Chapter Text
Adachi pressed himself closer to the vending machine. The hum from it vibrated against his back and softly soothed him. Adachi tried not to let his mind become flooded with negative thoughts. Once again, he had stuttered and stumbled over what he wanted to say in class. The teacher had been kind enough and no one had laughed (it wasn’t high school) but he could feel the stares of annoyance and exasperation directed at him.
Why can’t I just be normal?
The sound of running cut through Adachi’s thoughts. Hoping not to be seen, he drew his legs in closer to his chest. Adachi wished they would get their drink and leave. I’m not here. I’m not here. There was the sound of something then-
“Fucking. Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!” Screamed a frustrated male voice.
Adachi couldn’t stop himself from jerking against the vending machine in surprise. Oh, no! They had to have heard that! I wish I could disappear!
Adachi’s body tensed as he heard the sound of footsteps slowly approaching his hiding spot.
After what seemed like a thousand years, a flushed face finally caught sight of him. Adachi cursed to himself. Now he’d have to explain himself and even worse yet, find a new hiding spot.
Without warning, the man started to laugh. Adachi went from being embarrassed, to flustered. The man, presumably a soccer player from his uniform, nearly shrieked with laughter as he gripped his sides.
Do I really look that silly?
Adachi could feel his cheeks start to turn crimson and his eyes got wide. With a start, Adachi finally realized the soccer player laughing at him was none other than Kurosawa Yuichi. He blinked and bit at his lower lip nervously. Is there anyway I won’t lose all my remaining dignity by begging him not to tell anyone how he found me like this?
Kurosawa’s laughter finally died down.
“What in the world are you doing?” Kurosawa said as he cocked his head to the side.
Adachi had thought it was obvious. After a moment of confusion, he simply replied with the truth. “Hiding.”
That was when the most unexpected thing that could ever happen- happened. Instead of breaking out into peals of laughter again, Kurosawa’s face turned pensive.
“Me too.” Kurosawa let out a huge sigh as he plopped down on the bench next to him.
Before he could stop the words from coming out, he asked, “What do you have to hide from?” Adachi had literally no idea what a perfect person had to hide from. Is he trying to hide from a horde of screaming fans? A talent agent?
But Kurosawa didn’t laugh. In fact, he didn’t do anything. He just sat there with a blank face. Adachi knew the expression well because he often felt it himself. Adachi had accidentally asked a question Kurosawa didn’t feel comfortable answering and so was at a loss for words.
Adachi’s eyes softened. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”
Kurosawa knitted up his eyebrows and stared hard at the ground.
It seemed to have had the opposite reaction of what Adachi was hoping for. Instead of comforting him, he seemed to have troubled Kurosawa more. Adachi struggled internally for something to say. Then it came to him. “You wanted to get a drink, right? What do you want?”
Once again, Kurosawa didn’t answer right away and Adachi wondered if Kurosawa was just going to stand up and walk away without another word.
“Could you get me a Skal?” It was almost as if Kurosawa was asking his permission to have a soda. Adachi would have given him anything to help wipe off the look of fragility slowly creeping over Kurosawa’s face.
“Roger!” Adachi gave a tentative smile as he walked over to the vending machine and pressed his phone up the electric pad to pay. The bottle rolled down and the noise vibrated in Adachi’s ears. Walking over, he offered it to Kurosawa with an unsure smile. I must look like a complete idiot.
“Thanks.” Kurosawa smiled back but Adachi could tell he was only doing it to try and put Adachi’s mind at ease.
Adachi tried to sort his thoughts. Kurosawa did laugh earlier but he’s acting like something is really bothering him. He said he was hiding too. I don’t know if I can be much help but I want to try. Adachi knew a multitude of emotions were playing over his face; he didn’t have a poker face in the least.
Making up his mind on what he needed to do, Adachi’s eyes shifted to where the vending machine area opened up.
He took a few steps over to it to make sure the coast was clear. He leaned back over to Kurosawa and tried to not bite his tongue as he said in a jumble, “There’s no one else around, so if you need to get out anything else, please do.”
“Huh?” Kurosawa sounded completely mystified.
Adachi sat back down next to him and stared down at the ground. He tilted his head from side to side before he could finally find the right words, “It can all be a bit much at times…” He let out a long sigh before turning to look at Kurosawa with eyes full of earnest. “It’s okay to let it out when you need too.”
Kurosawa looked at him like he had just said rabbits really lived on the moon.
Adachi was now at a total loss. He started to blink uncontrollable and rubbed the back of his neck. This isn’t going as well as I had hoped. I guess I can tell him…
“Sorry, I know you’re Kurosawa…” It was like he was admitting to some forbidden secret. Adachi wasn’t sure why it made him feel so bad. The soccer ace’s face was plastered all over the school on posters. What does that feel like? Walking around and seeing yourself smiling from every corner? “They expect you to be perfect…but no one can be perfect, huh?”
Adachi didn’t try to stop the soft smile of companionship and understanding he instinctively wanted to give to Kurosawa.
The air felt electric.
Adachi chewed on his tongue waiting for Kurosawa to say something. Instead, he rested his head on Adachi’s shoulder. “Can I just…for a just a few minutes? I’m so tired.”
Adachi’s body felt like it was on fire. No one, let alone a stranger, had put their head on his shoulder with such confidence. Like they really needed reassurance, from him of all people.
Kurosawa let out a shaky sigh.
Adachi felt it play along his chest. Gathering more confidence, Adachi shifted his body, so Kurosawa could better lay his head on his shoulder.
“Take as long as you need.”
Adachi felt Kurosawa’s body tense up. “Okay.”
