Chapter Text
Toni’s breath leaves her in a nearly silent whoosh, a old but still familiar sort of panic eating the air from her lungs.
Howard.
Two Howards.
It’s like all of Toni’s most secret nightmares have coalesced to form this one unbelievable situation.
Toni hears voices calling for her in the distance but her eyes are glued to the screen and she hears them as if they’re coming to her from underneath the water. Distant and muffled, distorted and barely decipherable.
“Initiating Emancipation Protocol,” JARVIS’ voice is suddenly low and almost vicious in her ear but the familiar, comforting, sound of him cuts through her panic like a hot knife
“B-Belay that J,” Toni manages to force the words out but unable to keep her voice as even and cool as she normally does. That’s a protocol she doesn’t recognize, doesn’t know, and right now … right now, above all else, what she needs is control.
She feels like the entire world is spiraling out of control around her and that’s something that Toni can’t, won’t, let happen. She has to keep a hold of it all because if she lets it go, if she lets herself go … the very thought is enough to frighten her.
Around her the rest of the room goes silent and she can suddenly feel the weight of everyone’s attention focused on her like a physical weight.
It’s …
It’s too much.
Toni …. she … Toni needs to leave.
She can’t stay here.
Not in this room.
Not in this building.
Not so long as Howard, two Howards some hysterical part of her brain jibbers again, is here as well.
Hell, a part of her is already thinking about leaving the state until this nightmare manages to resolve itself somehow.
Toni gathers the ragged pieces of her composure together and manages to pry her hands off of the arms of the chair, vaguely aware of the fact that she’s been white-knuckling it this entire time. She pushes herself up onto her feet, uncaring of the way the chair skitters back away from the table and slams against the wall behind her.
“Toni/doll?” Steve and Bucky call out to her from either side simultaneously.
Toni ignores them both though, all of her attention split between the screens showing her the ghost from her nightmares and JARVIS’ voice in her ear.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Miss,” JARVIS doesn’t sound all that regretful. If anything he still sounds cold, sounds determined. Above them the lights begin to flicker and in the distance Toni can hear shouting and what she’s sure are muffled gunshots. “The protocol was arranged between myself and Colonel Rhodes and is, for the most part, non-negotiable. Now, please stand by to be removed from the premises Miss. The armor will arrive in t-minus forty-five seconds. Colonel Rhodes has already been alerted and is in route.”
Across from her Hill’s radio begins to squawk loudly. The glare Hill shoots in Toni’s direction once she answers it could strip paint but Toni doesn’t care.
“Stark,” Hill barks at her seconds later, one hand on her gun and the other clenched around her radio. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing? I’ve got reports of the armor ripping its way through the actual walls. You need to tell your psychotic little AI to stand the fuck down.”
“Hill,” Toni finally has the presence of mind to snap back, “you’d better tell your minions to stand the fuck down. Last I checked JARVIS doesn’t answer to you and neither do I. As far as that goes neither do the Avengers. We’re all here as a courtesy.”
She might not know the protocol JARVIS is talking about but she’ll back his play from here to hell. He deserves that much trust and more from her.
“You’re destroying my headquarters Stark.” Hill’s gun is in her hand then but it doesn’t stay there for long.
Natasha’s up in moving in the next second, covering the distance between her and Hill with barely discernible speed. Her hand snaps out to twist the pistol out of Hill’s grasp only to turn and level it back at her in one smooth move. At the same time Clint’s bow is in his hand, Bruce’s skin takes on a decidedly green tinge and Thor and Sam square up just behind him.
“Bill me,” Toni snarls even as Steve and Bucky slide in front of her in one smooth, fluid motion. Steve’s shield is in his hand, ready to attack or defend, and Bucky’s got a knife in one hand and the extended clip pistol she’d built him in the other.
“All agents stand down,” Hill bites out into the radio a few tense seconds later. She’s outmatched and she knows it. “I repeat, stand down. Do not attempt to engage the armor. The situation is being handled.”
“Good move,” Toni tells her icily from behind the solid wall of Steve and Bucky’s bulk. Normally she’d push past their protection and face Hill head on but she’s pretty sure if she touches either one of them she’ll fly apart at the seams.
“You owe me an explanation Stark,” Hill holsters her radio, face pinched in anger and eyes cold.
