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[EPISODE 18]

“Seriously! How dusty did it really have to be?!” Rodney was groaning as he kept patting himself down, then sneezing at the dust cloud he was creating.

John grinned at his Mate, then winced as his back twinged painfully. It couldn’t be good for anyone, sitting on cold hard dirt for three hours listening to boring laments to the goddesses of the harvest. Before they were allowed cushions, food and drink.

“Stop Moaning.” Ronon growled. “At least you were comfortable!”

“Comfortable!?” Rodney squeaked angrily, “Do you have any idea how much dirt got in my clothes! It’s like walking in sandpaper!”

“He’s got a point.” Amelia said at Ronon’s side as she began itching at her belly. “I thought Shifting would at least alleviate the irritation… It better not be ants.” She said distractedly.

Chief Alerentca had known about Rodney being a large pray animal, and as soon as she had seen him had asked him to sit besides her during the ceremony, sure that their goddesses would love to look upon his greatness too. But Rodney being the ass he could be, wasn’t going to go alone, so introduced Amelia too, so they both got to Shift and sit in the dirt. Ronon had been a bit unhappy about it, but like John had pointed out, Rodney was with her, and it wasn’t like they were going far.

“ANTS!?” Rodney screeched, making John wince as he turned to see his Mate starting to open his flack jacket to take it off.

“There were no ants, Rodney.” John drawled as he grasped his Mate’s wrists and held them lightly, forcing Rodney to relax. “We’d all be itching too.”

“If you are in such distress.” Teyla said as she came up to their side. “We could rest here so you both can shake out your clothes?”

“Oh, god, yes!” Amelia gasped as she jogged over to a patch of dry-ish looking grass at the side of the road back to the Gate, where she instantly began taking her flack jacket off.

Rodney gave a little whine and John realised he still had hold of his Mates wrists, so he let go of one and pulled Rodney over beside the other Shifter and began helping him get his kit off too. He let out a grunt of surprise when he had taken hold of the bottom of Rodney’s t-shirt and a ton of dry dirt fell out. He felt a little guilty he hadn’t thought it was as bad as Rodney made out. “Sorry.” He uttered as he pulled the item over Rodney’s head and shook it out, coughing at all the dust.

“Do you need any assistance?” Teyla asked as she stepped up to them.

John instantly shook his head mutely.

“No offence,” Rodney told her as John started unbuckling his belt. “It’s an Alpha thing.”

“You could help me.” Amelia said as Ronon was shaking out her own t-shirt. “My Mate isn’t so anal about stuff like that.”

“Should I be?” Ronon grumbled, making John smile at his seriousness.

“No.” Amelia chuckled, as John knelt to start undoing Rodney’s boots. “I like you just the way you are… also; I don’t think any of your cloths would fit me.”

“Clothes?” John heard Ronon ask.

“Rodney always wears an already warn item of John’s.” Teyla was saying. “I found it a little strange at first, but I think I understand it more now. It is an expression of ownership?”

John cringed a little. He knew he was about as subtle as a brick when it came to his feeling towards Rodney and anyone who got close to him. He just didn’t like to know he wasn’t being as un-obvious as he thought he wanted to be. “Ouch!” He cried when he felt knuckles rap the top of his head.

“That thought actually hurt!” Rodney snapped down at him, before he was looking behind John to the rest of their party as he stepped out of one of his boots. “And Teyla I think you might be right, but all I know is that it makes him happy, and not be so possessively protective, so, anything for an easy life.”

John sighed as he undid the lasses on Rodney’s other boot. “Don’t hear you complaining.” He grumbled, even he knew he was being a little sulky. Which made Rodney chuckle as he took the other boot off then reached up and pulled his Mates pants down, getting a face full of dirt as he did so.

“Jesus.” John exclaimed as Rodney stepped away. “Were you planning on sinking Atlantis with all this?” there was still muck clinging to the fine hair on Rodney’s legs, and John was surprised he actually hadn’t felt all the discomfort from his Mate. Even Rodney’s knees were rubbed red from all the abrasion. “Will it be easier to just Shift and walk back that way?”

“Oh, hell, no.” Amelia groaned. And John turned in time to see the other Shifter bending over as she pulled the bottom off her bra away from her body and dirt fell out. “No peeking!” She grinned when she caught John looking, not like she was actually putting anything on show. And not like he was interested even if she was. So he just rolled his eyes at her as he turned back to Rodney. Who was currently running his hands around the inside of his boxer shorts, dust coming out the legs.

“How the hell did it get down there?” John asked. Sure, it had been dusty, but he was confused at how the Shifters had come out like they had been buried.

“It was windy where we were.” Amelia complained. “and every time the Chief said something I couldn’t quite understand, there was like a little dust storm around us. I think it got into our fur and though our clothes that way… it wasn’t a problem till we started walking back.”

“It wasn’t windy.” Ronon answered, sounding a little confused.

“Yeah.” John agreed, “We didn’t feel or see anything.”

“There was a slight haze in the air.” Teyla said. “But I thought it was because of the heat and the dryness of the day.”

“Well,” John said as he poured dirt out of Rodney’s boots. “Are you still sure it wouldn’t be easier Shifter?”

“I need a shower before I Shift again.” Rodney grumbled as he was shaking out his pants into the still afternoon air. “My skin feels dry.”

“Like it will crack if we Shift.” Amelia finished a little baffled and John could feel the confusion from Rodney too.

“I think I understand how you feel.” Teyla was saying. “But once we have showered Kanan and Torren should be waiting for me so we can all go home while you and Rodney are away.”

“That’s tomorrow?” Rodney squeaked and John felt a splash of panic.

“Yes, Rodney.” John drawled as he started to help him back into his clothes. Now they had enough power to gate back to Earth, the IOA were forcing personnel to take vacations, something about stress or PTSD. So, as it was coming up to six months since Atlantis had been on Earth, Jeannie had insisted they come back to celebrate Maddy’s birthday, and they could all spend some time in Hawaii with both families.

John still felt a little apprehensive about the whole thing. Especially about going to Hawaii, and he still didn’t know if any airline would take such a heavily pregnant woman. Or she looked it, as it had been confirmed Jeannie was having twins. Thought apparently it was a boy and a girl in this reality.

“Crap! But I was planning on doing some experiment with Zelenka!”

“It’s going to have to wait two weeks.” John said softly.

Rodney sighed, and John felt a moment of hesitation, which usually meant Rodney wasn’t telling him something, so he paused as he looked up at his Mate, waiting.

“Fine.” Rodney broke. “But that new guy… Leff... Leewell… Loo”

“Doctor Llewellyn?” John offered.

“Yeah, him.” Rodney sighed again.

“He doesn’t like Shifters.” Amelia said from behind them. “He keeps avoiding me like the plague.”

“Good.” Ronon said gruffly.

“That true?” John frowned as he helped Rodney into his pants.

“Yeah… I asked him to check on part of the sewerage tanks, and he refused. Had to leave it to Zelenka, but he’s been busy with his own work. I have to make sure he got someone to sort it out. We were having a problem with a methane build up… Remind me when we get back.”

“Sure.” John said. “But why didn’t he listen to you?”

“Because according to ‘him’. I’m not the Head of the Science Department.” Rodney bit out angrily. “And the task was beneath him.”

John huffed. “I’ll see to it.” He promised. Even Zelenka was annoyed that they still hadn’t promoted Rodney. But everyone on Atlantis soon learned who actually lead the science dep soon enough. So for Llewellyn to still be resisting that after six months meant he was about du for a one way ticket back to Earth. “But you really should have told me earlier if this was a problem.” He admonished.

“It wasn’t until yesterday.” Rodney said. “He was mostly in Zelenka’s labs… not like Lewis would come into mine.”

“Is this the same man who told Lieutenant Sanderson that she should lie back and think of America?” Teyla asked.

“What?” John gasped as he turned to look at her. “Seriously? Why have I not heard of that?”

“Because Amanda wasn’t impressed.” Amelia said as she was pulling her t-shirt over her head. “She went straight to Woolsey.”

“When was this?” John demanded.

“Umm… three day’s ago?” Amelia said.

“Oh.” John deflated a little. “Well, I guess I’ll drag him though the gate tomorrow personally. “Sanderson is the one who wears her hair in pigtails?”

“That is her.” Teyla smiled. “She is very good with sticks.”

“Ok. I’ll have a word with Woolsey when we get back.” He said as he took the t-shirt Rodney held out to him, then began to help his Mate into it. It still felt dusty and dry, but if Rodney didn’t want to Shift, it would have to do.

“Is that the gate?” Teyla asked, and sure enough, John could hear the sound of the Gate engaging in the distance, they were still about two miles out, but the vallies must make the sound travel.

“Oh no! Ronon, turn your radio on!” Amelia said hurriedly.

John pulled Rodney’s shirt down then reached for his own radio. They had turned them off when the ceremony had started, not wanting a repeat of last time when they were slightly over due and the locals had not been pleased. It took Teyla a lot of talking to get them back to negotiation. And Atlantis knew that if it was an emergency, then they could have sent a Jumper.

But soon as he turned his radio on, Woolsey was coming over the radio.

/”Colonel Sheppard come in… Colonel Shep…”/

“Here!” John barked into his radio, he didn’t like the slight urgency in the other man’s voice. And flashes of the last of the Wraith ships zeroing in on the city were making him uneasy.

/”Oh… We have been radioing in every half hour…”/ Woolsey said sounding a little relieved. /”How far out are you?”/ He asked quickly.

“Two miles… we can be home in about twenty minutes.” John answered and he bent to hurry Rodney back into his boots as his Mate bent to pick up his pack and put it on.

/”Do I need to send a Jumper?”/ Woolsey asked.

“No… not unless it’s a life and death thing?” He said, standing quickly, then taking Rodney’s hand he began to jog towards the gate. Knowing everyone else was right behind him. Woolsey was oddly quiet for too long. “Woolsey!” John barked, letting adrenalin flood his system.

/”Just hurry… Atlantis out.”/

John felt his whole body itch in frustration as he heard the gate shut down in the distance as he picked up his speed.

“Something… happened.” Rodney huffed at his side as their anxiety tangled together.

“He did not sound normal.” Teyla said as she came alongside. “Something has happened… but he is trying not to worry us.”

“I know.” John said as he just concentrated on his path to the gate, his pounding feet and Rodney. It was pointless guessing as to what happened.

--

Ten minuets later and he was pulling Rodney through the gate, “What’s going on!” he demanded as he saw Woolsey running down the stairs.

“This way.” Woolsey said tightly, instantly walking towards the infirmary. “There was an accident.” He was saying as John caught up. “An explosion to be exact.”

“The sewerage treatment!” Rodney growled, “I knew it!”

