smelled yourself after a fight then, my dude. You smell like tar.”

“That ain’t what Deku says,” Katsuki glanced at his friend with a small smirk on his face.

“What? No way, don’t tell me he actually likes it? Damn. Even Mina wants me to shower all the time. She can’t appreciate how manly I smell after a fight.” Eijirou dragged his hands down his face, head tilted back in woe as they approached Izuku’s room. “I love how she smells no matter what, you know?”

“And that’s because you fucking reek like a high school gym locker. She’s a chick. They have body butter and shit.”

Eijirou groans, patting his cheeks, Katsuki rolling his eyes as he grabs the handle of the door. When they walked through it, both heroes were surprised to find a fair amount of people occupying the room. Tenya, Ochaco and Inko are all huddled around Izuku’s bed. There weren’t many, but with Katsuki’s and Eijirou being added to the count, it was becoming a tad cramped.

Izuku looked up from his lap, blinking a few times before offering a small, shy wave. In his lap was a white board, a marker clenched in his right fist. Written on the board, it said “That’s funny!” Izuku held it up, and tapped the board, drawing everyone's attention back to him.

“I’m glad you liked that story!” Tenya said loudly, thrusting his hands forward with vigor as he plastered a large, almost-fake grin on his face.

“Hey,” Katsuki raised a hand in a small greeting, Eijirou closing the door behind them so as to not disturb anyone with their rowdy party.

“Oh, Katsuki,” Inko smiled, motioning for him to approach. “Look what Uraraka brought for Izuku! Isn’t this smart thinking? Recovery girl will be removing the wires tomorrow, but for now this should help him communicate!”

“That’s great,” Katsuki humored his would-be mother-in-law, wearing a gentle expression as he came to stand where Ochako sat at the foot of Izuku’s bed, and touched her shoulder with the back of his knuckles.

She smiled brightly, clearly pleased with herself, and looked up to Katsuki with a quizzical brow raised.

“Thanks,” Katsuki said under his breath, catching her off guard for a second as her cheeks heated.

“N-not a problem! I thought it would be a lot less frustrating for him this way!”

Katsuki nodded, moving to kneel on the bed to sit beside Izuku, heart sinking when the other froze up just like the day before.

“What have you two been up to?” Tenya asked looking up from Izuku to glance at Eijirou, then back to katsuki.

“Had a job as a bodyguard today.”

“Yeah, Bakubro looked dead on his feet, but the kids did so well! I’m really proud of those lil’ rookies!” Eijirou cheered louder than necessary, grinning ear to ear. “It was actually a job for someone you know, Uraraka! That TV host who you said harassed you backstage. The Romanju guy.”

“Oh, gross!” She stuck her tongue out, shaking her head at the memory of her own interview from a few months prior with the grubby little tell of a man. “He’s such a creep.”

“Yeah, he’s not too great,” Eijirou laughed.

Tenya began to chastise both of them for mocking a man who had hired them both and gave them jobs for the most part. Katsuki leaned away from Izuku, watching him with interest as the shorter man looked between them all, confusion written all over his face.

“Hey, Deku,” Grabbing hold of the white board, Izuku jumped when his nick-name was called, Katsuki pulling the tool towards himself before setting it down, and whipping off the words written with his hands. “Talk to me, nerd. How are you feeling?”

Being stared at would put anyone on edge, but the way Izuku had his eyes locked on him was starting to make Katsuki feel like a bug.

“What...what is it?” Katsuki asked cautiously, Izuku taking a few more seconds to spring into action. Katsuki released the board when it was taken from him, watching as Izuku hurriedly scribbled across it.

What’s up with your costumes?

Their costumes?

Looking down at himself, Katsuki took in his appearance, nose scrunched as he set his perplexed gaze back to Izuku. “Just came back from a job? I don’t know what you mean. I mean, the rookies took some gear back so I didn’t have to wear it home.”

None of that seemed to clear up Izuku’s expression of blatant confusion. Wiping off the board, Izuku set to work writing again.

A job?

Katsuki narrowed his eyes at the board, pursing his lips as Eijirou leaned in and answered, their friends growing quiet. “Yeah, man, a job. You know what a job is, bro. Just how hard did you hit your head?” Eijirou laughed good naturedly, but Ochako got quiet while Tenya joined in the chortling. Katsuki stayed quiet, watching Izuku’s wrapped hand.

With what’s written the mood of the room shifts.

Is that allowed? Aren’t you missing too much school? When did you and Kacchan get jobs?

The rapidly dropping mood plummets, and an awkward silence swallows the room. Everyone is staring at the words written on the board, speechless. Inko raises an anxious hand toward Izuku, but retracts it when Izuku starts erasing again to jot something else down.

