Chapter Text
Red was sitting on the porch when Jethro's beat up car rumbled into the street. He hadn't seen the three Alphas on his street yet, but he figured it was only a matter of time. He was glad Jethro had beaten them to it.
"Does your Mum know you're coming out?" Jethro asked as Red got into the car.
"She's not my keeper," Red said.
"She sort of is, and that's okay," Jethro said. "Does she know?"
"No," Red said.
"Text her," Jethro said. "She gives a shit."
"I know, I give a shit too," Red said, and pulled out his phone.
"Okay," Jethro said. He pulled off the curb. "Capers or The Blue Frog?"
"What?" Red asked.
"Capers or The Blue Frog. For breakfast," Jethro said.
"I don't know either of those."
"Then pick the one that sounds better," Jethro said.
"Blue Frog," Red said, choosing at random.
"Thank fuck, I've got a hankering," Jethro said. His fingers tapped the wheel in a jittery, nervous manner.
Red typed up a text to his mother. His own fingers were shaking worse than Jethro's.
I went out for breakfast with Jethro. I think you know why.
I love you. You're the best.
Red silenced his phone and turned off the vibrate setting.
Once he was done and had nothing to focus on, he felt the oncoming panic attack. He was in a small, enclosed space with an Alpha. Alphas could smell everything, given enough time and appropriate airflow - or lack thereof. Red wondered if Jethro could smell the slick that Red had scrubbed away extra hard that morning. His breathing quickened.
"Not gonna hurt you," Jethro said. "No matter what, not gonna hurt you."
Red nodded, shivering. "Sorry."
"Not gonna be pissed at you either. We're a legitimate threat, I get that. You've got every right to be scared."
Red nodded again. "Thanks."
The Blue Frog turned out to be two suburbs over.
When they got inside, Jethro went straight to a table and Red followed. Red felt a lot less worried in public. The cafe was hardly crowded, but there were enough people that there would be witnesses if something happened. Red had to remind himself that if something happened, it would be because he'd asked for it.
"So, lifesaver, what the fuck?" Jethro said.
Red bit his lip.
"Did you seriously call me up last night to ask me to bond you?"
Red blushed. "I ... well, yeah, I guess," he said.
"There must be more to this story," Jethro said. "Were there monkeys? Tell me. There were monkeys, right?"
Red laughed. It was just like the last night. He'd been feeling so heavy and scared, and then Jethro said something stupid and he felt better.
"No monkeys," Red said. "There were Alphas, though. Three of them."
Jethro shook his head. "It's not fair, is it? We shouldn't be allowed in packs. We should all go lone wolf style. That way we're more badass."
Red laughed. "They were all bonded, and they'd sniffed me out. They were just going to hang around until I went into heat, and then they'd figure out who the Omega was by who disappeared for a few days."
Jethro frowned. "Well, that's a sunny story. How'd you get out of that one?"
"I ran away and rang you," Red said.
Jethro frowned harder, but he put on a smile when a waitress came over.
"I, legit, need a BLT," Jethro said imploringly.
"I haven't even looked at the menu," Red said.
"Whatever you do, don't order the waffles," Jethro said. "They'll eat you alive."
"I'll have the waffles," Red said.
"And to drink?"
"Orange juice," Red said, frowning a little as he regarded Jethro. Red had just disobeyed Jethro without even thinking about it. Was that because he wasn't as scared of Jethro as he was of the others? Was it because Jethro had said it as a joke?
Was Jethro just a really bad Alpha? If he was, that may have explained Red's steadily growing attraction to him.
Jethro frowned at Red disapprovingly. "You need a milkshake," he said.
"How do you know I need a milkshake?" Red asked.
"No, seriously. Just pick a flavour. We'll get the juice as well, I mean, I might be wrong," Jethro said, but he didn't sound like someone who thought he might be wrong.
"Caramel, please," Red told the waitress, playing along with Jethro's milkshake fascination.
"And chocolate," Jethro said.
The waitress left, and Jethro went back to frowning at Red. "So, the situation with the Alphas is still going on?" Jethro asked.
"Yeah," Red said.
"So you thought: hey, fuck it, let's pick Jethro instead?"
"Sort of," Red said. "It's more like ... the situation with those Alphas is still going on, but even if it stops, there will be other situations. Over and over, forever."
"So you thought: hey, fuck it, let's pick Jethro instead?" Jethro repeated.