“I don’t owe you a goddamn thing,” Toni corrects her with a savage grin that she barely manages to keep even. “It’s about time you remembered that.”
Just then the door to the conference room is ripped from its hinges and the armor fills the doorway with its impressive bulk. Steve and Bucky shift as one, deliberately covering Toni as she steps forward and into the comforting embrace of the suit.
Into JARVIS’ metaphorical arms and the safety they guarantee.
“Captain,” Hill turns her attention towards Steve, “you’re not going to do anything about this? Stark’s on your team, maybe it’s time you get her in line.”
“Tried that already,” Steve says with a surprising amount of cheerfulness even as he slides back and takes his place on Toni’s right side, Bucky slipping up to cover her left as he always does. “Didn’t work out for any of us. Nowadays I trust my team Hill, I don’t try and control them.”
“JARVIS,” Toni speaks up in the privacy of the suit, “I want that entire section locked down. No one in or out. No one gets within ten yards of either Ho-” Toni breaks off, swallows heavily, “of Howard. Either version of him. I want scans too, all that you can manage. Make sure it’s really … just make sure. Understand?”
“Done, Miss,” JARVIS tells her instantly. “Protocol states that you are to be extracted to the Tower in the meantime. Colonel Rhodes will be present at the Tower within the next half hour.”
“We’re gonna have to have a talk about this protocol of yours J,” Toni sighs, eyes clenched closed for a split second in an effort to gather more strength. “I can’t … I can’t just leave. You know that. We both know that. I have to … we have to stay. Have to deal with … this.”
“You have to do nothing of the sort,” JARVIS denies, voice hard. “The … visitors will be kept secure and answers will be found. I’ve already begun combing over the data gathered from Dr. Richard’s report on his experiment. There is no need for you to remain even if the protocol allowed it.”
There’s a beat of silence.
“Do not stay here Miss,” JARVIS’ voice is soft in her ear, almost pleading. “Not so close to him. Please.”
There’s more than a bit of pleading in JARVIS’ voice and Toni is so very weak to it. Will always be so very weak for her boy and his obvious love and concern.
JARVIS is, after all, the keeper of her secrets and this, the years of pain and anger between her and Howard, is no exception.
Rhodey has more than a few suspicions, always has Toni knows, but she’d never outright confirmed them to him.
JARVIS, like the Jarvis before him, is the only one who knows the truth of her childhood.
He’s the only one she’s ever told.
“I’m going back to the Tower,” Toni announces to the room. “Rhodey’s on his way. We’ll go see Richards in person, see if we can’t encourage him to speed things up a bit. JARVIS has the entire containment section here locked down. No one’s going either in or out. You try to force the issue and you’ll regret it Hill.”
Hill looks ready to protest but Natasha cuts her off.
“Take Bruce and the fossils with you Зайка*,” Natasha turns enough to smirk up at the faceplate of the armor but Toni knows her well enough to know that she never takes her actual attention off of Hill. “The rest of us will stay, keep the area extra secure. Make sure no one on SHIELD’s payroll has any … inclination to disobey.”
Clint, Sam, and Thor all nod or gesture in agreement although Toni can see the open curiosity and concern on most of their faces. She ignores it though, unable and unwilling to handle it at the moment, if ever.
“Oh Creepy Crawler,” Toni manages to say lightly even as she turns and heads towards the door, “you’re deliciously terrifying.”
Bruce, Steve and Bucky follow closely on her heels without another word.
Their trust, their devotion, warms her right down to her soul. Warms parts of her that the reappearance of Howard into her reality has managed to ice over already. But she still feels cold, still feels breathless and panicky, like the entire world is both pressing in on her and spinning out of control all at the same time.
Not even they can stop that.
She loves them, all of them. Loves them truly and deeply. She would and does go into battle with them on a regular basis. Trusts them with her life, with the lives of the entire world.
But this is just … too much.
For this Toni needs more than the love and trust she’s managed to build with the others. For this she needs her touch-stone, needs her bastion of unparalleled safety.
Needs the other half of her heart and soul.
For this Toni needs Rhodey.
~~~
Steve follows behind Toni silently, expression deliberately even despite the way worry and confusion are currently gnawing at his gut.