Katsuki is stuck, paralyzed in place, a cold, tingling dread washing over him like frigid water.

What was happening?

The board was being hidden, Izuku holding it close to himself, body turned in such a way where Katsuki couldn’t watch or see what he was writing down. When he was done, he looked around nervously, eyes finally landing on Katsuki before he motioned for Ochako to take the board.

Leaning forward, arms held out to take the board, Izuku turned it to her, tapping it with the pen impatiently, an expectant look on his face as he motioned to Katsuki with a not-so-subtle jerk of his head. Tenya, being right beside her, also leaned in to read what was written. 

Ochaco’s mouth popped open, re-reading what was written at least three times over, wide eyed and shocked as she brought her hand to her mouth. Tenya is looked skeptically towards Izuku, unmoving from his seat in the chair.

Holding the pen out for either of them to answer his ‘secret’ question didn’t seem to be working, his two friends glancing at each other in a secret plea for the other to take the reins. Izuku gets impatient, searching eyes turning to his mother instead as he turned the board slightly for her to read the question instead.

A small gasp escaped her, Inko wringing her wrists in front of her.

“Izuku… Oh, honey ,” Inko brought a hand to her mouth, shaking her head, as if trying to convince herself something terrible wasn’t happening. 

“What is it?” Katsuki squinted with one eye, jaw jutting a little, slightly annoyed by the little corner of secrets going on in front of him.

Casting his gaze towards Katsuki, Tenya swallows, and the blond does not like the way he’s looking at him. There’s a thick, foggy feeling of dread that hangs heavy in the room. Weighing down heavily on all of their shoulders, and even harder still as the seconds tick by on the clock.

“What did he write?” Katsuki’s already thin patience got thinner and thinner the more Izuku leaned away from him. He needed to see what was on that board. “Let me see, Deku-” When Katsuki suddenly reaches for the board, Izuku draws his knees up and Tenya stands up to try and stop Katsuki.

“Bakugou, he needs rest-”

“Shut up!” Katsuki slapped Tenya’s arm away, snatching the board out of Ochako’s hands, and flipped it over to read it.

Why is Kacchan here? He’s been acting weird .

“What?” Katsuki licked his lips, frowning deeply. What the hell did that even mean? Of course he would be here. Why would they be in school? Why wouldn't they have jobs? Of course they would, Izuku worked with him- 

Eijirou stepped closer to Katsuki, ready to help restrain the explosive hero if he popped a gasket, all while casually looking over his shoulder to read the board.

“I’m with you there, Baku-bro… what ?” Eijirou stroked his chin, his other hand on his hip. “You okay, Izuku?”

Katsuki had this horrible feeling in his gut for days. He was afraid of something terrible happening. He knew something would be wrong. There was a reason he couldn’t sleep. How did he know that his idiot of a boyfriend would go and get himself fucked up so bad he didn’t even remember what fucking year he woke up in? What they were to each other. His hands are visibly shaking, and- damn it, why won’t he stop shaking?!-

Thursting the board back at Izuku, Katsuki fixated an intense glare at Izuku. “What the hell do you mean by that, Deku?” Izuku flinched as the plastic was pressed against his chest, Katsuki firmly holding it there; waiting for an answer despite prohibiting Izuku from actually using the thing that would give it to him. 

Ochako cleared her throat, seeing the fear and uncertainty on Izuku’s face, figuring she could probably help the situation with a calm answer to izuku’s questions first.

“Deku, we graduated a little more than a year ago.” The way Izuku did a double take, flabbergasted, was almost expected. Everyone was surprised to hear a muffled, barely recognizable “ whAT!? ”

A hand belonging to his mother touches his head, Izuku’s breathing growing heavier and heavier, eventually turning into full-on dry heaving  through his nose. Izuku bore into Ochako with unbelieving eyes, almost begging her to tell him she was joking. Another muffled slew of words left him, unintelligible from the wires in his jaw.

“ Deku! ”

All eyes were on Katsuki.

“Calm the fuck down. You’re going to hurt yourself or some shit!” Katsuki released the board on izuku’s chest, pointing at it with his own shaky hand. “What year?”

Izuku scrunched his brow, wondering what he meant by that and quickly wrote down a “What?” on the board.

“What year in UA?!  What’s the last thing you remember, stupid!?” 

“I believe Bakugou is referring to your grade year,” Tenya supplied, immediately realizing what Katsuki was getting at.

Tenth grade. First year. Izuku writes.

That thick, gross feeling in the room only increased, Katsuki felt like he was drowning, unable to breath as the heavy implications of what this meant crawled down his throat.

“What IS the last thing you remember, Deku?” Ochaco asked, trying to sound positive and encouraging.