Red bit his lip. "Sorry. When you put it that way, it sounds so ... mean, I guess."
"Oh, no, this is, like, next level romance right here." Jethro said, sounding strangely honest. "So, here's an idea, how about I take it down a notch? Let's stop this whirlwind of love right here, and downgrade to, like, a small tornado. How about I take care of your Alpha problem? Then, if and when that's over, you're still serious about bonding with me, we can talk about it."
"I don't know how you could hope to fix my Alpha problem. Maybe these three, but there will always be more," Red said.
"Don't count on it," Jethro growled.
Red flinched.
"Aww, fuck," Jethro said. "Did I take a bad tone? Tiny keeps telling me I've got tone issues."
"What are tone issues?" Red asked.
Jethro shrugged. "It's - you know how we can order people around, right? Well, it's like that, only I'm totally shit at it, and I can't do it on purpose, but I keep doing it by accident."
Red shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just jumpy."
"Who could possibly fucking blame you?" Jethro said.
Every time he said stuff like that, Red liked him a little bit more.
"Seriously. Let me fix this Alpha problem. Then we'll talk about bonding. Jeesh."
"How would you fix it?" Red asked.
Jethro shrugged. "Hell if I know," he said. "Normally I just whack away at things until something works. This time, though, I'll probably have to ... I dunno, use tact or something." Jethro crinkled his nose as though that was offensive. "Let me think on it a minute. It'll come to me."
Jethro thought while staring out the window for some time, then the milkshakes and Red's juice arrived.
"You were right, I did need this," Red said. The milkshakes were monstrosities. They were served in huge jugs with ice cream on top. A small heaping of jersey caramels topped Red's, while an entire brownie was poking out the top of Jethro's.
Jethro nodded, but he was still looking out the window, pondering.
Red allowed himself to be completely enamoured with the milkshake - could it be called a milkshake, anymore? The absurdity of it helped him to be distracted from Jethro's pondering.
Their food arrived, and Jethro slid his phone out of his pocket. He searched through his contact list for a while, before finding the name he was looking for. Red peeked. The contact was listed as: Supreme Douchecanoe. Jethro hit call and put the phone against his ear, his expression sour.
"Hey, Smelly," Jethro said. "Can I pick your brain, or are you busy?"
Red couldn't figure out what to eat. Waffles, or jersey caramels?
"You're always busy. Make time. Come on, how often do I call?"
Red sucked on a jersey caramel. Jethro quickly looked away.
"Never, I never call. Remember that time I got stabbed and nearly bled to death in a treehouse and I didn't call? Seriously, this is important. What? No, I don't need a lawyer. I'm, like, a paragon of justice. I have the moral compass of, just, I don't know, a really big compass."
Red laughed.
"All right, seriously, so, imagine you're a knight in, like, Sleeping Beauty, or whatever. And you've got to go and fight the dragon and save the princess, and all that shit, right? Moral code and honour and whatnot, no, but, hear me out, right, I really need your help. You are the only person who can help me with this."
The waffles were delicious, but Jethro kept talking with hand gestures, even though he was on the phone, and Red couldn't ignore Jethro's hand while it waved about, obnoxiously parading its big knuckles and one lone freckle.
It was just a hand. Why was it so fascinating?
"So, the princess is locked in the tower, and you're the one that's got to go save her, right, but! You're an Omega. So now you've got to hide it or else everyone's going to know, and they'll stop you from saving the princess. So what do you do?"
Red realised what Jethro meant about the waffles. They were going to be the death of him.
"Uh huh. God, Smelly, you are such a gigantic tosser," Jethro said. "No, you cannot go bond to an Alpha to get him to do it for you. It's got to be you ... No ... No, oh, for fuck's sake, it's a magical fairy realm, dumbass, that's why it has to be you ... I dunno - prophecy, there's always a prophecy. So how do you ... Quit telling me you'd bond with an Alpha, that's, like, the opposite of the point I'm trying to prove. This is why I don't call you, you twat. Wait, what? Say that again."
Jethro picked the bacon out of his sandwich and took a bite of it, listening hard and making animated faces as he did, even while he chewed.