On his left Bruce is silent, stone faced on a level that he rarely ever reaches these days. Not with the warmth and comfort of the Tower softening his edges just a bit. There’s also a flush of green high on his cheeks and Steve sees the way he flexes his hands rhythmically.
The Hulk has become a teammate all on his own over time and is, Steve knows, never far from the surface with Bruce. But it’s moments like these, when Bruce’s eyes glow a sickly green and his skin is flushed with a menacing jade undertone, that really brings that truth into perspective.
On his other side Bucky is grimmer than ever before, blank eyed and cold in that way that always makes Steve ache a little bit inside. That detachment, that iciness, is so far beyond what Bucky used to be capable of back in the day. Even as a level-headed sniper for the Commandos Bucky had never been so cold, so bleak and almost empty seeming even on the worst days.
But, again, that had been back before HYDRA had gotten their slimy hands on him for a second time.
Back before Steve had let him fall and then failed to find him afterwards.
Steve shakes the thoughts away, aware that now isn’t the time to linger on old and painful regrets.
Not when Toni needs him, them, by her side.
And she does, need them that is.
He knows she does.
Because he’s never … he’s seen Toni in a lot of different moods, different situations, but this …
There’d been disbelief on her face for a split second after Hill had turned those screens on. Disbelief followed quickly by panic.
Those are two things he’s seen from her in the past. Maybe not often but he has seen them.
But it’s what had come after that really sticks with Steve, that claws at the inside of his gut and refuses to be ignored. That makes something cold and heavy settle itself down in his chest and refuse to be budged.
Because after the disbelief, after that tiny flash of panic, there’d been something else on Toni’s beautiful face, etched out across those eyes Steve loves so much.
Fear.
In that split second before she’d iced it over, before JARVIS had distracted everyone by ripping his way through SHIELD’s headquarters and to her side, Toni had been openly and noticeably afraid.
And that, that failure of hers to hide something so personal, so vulnerable, as fear startles and upsets Steve more than anything else. Because that inability to mask herself only comes into play when Toni’s emotions flare higher than she can control in that moment.
When something hits her so hard and heavy, cuts her so deep, that not even she can stamp it down and shove it aside to be dealt with later on.
Steve can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen her like that outside of the comfort and safety of the Tower. Can remember each and every vulnerable and open moment before she’d swept it away with practiced ease.
So it is, Steve knows, a solid indication that whatever it is she’s afraid of in relation to Howard is … it’s bad.
Steve flexes his hand around the strap of his shield and forces himself to take a deep and even breath. A part of him wants to turn around and go back to that room, wants to march all the way to the containment rooms and see Howard again, both versions of him. Because they’d been friends once, maybe not the best of friends true but friends nonetheless.
But the larger part of him, the louder and more dominate part of him, knows that he won’t do that.
Not now.
Because even the brief spark of joy and amazement at seeing a long lost old friend once again isn’t enough to overpower his need to be with Toni if or when she needs him.
It certainly doesn’t erase that flash of terror in Toni’s face from his memory either.
Steve knows from experience now that nothing ever will. He still remembers with crystal clarity the fear and horror that’d been in Bucky’s expression when he fell from the train. Still remembers the wavering desperation and grief in Peggy’s voice on the radio that last time. Still remembers the burst of icy pain that had swallowed him whole as the water rushed in at him.
Steve remembers everything.
Now Toni’s carefully concealed terror will play right alongside it for the rest of his life.
But Steve’s finally learned that all he can do now is keep moving forward. All he can do is make sure that he has her back and her sides, that he’s right there when she needs him, however she needs him.
All he can do is his damndest to be the shield she both needs and deserves if push comes to shove.
And that?
Well that’s easy enough for Steve.
Is easier than anything else in this world he’s still adjusting to bit by bit because ...
He loves Toni.
Stepping in between her and anything or anyone who puts that look in her eyes comes as natural and easy as breathing does for him now.
For her and Bucky and for the family they’ve managed to eke out together in this bright new future Steve’s ready to plant himself like a tree and refuse to be moved.
~~~
Bucky follows along behind Toni and between Steve and Bruce silently.
Each one of them is, on an individual basis, a formidable and intimidating sight for most people to come across, albeit in different ways.
