Chapter Text
“Well, at least I’m fucking,’” Durza purred.
The three swaggered in through the ruin of Jareth’s palace door.
“Really, King, I am ,well,” Rumple’s hands fluttered and he quickly caught them to his chest. “I feel, well, that is to say, perhaps not entirely happy about what’s happened to your domicile.” Rumple, valuing his privacy so highly, would have been appalled had his own door been blown to smoking smithereens. So he felt ever so slightly a twitch of almost remorse; however, it wasn’t his door, nor his inconvenience, so the feeling quickly passed, surmounted by a snide amusement.
Rumple gave Durza a sly, conspiratorial look as the three companions followed Jareth’s swaying ass to the dining hall.
“So, King,” Rumple made a friendly sound, interested,” you do seem a bit, hmm, frustrated, this evening. Anything I can help with? For a price , of course.”
“Sit.” Jareth imperiously indicated the high backed chairs around the banquet table, ignoring the imp’s taunt. “Music,” he demanded. Immediately a haunting melody began to play, gardenia and dirt scented candles bursting to light. “Dinner is served gentlemen, observe the beauty of the Underground.”
An entire roast Unicorn, with all the”fixins”, appeared on the polished table. Goblins and chickens rushed around to serve and pour wine. The smell was as if a constipated florist who had consumed his own rotted product for years had suddenly loosed his bowels at once. Sweet and putrid, the unicorn meat steamed like a pile of shit in July.
“Exquisite,” Durza murmured. The stomach churning scent of a pure beast viciously killed. So charming. This dinner might be worth it after all. He breathed deeply, he wouldn’t eat, of course, but the scent was extremely satisfying. His nostrils flared and black poison dripped from his nails. He wished Arya were here, now, bound and helpless. The romance of the unicorn was getting to him, he shook back his fall of blood red hair, mastering his weak romantic side.