Eijirou stood a little closer to Katsuki, expecting a full-on meltdown.

Izuku sets to work again on the board.

Nothing special. Just another day in the dorms. I think it was snowing outside.

Katsuki’s eyes widen, nostrils flared as Inko pets her son’s head. The blond is livid. Izuku’s gaze shifts as he stares up at everyone with teary eyes, panic visibly setting into him.

You all look older. Something happened. Didn’t it?

“It’s okay, Izuku, we’ll get everything sorted out. Everything will be fine, alright?” Inko replied quickly, trying to comfort Izuku by combing her fingers through that messy mop of green, but she appeared to just be getting more worked up. “It will be okay”

I trust you.

Izuku’s smile quivered, holding up the board. Everyone in the room smiled back at him. Everyone, except for Katsuki. 

Katsuki’s shoulders trembled, all his training and work on containing his bubbling rage was failing and letting him down. His face is downcast, body turned away from Izuku now. He stared down at his boots and the floor, as if looking past them into the floor below them. His hands balled into tight fists, heart and brain in absolute discourse. He blamed himself more than anything now.

A nervous smile is turned towards Katsuki from Eijirou as he reaches a hand over to place it on his shoulder. The redhead was always the best at stifling and redirecting the raging storm that was Katsuki Bakugou, but this was different. There was not a physical source causing the anger. There was nothing for Eijirou to pull Katsuki away from besides the love of his life, his everything- someone who didn’t even remember him for who he was now.

Katsuki’s rage was matched with a sorrow that plagued him only on the few occasions when he was forced to gather up a mangled body of Izuku, or left to watch helplessly from the sidelines.

The board was being erased again, Katsuki could hear the words being scrubbed away behind him. When he looked over his shoulder, he found Izuku writing something down with a meek smile. He held up the board again, only this time looking directly at Katsuki with a toothy grin that showed all the wires in his mouth. 

So we finally became good friends! I am glad!

“Oh, man. This is rough…” Eijirou bit at his thumb nail, anxiously crossing his arms across his chest. He still stood beside Katsuki, hissing in pain when he bit too close to his actual thumb when two muffled explosions go off in Katsuki’s closed fists. 

“ FUCK !”

Katsuki jumps up from his seat on the bed, hands flying up to scrub through his hair, pushing the wheat blond spikes out of his eyes, and back over his forehead. He was in shock. He couldn’t contain himself. Izuku flinching away from his every move made sense now. It made painful, heart-clenching sense.

“ Fuck this, ” Katsuki takes off in a fast paced walk, making an audible scuffs with his boots. “I’m looking for the doctor!” Everyone looked back to Izuku as Eijirou dashed off after the blond, ready to save an innocent doctor from the choke hold.

“Something as ‘ simple’ as memory loss?! This isn’t simple, it’s a huge FUCKING PROBLEM!” Katsuki slammed the doctor’s back against the wall, the man wincing as Eijirou rushed to try and aid the poor man, and rescue him from Katsuki’s assault. “Why were we all sitting in there, no fucking clue this happened? What kind of a crock is looking after MY Deku!? Huh!? Did you guys eat stupid pills today? DIdn’t even assess him after he woke up!?”

“S-sir, Mr Bakugou, you have to understand, there’s not much we can do at this point-”

“The hell!? The fucking shit you mean? Are you saying it's not a big deal?!”

“Bakugou! C’mon, man! Back off, it’s not his fault!” Eijirou had half the mind to harden his hand, and basically rip Katsuki off of the doctor. Pulling roughly at Katsuki’s arm, Eijirou managed to yank the blond away, but Katsuki just brought the doctor with him, refusing to let go.

“Isn’t this all covered in the check-up? DId you… really- really not test him? You’re telling me that him not remembering the last several years of his life is a minor problem , shitface?!” 

“It’s… unfortunate, but there’s nothing I can do. Mr Midoriya is lively, healed, healthy, and nothing seems to be wrong with him aside from some age regression from amnesia. Not a lot of people walk away from a trauma such as his with all their ducks in a row.” The doctor sounds annoyed, frowning back at him as he tried to wrestle his collar out of Katsuki’s hands.

Katsuki should have known better than to act like this. He knew that. But, right now... “Then who can?! Is this… is this permanent!?” Katsuki was getting hysterical, a crazed look in his eye as he shook the doctor. 

“Bakugou! That’s enough !” Eijirou finally gave in, using his quirk to harden all of his body. He knew he might hurt Katsuki in the process, but at that point, it was necessary.  Taking Katsuki’s wrist in a vice grip, Eijirou squeezed , meeting the vicious glare directed at him with equal parts stubbornness. He didn’t fear Katsuki’s wrath, and that was the part of him that made him both the most annoying, and one his most helpful friends. 