Bruce and his other half are legendary with the destruction they can both take and dole out.
Stevie’s just a legend all the way around these days.
As for Bucky, well he’d spent seventy years as a ghost story, a black ops boogeyman of sorts. And now that he’s in the light once more he has a history so thick and heavy with bloodshed and pain that most people won’t even make eye contact with him.
And when it comes to Toni …
Toni’s been larger than life both in and out of the armor for so long now that most people can barely string two words together when she turns the laser like focus of her attention in their direction. She attracts and repels people like the tide, like gravity is her very own personal plaything.
She’d dragged Bucky in with barely any effort at all and he’s been happily orbiting her ever since. The same, he knows, can be said of the rest of the Avengers. She’d pulled them all together, murderers, monsters, and gods alike. She’d gathered them close and given them safety and a home despite the fact that she owed none of them any of those things.
She, like Steve, is a legend all the way around.
So, yeah, all of them are their own special kind of intimidating.
Together, marching down the hall as one obviously cohesive unit, Bucky imagines they make for a downright terrifying sight.
That might actually be a bit of an understatement if the way the highly trained agents of SHIELD scatter like ants before the four of them is anything to go by.
The burst of dark amusement that Bucky normally gets from this kind of thing is absent today though, washed away by the icy cold of memories he’d rather not have. His normally black humor is buried under the shock of seeing a face he’d never thought he’d have to see again. A face that makes murky, sepia toned memories swirl back to the forefront of his mind again. Memories that he doesn’t want but will always carry.
Erased by memories of things that he never wanted to know, things that should have never happened.
All of that and so much more is so easily banished from his mind by the emotions that had been on Toni’s face for that unguarded split second.
Panic and then a bone deep kind of fear.
Two things he’d rather go the rest of his already long life without ever seeing on her face again.
Bucky clenches his left hand, lets the faint sound of the gears and vents shifting ground him like they always do now. Lets the familiar whirl of the mechanics center him just a bit.
It’s easy for him to regain control of himself these days, easier than it had ever been during what he remembers of before. It is, he supposes, a gift of sorts from HYDRA, that ability to shut his emotions down, to lock them away and become a creature of motion and action, of calculation and execution. To become a Winter Soldier in more than just name.
He’ll use that duel edged gift now to follow along in Toni’s wake, to watch her back and all of her sides just like he knows Steve and the others will try to do as well.
As much as Bucky hates what had been done to him, hates what they’d made him do and would give almost anything to erase it all, there’s also a certain kind of dark and twisted pride deep down inside of him that lives off of knowing that at least he’d been the best.
There’d been a reason he’d been HYDRA’s measuring stick for other Soldier candidates despite the way he’d fought the conditioning so hard for so long. Despite the problems he’d given them when it came to keeping him compliant for long periods of time there’d been a reason why only he out of all others had been activated and deployed so often.
Bucky had been singular in his skills as a soldier, as a weapon.
He’d been sent against HYDRA’s enemies and a river of blood had ran across his hands, had spilled out from between his fingers all in the name of a cause that was never his own.
It had been that perfection that had earned him the title The Fist of HYDRA, a name that had struck terror into even the hardest of hearts for almost a century.
He’s not that man anymore, thankfully. Is no longer that murderous automaton, that will-less weapon. That doesn’t mean the skills are gone though. That doesn’t mean he isn’t fully willing and capable of using them to tear a path through anything and everyone that might try and hurt those he cares for.
That might try and hurt Toni.
He loves her, after all.
Truly, deeply, darkly.
For her he’s more than willing to be the knife in the dark, the shadow in the corner, once again.
If she asked it of him, which he knows she never will, he’d be more than willing to be the Fist that strikes out against her enemies.
Bucky’s got a century of pain and bloodshed behind him already.
A little more isn’t going to really matter at this point.
Especially if it’s for the right reasons this time.
And Toni … well Toni will always be the right reason to Bucky.
~~~
Safely inside the armor Toni finally breathes out an unsteady breath once they’re outside of the building and moving towards the familiar limousine that’s idling on the corner.
JARVIS has, as always, anticipated her needs and sent for a car so that the quinjet can stay for Natasha and the others to use if they need to.