But it didn’t take long for the tension to melt away. Adachi listened as Kurosawa’s breathing started to slow. He took in a few deep breaths and Adachi tried to stay as still as humanly possible.
Adachi could feel his shoulder start to cramp. Still, he stayed as still as a statue as Kurosawa’s breathing continued to slow down until it took on the undeniable rhythm of sleep. I never knew another person could be so warm. Adachi felt like a pervert as he found himself breathing in the sweat and the scent of grass that was coming off of Kurosawa. How can sweat smell sexy? What the hell is wrong with me?
Eventually, Adachi laid his head against the vending machine. I’m going to have such a creak in my neck tomorrow. Still, if it meant staying with Kurosawa even that much longer, Adachi was willing to deal with it.
A small snore came from Kurosawa and Adachi couldn’t stop the wave of emotion that crashed over him. To be so close to another person as they slept…It didn’t feel anything like the time a sleeping passenger on the train had accidentally fallen on to his shoulder. This felt more intimate, more personal. Is this what it feels like to have a boyfriend? Adachi knew he should feel guilty for projecting his desires on someone he didn’t really know but the situation made his mind run wild.
Adachi fought off the fatigue that called him to sleep along side Kurosawa. He didn’t want to waste a moment in sleep but wanted to etch it all in his mind for later. A cooler breeze bit at Adachi’s neck and with a start he realized that the sun was starting to set.
Do I have to wake him up? Is he going to be angry that I let him sleep for so long? If I wait until nighttime that’ll definitely be weird.
Thankfully, Adachi still had his phone in his left hand. He sent a LINE to Tsuge asking if he and Minato were still at the soccer field. Thankfully they were and Adachi tried to explain his situation as best he could with the fewest words and fewest mistypes.
After that, it was a blur of motion as Minato took a half-conscious Kurosawa home. Adachi tried to tell Kurosawa “good-bye” but found he couldn’t now that here were other people there.
Getting home, Adachi took off his shirt and was ready to throw it in the laundry bin, when something made him stop. Even though he was all alone in his apartment, he felt a pang of embarrassment as he tentatively raised the shirt to his nose.
Giving up all hope of salvation, he collapsed onto his bed. Adachi gripped the shirt tighter as he took another deep inhale of the scent that still lingered there.
I am in so much trouble.
____________________________________________________________________________
Adachi found himself staring at Kurosawa’s face again. Sure, it was only a poster but that was as close as Adachi felt he could get. Adachi’s cheeks got hot. They had always been around campus but now it was like the posters were watching his every move. I can’t get any rest! His eyes are following me everywhere!
The hair on the back of Adachi’s neck raised as he senses someone looking at him. He turned around with cheeks red and eyes averted, to stare at the person’s feet. Oh, thank god. It’s only Fujisaki. But what do I say? Should I say something?
A few moments passed before Fujisaki said in a soft tone, “I didn’t know you were a soccer fan.”
Adachi gulped.
A kind smile playing on Fujisaki’s lips as she waited. Adachi tried to sort his thoughts.
“I’m not really interested in soccer,” Adachi replied quietly. He turned his head and stared at the wall. It’s safe to ask Fujisaki this. “Do you know Kurosawa?”
She tilted her head to the side. “I know of him but I don’t know him.”
I’m not really sure what kind of answer I was looking for. Adachi kept his eyes trained on the wall and licked his lips tentatively. “Yeah, I suppose Tsuge might…”
Adachi was suddenly very aware that he had no idea what he meant. What am I even talking about? Am I really considering going to soccer practice??
Fujisaki asked her next question like he was trying to avoid scaring away a skittish rabbit. “Did you maybe want to go watch soccer practice?”
Adachi’s ears turned red and his mouth gasped for air like he was a fish. Shit. So much for being subtle. But the way his stomach whooshed, Adachi knew he had been dying for someone else to ask him; give him the excuse he needed to go.
Fujisaki smiled at him like he had just descended from heaven and blessed her with a priceless gift.
“I’ve never been before but I bet it would be a lot of fun.” Fujisaki said. She caught a glimpse of the poster behind Adachi.
At that, Adachi’s eyes roamed back over to the old soccer poster that loudly proclaimed that Kurosawa Yuichi was the school’s ace player and that the tournament was going to be a sight to behold.
Emotions of elation, worry and so many others he couldn’t name pulsated through him. “I was thinking about it but I didn’t want to bother Tsuge…”
“I’d love to go with you.” Fujisaki said like it was the easiest thing in the world.
Adachi felt his knees go weak. “You will?!”
Fujisaki smiled and gave Adachi an oddly knowing look. “Do you want to go today? We can meet up after your last class. It’s closer to the soccer field, right?”
Adachi nodded enthusiastically.
The rest of the day Adachi was a total mess. Everything the teachers said went in one ear and out the other.
And then there he was on the hill, nestled in-between Fujisaki and Tsuge. At first, Tsuge raised a questioning eyebrow but he left it at that. Adachi knew he was going to have to explain eventually; he just wasn’t sure how.
Fujisaki kept the conversation light and Adachi could feel the initial stress of the unknown bleed from his shoulders. All Adachi wanted to do was fixate his eyes on Kurosawa but he didn’t want to be too obvious.
This is horrible. I don’t know where to look. Well, I know I want to look at Kurosawa…There’s no way he won’t be able to tell there’s someone staring right at him!
Tsuge and Fujisaki kept talking and Adachi pretended like he had some semblance of an idea of what they were discussing. Fujisaki turned to him and offered a bright smile. Adachi couldn’t help but return it.
He turned back to the soccer field; eyes subconsciously following Kurosawa.
If only I had the courage to talk to him again.