“No.” Woolsey replied quickly. “Lorne was overseeing restocking the armoury in this tower from the east pier… As far as we can tell, there must have been a faulty grenade… it took the whole box with it…”

“Lorne?” John asked, feeling sick.

“He’s fine, in fact all the marines are…”

“But…” John asked with a sinking feeling as Woolsey stopped them at the end of the infirmary corridor. He watched as Woolsey’s eyes flicked to Rodney.

“There was a science team in the east pier…” he said softly. “They were fixing an electrical fault in an adjacent corridor… There was minimal damage, but a medical team was sent, but when they got their there was a second explosion from the crystal tray the team had been working on…” he trailed off and John felt his stomach roll as he squeezed Rodney’s hand.

“Who’s injured?” Rodney asked in a small voice.

Woolsey took a deep breath. “Injured, Miko and Llewellyn along with Grey from medical, non serious… But Doctor Novelli, Lieutenant Goubeaux and… Doctor Phillips, all died on scene.”

“Julie?” Rodney gasped and John echoed his horror.

“No.” Woolsey said, through John thought he went a little paler. “Mike Phillips.”

“What about Julie?” Rodney asked on another level of concern. She was about to pop, so the stress wouldn’t be doing her any good.

“I’m sor…” Woolsey was saying but didn’t finish as Carson came into the corridor.

“There you are!” Carson yelled. “Get in here NOW!”

John gave Woolsey a confused glance before pulling Rodney towards their friend. “Doc?” he asked as Carson just turned and motioned them to follow.

“We don’t have time!” Carson was saying, and John realised the man was wearing scrubs. “John, get changed into those.” He said pointing at another set of scrubs on a bed that was near the operation room doors.

“Why?” John asked wearily now.

“Just do it. Marie, can you give him a hand.” He said to the nurse, she also looked very grim. “Then bring them in.” Carson ordered as he disappeared into the operation room.

“What’s going on?” he asked Maria as she held the scrubs out to him.

“Just hurry.” She said with a grim look on her face, “You’re gonna find out soon enough.”

“What about Rodney?” He asked as he pulled off his dusty t-shirt.

“He doesn’t need them according to Carson.” She sounded tired as she held out the pants, then reached for the blue bootees.

“Then maybe I shouldn’t…” Rodney whispered.

“Nope, you have to go in there… John’s your back up.” She said with a half smile.

“But I’m covered in dust.” Rodney protested. “Back up for what?”

“Get in here!” Came Carson’s voice. “Marie, her vitals are slipping!”

John blinked as Maria threw the bootees on to the floor, then she began pushing him toward the OR doors. “Just get in.” she said as she pushed him through dragging Rodney with him, who had grabbed onto his elbow.

He stopped when he looked at the bed as Maria shoved him aside a little so she could get to the other side.

“Carson?” John asked slowly as his chest went cold.

“Maria?” Carson asked, his back to John as Maria went around the other side.

“Showing signs of stress, we really do have to do it now.” Maria answered.

“But… Julie?” John heard Rodney whisper behind his shoulder.

John swallowed as he took Rodney’s hand in his own and squeezed.

What they could see of Julie Phillips wasn’t pretty. Her lower face was covered with a mask, the left side was covered in some of the medical green sheeting, but from under it, John could see charring and blood.

“Carson… please…” John uttered as he saw the doctor pick up a scalpel.

“Brain dead.” Carson said, though he was distracted by what he was doing around Julie’s abdomen. “We got there in time to get her on life support and keep blood and oxygen getting to her baby… but she’s gone…” Carson said thickly, before he was shaking himself. “John, remove Rodney’s shirt.”

“But…?” John asked as he seamed to go a little numb, only vaguely aware of Rodney’s grief and sadness.

“Just do it!” Carson snapped, but he never turned around. “You and Rodney are this little things only family now…” The doctor tailed off thickly, remaining silent for a moment. “Mike was dead on scene and neither had family on Earth… So get Rodney’s shirt off… I’m about to try something that might not work.”

John turned to his Mate and began tugging at his t-shirt, Rodney was just looking at him, his eyes wide with shock, and just a little bit of fear. It disappeared for a moment as he pulled the item of clothing off, then just pulled Rodney into his arms.

“What wont work?” John asked. Trying to keep Rodney’s emotions away from affecting his own.

“This bairn will be a Shifter, and with Rodney being a Shifter. I’m hoping I can kick start something in his physiology so he will bond with the child like any natural Shifter birth mother would with its newborn…”

Rodney squeaked a little and John held him tighter.

“…If this works, then you will both be parents.” Carson finished and John felt like the floor had just dropped away from under his feet.

“Parents…?” He asked, his voice sounding hollow to his own ears. “but we…” he tailed off.

Suddenly Carson spun around, his hands were bloody, but he looked caught between anger and shock. “You did want to be this bairn’s godparents?” he asked, his voice also giving away his mixed emotions. “If not…” he paused a little unsure. “I guess you can leave… we don’t have to do it this way, but I read it would be easier on Rodney and the bairn… I’m sorry, you can go.” He said as he turned around and carried on performing the caesarean section.

John still felt like the world had lost all sense… he was about to be a parent. But not only that, the parent of a child that was being all but ripped from it’s dead mother… He was only wondering about the logistics of getting a cat for Rodney the other day... and now they were being given a baby?... Sure the universe was never fair, but this was beyond cruel.

“John…?”

John pressed his cheek against Rodney’s as his Mate uttered his name, he sounded so small and lost John was almost tempted to just pull him from the room. But in the utterance of his name, John could feel all the other questions, the insecurities, the grief, then horror that he would never be ready. But there was something else there too, and John knew what they had to do. Because in their line of work, sometimes all you had was hope.

“We’ll stay.” John said loud enough for Carson to hear. “What do you need us to do?” He heard the doctor sigh in relief.

“Rodney… When I pull the bairn free, I’m going to hand it straight into your arms, so be prepared. I have to do this quick.” Carson said hurriedly. “John, I need you to step away and whatever you do, do not touch the bairn.”

John wasn’t happy about that, well not about touching the baby, but he wasn’t going to let Rodney face this alone without some physical contact. So he pulled Rodney away a little then held his face between his hands. “It’s gonna be okay.” He promised as he laid his lips against Rodney’s, then turned him towards the bed, keeping his hand firmly flat on the small of his Mates back.

“You’re there.” Maria said quickly.

“Rodney, you ready?” Carson asked.

“He’s ready.” John said as Rodney looked over his shoulder at him, and John gave him a smile and a nod. He could feel Rodney’s emotions swirling around them both, confusion, disbelief… fear. And he echoed them all. But there was no time to even process any of them. Because a few moment later, the room was filled with the cries of an unhappy baby and John felt his heart quicken as he was aware of a spike of apprehension in his Mate.

“Clamp it now.” Carson was saying over the sound of the baby as Maria was doing something John couldn’t see. Then Carson was turning and thrusting the small bloody, damp baby against Rodney’s chest.

John moved so he could see and watched Rodney raise his arms to hold the child as Carson let go quickly and backed off a step.

The baby instantly seemed to settle as its cries lessened and its little eyes opened and were looked up at Rodney. And as soon as their eyes met, John felt something from Rodney give, like the gentle popping of a balloon, then an overwhelming calm come over his Mate.

Without thinking he went to touch a tiny hand, but found himself growling when Carson knocked his hand away.

“Don’t.” Carson was glaring at him, still blocking him from touching the new life in Rodney’s arms. Then Carson was looking at Rodney. “Rodney… are you okay?” he asked softly.

“Hu?” Rodney asked distractedly. Then John had to take a step back and support his Mate who had just taken his own step back from Carson and straight into him. And then he heard Rodney growling as he looked at the doctor.

Carson held up his hands as he stepped away. “It’s okay.” Carson said reassuringly.

“It’s working?” Maria gasped a little excitedly, this only made Rodney tense up more and John could feel his Mates wariness of the other two people in the room.

“A little to well.” Carson answered her. “Rodney, we are going to get you into one of the single rooms, okay? A little privacy?”

Rodney shook his head and John moved as he stepped in front of his Mate, putting an arm around his waist so the baby was between them. He wasn’t sure what the hell was going on with his Shifted, but he knew Rodney wanted to be somewhere safe, familiar.

“Rodney?” John asked, ignoring Carson.

Rodney glanced up at him before looking back down. “Home.” Was all he said and John began pulling him towards the doors.

There were too many people still mulling around in the infirmary and Rodney was growling again, flinching at any noise.

“John?” Teyla asked as she came up to them.

“Stay back.” John told her, Rodney’s emotions to protect the child were fuelling all of John’s protective instincts and he willingly let them flood his system.

“Everyone clear the area!” Carson bellowed as he came out, he even waved Teyla away. “Give them room, I’ll explain everything later!”

With the distraction, John hurried Rodney toward the closest lift.

“You’re going the wrong way!” Carson called after them. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” John called back as he pushed Rodney inside.

“Wait, wait.”

John turned to push the doctor from the lift, but Carson was too quick as he pushed the screen and in a flash of light they were in the corridor outside their apartment.

“Leave.” John told him angrily as he pulled Rodney towards their door.

“Just a moment!” Carson demanded. “Try and get them both bathed! I’ll be back in about an hour with formula, we need to get the baby fed and you might need help with that!”

John knew Carson was right, but his rational mind was silent right now as he let Rodney’s own irrational feelings keep a hold of him. But he didn’t know what to say so he just pursed his lips together.

“And don’t touch the bairn!” Carson insisted as John took a step inside his own door with Rodney. “Don’t let him let you unless you ‘know’ he actually means you can, he must have no hesitation in letting you touch it.”

John tore his eyes away from the doctor to look at his Mate and the baby.

“I don’t want him to even think about rejecting it.” Carson said softly. “Play it safe, John… and I’ll be back soon. Call if ‘anything’ happens you don’t like.”

John just nodded as he entered their apartment letting the door close behind him as he locked it with a thought as he made his way to Rodney. Who just stool looking down at the baby.

John still couldn’t really feel anything from Rodney, but the overwhelming sense of calm.

“Hey.” He whispered softly as he slid an arm around Rodney’s waist, pulling their sides together as he looked down at the baby again, only just realising that the child was actually a girl. “It’s a girl…” He said stupidly as he lifted his free hand to hover next to her little face. The need to touch her was overwhelming. But he felt a spike of wariness from Rodney, which made him pause as Carson’s words wormed their way around his thoughts. “I… Rodney…” He whispered as he put his cheek next to his Mates, shamelessly letting his ‘need’ to connect with the baby wash into Rodney.

“Err…” Rodney uttered, as John felt his confusion and anxiety. “Slowly… you can touch her slowly.” Then Rodney pulled his Right arm from under the baby to place it on John’s right wrist, letting John know, if he didn’t like it, he would push John away.

John respected his Mates limits as he reached out his index finger and brushed it over the top of one small ear.

