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Dowoon called every day after that, always making sure Younghyun was on-call before doing so; he had written down his work hours after he had called and Sungjin had answered. At first, they talked about trivial things, work and school, favorite color and foods. But as the second week of them talking ended, they started to get darker, deeper. They went into fears; Dowoon’s fear of failure, of his mood swings, Younghyun’s fear of disappointment, of his depression. Two weeks went onto three, then four, and Younghyun felt as though he had known Dowoon for years, the way they were able to talk so comfortably and openly. He helped Dowoon with his bipolar disorder, researching coping mechanisms and different tricks to ease the mood swings, helped him compose a letter to his university explaining his situation, asking for financial help with his medication. Younghyun thought they were really gaining progress.
Then, there was radio silence. For a week Younghyun found himself wishing every time he picked up a call that it would be Dowoon on the other line. He had this need to make sure his friend, acquaintance, pen pal, whatever was okay, that he was safe. The silence worried the hell out of him. Hadn’t they made progress? Had Younghyun done something to piss him off? Had Dowoon figured out that this wasn’t the hotline? Was he mad?
- - -
Wonpil walked into the breakroom, headset flashing red, signaling he had a caller. He frowned slightly. “There’s a caller on line four asking to talk to Brian? That’s you, right? Why is he asking for you?”
“Forward them to me.” Younghyun got up, lunch abandoned as he rushed to his desk.
“But--”
“Forward them to me.” Younghyun said through gritted teeth.
Trust Wonpil to always be nosy with everything in the office. No doubt Jae would hear about this later, who would in turn tell Sungjin, who is going to mad Younghyun is “chatting with friends” instead of working. Which isn’t the case at all. Dowoon is a caller, a customer. Kind of. Okay, not really. But Younghyun doesn’t care; he is too emotionally invested in this to let it go.
“Hi, hello, this is Brian.”
A sigh of relief.
“Hi.” His voice was softer, deeper now that it wasn’t strained with sobs.
“How have you been?”
Do you feel safe?
“I’ve been okay.”
Yeah, I’m safe.
“Haven’t heard from you for a while.”
I was worried.
“I didn’t want to bother you.”
I’m scared of getting too close.
“It’s no big deal, really. But if you feel that way, I can always give you my personal number? So we can text? Honestly, I don’t mind at all. It may be easier.”
“Oh, I don’t... I wouldn’t want to intrude on your personal life. Isn’t that against the rules of this hotline-thing anyways?”
Oh, fuck. It was now or never.
“Oh, uh, about that...” He honestly had no fucking clue how to say this without making everything awkward. To hell with it, he thought. “So, okay. This isn’t the suicide hotline number? It’s actually like, one number off from this one. And I’m actually an on-call customer service assistant but I’m studying counseling psychology as my graduate degree and I was a volunteer for a teen hotline in high school so it’s no big deal, really, only my boss is getting suspicious because we’ve been having three-hour conversations for weeks now but I don’t want to stop talking to you because you’re really fucking cool and I really like you and I want to be friends and that’s why I’m offering my number and my name isn’t even Brian it’s Younghyun but I’m a fucking moron and gave you the dumb nickname my boss uses just to piss me off and I really just want to meet you in real life and give you a hug but not in like a creepy way I swear I’m just... gonna... shut up now... yeah...”
Younghyun was scared Dowoon had hung up, until he heard a soft chuckle. Dowoon giggled deep and clear, which grew into a full-grown laugh. At some point, Younghyun had joined in, the two of them both laughing as hard as they could. Once they could finally breathe again, Dowoon responded.
“I kind of figured out this was the wrong number after that one time I called and got someone else, but I just felt too embarrassed to say anything.”
Fucking Sungjin, always ruining everything.
“Oh.”
“But... yeah...” a pause “so there’s this coffee shop I like, yeah? Maybe you could give me your number in person?” Tomorrow morning at around 9?”
Younghyun had a class, but fuck it.
“Y-Yeah, okay.”
“I’ll be wearing a red beret.”
“Okay.”
- - -
“Hi, I’m Kang Younghyun.”
“Hello Younghyun, I’m Yoon Dowoon. It’s nice to finally see you.”
They smiled.