Chapter Text
Epilogue
I turned Black Manor into an orphanage. After I had it decursed of course. There was no need for us to have three homes. Severus and I spend the majority of our time at Hogwarts anyway. The three of us do.
It took a couple years before Severus finally got it in that thick untrusting skull of his that I wasn’t going to leave him. In all honesty I think in the back of his mind that he’s still prepared for me to lose interest or whatever it is that he thinks will make me leave him. But it took a couple years of me begging- both as his pet and boyfriend for him to agree that we should adopt.
It was more or less him agreeing to get me to stop begging. There were potions that he could have taken for us to have his own, but he was adamant that if there was going to be a kid raised by us, it would be one that wasn’t biologically ours. He wanted to adopt. He wanted to give a sable environment to someone that didn’t have it. What more… he insisted that if we adopted, then it would not be an infant.
He said in his blunt tone that he wanted someone ‘unwanted’. He told me that if we were going to adopt, then he wanted someone ‘unwanted’. He didn’t waver from those words. I didn’t really need to ask him why. It was pretty obvious. So with his very strict guidelines, we went in search of ‘our child’. A child no younger than twelve that was likely to never be adopted.
We found her.
Carina.
A young girl- fourteen years old. Her parents died when she was six and her immediate relatives did not wish to adopt her because she was a squib. All in all, she looks pretty plain with an olive complexion and dark hair. Her eyes are a dull color as if she’s lost any interest in the world around her. She refuses to listen to either Severus or myself. Somehow she’s found a way to be as stubborn as her adoptive mother… father…. Whatever.
All of that said though.
I couldn’t think of someone better to be our daughter.
Her education is delayed and Severus spends a lot of time with her. She almost always refuses to give his lectures the time of day, but patiently he continues. I can tell that she’s just waiting for us to give up on her. I can tell that she’s just waiting for us to send her back because she wasn’t good enough.
“I don’t get it.” She says blandly.
“Well, let me see if I can explain it a different way.” Severus has been going over muggle literature.
“Don’t bother.” She says rolling her eyes. “I’m to stupid to get it.” Her tone doesn’t have any heat or cold behind it. She says the words as if they were a well-known fact.
“No daughter of mine is stupid.”
“Well I hate to break it to the two of you, but I’m not your daughter.” Her eyes challenge him and it would almost be humorous to see Severus meet his match, but he doesn’t get frustrated. He doesn’t raise to the bait.
No. He smiles.
“It’s okay now.” He says very calmly. Very lovingly. “I understand.”
“You don’t understand anything!” He nods calmly and understandingly.
“You weren’t wanted.” Okay. Didn’t expect him to say that to her. I really hope he knows where he’s going. Her eyes are narrowed in irritation. I can see her preparing to throw insults at him. This wouldn’t be the first time. She actually has quite the vulgar vocabulary.
“Take it back.” She says icily.
“I will not. You were not wanted because you are a defect. Right?” Her teeth are clinched together. “You are a squib and your own family did not want you simply because of something you had no control over.”
“Take it back!”
“No.” He says back.
“Severus?” I say but he doesn’t even look in my direction.
“I told you, I understand.” His words are very calm. “My father didn’t know that my mother was a witch. He didn’t want me either. And he made it a point to tell me how unwanted I was each and every day. I can’t relate to anyone that grew up in a loving and stable environment. I’m not able to comprehend that, and I don’t even know if I could recreate an environment like that. I don’t have a frame of reference. We aren’t your parents. I have no intention of trying to replace your parents who must have loved you very much. You don’t have to think of me and Sirius as a replacement because we aren’t.”
The anger that was raising seems to be fading away.
“You can get angry still.” Severus continues. “I got angry a lot. Did a lot of bad things to deal with how angry I was. And how isolated I was. I’m not your parent and you aren’t my daughter, but you are stuck with us until you at least turn eighteen. Until then. You just have to deal with us. But. No daughter of mine is stupid, and I will make sure that you have the knowledge to go to any muggle college you desire and make whatever life you want. Once you can take care of yourself, if you decide that you want nothing to do with Sirius or myself then fine. But until then, we are a family.”
She doesn’t seem to know what to say to him. She’s only been with us for about a week, and it could still be to early to expect her to feel comfortable around us. Severus however doesn’t care. He’s the same way he’s always been. He says what’s on his mind rather it’ll be well received or not.
“You should have adopted someone else.” Is all she says.
“No. We made the right choice.” Severus says flipping pages. “He’s a pain in the ass, I’m a pain in the ass, and you are a pain in the ass. You fit right in.” Turning to me, Severus locks eyes. “You were going to help her with history, right? I’m pants as history.”
“Yes yes. But I think it’s about time she takes a break. Being tired isn’t going to help her improve quicker. I think she’s done enough for today.” She looks hopeful at this and Severus agrees silently.
“Fine, she can be done for today, but tomorrow I will be helping you catch up in your studies.” She’s basically homeschooled while living in a school that she can’t attend. When we adopted her, she was far behind on her assignments because she just stopped doing them. She stopped caring.