“Oh…” Rodney breathed out and John was almost floored with the overwhelming feeling of utter contentment, and of something he had no words for, but wasn’t totally unfamiliar with, like a memory that wasn’t a memory.

“Oh.” He echoes Rodney and his Mate was looking up at him. It was the first time he had moved his attention away from the child.

“This is it.” Rodney’s eyes were wide with wonder and disbelief. “Davos’s vision…” he uttered as he looked back down as he gave a weak chuckle. “All that worrying… And it was her all along.”

“Yeah.” John smiled as he ran his finger over their child’s ear again. Then he had a stab of cold realisation. “Our daughter.” He breathed as panic took his air. “Uff!” he let out as one of Rodney’s sharp elbow jabbed into his gut.

“Stop that!” Rodney ordered, then John felt him melt and go soft around the edges both physically and mentally. “And, yeah… Our daughter… Err… that should feel strange, shouldn’t it?” he asked ever so softly.

“Yeah.” John said. “I liked Julie… and I’m sure we should been feeling some grief…”

“Or guilt…” Rodney uttered.

John could feel neither emotions coming from Rodney, or himself. It was like all that mattered was the life Rodney held, and for the moment the world went away… ‘Had’ to go away. Nothing was allowed, for now, to encroach on this. And John felt an overwhelming sense of need come over him, a need to see that the world wasn’t allowed to interfere until the moment Rodney wanted it so. John had to protect his Mate and their child.

“Easy…” Rodney whispered and John realised he had been going tense as he tightened his hold around Rodney’s waist. “We need to get clean.” He was cooing down at the baby, but John knew his words were for him. “I’m still itchy, and the smell of… err… “

John found worried blue eyes looking into his and he understood without Rodney having to say anything. The baby was a bit of a gory mess, and he knew the smell was finally penetrating his Mates sences. So without saying anything he pulled Rodney to their bathroom

++++++++++

Rodney wasn’t really sure if what they were doing was the right thing or not. It wasn’t like he had the first clue.

In hindsight from the vision he should have researched what to do with a baby before now. But who wanted to think about stuff like that and he figured he would have had nine months to figure it out, or at least a little more warning.

He had shared John’s unspoken fear that it might be Jeannie’s baby for a short while. But they came across orphans more than they wanted too and thought eventually it might be one of them from some world here in the Pegasus galaxy.

It had actually never crossed his mind that it might actually be Julie’s, the universe was cruel, and it had kicked the Phillip’s family in the teeth today. But still Rodney couldn’t sum up the grief or guilt he knew he should have as he looked down at the life in his arms.

He had almost been sick as John pulled him into the operating room. The smell of burned flesh and blood was overwhelming. Sure, it wasn’t an unfamiliar smell, but it was normally accompanied by high levels of adrenalin, panic, and a good mix of fear and a sharp focus to save everyone and worry about the bad stuff later.

He hadn’t had any of that as it had dawned on him what was actually happening.

Then Carson was thrusting a little bloody body into his arms, and as soon as baby blue eyes had looked up at him, something in his being instantly reached out to her.

He knew instantly that she was a Shifter.

Just like he knew any Shifter he came in contact with. But unlike any Shifter he had met before. This little thing was pulling at him to protect her, to keep her safe. It was almost on the same level that he felt towards John mixed with the way he thought about Jeannie.

Now, though, he rested his back against John as he held their daughter in his arms as they all rested in the huge bathtub, all of them now clean and contented. That he finally realised she felt like family.

It had barley been two hour since her birth, and already she was a huge part of his world.

“You’re hungry.” John uttered from where he was resting a chin on Rodney’s shoulder.

“Not me…” Rodney answered.

“Hu…” John huffed and Rodney felt his confusion.

“It’s her.” Rodney smiled as she began to wiggle a little, but she still hadn’t done anything but let out small whimpers. Even after being bathed she hadn’t put up any protest. Which Rodney thought was a little odd, from experience with Jeannie as a baby and others, all they did around him mostly was cry, or like Torren, they never settled for long.

“Really?” John asked and Rodney felt his surprise.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m not hungry, I can never feel it in you… so it has to be her.” He watched John lift a finger and run it over a tiny ear. Which seemed to be all the contact he would allow himself; which Rodney was quite happy with.

“I never thought…” John trailed off in awe.

“Well, if it’s any help. It’s not like I knew it was gonna be like this either.” Rodney said softly. “It’s not like I paid any attention in ‘family planning’ class back at the Dorms.”

John chuckled. “Really?”

Rodney sighed as he cast a sideways glance at his Mate. “Well, it’s not like I was ever planning on being Bonded.” He snipped a little. “And if I was, then the likelihood of my Mate giving birth to a Shifter would have been astronomically slim, and my Mate would more than likely be a woman, I just figured she would look after them… so I just worked on my other studies in that class.”

“I’m so lucky.” John deadpanned and Rodney winced as John ground his chin into his shoulder a little.

“Stubble burn!” Rodney squeaked, pushing his head against John’s to try and dislodge John’s chin. But John just laughed as he pushed back. Then they both stilled when the baby whimpered a little and Rodney turned all his attention back to her.

“Maybe we should get out and see what Carson left?” John offered.

“Not yet.” Rodney said as a stab of anxiety went through him. He trusted almost every one on Atlantis… but the thought of taking the baby anywhere near anyone right now made him feel terrible. “err… do you think Julie and Mike ever thought of giving her a name?” he asked, feeling a whole other bought of anxiety, then he looked at his Mate. “And whose last name should she have?” Though, in his soul he knew there was only one now.

John shrugged against his back. “Phillips Sheppard.” He said instantly and Rodney smiled a little in relief as he nodded.

“I guess adding McKay would be a little too much.” He agreed.

“I don’t think she would thank us for having PMS in her initials when she’s older.” John grinned.

They shared a moment of silence before Rodney’s mind decided to throw up new problems for them. “We don’t have anything.” He gasped.

“Any what?” John asked.

“We don’t have baby stuff.” he clarified. “We don’t even have diapers or baby clothes. A crib. Baby stuff!... I guess we can ask Teyla, and there should be stuff we can cobble together, but there isn’t a supply gate for another two weeks and we haven’t put an order in!”

“Rodney… Calm down.” John said as Rodney felt himself being hugged a little closer. “I don’t think we have to worry.”

“But.” Rodney tried to protest, he felt John’s slight unease, but total assurance.

“Teyla said Julie had everything the baby needed, she told me about a baby shower or something… I’m sure Carson will have everything from Julie and Mike’s apartment brought over for us. Whatever isn’t in their stuff… we can order later.”

“Oh…” Rodney relaxed as he played with one of the Baby’s hands. Then he remembered his initial question. “Still… what name shell we give her?”

John shrugged again and Rodney felt his sigh. “I really don’t know… Maybe we should call her Julie?”

Rodney felt John’s unease as he instantly shook his own head. “I’m not naming her after her mother… I don’t want her growing up in her mothers shadow… but maybe it could be her second name?... Umm… won’t the paper we signed about being her godparents have had a name?” He hadn’t really read them.

“It was to be filled in later.” John clarified. “I’ll get Carson to ask around, maybe they told someone else?”

Rodney shared John’s slight guilt that they hadn’t known, but they had been so busy when they got back to the Pegasus galaxy that they hadn’t found the time to talk anything but shop, and when they had shared a few breakfasts or lunches together, it had covered a lot of topics, but never names.

“It’s gonna be okay.” John whispered against his cheek, “She doesn’t need a name right now… we can just give her a pet name?”

Rodney nodded, he guessed that was the best idea. “So what?... Sunshine?” he winced. “Pumpkin?... stinky?” he grinned, feeling John pull a face. “Well you think of something then.” He grumbled.

John was quiet so long Rodney thought he wasn’t going to answer. “Kitty.” He finally said softly and the baby moved against Rodney, her little eyes blinking up at them. Rodney knew she couldn’t really see properly yet, but he would have sworn up and down she was looking right at them.

“I think she approves.” John grinned as Rodney watched him touch her ear again.

Rodney was just about to settle back against John again when Kitty’s face scrunched up a bit and he felt the water around his belly get a little warmer. His brain stilled for a moment in horror.

“Did she just…?” John asked as Kitty began to whimper, she was still hungry.

“She did.” Rodney sighed, as he moved forwards so John could get out of the tub first. “Get out then help me up.” He told his Mate, surprised he wasn’t actually freaking out more, it wasn’t everyday you got peed on.

John did as he was told and Rodney gave him a chased kiss when he leaned down to help him up, but never offered to take Kitty from him.

“What was that for?” John chuckled as he hoysted Rodney to his feet, then held him as he got out of the tub, making sure he didn’t slip.

“Cos you’re such a sap.” Rodney grinned as he pecked John’s lips again.

“I like to call it ‘Manly’ and ‘Romantic’.” John offered back as he reached for towels.

“Do those words even belong in the same context?” Rodney asked as John pushed him to sit on the bathroom stool they had bought when they were on Earth.

“They do where you are concerned.” John grinned. “Now, you wrap this around Kitty while I dry you.” He said, offering Rodney a fluffy towel.

++++++++++

Teyla had no hesitation when Carson had asked her to go with him to the Phillips apartment. When she had learned what had tragically happened she had felt a jolt of grief and then empathy as she remember on how she had almost lost Torren. But her relief to find the baby had survived and was now with Rodney had been a relief.

So she had help Carson find all the urgent baby supplies that the infant would need immediately, and that they could carry.

She had asked if Ronon and Amelia could help, but Carson had shook his head, explaining to her, than even his own presence would not be appreciated right now, and that he was only bringing Teyla because she was a mother and they trusted her, so could answer any questions the couple might have.

Now they stood outside John and Rodney’s door.

They had put their supply of bottles, sterilisers, formula and what Carson called a ‘nappy bag’ filled with cleaning supplies and diapers, all down in front of the door, then backed off to the wall opposite to wait.

Carson had knocked on the door lightly before backing off.

Then they waited.

“Should we not use the door-bell?” Teyla asked after they had already waited ten minuets.

Carson was shaking his head, “No, lass. We will have to wait till they come to us.”

Teyla frowned; she wasn’t sure on Earth customs when a baby was born, but as far as she knew they were not much dissimilar to her own. The mother would be left to recover with the child, then everyone would come and pay their respects to the new life quite soon after. Also, Keller had been insistent that she check Torren over medically when they had been rescued. So she was a little surprised that Carson wasn’t making sure the new baby was alright, especially at the horrific circumstances of its birth. “Maybe the child is not doing well?” She watched as Carson shifted from foot to foot nervously.

“If she isn’t…” Carson answered a little agitatedly. “There aint nothing I can do right now… Rodney has to Bond with the bairn… mental health for them both is better than physical health right now… From what I could find out, Shifter can be incredibly finicky when it comes to bairns, especially their own. But if this works, then Rodney will be one of the few documented cases where a Shifter has Bonded with a newborn baby Shifter that wasn’t their own.”

