Chapter Text
Lili Frond hadn't entered the LEP with the title of "Bimbo." "Airhead," perhaps, but that was something she had come to expect. After all, she was three things the cadets at large seemed to disapprove of: beautiful, rich, and a girl. Possessing one of those attributes could easily be looked over. Two was pushing it. All three? Not a chance. So, "Airhead" didn't seem too bad. "Airhead" she could overcome.
Ironically, her first change of title wasn't to the aforementioned slander on sexual promiscuity. No, she was actually dubbed "Tease" quite soon after her fifth unsuccessful date. Lili was particular about her male companions. Her mother had taught her that, saying that many men would be compelled to pursue her because of her looks or bank account. It wasn't critical harping on all men, but a mere warning, and Lili took it seriously. She certainly gave each date a fair chance, but by the main course, she always knew what he wanted for dessert, and she wasn't on the menu.
Then came...him. He was...attentive. For one thing, he looked at her eyes long enough to actually know what color they were, rather than projecting the majority of his attention to a curved area a bit lower on her body. He opened doors for her, helped her with her chair, guided her with his elbow crooked around hers. He wasn't from a notable family, but he had all of the manners of her aristocrat acquaintances. In fact, he often had more. It was...refreshing.
They went out often in that first week. Courtship within the Academy was fairly easy, if you were willing to call the more casual events, like having dinner at the cafeteria, a "date." They shared almost every meal, and he always walked her to her next class or back to the dorms. Whenever he said goodbye, his smile was nervous, and he took longer and longer to leave her side. He was even late to a class with the new Commander Root, and that probably impressed her more than anything else. To incur the wrath of Beetroot... The next time he escorted her to class, she stopped his harmful hesitation by leaning over and kissing him (their first time), thanking him for going through the trouble. He had laughed and given her a thumbs up, walking away with a swagger.
He took her on a "real" date that Saturday night. Lili wasn't sure where he got the money for the restaurant he took her to, but she knew his family wasn't rich, and he only had a little money saved from the part-time jobs he managed to pick up whenever the Academy was out of session. She felt guiltier with every course. When he insisted that she order a dessert for them to share, she nearly yelled at him to not be stupid. That he had already spent too much. Instead, she chose the cheapest item on the menu, then felt her heart thrill as they fed it to each other, bite by small bite.
The rest of the night, they walked through the parks of Haven, talking and laughing. Gossiping about their teachers, complaining about homework. Sharing the urban legends that ran rampant in the Academy, speculating about what kernels of truth were to be found within.
When they returned to the dorms, he stopped in the divide between the male and female dorms. He wrapped his arms around her waist, devouring her mouth, which still held the sweetness of their shared treat. She loved it, and she was dreading the moment when he would give a final, light kiss and leave her at the entrance to her hall.
Then one of his hands went lower, and she gasped, breaking the kiss. She had stammered his name, pulling away. Said she thought she should go, now.
He had searched her eyes, and then looked away. His voice was hurt as he said he had hoped...
She said she wasn't ready for that sort of thing. It was only a week, and she had...she had never...
"But, Lili," he whispered, and there was a single tear falling down his cheek, "I want you. I...I love you."
It felt like the world stopped. This elf...so kind...so slow...so soft...love. She couldn't believe it. Yet she wanted to so badly. She asked him why. He told her a dozen reasons, laughing softly at the more ridiculous ones, blushing at the serious. And he pulled her closer, nuzzling into her neck, and said it again. "I love you, Lili."
She went with him.
It hurt. Oh, gods, it hurt so bad! She knew about sex. About virginity. Knew it would hurt, but all of the romance novels and stories from her friends and classmates...they said it was a twinge, and then adjustment, and then passion. This wasn't a twinge. There was no adjustment, and she couldn't even remember what they meant by "passion." She had never been seriously hurt in her life, but this felt like every scrape and paper cut and slipping knife in the kitchen, all at once. Not one moment of pain. Minutes, and she gasped and squirmed and didn't speak. Her fingers dug into the crumpled sheets and she wanted to tear the flimsy linens apart.
