Chapter Text
Watching the fire play with the wood in the fireplace had something peaceful, especially when your family was around you, engaged in various conversation about heartwarming memories with a hot chocolate in each of their hands. Some hands decorated with watches, some with bracelets, others wore wedding rings. Alec wondered if he was ever going to wear such a display of love and belonging.
Weird how he always imagined Magnus’ delicate and soft hand in his, matching wedding bands and all, wondering if his brain just imagined that particular hand because of their special friendship. Not that it mattered to Alec anyway, Magnus always said he would not marry anyone. But if that was true then why on earth did he agree to marry Alec in case he was still single in five years back then. Because he pitied him? Alec would not let this happen, he could never ruin his best friends life like that. He just needed to find someone who treated him and cared about him just as Magnus did as soon as possible, preferably before his birthday so Magnus would not even need an excuse not to marry him. Maybe he was lucky enough and his best friend had forgotten about the contract at all. And maybe, just maybe, the right guy would cross his path and make him a honest man. Maybe someday, he thought when someone placed a hand on his shoulder and brought him back to reality.
“Hey bud, you alright? It seems like you are lost in your own world since I got here.” Jace noticed, worry laced his tone as he furrowed his brows and took a seat next to him on the else empty couch. “Is it because of the thing with Camille?” he added, this time with caution.
It was Alec’s turn to furrow his brows and frown at his brothers comment. “Camille? What about her?”
“Oh you know, she is teaming up with Magnus for the upcoming season. They will spend a lot of time together. Isabelle said that her style is actually quite good and that Magnus and Camille could create some masterpieces.” Jace explained, trying to sound as nonchalant as he could muster.
Magnus had not mentioned Camille’s name in forever, not since what went down in high school. Sure, she was like a taboo topic for both of them and both hated to even think about that snake of a women but why did Magnus not tell him about it? Why would he keep that thing from him? And most importantly, why did his best friend trust everyone else with this topic but not Alec? His stomach turned at the thought of Magnus not trusting him with such a big deal.
“Oh yeah that Camille thing. He told me about it and I am fine with it. Why would I not be? It is Magnus career we are talking about. He should do whatever he thinks is right for his reputation and image and for him of course. And now excuse me but it reminded me about my own job and that I should check my mails from an important client I have. Justice never sleeps!” Alec replied hastily before he got up, scrambled his things together and disappeared up the stairs into his old room. Jace didn’t even have a chance to retort something.
“What did you say or do to your brother that made him want to flee in terror as soon as possible?” Magnus asked, suddenly standing next to Jace, a concerned look on his features. Jace just scoffed at the assumption that it was his fault that Alec left the living area and crossed his arms as a pout spread on his lips.
“I just asked him how he was doing, because he seemed so out of it since I got here. That is it. He just remembered that he had to text back a client and said that ‘Justice never sleeps!’ like some hero in disguise. Maybe you should go upstairs and check on your boyfriend.” Jace said with a knowing smirk on his lips. Magnus always hated that smirk, it made Alec’s brother look like a god, it made him look so sure of himself, god no matter how much Jace grew on Magnus, sometimes he wished he could wipe that smirk of his face especially when he said things like that about him and Alec. He knew damn well that that what he implied was not the case.
“I will correct you here, it’s best friend. No more, no less. Are we on the same page?” Magnus asked, a little irritated with Jace implications. But instead of letting it go Jace leaned into Magnus’ personal space, still that smirk on his face.
“Oh my, why are you getting all worked up over the word boyfriend? Just wait, a couple more month and it will be husband.” Jace exclaimed in an excited whisper, baring his pearly white teeth in a wide grin. Seeing the pure confusion on Magnus face he decided to clarify the situation. “You know the deal you made with my brother? The 5 year plan? Which you made almost 5 years ago, dear brother-in-law?” he explained with a smug expression on his face.
“Oh shut up, I still have a little bit of time to find prince charming for your brother.” Magnus replied and stood up again, trying to get away from this conversation.
“What for? To make you both miserable for the rest of your sad lives? You know you are the perfect person for him. You two are made for each other. And don’t even act like you don’t already know. Don’t you think we all have noticed how you had even more one night stands when Alec had a boyfriend? Wake up, princess. It’s you he wants, he just dates all these guys because you always seem busy with your lovers of the day. You two are just idiots.” The cocky look on Jace’s face was gone and replaced by genuine concern. “Listen to me, Magnus. Just do me, us all but above all you and Alec a favour and go tell him how you really feel about him. Jeez, go grab him and make sweet slow love to him for all I care. Just do something about this whole mess. It hurts to watch you both tiptoe around each other. You two are practically married since you were what? Three years old? There is a reason why mom hung all those mistletoes around.” Jace ended the speech with a wink.