She blinked at him, “But I thought Bonding was only for mated couples?” She felt a little horrified.

Carson gave her a slight smile and a shrug. “I recon that Bonding is more to establish a mental and physical link between two people, so when applied to one of their children, it’s so they see them as family, pack or pride or whatever goes through a Shifter psycy…” he gave another shrug as he moved his attention back to the door. “So right now, Rodney is forming a Bond with the bairn so that he will see her as family and protect her like he does John.”

Teyla followed Carson’s gaze to the door. It sounded reasonable enough.

“Also…” Carson carried on wistfully. “There is a theory that a Shifter has to form such a crucial Bond with its offspring so that it ‘will’ protect their child as well as their Mate. I read a disturbing paper where the Shifter’s weren’t able to instantly start Bonding with their child, who would have to have instant medical treatment, or someone didn’t let them hold the baby immediately or took it away too soon. Then the Shifter mother would reject the child, and want nothing more to do with it. There have been documented cases where the mother actually killed their child.”

Teyla grimaced, there was no way she could ever think of harming her son, never mind killing him. But She had seen it happen in the wild. “Then it would seen Shifters really do have more to do with their animal side that I was lead to believe.” She whispered.

“On certain matters.” Carson nodded with a sigh. “But from what I observed, and I’m far from an expert. I think that little girl is going to do just fine with her two dads.”

Teyla smiled a little. “Rodney always says he hates children… But they are drawn to him.”

Carson chuckled. “Kids are like Dogs and cats. They always go straight for the person that is allergic to them. The more they protest, the more they are drawn.” He slapped his hands together for emphasis.

“Is that so?” She asked with a smile.

Carson nodded emphatically. “Every time, animals just seem to know, like kids.”

Teyla wasn’t really sure what Carson meant, so she changed the subject a bit. “Well, I know Rodney actually likes being around Torren. And I noticed that he was always passing candy to his family’s children whenever their parents weren’t looking. And I was sure he let Madison actually take a sip of alcohol. Something I was made aware that your culture does not accept for someone so young?”

She was surprised when Carson actually snorted. “That is the US, lass. In my home land and most of Europe it’s not such a big thing when it’s supervised… I just hope that Rodney shows a little bit more restraint when it comes to his own kid.”

Their talk finally lapsed into what other baby supplies were in the Phillips apartment, and how they could get it set up. Then to what else they might need to get for the sudden parents.

Teyla had no idea how long they had been talking quietly when the door in front of them slid open.

“John.” She smiled taking a step forward, but the line of warning in the Colonels shoulders made her stop.

“We brought supplies.” Carson was saying from his place by the wall, not moving. “And I was wondering if I could just take a quick peek at the little girl, make sure she’s still doing okay.”

She watched as John glared at the Doctor, then, with one hand on the door frame, blocking their way into the apartment, he called out to Rodney. “Can you do that?”

“Teyla there?” She heard Rodney’s voice from deep inside the room.

“Yup.” John answered turning to look at her. But She was facing the Colonel, and he wasn’t the friendly side of the man. Which she could actually understand with more clarity now.

“Err… yeah… she can come in too.” Rodney’s voice sounded unsure so she looked at Carson who was already wearing a frown.

“We can wait a little longer.” Carson called into the apartment.

Teyla watched as John pulled a face. “They are both hungry… and err.” John said, looking a little awkward.

“You have no idea how to feed an infant?” Carson chuckled.

“Just get in here!” Rodney yelled and was followed by the whimpering cry of a very young baby. Teyla took an instinctive step forward and was a little grateful when John lowered his arm to let her in.

She spied Rodney pacing up and down by the window, rocking a bundle of towels in his arms. When she got close, he instantly moved his shoulder to block her view.

“Sorry.” Rodney uttered, but he didn’t move.

Quickly she took a step back, holding up her hands. “I’m sorry.” She said, giving him a smile. “Carson told me you would not want me touching the baby.” Though she had to admit she was itching to look at it.

“She’s hungry.” Was Rodney’s reply, and he sounded like he was overwhelmed, which for her friend, was unusual to witness.

“I know.” She smiled. “We have brought everything she will need, even formula.” She looked over her shoulder to see Carson handing things to John in the doorway. It would be a while yet before they got anything ready in the small area that served as the apartment’s kitchenette. “Would you not be more comfortable sitting down while we wait?” She gestured to the sofa.

Rodney finally gave a little nod as they went and sat down on one of their new leather sofas, which she was already planning on making woollen covers for, more so now there would be a baby on them too. When she sat, she made sure she sat as far away as she could. She was a little surprised when Rodney gave her an apologetic look, then he turned his attention back to the bundle of towels and moving a little he gently pulled back a corner of white towelling.

She couldn’t help but let out a little gasp as she saw the little baby, who’s face was all scrunched up a little. Teyla had to put her finger to her lips to keep from reaching out instinctively and brushing the precious little things cheek. “Oh, she is beautiful.” She whispered, then smiled as Rodney puff up with pride, all his attention once again on the child in his arms.

Teyla knew she wasn’t going to get much out of the scientist, so she leaned back against the arm of the sofa and waited for the others to get the milk ready.

Luckily it didn’t take that long.

She had watched as Carson got everything ready, then walked John through the steps of preparing formula and how much and what temperature to set it all at. She couldn’t help but smile at the serious look on John’s face as he studied everything. Then finally he was bringing a half filled bottle over to the sofa, where he sat down on the arm, his side pushing up against Rodney, who instinctively moved to shield the baby.

Teyla tried not to laugh out loud as she watched John’s eyebrows draw together, then he was looking at her. “So… what now?”

She shuffled a little closer. Not missing John’s protective arm that went around Rodney’s shoulders as the Shifter moved against the Colonel in turn. “Well, when I put Torren on to the bottle, I was instructed to squeeze a little formula out of the tip, then hold it against her lips. From there, nature should take over.” She smiled reassuringly, but she had to shove her hands between her legs, she couldn’t even lay a reassuring hand on her friends shoulder right now.

John fumbled a little with the bottle, looking awkward as he squeezed the rubber teat a little till some liquid emerged, then he held it out for Rodney, who took it and began sniffing it, then his tongue popped out liked the end of the teat.

“Rodney!” John gasped, but instantly shut up and sat up a little straighter when Teyla heard a rumble coming from Rodney, and it wasn’t a comforting sound. “Fine… do you want me to get a bit more out?” John asked and was rewarded with the same warning rumble.

Teyla watched as Rodney seemed to fidget a little. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see Carson cocking his head towards the little kitchenette and she slowly got to her feet, the doctors hand making sure she moved away from Rodney.

“We’ll just be over by the kitchen.” Carson was saying softly as they both backed away. “We’ll just sort the supplies we brought. Then once the little ones feeding we’ll leave you to it.”

Teyla kept her attention on Rodney as Carson lead her back, she watched Rodney gently place the rubber teat against the babies lips. From what she could hear, the baby didn’t sound all that happy about what was happening. But it was John who was looking more agitated than Rodney, who just seemed to be waiting.

After about ten minutes she couldn’t help but voicing her concern in a whisper to the doctor when the baby was making more distressed little noises. “Is there anything you can help with?” she said. Torren had fussed at first, but he had taken to it quicker than this… but then she guessed when she had first put him to her breast, she had been almost besides herself thinking Michael have robbed her of this one facet of motherhood.

“You can go if you have other plans.” Carson said kindly. “I think this might take some time.”

She gave him a nod, but she was staying, especially when her friends needed her. “Are you sure there is nothing wrong? You haven’t examined the child as you planed?” she whispered, knowing John wouldn’t hear her, but Rodney might and she really didn’t want to worry him.

Carson gave her another smile as he shrugged his shoulders. “I won’t get to examine her anytime soon… and I’ll give it another twelve, if not twenty four hours before I really have to intervene…” He rubbed a tired hand over his eyes as she watched him sag a little against the counter behind them.

“Maybe you should go then.” She offered as she reached out and put a hand on his arm. “You look exhausted.” She also know that he had been close with the Phillips’s, they had never known his ‘real’ self, as Carson sometimes referred to his past self, so they had never felt awkward around him, as she knew some people still didn’t trust him as they once had.

He gave her a nod and a smile. “Ay, I think I will.” He pushed himself to standing fully, but his smile soon faded. “I still have to write up my reports and do the death certificates…”

Teyla didn’t hesitate as she put her arms around him and gave him a tight hug.

“Thanks, lass.” Carson said a little thickly as he pulled away, then nodded towards their other two friends. “Don’t stay too long.” He rubbed his hands up and down her arms, then turned and left. She had politely ignored the tears in his eyes.

As the door closed she turned back to the other two men, just intime to see Rodney tugging on John’s arm, pulling the Colonel up and forcing him to sit where she had been earlier, at the other end of the sofa. She hid a smile at the confused look on John’s face as Rodney shoved him around silently with one arm. The other still holding the baby and the bottle.

Once Rodney seemed to have John just the way he wanted him, he shuffled to the middle of the sofa then turned his back to John and laid back, hard, making John huff as he brought his arms up to steady Rodney. There was more shuffling and grunts of effort till Rodney seemed satisfied.

Teyla had to move a little so she could see the baby again. But as she watched Rodney was pulling the baby, and her makeshift blanket, up so the side of her little head was resting against his chest, under his chine. She could hear Rodney begin to purr loudly from across the room. Then he lifted the bottle to his own mouth and at first she thought he was sucking on it before she realised he was chewing on the teat.

“Rodney, what the…” John actually tried to reach up and stop what Rodney was doing, but the warning growl was loud, and as soon as John’s hand went back to holding him, Rodney’s purr started again.

It didn’t take long before the Shifter seemed satisfied and he presented the teat to the baby again, and this time she seemed less grumpy to open her mouth.

“Was too cold.” She heard Rodney grumble out as he carried on purring.

With a smile of her own, Teyla knew that just maybe her friends and their new family were going to be all right.

++++++++++++

John blinked the stinging tears from his eyes as he tried hard NOT to breath through his nose… he was also trying hard not to breath through his mouth too.

He had smelled death and decay in all it’s many ugly and retched forms… but nothing, absolutely ‘nothing’ had prepared him for what Kitty had left in her towel.

Rodney was still on his knees at the side of the bed, quietly gagging as he held the edge of their sheets to his nose trying to block out the smell. His other hand was still wrapped possessively around Kitty’s arm. John was sure if he could have run away, he would have.

“Well.” John wheezed as he finally managed to get a diaper on his daughter. The first one was on the floor next to the towel she had been wrapped in. He could take a gun apart and put it back together in seconds. The instruction on a diaper bag was almost the end of him. “At least we now know what the ‘Bog of Eternal Stench’ smells like.” He tried to joke.