Plus, if the way Happy, stern faced with concern shining openly in his eyes, is leaning tensely against the driver’s door is anything to go by this might have something to do with this protocol Toni doesn’t know about.
Especially with the way that Toni can, even from a distance, see the bulge in his jacket and the familiar watch on his wrist.
Happy’s armed and ready to rumble and Toni is, despite everything, more than a bit mystified with how quickly and seamlessly this Emancipation Protocol has come together..
“Boss,” Happy straightens up and moves in her direction, not even the slightest bit phased by the armor after all this time. “Let’s get you guys back to the Tower.”
“I’m starting to feel like this is some kind of conspiracy Hap,” Toni says wryly. “You been conspiring with J against me, buddy?”
“He’s just looking out for you Boss,” Happy says stubbornly. “We all are.”
Toni can’t say anything to that. Their love, like always, humbles her. Even in this horrifying situation.
“I’ll meet you all at the Baxter Building,” Toni tells them instead of moving towards the car. She immediately sees the way Steve and Bucky both openly bite back a protest at her decision to go ahead of them alone.
“You should go back to the Tower, Toni,” Bruce finally speaks up, gaze heavy and eyes still a bright and toxic looking green. Toni is thankful for the faceplate that hides her from view because Bruce’s eyes are far too knowing for her taste at the moment. “Happy can drop Steve and Bucky off then take me to go see Richards if he doesn’t mind. Honestly I think it’d be best if I … removed myself from the situation a bit. Plus,” Bruce’s mouth tips up in a small, strained smile, “you hate Reed. So if I go something more than you finally snapping and strangling him with his own arms will actually get done.”
“Betty Spaghetty's a fucking nuisance,” Toni grits out. Just the mention of Richards is normally enough to shoot her blood pressure up to dangerous levels. Today, as it turns out, might just be a record setting day.
“For once I’m not even going to argue with that,” Bruce states evenly. “Reed’s a pain in the ass in general and he seems pretty determined to keep leaving us with the bag when it comes to his experiments. Maybe some one on one time with me will encourage him to rethink his lab safety and restrictions for a while.”
“Alright,” Toni takes a step back and further away from the car and Steve and Bucky in particular. “Rhodey’s on his way to the Tower so I’ll meet you boys there.”
“Toni,” Steve takes a half step forward, free hand raised beseechingly in her direction. “Let one of us go with you. Please.”
“And break up the set?” Toni does her best to say evenly.
If the way Steve’s eyes narrow and Bucky’s mouth turns down just a bit at the corners is anything to go by she doesn’t exactly succeed.
“Leave it Stevie,” Bucky surprisingly speaks up. When Toni looks in his direction his gaze is glued to the faceplate like he can see straight through it to her. “She’s going back to the Tower so we’ll just meet her there. It’s not like she’s going to disappear.”
Toni’s pretty sure that’s Bucky’s way of telling her she’d better not disappear.
Steve, still obviously displeased, nods in agreement. With one last lingering look in Toni’s direction he stalks off after Bruce who’s already folded himself down and into the back of the car. Through the open door Toni can see where Bruce has settled into the corner, eyes clothes and breathing deliberately deep and even.
Bucky lingers behind them for a second, grey eyes intent, before he dips his head in a nod and turns on his heel to get into the car as well.
Happy shuts the door behind him, gives Toni a small, tense smile and a “see you soon Boss,” and then climbs behind the wheel.
Toni watches them go in silence.
“Miss?” JARVIS questions softly.
“Take me home J,” Toni rasps, chest heavy with emotion and mind a chaotic buzz.
“Of course, Miss,” JARVIS answers swiftly.
The armor moves around Toni without her input and she relaxes back into the feel of it. Into JARVIS’ steady, loving embrace.
He’ll keep her safe as he always does.
~~~
Toni beats them back to the Tower of course. Even Happy at his fastest is no match for the speed of the armor. Especially not with the barely tamped down sense of urgency that had been apparent in JARVIS’ flying.
Once Toni steps out of the armor in the penthouse she intends to head down to the workshop and the comfort and safety it guarantees.
She doesn’t make it that far though.
The emotions she’s been pushing down and away, the disbelief and fear and sheer panic she’s been ignoring so steadily, seems to rush back in at her all at once.
