Chapter Text
"Hey. How are you?"
"Hey Will. Slinging a mean double mocha and swinging at my pad or however that's supposed to go. No, seriously, all good so far."
"Can you come to Giles' tonight? Giles and Tara and I, we've found something and we'd have to check you over, aura-wise."
"I'm getting to break-time in a few, have a seat and tell me more then?"
After they were settled in a niche, Willow filled him in.
"Giles and I, we think we found the ritual. It was probably aimed at Buffy. Make her male and the slayer is gone. And Faith is in a coma, so it would have been open buffet at the Sunnydale Palace. What you did was throw off the aim, that's the last part of the ritual, and of course give them no time to ground themselves, hence the sludge. But it's pretty powerful stuff. They wouldn't take the risk of getting the spell reversed. which would have been bad. For them I mean."
"And? Found a cure yet?" Somehow Xander didn't exactly feel as eager as he acted.
"You'll have to come around after work, then we can check, okay?"
When Xander had finally come off shift, he was a bundle of nervous energy. Giles' apartment had been rearranged, a circle of some powder had been prepared and while Giles was busy in the kitchen, Willow and Tara were kind of ambiguously either comparing scrolls or necking.
"Hey. All ready to put the man back into the Xand-Man?"
"Yes, well." Giles had his inevitable cup of tea and motioned him in. "We're going to read your aura and magical alignment and then we'll know more about how to turn you male again."
"So what do I have to do? Get nekkid and step into the big obvious magic circle here?" Three embarrassed looks told him.
"Aww no. Really?"
"I'm afraid so, Xander. We have to see you as uncontaminated as possible."
"Okay. Can we get it over with right now?"
The ritual itself was pretty anticlimactic. A few pretty lights, funky herbs and if Xander wasn't completely delusional, a few appreciative glances from all participants."
"So," Xander said, after he put on his clothes again.
"I'm sorry, Xander," Willow was visibly trying not to cry, while Giles explained what they had seen. "there's no good news. You're metaphysically as female as is possible. See, everybody has a little male and a little female, but the spell turned all your male elements female, and what female elements there were, have stayed so."
"Now theoretically," Giles continued. "If one had some mystically charged items of yours before the transformation, one could try to reverse it, but it would be the magical equivalent of microsurgery with a weapons-grade laser. And the result for the caster, if he or she could even wield the power in the first place would probably the same as for the casters that originally changed you."
"Oh." The color drained from Xander's face. "Then please, don't even think about thinking about attempting that. My penis isn't worth Willow-sludge and Giles-sludge and Tara-sludge. Just no. Give me a moment?"
"Of course," Giles said. "If you want to be alone, you can use the courtyard. we'll keep an eye and a ward out."
Xander nodded his thanks and sat on the low wall for a few quiet minutes while he rearranged his world. Then she took a deep breath and walked in again.
"You're taking this well." Willow was closer to tears than Xander was.
"What am I supposed to do, Will? Rage, rage against the missing of the dick? Believe me, been there, did that, ruined the t-shirt. But," Xander looked up at her best friend and smiled weakly.
"Being a girl really wasn't in the roadmap for my life, but then, off-roading is supposed to be fun and hey, I've been growing up with that incredibly smart and great person, and she's a girl and here I am, surrounded by chicks who kick ass, and I'm thinking yeah, being one of those chicks? Might not suck that much."