Rodney glared at him over his impromptu air filter, then there was a twinkle of amusement in those blue eyes and he felt it skitter across their Bond, with images of beaming barrels of baby poo onto Wraith ships like a bio weapon.

He couldn’t help but let out a laugh and wished to god he hadn’t as his eyes finally watered. Then he got to his feet and bundled the towel up in the plastic bag the diapers came in, of which the diapers were now all around them on the floor, then he was striding into the living room where he opened the doors to the balcony, tossed the bag in the far corner then left the doors open in the crisp night air, trying to get the stench out quicker.

“What else did they bring over?” Rodney was asking as he passed John on his way to the kitchenette where everything was still sitting.

Rodney seemed more himself when Kitty had finally eaten something, and actually started using words rather then using their Bond to communicate his moods. So once Kitty had fallen asleep. John had man handled his Mate up and got them both in bed. Rodney had fussed about rolling on the baby, but John had just wrapped his arms around his Mate and held on tight till they were all asleep.

They had then been woken up by Kitty making her displeasure known by squalling louder than she had done so far, but it had been the smell that had truly done both men in. As soon as Rodney had opened the towel he had started gagging.

As John rolled away to get off the other side of the bed, he was aware of Rodney wanting to flee, and the conflicting emotions from his Mate because he couldn’t leave Kitty, but she was the cause of his distress.

As John got around the bed, Rodney was on his knees, one hand holding tight to Kitty’s smaller one as he dry heaved.

John had let his own panic take over as he dashed into the other room, remembering that Carson had shown him a pack of diapers.

And now, as he made his way over to his other half, he realised that with Rodney’s sensitive Shifter nose. He got the sinking feeling he was going to be changing a lot of diapers in the future.

“Oh my god, yes!” Rodney replied without turning around.

“Cant wait…” John growled as he wrapped his hands around Rodney’s waist, pressing himself against his Mates back. “What are you looking for?” he asked, making sure he didn’t accidently touch Kitty. He had felt Rodney tense as he got close. Thought he guessed Rodney felt perfectly fine letting him wipe up crap, literally.

“Do we have clothes?... err… baby grows?, or something?... I just remember Torren in blankets when he was this tiny.” Rodney said as he leaned down and began rummaging in a box with one hand. “But they have clothes right?”

John guessed his husband had a point so they started looking, and it wasn’t long before they found a few white baby all-in-ones along with a soft fluffy blue, and a lemon coloured blanket.

“So…” Rodney drawled slowly as he looked at the baby grow John held up. “Are there any instruction as to how to get it on?”

“Don’t think so…” John answered, pulling a face because he had twitched, about to look in the box it came from. It didn’t help when Rodney huffed out a laugh.

“Made ya look!” Rodney grinned at the old joke where Rodney would tell him to fast forward through the adds on the TV when they were Earth side and he would reach for the remote-control only to realise it was live TV and Rodney found it very funny.

“Well I doubt your gonna let me help. So you’re just gonna have to figure it out yourself.” John shot back before he felt the slither of guilt that was wrapped up in helplessness coming through the Bond… “Oh… hey, hey!” He quickly said as he moved to sit besides his Mate and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He got it that Rodney’s tolerance of him touching Kitty had been eaten up for the time being by changing her diaper. “I’m sure this is some kind of Shifter thing, so you don’t have to feel guilty…”

“But Teyla was letting people pick up Torren all the time.” Rodney replied sullenly as his talented fingers began trying to figure out how the baby-grow worked.

“And she hovered over everyone that did for the first couple of months.” John replied as he watched what Rodney was doing as he laid Kitty down on his lap, her head towards his knees. “Carson said I shouldn’t touch her unless you really wanted me too… So it must be a Shifter thing, and being so, it’s natural and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. It’s gonna pass.” He repeated himself. “Also Carson was saying you were Bonding with her.” He frowned as Rodney looked at him in horror. “Not like we did.” He rolled his eyes. He guessed he had to the same look when the Doctor was explaining it to him as they made up Kitty’s first bottle. “Like on a parental level… think he said something about being for discipline.” He pointed to the back of his neck. “Like a normal cat scruffs it’s kittens.” He shrugged slightly. "And you need to bond like this so your instincts will protect her like you do me."

Rodney was quiet for a moment and he seemed to still, something John never liked. Especially when the Bond was also so still.

“But I’m not her mother…” Rodney whispered.

John felt like he had been kicked and he wasn’t sure who was feeling it, but it didn’t matter. He could feel Rodney pulling away from something as Kitty started to fuss, then she was crying louder than she had so far, her little face going bright red.

John sank his teeth into Rodney’s shoulder, and bit down hard. Unable to shake or slap the back of his Mate’s head as he tried to stop him from being a moron. He’d realised that his Mate was pulling away from Kitty mentally and emotionally, like he was rejecting the Bond the two Shifters had created as soon as Kitty was put into Rodney’s arms.

“Ouch!” Rodney gasped as his anger and pain bombarded John through their own Bond. “What the hell!? That hurt!”

“Good!” John growled furiously. “What the hell were you doing!?” he demanded, but didn’t wait for a response. “You are her… Mother... now!” he snapped, only hesitating over the gender roll for a moment. But there was still doubt in Rodney’s eyes. “The only Mother she’s ever going to know. So don’t you ever think of breaking that Bond with her.” He looked down at Kitty then, she was still crying, but it wasn’t as terror stricken now, if that were possible from a new born. “You were hurting her when you started to reject her!”

Rodney didn’t say anything as he turned his attention back to the little baby in his lap, then he was gathering her up and pressing her against his chest as Kitty seemed to settle some more.

John sighed as he picked up the fluffy blanket and laid it over her and securing it over Rodney’s shoulders, then pulled his Mate against his side, laying a kiss against Rodney’s temple as they he let his Mate concentrated on their daughter as he protected them both… even from themselves if need be… he would have to ask Teyla about baby clothes though… there must be something simpler!

++++++++++++

Rodney just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep.

From all that he had done in his life, the numerous days and nights spent awake on brilliant ideas, solving unending problems or saving everyone and everything from impending death and destruction…

Three days with a baby and he was a complete wreck.

Despite not getting much sleep, because every move, whimper or snore from Kitty and he was wide awake and looking to either feed her, get John to change her or wondering what had woken her. And if it wasn’t Kitty, then he was woken at ‘any’ little noise.

After Teyla had left three day’s ago. He couldn’t even stand people in the corridor outside the apartment. And he couldn’t have been more relived there was no one living or working above or below them, and no one lived to either side.

Carson had come over every morning, and Rodney told John to tell him to ‘piss off’ every time, and John being the over protective bastard he truly was, chased everyone away, picking up on Rodney’s own anxiety and running with it.

But at least Carson didn’t seem too offended by their refusal to let him in, or see Kitty. He just came, then left them with food and more stuff for her.

Which proved another problem, after the shock had warn off, Rodney then had to wash everything. At first he had tried doing it individually with their own soap, detergent and cleaners. But he had given up and just started throwing everything into the bath he had filled with almost scalding water.

John had helped, just smirking at him knowingly. Rodney had just rolled his eyes, but now he understood a little better why John was so obsessed with dressing him in something he had already warn, and making sure they always used the same soap.

He needed Kitty only in things that were familiar and smelled of them.

The sterile smell of the diapers was something he would have to get used too, and the talc made him sneeze uncontrollable and irritated his eyes. Which was another reason why John had to change diapers as Rodney held Kitty’s little hand and moved as far away as he physically could.

“Come on.” John said softly as he came into the bedroom. He looked only a little less strung out than Rodney felt.

“Cant we just stay here?” He whined as he tucked Kitty’s blanked tighter around her shoulders. “We’ll just take a nap.” He yawned loudly, just to prove how tired he was, not like John couldn’t feel it. But John was being stubborn.

John snorted. “We both know that’s not going to happen… I made sure Woolsey cleared the way to his office, from there we can stand on the walkway and watch the memorial services.”

Rodney pulled a face. “You know how much I hate them.” He said softly, then felt John laying a hand on his head.

“I know.” His Mate uttered with a lot of understanding. “But it’s not just for Novelli and Goubeaux…”

Rodney closed his eyes tight. Knowing why John didn’t want to continue. It was also the memorial for Julie and Mike Phillips. Neither of them wanted to go there or utter their names allowed. It was like old stories, where names had power, and theirs had the strength to shatter the little world Rodney was holding and John was protecting.

It was bad enough he found something that smelled very strongly of Julie, and he had fought the urge to throw it away and instead buried those thing in plastic bags and stuffed then in boxes that ended up on the balcony. There had been a very old and much lover teddy bare in the stuff Carson had left. But Rodney knew that it wasn’t for Kitty and must have been Julie’s childhood toy, the bear had seen much love in its time. That was one thing that he had sealed away quickly before he had time to think, then he had marched into the spare room, that John was quickly making into a nursery, and opening the bottom drawer of the dresser, he stuffed the toy into the very back… knowing one day Kitty would find it… and maybe he’d be in a better place emotionally to explain what it meant to her and hopefully who it smelled of.

“Come on.” John said as his hand moved down his cheek to his shoulder then down his arm to his wrist. “Want me to?” he asked.

Rodney looked up and smiled, for a moment, the thought of letting John truly let him be numb through the next hour or so was a pleasing thought, then the anxiety that came with it because he needed his attention on Kitty. So he shook his head but smiled at his Mate as he let John pull him to his feet. “You’ll know if I need it.”

Then John was pulling him slowly towards the door.

++++++++++++

John kept his arm around his Mate as he watched the ceremonies going on below. Dr Novelli’s had been first and now they were coming to the end of Lt Goubeaux’s.

It was strange, John didn’t actually feel a huge dose of guilt along with his sorrow at the loss of two good people.

Rodney, though, wasn’t paying any attention, he was on edge, but otherwise his attention was on Kitty. The only time it wavered was if someone moved suddenly below them. But those were mostly just curious looks, which he couldn’t blame people for, even if it was annoying. At least no one was trying to come their way. But Lorne was seeing to that. John had seen him over by the stairs to the control platform, Only Chuck was actually in the room to open the gate, but he was staying over Lorne’s side and far enough away.

So he let the ceremonies wash over him before the part he was dreading stated.

Two airman carried in a large framed photo and placed it next to the two already by the gate. It was a photo of Julie and Mike, probably taken on their wedding day, as they looked happily out from a captured moment in time when they were both so happy.