"Holy crap," Jethro said. "Are you for real? Is that a thing? And, yeah, trust me, we're on top of the hair dye already. No - no, this fantasy character will not take up smoking, wait, no, what the fuck is a snake plant? Oh, those things. Yeah, of course I know those things, you've got like seventy of them. Okay. Okay. I - wait, really? That's a fucking thing? How the crap do you even know this shit? No, no I do not want an answer to that question. You should write a book, man, you know too much shit. What? Me? No, I'm not writing a book. Why would you think I was writing a book? Mores the point, given you have all these crazy ideas, why the fuck would you bother bonding with an Alpha in the first place? Fucker would slow you down. No. No, it would not make a better story if the Alpha did it. That's the definition of a boring story. You know what, never mind. You're a complete and total twat and I hate every fibre of your being."
Jethro hung up the phone and put it down on the table. Then he sighed, made a sour face, picked up the phone, and called 'Supreme Douchecanoe' again.
"Sorry, Smelly. I know you're trying real hard," he said. "I'm trying too. What the fuck, no, you didn't help me with my book, I am not writing a book. I don't give a fuck if you'd read it, there is no book. But seriously, though, you've helped. You've helped, like, a lot. Oh, for fuck's sake, there's no book, you freak, goodbye."
Jethro groaned, hung up the phone, picked up his BLT, and shoved half of it into his mouth.
"You owe me," Jethro said, talking with his mouth full and jabbing his finger at Red. "You made me call Lord Commander Anal Retentive. I hate that guy. I hate that guy with a vengeance."
"Who is he?" Red asked.
"He's - uh, estranged family. Sort of. I think I'm the estranged one, actually. He's my eldest brother, technically. I didn't grow up with him. He grew up in the whole Ancient House rhetoric. Totally brainwashed. I hate the hell out of him, but the evil shit can smell for days - Tiny calls him Sir Super Snout. Point is, if anyone knows how to hide a smell, it's Dickwad McGee, and holy shit do I feel like I just got schooled."
"What did he say?" Red asked, equal parts terrified and fascinated.
Jethro had already finished his sandwich. He had the unpleasant habit of talking with his mouth full. Red was finding this far less unappealing than he should.
Red pushed one of his waffles onto Jethro's plate, because there was way too much food, and Jethro was halfway through his milkshake already. He wasn't exactly a small guy.
"So, a bunch of things," Jethro said. "First he'd bond an Alpha, right, because if he's got an Alpha then he can keep control of his heats - and, Jesus, he can smell where they are in their cycle, so of course he knows who's having how many heats. Spoiler alert, he's never met an Omega fresh out of heat that produces a scent."
"Out of heat? But going into heat does make a smell, doesn't it?" Red said.
"Apparently it's coming out of dormancy that makes the smell - like, if you've avoided Alphas for long enough that the whole thing shuts down, and then it starts up again, that smells. So if you keep having heats then your body doesn't go dormant, and you'll stop making any scent whatsoever, except your twilight one. And your twilight one doesn't stay on you, cause you wash it off, but it gets all over your house and your stuff, so you take it out with you and it just seeps into everything the longer you're around. But apparently snake plants purify air really well, and we should be able to get the smell out of your house and your stuff with those."
"So, what, we have to go to a garden centre?" Red asked.
"Yep," Jethro said. "We have to go find some snake plants. What the fuck, right? Oh, and, um, you need an Alpha to routinely put you into heat."
"So, back to bonding," Red said.
"Um, yeah, about that," Jethro said. "Nah. You only need to be around Alphas to have heats. And here's a trick from my other brother - you don't need to be around Alphas at all. Just their sweaters."
As he said it, he shrugged off his jacket and handed it to Red.
"No bond necessary. Just wear that often enough and you'll have one."
Red already knew without a doubt that he would go into heat tonight. He had known it last night, when he had talked on the phone to Jethro. He knew it now, several times over.
"And, uh, between you and me," Jethro said. "They make a big deal about Omega scent, you know? They say stuff like overpowering and obscene and stuff, like it smells like sex, but it's just not true. Alphas stink, but Omega's like ... like apples, you know? Alpha smells like three day old unwashed gym clothes. Omegas smell nice and all, but it's not overpowering. You can only smell it at all if you're trying to track it, like a total psychopath. I was legit sniffing around at your treehouse and I didn't know it belonged to an Omega, 'cause I've never bothered learning how to track Omega smells, 'cause I'm not, you know, completely evil. If you wear my jacket, it will get you smelling nice and foul in no time, and Alphas won't bat an eye at you, they'll think you're just fresh from gym."