“I’ll start cooking, Severus you can go take a bathe.” He nods thankful.
“I don’t see how you can put up with him.” She says to me once he leaves the room.
“For a long time, I didn’t. To tell the truth when we were students at this school, I was friends with a group that pretty well hated him. We terrorized him. Tortured more like. I was completely awful to him.”
“I’m sure he deserved it.” She’s glaring at the doorway. “He’s annoying.”
“That’s just how he shows he cares.” I say pulling out pots and pans. We don’t always eat in our rooms, and I could ask Sprinkle to just bring us something to eat, but this is fine. It’s nice to think of us as an actual family. “Severus isn’t good with talking. He trips over his words and says the wrong thing. It’s easy to misunderstand him. Carina, Severus was reluctant to adopt a child because he knows his own short comings. Most people dislike him until they get to know him. Once people get past his sharp tongue they can see that he’s actually a nice guy. I think Severus wanted to adopt a child that reminded him most of himself.”
“I’m nothing like him.”
“You are shrewd, understandably cynical, untrusting, and as Severus not so eloquently put it, unwanted. You are very much like Severus. It’s actually very cute to watch the two of you interact.” She’s unleashing her glare at me. Yes, so much like Severus. “You are already preparing for when we throw you away, and Severus is already preparing for when you throw us away.” Her mouth hangs open not knowing how to respond. “He’s already prepared himself to adore you and for you to never open up to him. But at least you will be able to support yourself. He’s decided that if he cannot be your family that he will at least be your benefactor.” Her eyes soften a bit. “He’s a hard ass, and brutally honest, and painfully stubborn, but most parents are.”
Severus must have decided on a short bath because he comes back relatively quickly still drying his hair.
“This weekend, we will make a trip into Hogsmeade and muggle London. I have a few ingredients that I need to get, and you’ll be needing some more clothes.” Severus isn’t even bothering to look at either of us as he dries his hair.
“I don’t need any clothes. I have clothes.”
“Secondhand that are either too big or too small.”
“It sounds like a fun outing.” I say trying to keep the peace. “Other than clothes, is there anything else you need or want.” She opens her mouth to say something then closes it back. Awkwardly she crosses her arms.
“I do need a few things. If I could just borrow a bit of money and visit a drug store then…”
“Sanitary napkins and tampons are all under the bathroom sink.” Is all Severus says while taking over the cooking. Her face is red and she’s not saying anything. “You do not have to be concerned with borrowing or paying back. If there is something you require, all you have to do is tell us. Surely there must be something you wanted but couldn’t have when you were living in the orphanage.” She’s still red and silent. Severus exhales. “Why does everyone make this out to be such a big deal. You are a female and it is natural for your body to go through changes. Anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable for such a thing is an asshole. Please don’t think of Sirius or myself as men we are just your pseudo parents. If you need something then we need to know. At first it may be awkward as we all get use to this arrangement, but I’m sure that will be temporary.”
“I want a cat.” She says very quietly. “We couldn’t have animals at the orphanage. And I want a cat.”
“I don’t believe in purchasing animals that were bred, when there are many animals without homes already, so it will have to be one from a pound. As I’m sure you can imagine, any animal that is from such an environment will have their own issues and hang-ups. They may be untrusting and need a lot of patience.”
“Why’d it have to be a cat.” I say and Severus smirks at me.
“And you will play nice with it.” Severus says still looking at me. Turning back to our daughter he looks very gentle. “I think adopting a cat is a great idea though. True it will take a lot of responsibility, but you seem plenty mature enough for that.”
“Is it really okay?” She asks.
“Of course. So you are a cat person.” He’s laughing lightly. “I can respect that. Personally though. I’ve always been a bit of a dog person.” His eyes cut to me and I feel warm all over.
“Stop that or it’ll make me blush.” I say and Severus just giggles more. Our daughter looks between the two of us. “I’m an animagus. A dog animagus. You see. I told you that I use to terrorize him when we were students.”
“Oh, already telling her our thrilling backstory of love and woe?” He says sarcastically.
“Oh hush you.” I say. “Well. I had shifted into a dog and Severus thinking me a stray took me in. He basically adopted me. Then I found out that this sour faced sweetheart was positively smitten with me and there was really no going back.”
“You two really love each other then.” She says this absentmindedly. “You just both seem so different.”
“He wore me down. I refused him many times, but he was just so persistent that I eventually gave up.” Severus says. “I’m… very happy now.” Fuck. This man. He has a small pleased smile on his face and I want to take him into my arms and kiss him passionately… but I will wait until tonight.
Severus finishes up dinner and we all sit at the table. I know this is still difficult for her, but I have no doubts that she will eventually get use to our quirky family.
She’s flawed and difficult just like Severus. She’s untrusting and guarded and Severus doesn’t even seem deterred by this. In fact. He’s all the more intent to love her unconditionally. I already love her. She’s so much like my lover that it’s easy to think of her as ours. And this isn’t my first time trying to convince someone that I love them. I know what to do. I have to be patient.
Baby steps.