John swallowed hard as he thought about them never being able to look down on their own daughter with such happiness. For god sake, nether of them had even seen her with their own eyes! And he couldn’t help but look down at the child in Rodney’s arms, the child he already though of, selfishly, as their own. He couldn’t help but reach out and put his hand on top of his daughters. He stiffened a little when he heard a distressed whine coming from his Mate, but he couldn’t let go. He had to feel her, keep making sure she was actually real. It took him a moment to realise that Rodney wasn’t growling at him angrily, as he had once of twice, but he was upset as a wash of grief suddenly swept through to him from the Shifter.

He looked up into watery blue eyes, and he knew he had to suppress his own guilty feelings to reassure his Mate.

“I feel she’s mine.” Rodney said in a small whisper. “But I… did we?” he left the rest unsaid as he looked down into the Gate room, as people said their little peaces of remembrance. “Their dead… and I… I…”

“Shhh.” John said as he reached up with his other hand and pulled Rodney’s head closer to his own. His feeling of guilt and remorse war’ed with his contentment too. He wasn’t happy that Julie was dead, but he couldn’t mourn her too deeply, she had given them what they though they could never have. “We just have to make sure that Kitty grows up to make all her parents proud.” He uttered into Rodney’s hair.

It was the right thing to say, but also the wrong thing as suddenly Rodney broke down into floods of tears. So much so it actually took John back a little bit as his Mate began to sob loud enough that the service suddenly went very quiet as all eye turned to Stair up at them.

Then Kitty started crying too.

John just held onto both of the Shifter’s as they seemed to try and out do each other in volume. He knew that Kitty was just feeding off Rodney’s sorrow and that she wasn’t hungry or needed a change.

“Sorry.” He said loudly to everyone still looking at them, there were even a few sad smiles. But John just nodded as he pulled the two most precious things to him into Woolsey office and shut the door behind them as he collapsed into a chair, pulling Rodney down into his lap.

--

“Finished?” John asked softly forty minutes later.

Kitty had cried herself asleep, and Rodney had been drooling on John’s shoulder for at least five minutes. He also knew the services were over, and work was proceeding as normal when Woolsey caught his attention from the door, and at John’s nod, the other man had just given him a thumps up then gone back to the control room.

“Mugg…?” Rodney asked as he lifted his head and blinked. “Whu…?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think you wanted to go to sleep like this.” John smiled at the confusion on Rodney’s face as he looked at him blearily. “Also, my ass is getting very numb, and Kitty is about to wake up wet.” He grimaced, he could feel the heat of it through the diaper and blanket she was wrapped in that rested against his chest.

Rodney looked at their daughter, blinked again, then looked at John, his eyes slightly wide.

“That too.” John grinned. When Rodney had made himself more comfortable, he had snuggled Kitty against John’s chest, so her little head was beneath his chin, then Rodney had placed his arm over her, sandwiching her between his arm and John’s chest.

Apart from changing her, it was the closest Rodney had let him get to her. And he had loved every second, but really, his ass had gone so numb it was past painful.

“hu…” Rodney replied. Then he settled himself back down again. John could feel how sleepy his Mate was, but he couldn’t let him sleep. Not here, not where everyone could see. And especially not when his possessive, protective side was still responding to Rodney’s need to be isolated from others for a little longer.

“Oy.” He said as he lifter his shoulder, jostling Rodney’s head. “Wake up.”

“No.” Rodney moaned, then he was burying his face in John’s shoulder as waves of grief and sadness once again washed into John.

“What is it?” He demanded. Rodney’s mind was too much of a mess for him to glean anything from.

“I’m… I can’t go off world anymore” He heard Rodney mumble into his shirt and he sighed, so they were going to have this talk now. He had been expecting it, but hadn’t wanted to broach the subject, because really, he didn’t know where he stood in it, emotionally or practically. “One of us will have to stay in the city… and… and it should be me… but even that’s not safe!”

John rested his forehead against the top of Rodney’s head as he moved his hand that had been on his Mate’s back up to the back of his neck, where he rubbed lightly, not wanting to make his Mate loose his train of thought, just enough to calm him. “I know. We’ll have some maternity, err, paternal?... anyhow, we have some leave to sort everything out. We can put off all the big stuff till later.”

Rodney shook his head, then beautiful blue eyes were staring right into his as he felt Rodney also open up their Bond fully. “I cant.” He whispered and John could feel the connection he had with Kitty. It was a lot like their own Bond before that Ancient had missed about with Rodney’s DNA. Meaning there was a limitation on how far Rodney could be from Kitty. Though as John tentatively explored the line of connection, he could also see how the Bond wasn’t a permanent one, the only thing he could compare it with was dissolving stitches. The Bond would lesson with time, but right now it was intense and was almost on a par with their own connection. Then John gasped as a niggle of jealousy suddenly flared up and he felt Rodney laughing at him before he was shown another, weaker connection coming from Kitty towards himself.

“Oh…” He said aloud as he felt his chest tighten with affection as he accepted the tendril of a Bond from his little Shifter daughter. It wasn’t anything like Rodney’s connection with her, but it was enough to make him the proudest man alive right then.

“Muppet.” Rodney chuckled at him affectionately, then he was sighing again. “I’m actually gonna miss all that running and stuff.”

“What about sitting around in little sand storms for hours or getting covered in mud?” John asked as he felt Rodney’s disgust. “Or having to drink the local hooch that tastes like yak piss? Or getting shot at, or getting buried alive in lava? Or…”

“I get it!” Rodney growled as he started to get to his feet stiffly, John groaned as he felt it and was glad when Rodney gave him an apologetic pulse then let their Bond go back to the background noise it normal way. Then he was groaning as blood rushed back to his ass and legs. Without thinking he put his arms around Kitty, leaned forward then got up stiffly too.

He went very still as he looked up at his Mate, who was still stood about a foot away. “I have Kitty.” He whispered quietly, not quite believing it.

Rodney nodded, his eyes wide. “You do.”

“You okay?” Was John’s next question. Rodney’s wariness always had him on edge, but he wasn’t getting anything but mild surprise from Rodney now. Not the crushing anxiety he had been under for the past three days.

“Mmhm.” Rodney nodded, but then he was reaching out to lay a hand on their daughter.

Then John was grinning at his Mate. Who was quite happy to let John carry on holding their little girl. “One down.” He chuckled.

“And a whole city to go.” Rodney intones. Not happy about the thought.

John snorted a laugh out of his nose, then quickly leaned in and kissed Rodney on the lips. “Baby steps.” He chuckled.

++++++++++++

It had taken Rodney a month before he was happy with the team and Carson coming over to visit. He was also able to let Teyla or Amelia hold Kitty, he had even let Lilia hold her but almost threw a fit when Shanique tried to touch her. It was another two weeks before he could let Ronon touch her or for Carson to pick her up for her first examination.

He was getting better though, at least as Kitty reached two month he could actually walk around the city and not want to run back home the moment he saw anyone. And everyone was also being surprisingly understanding. No one had ever tried to touch Kitty, though it didn’t stop them asking. But when he said ‘not yet’ they nodded and they would thankfully back off. He guessed it was because Carson had let everyone know Kitty was genetically a Shifter, even though she hadn’t Shifted yet. And apparently wouldn’t Shift for a few months, or years. Rodney couldn’t remember the first time he Shifted and was sure not many of them did, not like he had ever asked. So, everyone was being nice and polite and it was grating on his nerves a bit, especially when he ventured into the labs and Kitty would start crying whenever he was yelling at someone’s incompetence. So he was learning how to quiet yell at his subordinates while not getting upset or angry.

Right now though he was frowning over some pattern he had found in all of Julie and Mike’s possessions.

Their apartment had been cleared out shortly after the funeral, and everything had been put in the empty apartment next door from John and him to sort out when they had time. Everything for Kitty had already been sorted and Rodney had found a little project that Julie had almost started, but never go around to finishing, so now he was endeavouring to do so as Kitty lay on the sofa at his side, clutching her teddy and chewing on it. It was a distraction to the crushing boredom that would threaten to hit whenever Kitty was quiet.

“Honey! I’m home!”

Rodney didn’t even look up as he finally figured on what he had to do next. “Early?” was all he asked. John was meant to be staying the night on the trade planet he had been called away too. He had also felt his Mate get back about half an hour ago.

“Yeah… Apparently they don’t want ‘just’ me.” John was saying as Rodney felt him sweep Kitty off the sofa and up into the air. “Hello muffin!” John greeted her, then he was jostling Rodney as he sat down close at his side. “Err… Rodney?”

“What?” He asked as he started counting, his fingers working hard not to mess up what he was concentrating on.

“Knitting?” John asked and Rodney rolled his eyes, knowing his Mate was just holding back his laughter that might turn into mockery, then Rodney would have to kill him. So he glared at him instead.

“Booties.” He said defiantly, daring John to say anything.

“Pink ones…?” John’s mouth cracked into a wide grin.

“She is a girl.” Rodney snapped. “Next time I’ll make her some combat green ones to go with the fatigues you want to dress her in!”

“Really?” John asked, actually being serious. “You can get those?”

Rodney sighed, then thought about it for a moment, it would be funny. “Get Jeannie to look into it.” He conceded.

John just pulled a face as he sat back to hug Kitty. “I’ll ask Dave, or Kaleb… I’m still traumatised by some of the pink frilly stuff Jeannie and Mary sent.”

“They really went all out.” He growled, most of it was still in boxes, and placed in the apartment next door. They had already planed on giving it to the next unfortunate to have a girl in the city, better yet, they could give it to someone off world so they would never have to see it again.

It was actually Daniel and Sam that had gotten together to send them some simple yellow and pastel pink practical things to keep them going until they got leave to go to earth in another two months. He already knew Jeannie and Mary were planning extravagant shopping sprees, and both he and John were already wondering how they could get out of it, but knowing it was going to be pointless.

“So, what went wrong?” He asked. But he really didn’t mind that his Mate was back early as he leaned a shoulder into John as he kept counting stitches in his head.

John blew out a breath. “Apparently Queen Harmony heard of our little bundle of joy from Lorne…” John said as he played with Kitty’s hands. “So she wants to see the ‘Tragic Orphan’ and to congratulate her ‘Hero’ personally for his ‘Gallent’ self sacrifice.”

Rodney put down the bootie he was knitting and slowly turned to look at his Mate. “Seriously?”

John looked at him with a straight face, “Oh, very.” He nodded once, though Rodney knew he was trying hard not to laugh. “She wish’s to bestow upon you her blessing and good fortune… And if she doesn’t see you, she will assume I’ve don’t something horrible to you and she will have to bring all her considerable power to crush Atlantis and me along with it… nothing personal.”

Rodney smirked. Woolsey had apologised when he had come to ask John to go on the mission. ‘Queen’ Harmony was growing more impatient, until she put her foot down and demanded to see ‘her’ Doctor McKay. On the pretence that she needed to see with her own eye’s Rodney was fine. But she refused an invitation to come to Atlantis to see for herself. No doubt the little brat through it was a conspiracy or something. Rodney had refused, but John had gone that morning in hopes it would appease her royal’ness.