Katsuki’s attention shifts from the doctor to Eijirou, slowly at first, but then wholly as he tried to contain his anger. Slowly, with careful words, Katsuki seethed, “You better get your fucking hands off me.” 

The Sturdy Hero could handle it, refusing to let go. “This guy saved Midoriya’s life! He’s a brain surgeon, man, he took care of the hardcore shit! We’re lucky Midoriya’s not, like, dead right now!”

Katsuki loosens his grip on the doctor, shoving him back. “Dammit!” He started a slew of curses at Eijirou for making sense. He hated when it was Eijirou who talked sense into him. Talking wasn't even his strong suit. “Hair For Brains, you fucking son of a bitch. Shut the fuck up. This-.... this...” Katsuki motioned at the doctor who was trying to tidy himself up, inspecting his clothes and straightening his tie.

“I know, man…” Eijirou laid a hand between Katsuki’s heaving shoulder blades, patting him reassuringly. “I know.”

“I cannot imagine how upset you are, or how this drastic change will affect your lives, but there is nothing that can be done medically.” The doctor cleared his throat, speaking as soon as Katsuki stopped running his mouth under his breath. “There’s no way of telling if, or when, Mr. Midoriya will regain his memories. They could return on their own, or perhaps be triggered by something.” The man’s tone becomes serious, “Mr Bakugou, you are a startlingly aggressive person, and quick to anger. Pressuring him and getting frustrated when he cannot remember will not help him. Be patient, and hopefully the memories will return to him in due time. He must live his everyday, normal life. That is the best you can do for him.”

Katsuki didn’t dare go back. Not now.

Not that night.

Again he laid awake, even though Izuku was conscious.

Would he ever get Izuku back? What was he suppose to tell him? That they were together? That they slept together? Lived together? Ate together? That he loved him?

Maybe that would jog some memories if he told him he loved him.

Katsuki remembered Izuku saying something about committing the first time Katsuki said it to memory. But he would have to take it slow. He didn’t want to scare Izuku.

Leaning against the wall outside of Izuku’s hospital room, Katsuki waited. Izuku, nor Inko knew he was there, just a few steps away. He didn’t want them to know yet. He didn’t know if he did want them to know. But he needed to hear Izuku’s voice.

God, did he ever want to hear his voice.

Katsuki straightened up when the door opened and Recovery Girl came shuffling out, followed by that very same doctor he’d been ready to blow up the other day. He held his clipboard close, fixing Katsuki with one of the nastiest looks a doctor had ever given him. He said nothing to Katsuki, simply turning his head and walked away without words. Recovery Girl, shaking and much too old to be working anymore, pat his knee before she started to follow her colleague.

“Go easy on him, Sonny. He’s very overwhelmed.”

The door was left open, Inko meeting his gaze, silent but kind. Katsuki stood outside the door, unable to move for the moment, scared to step into the hospital room and make the hell on earth where Izuku didn’t know him real. There was no one in there but Inko and Izuku. Nothing scary besides the possibility of their future at stake.

“Come in, Katsuki. Please.” Inko motioned to him, releasing papers in her hands. He wasn’t sure if they were filled out yet, but Katsuki wasn’t sure if he was ready for Izuku to be released.

“Izuku, how do you feel, honey?”

The wires had been removed from Izuku’s jaw, and Katsuki could hear Izuku laugh, assuring the older woman that he felt fine and in good health. His heart felt like it ripped a little when he heard the soft tone of Izuku’s boyish voice. 

“My jaw still hurts. But it’s more stiff than anything, I guess.”

Katsuki stood in the doorway, still unable to step through it into the threshold, watching as Izuku gazed at him with a nervous, crooked smile. It was something he was accustomed to seeing, but it wasn’t really all that sincere. Katsuki could see through the front. Izuku always smiled with his eyes, and the look he was being given was anything but honest.

“I can’t wait to eat real food. I feel like I could eat a whole horse.”

To say that Izuku possessed the appetite of some Eldritch horror, ready to devour all of what was put in front of him was an understatement. Izuku was a bottomless pit, but only when it came to eating good food.

“Well, thank goodness that Katsuki is a wonderful cook!” Inko’s laugh was strained, gently cupping Izuku’s cheek before setting back to work on filling out the release forms on the whiteboard that still sat over Izuku’s lap.

“Ahh… that’s great? But I'd really like it if you made some katsudon when we get home?” Izuku asked, anxiously worrying about the sheets between his bare toes.

At that moment Katsuki decided to step into the room. The horrible reality of what was happening was happening whether he liked it or not. Izuku would remember him. He had to.

