Chapter Text
“It has been three months, I had too much to drink again, and all the thoughts that I have been trying to forget came rushing back in.
I cannot forget about you, I’m trying but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to actually do it.
All I can think about is you, how much I miss your face, your smile and the light in your eyes. How much I miss your touch and how you made me feel safe when I was scared after my nightmares. I miss your teddy bear hugs, your silly jokes and your stupid theories about the universe.
I miss our late night talks when we talked about everything and nothing at all.
I miss you and it hurts so much.
I don’t go to our coffee shop anymore because I’m scared of seeing you and make thing harder for us. I miss our lunch breaks in there, how we always sat at the same booth and ate the same things every time and talked about our mornings or when I just sat there in silence and watched you typing in your notebook because you had so much work to do but didn’t want to miss our lunch together. I hope you’re still going there because it was one of your favorite places to write and had your favorite pastries.
I hope that you are hurting less than I am.
Love, Penelope”
Penelope did not remember writing the letter in the next morning.
Three fucking months and her life was a mess still, she had to do something. She then remembered that Josie suggested that she should do therapy but Penelope was too scared of the thing in her own head, so she just ignored the idea. She was scared of opening up, of talking about her fears. Thought that she could deal with everything alone as always, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe that was one of the reasons they fought so much when Josie brought up their future in the final months of their relationship, maybe she should have followed Josie’s advice.
Maybe therapy is a good place to start so she could do better in the future. Do better to herself and the people left in her life.
In the next day, when she could actually think like a proper human being she was going to take her life back. She was Penelope Park, she was powerful, she did not wallow in self-pity, she could do better than this.
No more drinking her weight in alcohol, no more one night stands. Enough is enough.
It is time to get her shit together