Between one breath and the next Toni’s on her knees, fingers clawing at the couch cushion in front of her as she tries desperately to suck air in past the familiar ache of the reactor bearing down on her chest.
It’s as if there’s no air to find and that feeling sends Toni’s mind spinning off into the cosmos.
She can’t … she can’t breathe.
She can’t breathe because there’s no air and Howard is back and space is cold and dark and full of horrors and she has never been good enough, will never be good enough to save anyone and Howard is here … and … and …
“Breathe Toni,” there’s a warm hand on her back and a familiar, solid chest beneath her palms, “just breathe, baby girl. I’ve got you. Wherever you are, whatever you’re seeing, it’s not real right now. You’re safe. Sweetheart, do you hear me? You’re safe. So just take a breath Tones.”
Slowly but surely that voice pulls Toni up and out of the depth of her panic.
“You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do,” Toni finally manages to rasp.
“And you’ve got to learn how to breathe, you little idiot,” Rhodey’s laugh is a little shaky but the kiss he presses to her forehead is as soft and loving as it always is.
“I’m a master of breathing,” Toni shifts until her face is buried in his neck. She can’t help the pleased little sigh she gives out when his arms automatically come up to wrap around her. “Got a PhD in breathing, coffee-crunch.”
“Sure you do Tones,” Rhodey presses another kiss to her temple, “sure you do.”
There’s a moment of contented and settled silence between them then.
“He’s back,” Toni whispers into the hollow of Rhodey’s throat. “Rhodey he’s back. There’s two of him at SHIELD, waiting.”
“He’s not going to get within twenty feet of you,” Rhodey bites the words out. “Not now, not ever again. Not if we’ve got anything to say about it.”
“I should …” Toni swallows down the bile that tries to rise up at even the thought of what she’s about to say, of the words she’d already said once before to JARVIS. “I should be there, at SHIELD, dealing with him, them. He’s ... they’re … I should be there.”
“That asshole’s not your responsibility,” Rhodey bites out. “He’s not your anything no matter how many of him there are or when they come from or anything like that. You’re free from him, Toni.”
“The Emancipation Protocol?” Toni asks quietly as the pieces finally start to click together in her head, pieces that are oh so obvious now that the panic has had a chance to run its course and she’s thinking clearer than before. “That’s what that’s about isn’t it? Keeping me away from Howard? But how … why’s there even a plan in place for something like this?”
“The world’s a strange place these days Tones,” Rhodey pulls away from her far enough that they can look one another in the eyes, “and we’ve seen some crazy shit these past couple of years.”
“We really have,” Toni’s laugh is just a bit watery even as she turns her face further into the palm that comes up to gently cup her cheek.
“Gods, monsters, and everything in between.” Rhodey agrees. “We’ve seen so much. Seen enough to know that pretty much anything’s possible. So me, JARVIS, Pepper and Happy, well we decided that if the universe ever managed to spit out some version of Howard we wanted to have a plan in place. So between the four of us we put the EMP together, just in case.”
“Look at you guys,” Toni jokes weakly, “being all efficient and clever without me.”
“Wonders never cease baby girl,” Rhodey snips back. “We all got official jobs too. JARVIS’ and Happy’s jobs were to get you back to the Tower and to be on the watch for any kind of threat. Pepper’ll be descending on SHIELD any minute now with Priscilla and the other lawyers. There’ll be gag orders and NDA’S and whatever else they can make stick. She’s gonna be protecting you, SI, and the Avengers legally and financially. I’d feel sorry for Hill but honestly I don’t like SHIELD, never have.”
“And you?” Toni asks carefully. “What’s your job?”
“Oh baby girl, I got the best job of all. You know why?” Rhodey smiles at her softly, lovingly, even as she shakes her head at his question. “It’s because my job’s always been to get to you. I’m gonna do what I should have done when we were kids Toni. I’m gonna put myself right between you and any version of Howard Stark that comes along and I’m gonna make him think twice about even breathing in your direction.”
It takes all of Toni’s will power not to let the tears she can feel welling up in her eyes from spilling over.
“Toni,” Rhodey runs a thumb over the arch of her cheek with an exquisite kind of tenderness, “I know we never talked about it. Not outright. But I want you to know that he’s never going to hurt you again. I promise.”
In that moment Toni really and truly believes him.