“I can make it for you. No problem, Deku.” Katsuki tried to put his misery and dread to rest, putting on a brave face for Izuku as he tried to smile, staring at his boyfriend with darkened red eyes.

The look was very obviously unappreciated by Izuku, who looked at him like he was an alien.

Inko smiled, lips tight and strained. “I wouldn’t mind having you over for supper. As long as Katsuki here wouldn’t mind cooking for three?”

It’s a fair enough reaction when Izuku only blinks at her, then at Katsuki, as if he would explain. The man could barely hold it together as it was, and the situation was getting increasingly more infuriating. He wanted Izuku to look at him. Remember him. Have some kind of brain blast- and epiphone. He wanted Izuku to remember that he loved him, and that they shared a life. He wanted him to remember all their dreams, now interwoven into one big vision of success.

“Have me over?” Izuku questioned dumbly, realizing hitting him like a brick in the next second.  “O-oh… ha… I guess I don’t live with you anymore... do I?” He laughed sheepishly, trying to stay calm about his whole life jumping forward a good few years. The sad thing was, he was doing a much better job of hiding his panic than Katsuki. “This… This is so weird.”

Inko nodded, trying to keep the mood light with her tone and inflection. “You’re all grown up now, out on your own in the world. But I guess I can’t say you’re all alone, since the only reason you ever moved was thanks to Katsuki here. You were so emotional the day you moved,” inko almost swooned, smiling to herself. “My little boy was all teary eyed, telling me he’d miss me! I was so taken back by it, that I found myself crying too!”

“So… Kacchan… made me move?” Izuku looked between the two of them skeptically.

“I didn’t make you do shit. You moved in with me because you wanted to.”

He wasn’t about to tell him that Izuku had eventually moved out with Katsuki because they were both tired of being adult men, sneaking around in their parents houses like sick, delinquent teenagers. What proved to be the real kick in the pants is when there was an awkward gift basket of condoms and a safe sex pamphlet on Katsuki’s bed. His mother was a real treat.

“I live with Kacchan?!” The shock in Izuku’s voice almost hurt, but Katsuki was gritting his teeth as the way Izuku looked at him with disbelief brought a heavy weight pile driving into his chest. “Wait, no, that just doesn’t sound right, mom. Katsuki ? Bakugou!? ” Izuku was surprised by her lack of formality in the beginning when she had been addressing Katsuki, but laughed nervously as he figured if they’d become friends, his mom would know Kacchan well enough. He clearly didn't expect to have moved out into a happy, cozy little home with Katsuki of all things.

“Izuku, sweetie, a-about…  About Katsuki…”

The cautious expression worried Izuku, his hysterical, uneasy chuckling ceasing the moment he watched Katsuki's expression turn serious.

“You and him…”

Izuku stared at his mother as she sighed, bringing a hand to her mouth as she stared at the floor, obviously not sure how to go about saying her next few words. She was thinking carefully, trying to tiptoe around Izuku.

“Me and Kacchan…?” Izuku’s Adam’s Apple bobbed as he swallowed, egging his mom to continue, brow creasing as she continued to not speak. “ Mom …?”

The only way to help Izuku remember was to be upfront with him. Katsuki was not one to pussyfoot around.

“You and I are in a relationship.” 

Katsuki’s words jolted both Inko and Izuku out of their comfort zone.
Izuku stares ahead of himself, bleary memories from when he’d just woken up flooding his mind. Everything was blurry. It was all too bright, and the words spoken to him made little to no sense at all. He distinctly remembered his hand being held in a vice grip. He remembered the soothing thumb that stroked his knuckles, and the feeling of a warm mouth kissing his forehead. He remembered thinking he was dreaming because when the person pulled away, he swore he saw red eyes and a head of wild blond hair. 

Katsuki? Kacchan and him? Together?

Izuku reaches a shaky hand to touch his lips, looking up at Katsuki through dark lashes as he blinked away a strange sting in his eyes. “We were… in a relationship? Like… together? ”

“Oh, Izuku...” Inko reached into her pocket, pulling out her phone. Izuku wondered what she was doing, but soon found out as she turned the phone to him, expecting him to take it and inspect the picture she’d pulled up.

Holding the phone up to his face, inspecting the picture like it was doctored in some way, Izuku stared down at a picture of himself, his mom and Katsuki. The photo was taken in selfie-mode, clearly by his mother since only her shoulders barely fit in the frame. She wore a silly, sparkly headband with two little antennae sticking off of it, tiny santa faces stuck onto the end. One of the Santa’s was pressed against Katsuki’s cheek, and dangerously close to bouncing up and poking him in the eye. Izuku’s own face was pressed flush against the blond, lips puckered to give Katsuki’s cheek a kiss as he looked mischievously at the camera out of the corner of his eye. He had an arm wrapped around the front of his mom’s neck in a hug, and the other around Katsuki’s shoulders to pull him into the picture. Katsuki had a carnal grin on his face, but his eyes were wide and devoid of any anger whatsoever. The emotions he saw in Katsuki there are so foreign to Izuku, yet something inside him twinged with familiarity.