For a moment he thought he made Magnus speechless, which was a rare occasion really, but he crowed too soon. Next thing he new Magnus was in his personal space his eyes twinkling with fury.
“I hope for you that you haven’t told your brother about this theory of yours because I don’t want to see him disappointed and heartbroken when I tell him that he is definitely not my type and that I regret making this deal in the first place.”
“Alec not your type? Who are you trying to convince here, huh? Alec is your only type! And regretting the deal? Really? Maybe regretting not marrying him then and there! God Bane, you are full of shit!” Jace spat at Magnus, angry at him being still in denial after all these years.
“Fuck you, Lightwood! Maybe you should take care of your heavily pregnant fiance instead of discussing your brother’s and mine relationship.” Magnus snarled at him, fuming with rage. He grabbed his hot chocolate, which was not hot at all anymore, and left the room just as Alec did mere minutes before, leaving his family members and friends shocked because of his sudden outburst.
“What happened?” It was Nadya Bane who found her voice first.
“The usual, your son is being unbelievably stubborn, Nadya.” Jace explained as calm as ever. It made Nadya roll her eyes and sigh.
“Well, nothing knew. Was it about him and Alexander?”
“Yup, what else would this be about?”
“These Idiots, still being as blind as 10 years ago.”
“That’s exactly what I told him. Wow, that’s why I love you Banes so much.”
A knock sounded at his bedroom door and Alec reluctantly called an irritated “Come in if you are not Jace.” In retrospect he should have known that it was Magnus who was asking to be let in. He was always the one making sure that Alec was okay, no matter what the circumstances were. And he was glad that he let him in, even though Magnus didn’t mention his cooperation with a certain Camille Belcourt. Alec should not be as mad about the whole thing as he was, Magnus didn’t even know half of the things that went down back then and he sure wouldn’t tell him about it. He just could not. Not if he wanted to put their friendship at risk and if that ever happened, well how was he supposed to survive and continue his life. God, why did she has to appear in their lives at all. She would cost him everything in life at one point, Alec was sure of that.
“Hey there, darling mine. Can I keep you some company or are you busy with your client.” Magnus asked, sounding a little whiny, as he plopped down on the bed next to his best friend, not even waiting for Alec’s reply. Magnus knew that Alec would never tell him to go away. He put his head on Alec’s thigh and closed his eyes, breathing in the familiar and comforting scent of Alexander Lightwood’s bedsheets. “Your mom still uses the same detergent. Also your brother is an idiot.” he mumbled, sleep lacing his voice. He was more tired than he expected. It was probably the hustle and bustle and preparations for the big day that made him feel worn out.
Alec sighed and the anger was soon forgotten as he watched his best friend getting comfortable on him. He scooted down a bit so he could lie down as well. He lifted Magnus head, gently, and put it back down on his chest, his finger running through the spiked hair. “Well I hope you are talking about Jace because I totally agree.” Alec muttered, a chuckle escaped his lips.
“Oh yeah, I totally meant Jace. Little Max is way too innocent and pure to be called like that.”
“What did Jace do or say that made you so angry?” Alec asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer. Were they arguing about Camille? Would Magnus tell him about her now? God, was he ready for that?
“Oh you know, just, nothing really. It was nothing important. What about you?” Magnus finally told him after a while, his voice was getting more slurry and quieter with each sentence. So he didn’t want to tell Alec what the trigger was. Yeah, fine, Alec could handle that. But that didn’t mean that he would tell Magnus. He wouldn’t be responsible for killing the mood and drive Magnus away from him, just because he brought Camille up. With his luck Magnus would realize there and then that Camille was his one true love and leave Alec because Camille was everything he ever wanted. What a horrible scenario.
“Oh you know, nothing important.”
It was silent for a couple minutes and in those minutes Alec’s thought went wild. What if Camille would driver her claws into Magnus and snatch him away. It almost happened once, maybe it could happen again. He wouldn’t even blame Magnus. Camille was unbelievably pretty, intelligent, successful and she had the same passion as Magnus. What is there not to love about her? Suddenly panic grabbed him and he had the urge to talk about this with Magnus.