Red took off his jacket and put Jethro's on. It felt much too big, and it was still warm from Jethro's body heat. Red felt like he was back in high school, and he was the shy kid getting to wear the popular jock's jacket like a badge of honour. He hadn't dated in high school, but he'd been really lonely and lovesick in high school, so it made perfect sense that Jethro's jacket was doing weird things to his internal organs. His stomach felt like it was trying to move to a different suburb and his heart felt like it was rocking out to speed metal.
"So, like, keep me on speed dial, yeah?" Jethro said. "If you get Alpha company, tell them you're promised - tell them you're promised to Jethro Fielder. That might make them take a minute to think. Alphas are possessive little shits and if they know another Alpha will come after them if they touch you, they'll take a minute to think about it. If they don't take a minute to think about it, tell them your lawyer's name is Ren Tolphoy. That usually shuts people right up. It's actually legitimately awesome, how fast that shuts people up."
"Tolphoy? Like, the Ancient House Tolphoys?" Red asked, but he already knew.
Ren Tolphoy was the kidnapping lawyer.
"Yeah. There's, like, thirty cousins rocking around somewhere. Ren knows them all. I've only met a few, total cunts, the lot of them."
"I was told to avoid the Ancient Houses," Red said quietly.
"You damn well should," Jethro said. "That whole community is toxic."
"If a Tolphoy lives near here, I should move," Red said. "That's what I've been told. You hear the name, you pick up and move on."
"Ren doesn't live here," Jethro said. "He lives in an eight bedroom mansion out in the country. Seriously. It's, like, the worst. It has a marble staircase."
"You said he was your brother," Red said. His voice broke halfway through.
"Oh, no, no-no-no," Jethro said. "I'm not a Tolphoy, I'm a Mum Law kid. I'm a Fielder. I even changed my name, because I loved one of my fosters - she was a great lady, she used to make a mean spaghetti, I think she used a different kind of onion in it, there were green bits - oh, that's probably not important right now, anyway. It's a super sad story, really - well, not the spaghetti, the spaghetti's a great story - the whole foster stuff situation is the sad story. It's not the sort of thing I want to lump on you. I was raised in foster care and I only know Ren at all because Dane makes me, and trust me, I'm not happy about that. Ren's not - he's not the worst of them, but he hasn't bonded yet, so I dunno what he'd be like to an Omega. I mean, we're technically brothers, but like, not really? I'm not a Tolphoy. I'm, like, Tolphoy scraps."
Red fiddled with his fingernails. "I don't think you're a scrap," he said faintly.
Jethro gave him a hesitant smile. Red had expected it to be a small smile, he'd even hoped that it might be meaningful. Instead, it just grew and grew until it was huge and toothy and rather embarrassing for Jethro.
Jethro wiped a fake tear off his eye and put a hand over his heart. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me," he said mockingly, but the huge grin did not fade.
It stayed when Jethro rather obtusely paid for Red's breakfast, and it stayed all through the car ride home.
Mum was sitting on the porch, cradling her phone. She looked like she'd been crying.
"Jeesh," Jethro said. "Wish I could make people cry with a text. Last time I tried, Dickhead threw his phone at me."
Red got out of the car. Jethro rolled down the window. "Thank you," Red said, grateful and flabbergasted. This was not at all how he had expected things to go.
Jethro shook his head. "Thank me later," he said, and drove away, only to return an hour later with a car full to the brim of snake plants.
"You shouldn't've done this," Mum said. "Let me pay you back, at least."
"Nah," Jethro said. "Next time you get stabbed and left to die, you can buy the pot plants, but until then, it's on me. Wow, I think that might have been a brand new sentence. Nobody's ever said that one before, probably."
Red filled his bunker with plants. Mum washed everything in the house, even the curtains. Between loads, she went to town and hired a carpet shampooer to rinse out the carpet.
That night, Red went into the least unpleasant heat he'd ever had. He was the most coherent he had ever been while he purposefully built a nest of pillows, blankets, his mother's old stuffed tiger toy, and his father's favourite scarf. He didn't take Jethro's jacket off until the last moment, but when he did, he laid it carefully over his pillow, where he would have its scent right next to his nose.
He didn't dream of Jethro, not like he'd dreamed of Plait Man, Double Shot Long Black Man, and Latte Man. He didn't dream of Jethro's hands opening him up. He didn't dream of Jethro's huge, toothy grin. He didn't dream about plucking a whole brownie out of a milkshake and handfeeding it to Jethro. He didn't dream of Jethro's cock, he didn't dream of Jethro's knot.
He didn't dream at all. He fantasized.