Izuku stares, for what seemed like too long. The picture was all the proof he needed, but still his face remained scrunched in unease and something like border-line disgust. “I… I don’t remember.”

“It’s going to be alright, Izuku. The doctor says it will just take time to slowly start remembering again.”

Katsuki appreciated that she left no option than to remember. There was no way in hell he was about to give the option of Izuku not remembering, and she shared that sentiment. 

“Do you think so…?” Izuku was still staring at the photo, voice quiet. “I think… I think this is wrong. I mean- how could we-”

“We are. Better believe it, Deku.” Katsuki cut him off, not in any kind of mood to hear Izuku dismantle the miracle that was their relationship. It took Katsuki a lot of work to get any semblance of trust from Izuku, and like hell he would let some pre-dated version of his boyfriend squash what they had like a bug.

Katsuki was about to squash that mistrust like a bug.

“I confessed to you two years ago. Maybe more than that. You rejected me the first time. Eventually you came crawling back, Deku.”

That wasn’t true. As much as Katsuki enjoyed the idea of it, Izuku crawled for no one. Katsuki had distanced himself from Izuku after he’d refused his advances, which wasn't a ‘no’ to a ‘do you like me too?’, so much as it was a punch to the face after Katsuki kissed him in the middle of a heated argument/scuffle.

It had been exactly two days, seven hours, and fifty seven minutes until Izuku came crashing his way back into his dreadful, teenage angst filled world to return the heated kiss he’d so desired.

They had always been more of a physical affection kind of couple.

And calling the physical aspects of their dynamic “affectionate” in any sense of the word was a stretch as it was. 

“Mom,” Izuku cleared his throat, blinking away tears in his eyes. “Can I talk to Kacchan for a second? Alone?”

With a small nod, and a fleeting, reassuring, pleading touch to Katsuki’s shoulder, Inko left the two of them to talk.

Izuku and Katsuki were left in silence after Inko left for a good five minutes or so. Katsuki made no effort to start the conversation, simply waiting for Izuku to say what needed to be said. It didn’t seem to work, the silence making Izuku only seem to withdraw further into his own thoughts.

Foot tapping a million miles a minute, Katsuki finally snapped, internally cursing as his voice came out harsher than he meant it to.  “You gonna fucking say something, or what?”

Izuku’s shoulders tensed up at his tone, and Katsuki kicked himself mentally. That was dumb as shit.

Be patient.

Be kind.

Letting out a breath he was holding in, Izuku seemed to be ready to meet his gaze, and lifted the phone to show Katsuki the picture. “We were like this, right?” Izuku clarifies, and Katsuki regards the phone with a tilt of his head, one eye squinting.

… ‘Were’? Yep. That stung.

“We are together.” Katsuki pocketed his hands, not wanting to show how his nails bit crescents into his palms if Izuku happened to look up and catch a glance.

Don’t get angry.

Don’t pressure him.

“That’s so…” Izuku muttered, hand dropping to bring the phone back to himself. “It’s so weird.” Katsuki could have let the weird comment slide if it hadn’t been accompanied by a little snicker. “Us?”

Izuku wasn’t looking at him.

“Weird?” Katsuki repeated, taking in a deep breath, and clicked his tongue. “It’s not really that weird, Deku. We’ve been together since we were kids. It’s only natural that we’d be together from now on, don’t you think?”

Izuku choked, face bright red as he looked back up at him with trembling lips, wide misty eyes quivering almost.

Shit.

Did he make him cry?

Tapping his shoe to the floor, Katsuki bashfully averted his gaze, and cleared his throat. If that was his old Izuku sitting there, he would have eaten up that romantic shit. It seemed to be wasted on the Izuku that sat there now, looking scandalized and infuriated all at once. 

“It’s just… HOW!?” Izuku’s voice was loud, blurting out almost explosively. “ How did we- ” he violently motioned between them with the phone that still had the photo of them pulled up, “-get together!? It just seems really impossible. It’s kind of gross, don’t you think? I mean, why would Kacchan ever want to-”

“Don’t you dare continue that!” Katsuki snapped back. “Don’t you fucking say that.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, Kacchan, it just… this seems like some really cruel joke. What kind of special hell would we have to be in to be stuck with each ot-”

“I said don’t say that shit! Shut the fuck up!” Katsuki moved forward, towering over the bed, arms shaking from the restraint he held over himself so as to not try and shake some damn sense into Izuku. Despite Izuku shrinking away from him, Katsuki stayed at the side of the bed, the metal frame digging into his knees. “Say it to my face. You really think we could never be together? You honestly feel that way towards me!? You never even thought of me like that?”