“Listen I don’t know where to start and how to put this, but Magnus you are my best friend, you have been my best friend since kindergarten and you mean the world to me. And I love you, I love you so much and sometimes I think it overwhelms me because I never felt like this with any of my boyfriends. I always searched for someone who would make me feel like you do, who would treat me like you, who would care about me like you, who makes me laugh and knows exactly what to do in any situation. Who knows me better than anyone else does. Just like you do, Mags. Oh my god I think that I- that I-” and suddenly it was clear as day for Alec. That’s why he couldn’t have nice things. Why no one was ideal and why he never felt with his former boyfriends what he felt with Magnus.
“I fell in love with you. And I might have been in love with you since day one.”
He waited for a reaction from his best friends, for something really, but all he got in return were soft snores from the man on top of him. His chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Alec didn’t know if he should cry or laugh. This was a big mistake on his behalf, he should never have said that out loud, not that it mattered. Magnus didn’t hear it anyway. But Alec did, he said these words out loud and now he couldn’t take them back anymore. There were out there and Alec didn’t know what to do with them. He regretted them, big time. Being glad that Magnus didn’t hear them, he was just relieved that he didn’t put their friendship on the line because of such a stupid mistake. Magnus would never return Alec’s love for the man. Not the love Alec felt for his best friend. How absolutely naive he had to be, to believe that he was not on love with Magnus. Of course he was in love with his best friend, the others were right. But Magnus would never feel the same for him, he would lose him either because of Camille or someone else who was even better than that snake, it was inevitable. Alec should do the best out of the situation and take advantage of the time he had still left with his best friend. Suddenly his world seemed even worse than before. His fingertips stroked gently over Magnus’ cheeks.
“I am sorry I fell in love with you. I never meant for this to happen.”
Mornings at the Lightwood household were always busy, especially now when the house was filled with guests. And it always, always smelled like freshly brewed coffee and pancakes with extra maple sirup. People were already gathered by the kitchen island, still in pyjamas, drinking their morning coffee and discussing the upcoming events. Jace kissing his bride to be, Clary, who was pregnant with their first child under one of the many mistletoes. Maryse and Nadya reorganized the presents under the christmas tree and Max and Simon talked about the latest Star Wars movie.
A yelp escaped Alec’s lips as someone wrapped their arms around his waist and spun him around. “Merry Christmas, Alexander.” Magnus greeted him with a wide cheery smile on his face.
“Merry Christmas, Magnus.” Alec replied. Magnus hands on his middle felt like they were burning holes into his skin. It felt wrong on so many levels. He tried to peel them off as casual as he could be in such a situation, his cheeks started to burn. It never felt weird before, quite the opposite, it was always the most natural thing, so why did it feel out of place now?
“Ehm, they are about to open the presents, we shouldn’t miss that.” Alec told him as he stepped away from Magnus, trying to bring some space between them. Magnus was not used to his best friend acting like he acted right now. He only witnessed such behaviour if said man was uncomfortable in a situation and tried to get out of it. Magnus furrowed his brows and followed Alec to the tree, wrapping his hand around his arm and pulling him back.
“Is everything alright?” Magnus asked, worry evident in his voice and features.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Camille and you?”
Oh well, Alec didn’t mean to let it slip just like that. Alexander Lightwood had no chill sometimes and was as straightforward as they come. Magnus visibly gulped and froze, his hand letting go of Alec’s arm like he was burned by simply touching his skin.
“Because I knew how you would react and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“So you thought it would be a better option to tell everyone else and leave me in the dark?”
“I just told Isabelle about it, and she told Jace about it and well you know Jace, he can’t keep his mouth shut for the love of god.”
“So what now? Are you planning on getting back together with her? Is she gonna have your cute babies? Am I going to get a wedding invitation out of the blue? Will I even get one, because who needs me when you have her, right?” Trusting Magnus with his deepest fears was dangerous. Alec should be more cautious, nobody wanted to witness him spilling his feelings for Magnus and ruining the whole christmas day. But instead of accusing Alec of loving Magnus, he started to chuckle. The older man cupped his best friend’s cheek and pulled him closer, leaving Alec as confused as ever.
“You stupid, stupid lawyer. I would never trade you for anyone, you hear me? Especially not for such a toxic person as Camille Belcourt. I won’t even see her that often, we will just compare some design and our names will be on the PR stuff, nothing else okay? Do you really think I am dense enough to get back with her? After everything that happened? God Alexander, have some faith in me, will you? But I have to admit, darling, you are quite cute when you are jealous.” Magnus finished his little speech and wrapped both his arms around the other man, pulling him into a tight hug. “You are my best friend and number one priority, that will never change.” he added in a whisper, grabbing the fabric of Alec’s hoodie. Instead of being weirded out and feeling out of place, Alec also slung his arms around the smaller man, despite how he felt about being close to him just minutes ago. Magnus was still his best friend, and nothing could change that, not even the stupid feelings he had for him. He just needed to forget about them and act like he always did.