Then he was groaning and out and off, and he was gathering up his clothes. Sliding on boxers, jumping into jeans, not bothering with a shirt. He stretched, his back cracking, and sighed. Turned to her.
He looked at the sheets and cursed. "Man, blood never comes out..."
Lili brought her legs close to her body, looking at the red stain. "I...I'm sorry."
He grunted, picking up her dress from the floor, tossing it to her. He told her he had an exam on Monday, and he needed to wake up early to study all through tomorrow. When she didn't move, he clapped his hands, urging her to hurry.
She opened her mouth. Closed it. Put the dress on and found her shoes. Looked at her lap. The dress was of that irritating type of material that would retain every crease, and it looked like shit, now.
He didn't take her arm in his. He walked several paces ahead of her, hands shoved in his pockets. As they passed the lounge, he looked in and smirked.
Lili walked up beside him and began to shake. There were a dozen cadets in there. One of their teachers, too. All male, of course. They groaned, and one took a bag from the table around which they were sitting, throwing it at her date's head. He caught it easily, despite the amorphous nature of the insides, which clinked and rang with that familiar tone of gold on gold. He saluted jauntily and jerked his head at the hall exit.
Lili had looked between them and him.
He shrugged.
She ran. Ran before they saw her cry. But not before one of them laughed and said it was possible to get the Tease to put out. "Just another Academy slut!"
She had started throwing up a few weeks later. All the female cadets had assumed it was some sort of eating disorder. After all, no one had genetics that were that good. Either the Frond woman was having work done at the early age of sixty, or she was taking matters too far. No genetics. Not all of their workouts. Just a stupid blonde puking her guts out to fit into size zero pants.
The third morning she awoke to empty her stomach into the dorm toilet, she began to have an inkling. A chill in her spine that turned into a roiling in her stomach that made the vomiting even worse. She had sent a message to her professors for the day, saying she would be out sick, and scheduled an emergency visit with the family doctor.
When the pregnancy test came back negative, she began to sob, thanking the gods and her kingly ancestor. And once the tears began, she couldn't make them stop. Decades of training to keep her emotions in check around others, being the perfect society girl, and one little negative shattered her. She wasglad, that is not to be doubted. The very idea that her night with the cadet may have led to something that could not only end her career before it started, but also bring shame on her illustrious family...she had been terrified.
Her doctor was a good one. He had put aside his tablet the moment she started crying and pulled a chair up so he could sit directly in front of his patient. He took her hands, holding them tightly. He rubbed them and squeezed them, whispering "Shhh...shhh...Miss Frond?" He said this over and over until she wiped tears from her eyes and looked at him.
He told her that the vomiting was probably a result of stress. The chemicals in her body were in complete disarray, and her blood pressure was the worst he had ever seen from someone her age. The doctor talked about the large course-load given to new cadets, and the nearly unending physical trials they were put through as "hazing" to weed out the weaker fairies. And he mentioned the hostility of the largely male force to any aspiring female.
Then he squeezed her hands tighter, and his voice was soft, like a father's. He told her that he wanted to help, and he would do whatever she asked, but he had to know what was going on.
Lili's lower lip had trembled, and she tried to understand his words. She wanted to ask what he meant, but every time she opened her mouth, her voice was strangled and liquid, still too full of her tears to actually ask.
He tried to give her time, but eventually realized that she was stuck. Perhaps, after an hour or so, she would have recovered enough to get a few words out without his prompting, but he couldn't leave her like this for that long. So, trying to keep his voice as casual and comforting as possible, all while feeling his own stomach twisting into knots, he went on. "Miss Frond...were you raped?"
She tore her hands from his, and her breaths came quicker, so loud that they filled her ears, and even she, in her torn state, realized she sounded like she was in the middle of a mile-long run. Or a fire-fight. She shook her head. Said "no!" That wasn't it at all. She had gone to him! He had lied, yes, but...she hadn't been...
She hadn't been...
She hadn't...
She had wanted it...
Right?