Izuku shrivelled under Katsuki’s intense glare, clasping the phone, knees pressing together.

“Well…I-”

“Look at me!” Katsuki demanded, uncaring to how his voice cracked.

Izuku remained motionless; afraid.

“Don’t clam up on me, Deku. I said fuckin’ look at me!”

Izuku snapped his head up, looking at Katsuki with wide, angry eyes, and a set jaw - yet, another emotion he could not recognize in crimson irises.

Don’t get mad…

“Go on. Tell me it’s impossible.”

Don’t pressure him…

“It’s impossible…” Izuku repeats.

Katsuki scrunches his nose, sneering, the sting in his sinuses making his vision blurry. “Well, it’s not,” his voice is soft, in denial. He wanted whatever this reality was to stop.

It wasn’t impossible. Izuku would have to believe him.

“But, you totally hated me.” Izuku’s smile was bitter, and Katsuki felt it rip at his heart strings harder than it should have. He never hated him… he never really-

“You really, really hated me, Kacchan. So how is this…? how are we…?” Izuku’s voice warbled as he cried frustrated tears, smacking the phone back onto the bed. “You despised me. We were rivals. I craved your attention, I admired you, but I always knew-”

Katsuki felt a heavy guilt in his stomach, something he thought he worked to make peace with a long time ago. With a hushed, gravelly voice, Katsuki reached out on instinct,  “Deku, you idiot, I don’t hate-”

“You did!” Izuku smacked his hand away, looking at it like it was something that could kill him where he stood. “You did, Kacchan. And I don’t even like- you know . I haven’t even kissed a girl yet. This isn’t...”

Katsuki flinched as Izuku’s words died, voice dangerously low. “You don’t like what? ”

Don’t get mad…

Don’t pressure him…

“I didn’t even think I liked guys? It’s not like I have anything against the idea, I just never thought of you- o-or anyone like that! Not anyone l-like you… or like… me-” gesturing wildly to his crotch, Izuku bit his lip. “Just thinking about it is impossible for me.”

“What?”

DON’T GET MAD…

DON’T PRESSURE HIM

DON’T-

“I didn’t know you were just pulling my pigtails like some nasty third grader. If I'd known, Kacchan, I could have just turned you down right from the start-” Izuku stared down at his hands, favoring to avert his gaze from the blond. 

“Fucking bullshit!!” Katsuki yelled now, bringing his hands out to motion at Izuku. “Who the fuck was chasing after me for so long!? Always saying shit that makes my heart go crazy. Telling me you only watch me, how I’m your vision of victory. How amazing I am… brilliant and shiny and all that shit!?” Katsuki dropped a knee to the mattress, uncaring to the angry tears that leaked out of his eyes, and forcefully took one of Izuku’s hands into his own, and held it against his chest, hoping the other could feel how his heart was trying to jump out of his chest. “You’re fucking lying to me right now. How the fuck could you forget me?! How the shit are you looking at that picture with your own damn eyes, and not getting anything?!”

“It’s not my fault!” Izuku pleads, teary eyed, trying to take his hand back.

“Try to remember me! Izuku , dammit, please fucking try. Look at me, I'm begging you. I’m actually begging ,” Katsuki held onto Izuku even tighter, voice strained and longing, crowding against him, their faces inches apart.

“Let go of me!!” Izuku shouted, trying to escape an incoming kiss, and turned his face away as Katsuki’s lips met the swell of his cheekbone.

“You may not remember me, but you have to feel something! ” It was a desperate whisper, and Katsuki was shaking, anger and betrayal filling him as he nuzzled his forehead against Izuku’s temple. “Don’t say it’s impossible.”

Inko came rushing into the room upon hearing the yelling. She was met with the sight of her son, looking like a petrified kid as Katsuki held him close.

“Katsuki!” She shouted, her small hands gripping on his shoulder as she tried to pry him off of Izuku. Katsuki surprisingly didn’t put up much of a fight, easily being pulled away from Izuku. He watched as Izuku’s hand slipped from his own. He felt sick at the thought that Izuku wouldn’t try to grab him back and continue to hold on.

Sniffing, Katsuki turned into Inko, surprised to find that the woman was giving him a brief hug, holding him close and tight. He swallowed, grounded by the small gesture. He’s shaking still, the world getting darker around the edges of his vision. Did Izuku just dump him?

He supposed so.