“Do we really need their trade?” He asked.

“Yup.” John sighed for him. “Despite her being annoying, her and her people are still very loyal to Atlantis. And we still need their supplies.”

“Fine.” Rodney said, picking up his knitting again. “We’ll go tomorrow, in a jumper and stay five minutes then come home.”

John laughed. “I think Harmony might have other plans… I’m sure I saw someone with a box of banners.”

“Crap.”

++++++++++++

“And one day she will turn into a beast like you?”

Rodney tried not to get angry, he really did. Harmony might be growing into a fine young woman like her sisters. But she still had no idea on how to talk to people.

“Yeah.” He said, giving John a glance. His Mate wasn’t happy. But so far, Harmony hadnt tried to touch Kitty, just look at her curiously, before they were all whisked away to the throne room where a huge feast was being put out.

Rodney had been directed to sit next to Harmony her self, and was relieved that John was also being directed to sit at his side. Rodney had half expected to have a fight about seating arrangements.

So, after Harmony had given a little speech. Congratulating Rodney on his new daughter, and that Harmony and her people wished him all the luck and that Kate grows up to be a beautiful, intelligent woman. At one point, Rodney had glanced at the doors, wondering when Mardola would come stomping in to curse Kitty and to never let her near a spinning wheel.

“And the Lady Teyla was telling me the other day that you called her Kitty, not knowing that her former parents were wanting to call her Kateem?”

“Catherine.” Rodney muttered. “Catherine Phillips Sheppard.”

It was a fortnight after Kitty was born that John had found the baby journal that Julie had started. And in it, where the baby’s name would go, Julie had pencilled in ‘Catherine / Anthony’.

“Ah, yes, but that you were calling her Kitty? And that is short for Catherine.” She smiled at him. “I see the gods were in play when they gave her to you. They always favour men of honour and hero’s such as yourself.”

Rodney had no doubt she believed everything she just said. Even if he did have some lingering concerned that she just might be right on some level. Just because the stupid ascended had laws, didn’t mean they were always followed to the letter. But the horrible thought that four people had lost their lives so he and John had a kid was a little stressing to say the least.

“They are always looking kindly upon everyone.” Teyla said from her place next to John. “But maybe the gods looked more favourably on the child? After all, she had lost everything and the gods conspired for her to have another loving family in place, maybe she is set for greatness we have yet to know of?”

Rodney blinked at his team mate as her gaze moved from Harmony to him, where she lifted one eyebrow before turning back to her meal.

Rodney looked down at his daughter, and wondered if maybe, on some lever Teyla was right.

“You got us to Atlantis Rodney.” John whispered into his ear, “She can’t take that away from you.”

Rodney growled at his Mate, knowing he was being laughed at. But John had already processed the whole thing and deemed it not worth worrying about. Rodney guessed he might have a point. He just wanted her to grow up knowing she was more than just a Shifter, that she had the whole universe to play in, and she should settle for nothing less.

“She’s going to be whatever she wants to be.” John said softly into his ear, as he put an arm around his back, so he could lean into him more. “And we are going to support her in that.” he said a little more firmly, and Rodney knew John was thinking of his own farther, trying to push him into a mould that didn’t fit till he just ran away. “Even if that’s a pampered Shifter… or a botanist.”

Rodney snorted at that, but it amused him, “Not if I have anything to do about it.” He muttered. Also, he wasn’t letting her near those Shifter fanatics. He could understand it more if they were biologists or even anthropologists… but plant-botherers? He shivered. “You don’t have to be vulgar.” He snapped, which just made John chuckle as his arm tightened around his back.

--

After pudding, which was something like a custard cream cake, Rodney was growing tired. Harmony’s questions were numerous and tedious, or she was bragging about what accomplishments she had helped her people accomplish, even though Rodney knew it really had nothing to do with her, other than what financial support she gave.

At least Kitty had been content to wake up now and then and only needed changing once during the meal, both he and John were thankful for the break, even if Kitty was trying to kill them with her toxic filled diapers. On returning to the feast, Kitty had just drank her bottle then fallen asleep again. Even during the loud entertainment Harmony had laid on for them.

Then came the presents. Each one brought into the hall by servants and placed in the middle of the room on a table, set up for it. With each, Harmony told them proudly what it was. She seemed keen of giving them delicate jewellery. Rings, necklaces and bracelets. Rodney had tried to refuse such gifts, but Teyla had hissed at them and they fell silent. Then came the swathes of cloth that looked like silk and in different pastel colours and all covered in embroidery of flowers and vines or strange animals. Rodney had no idea what they were meant to do with it all.

“I was wanting to prepare curtaining and beading. But as we do not know the dimensions of your nursery, I thought this a more fitting gift. I am also having a painting commissioned of this auspicious occasion!” She said, waving her hand to a balcony above the hall where he could see about four people with large bordes in their laps. And every now and again they would peek around them to peer down at them.

“Figured it was something like that.” John muttered at his side.

Rodney gave his Mate a glare. He hadn’t even seen them up there all this time, and it was now making his hackles raise. “Thanks for the heads up.” He muttered back then sighed when John just gave him a grin and he instinctively knew Kitty was filling her diaper again. “Shit…” then he groaned again when John actually let out a snort. “It’s your turn.” He said ironically, because it was ‘always’ John’s turn.

“Is something wrong?” Harmony asked and Rodney winced, he had been totally ignoring her.

“Oh, sorry. It would seem Kate needs another change.” He said quickly turning back to her. “Do you mind if we just take a moment to sort it out?”

Harmony’s nose scrunched up in annoyance as her back straightened and Rodney knew there were thought scampering through her head about how she can give a baby some corporal lashings and get away with it. So he jostled Kitty a little then pulled her diaper a little away from her back letting the stench be released.

Instantly Kitty started crying, and Harmony looked like she might join in as she even turned a little green. But she instantly backed off and waved him away.

“That was almost cruel.” John hissed in his ear as the Colonel dragged him away into the corridor behind the banqueting hall and into the room where they had changed Kitty before. “But you should have let the diaper slip off, then we might get to go home.”

Rodney blanched at the thought as John got out a fresh diaper from the bag they had brought that could fit the world in. “I have a feeling that wouldn’t stop her.” He let out a yawn that almost cracked his jaw. “I just want to go home and see about catching a few hours sleep.”

“I second that.” John said as Rodney let him start changing their daughter, desperately trying not to gag. But John was fast and efficient and soon Kitty was changed dressed and back in Rodney’s arms smelling like powder and sunshine. “Come on, lets get back, sooner we get this over with, sooner I can get you both home.”

Rodney grinned at that idea as he suddenly got a moment of mushiness and he pushed himself up against his Mate’s chest so he could give him a quick kiss. “My hero.” He grinned, looking into those annoying hazel eyes that never seemed to settle on a colour.

“I prefer ‘Prince Charmin’.” John’s smug smirk was even a little sexy.

“You would.” Rodney snipped back, quite willing to snuggle up to his Mate, close his eyes and go to sleep standing up.

“Come on.” John was pushing him away by the shoulders. “You can lean on me when we get back and have a nap.”

“Ohhh… I did tell you I love you right?” Rodney felt the stab of grateful tears, he hadn’t thought he was that tired. But it was proving to be a long day and the food had been wonderful enough to make him sleepy.

“A few times, yeah.” John was even sounding smug now as they walked into the corridor.

Rodney was just about to say something else when he saw something down the dark corridor past John’s shoulder. He had a moments thought about introducing Harmony’s people to the wonders of electricity and lighting. When his blood suddenly ran cold.

Without thinking he thrust Kitty into John’s arms as he kicked his shoes off and launched himself down the corridor. When his front paws hit the plush carpet his eyesight was sharper as he bounded down on the person who had been trying to sneak up on them, a knife in her hand.

She smelled musty, like old clothes, and her feet were bare. He recognised her the moment he caught a wiff of her.

Mardola had thrown herself back against the wall in shock when she had seen him Shift, he saw the resolve set into her eye as she began to raze her knife. But it was way to late as he clamped his jaws around her wrist till he heard the knife fall to the floor, then he was forcing her back till she stumbled and fell on her ass and he straddled her then sat all his weight on her to pin her down as he snarled past the arm in his mouth.

He admired her gall, she hadn’t screamed, just glared up at him in hate. She was only a little scared, which shocked him, but pissed him off in all kinds of other ways.

“What is going on here!”

Rodney was about to roll his eyes, but accidentally tightened his jaws, making Mardola squeak a little in pain.

“Seems your sister was trying to get an invite to the party.” John said casually.

“Mardola!” Harmony gasped then Rodney saw lights being carried up towards him. “How did you get out?... where are your guards!”

“Dead!” Mardola cackled, and she didn’t sound at all sane. “Just like you are going to be! I will be QUEEN! I SHOULD BE QUEEN!”

“My Queen, her guards are unconscious. Drugged maybe.” Another voice called up the corridor and he heard Harmony take a deep breath then let it out slowly.

“Very well.” She said slowly, and Rodney through she actually sounded like the queen she would turn out to be. “Colonel, if you could ask your partner to release my sister, I will have her restrained and taken back to her confinement.”

“Rodney.” John said softly and Rodney did roll his eyes as he saw men in the castles livery actually start flanking him, but keeping their distance. Once he thought they were in place he stood and backed away, only letting go of her arm when he was sure she couldn’t lash out at him. then backing right up against John’s legs. “Good boy.” John said and Rodney couldn’t help but glare up at him, then he saw Kitty and his heart froze. He hadnt even thought about it, just thrust Kitty at John then taken off after the danger… but nothing about that felt wrong. In fact it felt totally right.

“Oh. For god sake.” John said and then he was bobbing down. “See, she’s fine. I’m fine. Everyone’s…” Rodney saw him look behind him as he actually did snuffle his nose against his daughters cheek, smelling her delicate sent under all the talc, creams and chemicals in her diaper, even the conditioner they washed her clothes in. And she smelled like heaven. “… Almost everyone is fine.” John finished.

“I am sorry for my sisters impertinence.” Harmony was saying. “She has not been… well… we keep her as comfortable as we can… I hope this will not spoil the rest of my gift giving.”

Rodney shrugged as John used his shoulder to get back to his feet.

“Ah, no, I guess no harm was done.” John said diplomatically. After all, this crap happened to them all the time, just this time there wasn’t any blood shed.

Rodney felt the brush of a question in his mind and he just grinned up at his Mate, which made John sigh as he walked back to the hall, like there was a chance he was going to Shift back when he could catch some sleep in front of everyone and them not be offended!

Sometimes being a Shifter really did have its perks.

Teyla was waiting for them, looking both relived and concerned at the same time. But John just waved at her. The usual signal for ‘tell you later’. She did look shocked when she realised John was holding Kitty. Then her smile widened.