“Just for the record, I was not jealous. I just could not let you make the biggest mistake of your life. Let’s open the presents now, everyone is probably waiting for us.” Alec said and took Magnus hand like it was the easiest thing in the world and tugged him to their friends and family gathered around the christmas tree.
It was quite the chaos for 15 people to open all the presents and it left such a mess of wrapping paper and bows on the floor. The picture Magnus got Alec before they came home was apparently a forerunner for the actual present. He egged Maryse and Nadya to give him all the photos they could find, pictureing him and Alec in various stages of their life. He knew Alexander would prefer something self made to something expensive, so he designed a photo album with both of their names embroidered to the cover and put the photos in chronological order into the album, commenting on each picture with his elegant handwriting. It was no surprise when Alec pulled Magnus into another bone crushing hug as he tried to hold back his tears. The present he got from Magnus made him feel quite bad about his own gift for his best friend, it was nothing compared to what he got. So he handed Magnus a little jewelry box, promising to get him something better once they were back in New York. Inside the box were two delicate, filigree bracelets. Each of them had a letter pendant and a little stone. An A for Alec and a blue stone and a M for Magnus and a golden little stone.
“The letters will light up once they are activated and close to each other. So you always know that I am right there for you.” Alec explained.
“Thank you Alexander, that is the most thoughtful present I have ever received. I will never take it off.”
“Great, now that we established that Magnus and Alec are once again the most disgustingly cute couple that ever existed, can we go over to the good part, the food?” Somehow Jace always managed to ruin the mood and earned himself a quite ‘Fuck you, Jace.’ from both Alec and Magnus and a hit on the back of his head from Clary. “Ouch, babe, you are supposed to be on my side. Why can’t we be like them?”
“Because you are you, babe.” Clary shot back in a sarcastic tone and tugged Jace along into the kitchen, the others following them. A pregnant Clary was apparently a more fierce Clary than usually.
With a chuckle Alec stood up as well and helped Magnus get up from the couch they were sitting on. They were just about to enter the kitchen area when Isabelle called for them to stop. Magnus bumping into Alexander as he stopped in his tracks.
“Alec, watch out!”
“What, why?”
A smirk spread on his sisters face, just as on Jaces. The others looked just liked Alec felt, pretty confused.
“Well, wow, would you look at that? You two are standing under a mistletoe. We all know what that means. Sorry guys, I don’t make the rules.” Izzy proclaimed as she took a seat next to her little brother Max, looking as smug as ever.
“Iz, come on, that’s stupid.” Alec tried his best to get out of this. He could impossibly kiss his best friend in front of an audience. His biggest fear was that we wouldn’t want to stop once he started. Alec’s palms started to sweat and his pulse got quicker, his heart racing.
“Alexander.” It was Magnus voice, so close to him, so familiar, so calming. His soft fingertips trailed up his arms as he gently laid his hands on Alec’s cheeks and pulled him down. He stopped before their lips met. “ Do you trust me?” Magnus mumbled. And how could he not? So he nodded and it didn’t take more for Magnus than that to press his lips to Alec’s in a soft kiss. But it soon turned into more than their usual peck on the lips and Alec placed his hands on Magnus waist, pulling him closer. For a second he swore he could feel a touch of tongue against his own.
“Woah, alright guys, keep it g-rated.” Someone exclaimed, someone even whistled, which startled both boys and made them retreat from one another.
“Magus. I-”
“Stop, it was just a kiss, right? Don’t worry about it, I just did it because Izzy was being a little shit. No big deal. It meant nothing.”
“Right. No big deal.”
Alec tried his best to hide his disappointed expression, as he finally took his seat between his mother and Magnus. After another couple seconds he even dared to take a look around the table, seeing the big smiles on his siblings faces, even his mother and Magnus’ mom looked quite pleased with the outcome. If they just knew, that it would never happen again. That Magnus probably meant what he said, that it meant nothing to him. And god how his heart ached, when Magnus took the seat next to him and reached his hand out to grasp Alec’s hand in his under the table, for no one to see, a cheeky smile plastered on his perfect face. How he desperately wished that it meant to Magnus just as much, as it meant to him. He wanted to go back to the times when he had stupidly mistaken his feelings for sheer platonic love, that was easier to deal with.
Too bad that poor Alexander didn’t know that Magnus was fighting the same inner battle with himself.