Katsuki sucked in a deep breath, moving past Inko to head for the door. His heartbeat was thrumming in his ears, making his blood buzz in his veins.

Izuku was so positive that he hated him wholly, and unconditionally. It was the opposite.

It wasn’t like that.

It hurt. He was hurt more than he’d ever been. Katsuki had been broken, beaten, crushed, and mangled in all sorts of ways, but in that moment, as he turned his back on Izuku, none of it even held a flame to what he felt. Izuku could only remember when he was a fucking emotionally pent-up twat of a human being. He couldn’t… didn’t remember any of the good . Any of the love. Any of the growth. It was hard to face, and perhaps something he really did deserve in the end.

It did always seem like some con that he’d end up with Izuku, and live happily ever after in the end. 

These recent events were unraveling him, unraveling his training and how well he'd gotten at controlling his rage. He was so frustrated, and it wasn't even like he could direct it at the one causing it. There was no way he could hurt Izuku, not since then. He refused. And he almost… he’d just wanted to hold him in his arms, and kiss him into complacency. He couldn’t. That wasn’t an option. It wouldn’t have been from the beginning. Izuku didn’t put up with that shit.

Katsuki was trembling, full body shudders quaking him down to his core. His bones rattled in his meat suit, aching to break free from his body, and crumble beneath the weight of the world. Katsuki was unfamiliar to this earth-shattering sadness. This was unlike any fit of rage he’d ever experienced. This was mourning.

His shaky hand came up to his face, knees aching as he fell to his knees, tears slipping through his fingers, and he can’t seem to stop them. He stares ahead of him, the world growing foggy around him, cotton filling his ears. He didn’t seem to even care if people saw the great, and powerful, explosive hero cry angrily on the floor of all places.

Katsuki felt like Izuku had died.

There was hope he would come back to him, and baby, he wanted that so bad…

But the possibility of Izuku being lost was also a true, and a very real possibility.

He'd felt pain before, and he’d felt extreme, all consuming disappointment, and Katsuki had sure as hell felt frustration. But, nothing at this level. Nothing could compare.

A soft hand touched his bicep, and it pulled him from the fog. He was stuck in a state of shock, slowly rolling his head on his shoulders to look back and up at the short woman. He’d been ready to snap at a stranger, but only after he’d regained control over his tongue. He hated it when people touched him. He really, really did. There were few exceptions to who could touch him. His anger and intolerance faded upon seeing the mother of his boyfriend, her kind smile, so much like Izuku’s, partially melting away his sorrow. 

With his anger quelling, his despair had no place to turn to, leaking out of his eyes as more tears flowed.

He was never a pretty crier.

She knelt beside him, and just pulled him into a hug. Even kneeling she was shorter than him, having to pull him down a little to her level so as to not hurt her back. With his shoulders hunched, Katsuki rested his chin on her shoulder, accepting the touch as she took to patting the back of his head.

“It'll be okay, Katsuki. Our Izuku is a smart boy, right? He’ll remember in no time.” She said it in such a soft tone that Katsuki was actually inclined to believe her. She repeated a mantra of ‘ hush’s’ and ‘ it’ll be okay .’ in his ear. 

After he calmed down enough to push her away, Inko started talking about the next step that had to be taken.

“I think Izuku should come home with me today. Let him see something he’s familiar with, alright?”

“But-” Katsuki coughed, clearing his throat. “The doctor said he needs to be surrounded by this from everyday life.”

“Katsuki, do you think you can really bring Izuku home right now, and act normally? This isn’t just for him right now. I want you to go home, clean yourself up, call in to work, and just take some time to yourself. I’ll bring Izuku by tomorrow after you’re ready to see him. I’ll phone you, okay? Check in?”

Whatever any of them did to deserve Inko Midorya was beyond Katsuki.

Begrudgingly, he agreed to the arrangement, and helped her up and off the floor, drying his tears on his sleeve. Although Katsuki wanted nothing more than Izuku to get better, he wanted him home. Having him home would help him get better, but Inko was right. It wasn’t home that was the problem at the moment.

Katsuki was the problem.

And he needed to fix himself up if he was going to be able to help Izuku remember anything at all. Sending him running in the other direction was not the desired effect he wanted to have.

“Tomorrow, we’ll get him back to his home. To your home. How does that sound?”

“Good,” Katsuki felt like a toddler, nodding with such a simple response, still sniffling back the snot in his clogged sinuses.

Katsuki left quickly after their talk, exiting the hospital without meeting anyone’s gaze. He wiped angrily at his face, as if making his complexion even more red would make it look any less like he'd just been crying his eyes out. He didn’t need anyone's damn sympathy. He didn’t want sympathy. He just wanted his Deku.

And everything be damned if he couldn’t help him jog his memory.