“It’s about time.” She whispered as they walked to their seats.

“Yeah.” John answered. And Rodney was satisfied that his Mate wasn’t going to give Kitty to anyone else any time soon. He even wondered if he would have a hard time once he needed to hold their daughter again. “It’s called ‘sharing’ Rodney.” John growled under his breath. “Get used to it.” He teased.

++++++++++++

John couldn’t keep the stupid grin off his face. Really, he was sure it was about to become permanent.

“Greaaaw!”

“Yeah, yeah.” John said as he mentally locked their apartment door.

An hour ago, Harmony had finally let them go. Her people had helped Teyla and Ronon to squeeze all their gifts into the back of the Jumper, then they had come home. The whole time, John had held Kitty.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to holding a baby while flying. But he hoped not to make a habit of it.

He was also still a little surprised Rodney hadn’t Shifted. Even if it meant John would have had to redo all the Velcro on his clothes, he was sure they would have been given the privacy to do it. But he wasn’t arguing. If Rodney was okay with him holding Kitty, then he was gong to hold her. Especially as it didn’t involve diaper changes.

“GrrrrRRR!”

John rolled his eyes. “You know the telepathy thing was working just fine… You don’t want to go to bed?” John asked as he turned from their bedroom door, he could feel how tired his tiger was, but Rodney was wanting him to go sit on the sofa, the huge cat was already climbing onto.

Rodney huffed as he plonked his backside down, then lifted one paw to beckon him over.

With a chuckle, he did the good husband thing and obeyed his good wife. Which got him a growl for the mental image he had tried not to share. He sat down carefully in the space Rodney left, making sure he didn’t jostle Kitty, who was hard and fast asleep.

Once he was sat and comfortable, Rodney shuffled up till his warm fury chest was pressed up along John’s side, his large chin resting on John’s shoulder as they both looked down at the sleeping baby.

Rodney began purring, the deep rumble going through John and making him feel contented and unbelievably happy. He wasn’t sure he had ever actually been this happy ever in his life.

He guessed this was how Rodney must have felt when they first Bonded. Suddenly having everything you never through you wanted or would get. And being very happy with the way things actually turned out.

He felt Rodney’s answering acknowledgment as well as the warm glow of joy flood through their Bond in a heady wave he was willing to drowned in.

“We are two very luck bastards.” He grinned.

Rodney gave a little snort of amused agreement as John felt his Mate’s mind go a little dull as sleep approached.

“Sleep.” He whispered into a fury cheek pressed against his own, “I have you both…”

With a smile, John relaxed as Rodney slipped into sleep and Kitty stayed that way.

He would protect these two most precious beings for as long as he breathed.

His Family.

++++++++++++

++++++++++++

EPILOGUE

[6 Months later]

John was sure his jaw might break as he yawned, rubbing his hand across his eyes as he made his way back over to the mat under the TV where he had left Kitty trying to roll around while she blow bubbled and babbled to herself.

Rodney had commented that it looked like someone having a fit as she waved her little arms around. John had tried to say Rodney shouldn’t say such horrid things, but he had laughed so hard he had cried, so he was going to hell, but he blamed it on lack of sleep. But Rodney had just given him a smirk and gone to play with their daughter.

Thinking of his Mate, that bugger was still in bed. his furry ass still well and truly asleep. Even with his super sensitive hearing when he was Shifted, and his superman hearing when it came to anything Kitty sounding. He hadn’t even twitched a whisker as John got out of bed non to quietly when Kitty was screaming from her room.

John couldn’t really blame his Mate. He had only got to bed about three hours ago from a thirty six hour emergency. John had made sure it wasn’t life threatening… well not in a city wide way, but god help the four stupid idiots who caused some kind of power drain, because Rodney had not been happy. Even Radek had been pretty scary when John had run away after he was sure he didn’t have to take his daughter and Mate through a gate to safety.

So. The disaster was averted. Rodney was so fast asleep he wasn’t even dreaming, and somewhere in the city, four scientists were wetting themselves and writing their resignation letters before the Great and Powerful Doctor Sheppard descended on them from ‘a well rested’ on high.

Right now though, there was a little madam who was being strangely quiet. Especially when she hadn’t stopped crying even after he had changed her. Demanding her little belly be filled by formula that was ‘just’ the right temperature or her dad’s could drink it themselves… or wear it. Which ever came first.

In fact, he was a little concerned. “Mons… teeer… crap!” instead of all the tragically horrible pictured that dashed through his head… he was not expecting what greeted his eyes.

Instead of a six month old baby, with blue eyes and wisps of white blond hair dressed in her night onesie… he had a very confused tiger cub struggling around in a onesie. Without thinking he knelt down and with practised ease, removed all her clothes and diaper. The moment her tiny tale came free her little face seemed less scrunched as she looked at him accusingly, which just made him laugh.

“Rodney!” He shouted as he got to his feet and went into their bedroom. “Rodney, wake up!” he kicked the mattress hard enough that Rodney growled as he was rocked a little. “Come on! You need to see this!”

One blue eye cracked open to glare at him, then widened considerably as John held Kitty under her forelegs to show his husband a little white fury belly. “Surprise, it’s a Shifter.” He grinned.

Like liquid, Rodney rolled around slowly, his eyes never leaving Kitty. Then he was sat staring at her as John continued holding her out.

“Yup.” John said when Rodney’s eyes flicked to his own for a moment. Then he turned Kitty around. “She might just be a normal tiger, but she’s going to be a stunner.” He smiled as he lifted her up so he could rub his nose against her little pink one, and his heart melted when she gave a little squeak of a meow. “So Fluffy!” he said breathlessly, trying to be funny, but just coming off like the doting mushy sap he was when it came to his daughter.

He saw Rodney roll his eyes, then he was shuffling backwards and John knew what his Mate was asking. So he held Kitty to his chest with one arm while shoving his pillow against the headboard and then sitting down on the bed, letting Kitty lay sprawled against his stomach.

She meowed again, her little head trying to turn towards Rodney as he came closer.

John hadn’t really known what to expect. He was told that Kitty would Shift whenever she was good and ready… but that it wasn’t normally till they were about three. So to see his daughter as a tiny cub was a little strange. Her eyes looked like they had just opened and like her baby self, she couldn’t seem to lift her head or move to well.

He moved his hand from her back to her butt when Rodney leaned in and began sniffing at her. He reached his other hand out to lay on the back of his Mates head as he watched Rodney do his thing. It was a little strange to see how large Rodney’s teeth were in comparison to Kitty’s little head, but she was soon engulfed by a big pink tongue.

“This again?” John asked softly. Making it a question rather than a sarcastic criticism. Rodney had done much the same thing the first time he had Shifted.

Rodney just began purring loudly as John felt him letting his Shifter side take over, even though John was sure there would be complaints of hairballs forthcoming, he really didn’t care at that moment as he let himself just relax and sink into his Mates mind.

It wasn’t like Rodney had gone feral, or let the ‘beast’ take over, like in that film Jeannie and Mary made them all sit through. It was just calm, everything that needed doing would be done and those that didn’t wouldn’t. It was so uncomplicated. And it was something that had only come about after Kitty had come rocketing into their lives.

Rodney was a lot calmer now, his mind not as chaotic as it had been for ever. Though they joked it might be the sleep depravation. But the calmer Rodney was, the more astoundingly brilliant he became. So much so Radek had come to him asking if Rodney might have been taken over by an ancient or a Goa'uld or something. John had worried about it for a nanosecond before he was aware of his Mate getting angry at another member of his staff. So he hadn’t been worried. He just asked Radek to keep an eye on Rodney at work. After all, if people could see that Rodney’s mind was running rings around them all in six months… what would a few years do?...

He would have to get Rodney to build a ferries wheel on the south pier, that might keep his mind occupied for a year or so. “Uck!” he squeaked when a sandpaper tongue swiped in the side of his face.

“What?” he demanded as blue orbs looked straight into his own eyes, Rodney was almost nose to nose. Which was kinda amusing as Rodney’s nose right now was huge, so he couldn’t help but kiss it, feeling the short hair against his lips. “Fine, but when we go Earth side, we ARE going to London and WE will go on the ‘London Eye’.”

Rodney snorted, but he was amused enough as he settled down against John’s side, one paw came up to rest on John’s belly, to help keep Kitty where she was, her little eyes looking up at them both.

“In a few years…” He said softly with a half smile. “I’m going to be sandwiched between the pair of you aren’t I?” The thought was slightly worrying as Rodney was heavy as a Tiger, but to have two?... no, it was no good. He was actually looking forward to it, though in the play fights he knew he was coming off worse. Rodney snorted. “Yeah I know, But it still makes me the odd one out. Your both going to gang up on me looking all cute and fluffy.” He grimaced, knowing it was inevitable.

Suddenly Kitty began crying, he little cub cries were piercing and he knew instantly that she still wanted feeding. “Crap, I’ll need to reheat her bottle.” He said as he struggled to his feet, then he placed Kitty on the bed as he fled to the kitchen.

When he got back his chest tightened.

Rodney had moved down the bed, so his hindquarters were laid sideways on the bed, but his front half was sat up in a typical cat pose. But all his attention was on Kitty, who had somehow got to Rodney’s belly, and her tiny paws were pummelling away at Rodney’s fur. She was making little snorty noises and wasn’t sounding happy in the least.

John couldn’t help but laugh, Rodney was too scared to move in case he squashed her, but John could feel his insides dancing with delight. “Did she actually find one of your many nipples?” John teased as he got onto the bed with his tigers. Kitty’s bright orange fur a beautiful contrast to Rodney’s white.

Rodney didn’t even give him a glare, just kept his eyes on Kitty. So carefully, John put her bottle against Rodney’s chest, just above her tiny head, where he slowly started to lower it. At first Kitty didn’t like the intrusion against the side of her head, but she must have smelt the milk and she began snuffling again until the teat was in just the right place for her to get her mouth around it and after a little more frustrated snuffles she was drinking with her normal gusto, but her little paws were still in Rodney’s fur, tiny claws digging in, then letting go.

John was quietly aware that this was one of ‘those’ moment that you could never forget. Where all three of them were content and happy. Where nothing could intrude and he wished time could stand still for just a few hours more.

He moved so he could put an arm around Rodney’s shoulders as he kissed the side of his Mate’s wide mouth. “Love you.” He said softly as he buried his face against his Shifters. He felt Rodney’s emotions mirror his own, and maybe… if Kitty went to sleep... they could maybe have a moment alo…

/”Colonel and Doctor Sheppard, you’re needed in the gate room! ASAP!”/

John sighed deeply.

It was life as usually then.

Mummy and Baby

THE END!!!!

err... There is another little Christmas story I did for this...

Xmas Tail - an SGA Kitty Time Christmas Tale.

Please read! ^_^