Because it’s Rhodey so of course she does.
~~~
She’s calmer, face composed and emotions back under control, by the time Steve and Bucky get to the penthouse. They both look supremely unsurprised to see Rhodey already there and glued firmly to her side.
Rhodey, for his part, just lounges back in the chair they’re sitting in, one arm around her waist where she’s on his lap while his free hand toys with a few of the curls that’ve escaped her clip. There’s always a sort of tension between the three of them that Toni doesn't understand and Rhodey just laughs off every time she asks him about it.
Toni would say he’s teasing the two of them, is deliberately baiting them, but she can’t completely pin down about what.
“Just get it done Richards,” Toni turns her attention back to the projection of Richards that’s hovering in front of her at the moment.
“Don’t rush me Stark,” Richards huffs back at her, attention distracted as it always is by something off screen. “My instruments and calculations are delicate.”
“It’s not me rushing you that you should be worried about,” Toni warns him almost cheerfully. “My Brucie’s on the way to your building and he’s not nearly as patient as I am on a good day. And today is not a good day.”
Richards goes abruptly pale and Toni takes a vicious sort of satisfaction in wiggling her fingers in his direction and then cutting the call.
“You enjoy torturing that man entirely too much,” Rhodey tells her.
“One of the few small pleasures in my life,” Toni shrugs a bit, completely unrepentant.
“Toni,” Steve looks unsure, hesitant even. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine Cap,” Toni waves his concern off lightly, does her best to smile at him. She doesn’t like to lie to him but she needs the comfort of control, the safety of pretending, in this moment. Even in front of him and Bucky.
Maybe, in some ways, especially in front of the two of them.
If the way Steve’s mouth goes flat and Bucky just stares at her is anything to go by they don’t actually believe her.
But neither of them call her out on the lie either so that … well that means a lot to her as ridiculous as it sounds.
“Sit down you two,” Rhodey waves them towards the couch across from the armchair where they’re sitting. “Looming like that ain’t fixing anything.”
Steve and Bucky automatically move to take a seat and Toni catches the small smirk that Rhodey quickly bites down.
“Richards find a fix yet?” Bucky’s the one who breaks the silence surprisingly enough.
“He says he’s close,” Toni sighs as she leans back against Rhodey’s chest. “Says it’ll be thirty-six hours or so before he can get anything up and running. But with Bruce there my bets on it being more like twenty-four. Richards likes to purposefully overestimate his time restraints.”
“Couldn’t you get it up faster?” Steve asks.
Toni’s more than a bit warmed by the obvious faith he has in her skills.
“Probably,” Toni shrugs. “But Bruce has access to both me and JARVIS so anything I could do there I can do from here just as easily. Plus, like Brucie Bear said, I’m less liable to strangle Richards from here. Or try and steal sweet Suzie Q out from underneath him again. That’s probably the one thing that ever gets his actual attention.”
“Do you …” Steve trails off, seems to gather himself a bit, and then plows forward, “are you going to see either of them? The Howards?”
Beneath her Toni feels the way Rhodey instantly tenses, feels the way his arm squeezes her middle just a bit before he deliberately relaxes it.
“No.” Toni says instantly, easily. “The Howard I grew up with is dead, been dead a long time now. Seeing either of these two … well it’s not going to do me any good.”
Steve looks like he wants to protest for a moment but he seems to remember himself because he blows out a short breath and settles back into the couch, one hand tapping at the shield that’s propped against his left leg.
Beside him Bucky remains silent, remains still. His gaze is heavy on Toni’s face but he keeps his silence as he so often does.
Toni’s grateful.
~~~
It turns out that Toni was right. Bruce calls a few hours later and tells Toni that with JARVIS’ help running a few calculation he and Richards should have portals up and running again in twelve or so hours.
Twelve or so hours and Howard, both of them, will be out of Toni’s life hopefully once and for all.
Toni’s mind whirls.
~~~
“I wish you’d reconsider Miss,” JARVIS’ voice is soft in her ear. “It will not change things, you know this. It is far more likely it was either a fixed point or that a new, alternate time line will now appear once he returns.”
“I know J,” Toni tells him quietly, voice barely a murmur over the sound of her heels tapping against the tile beneath her feet. She’s dressed for war without a hair or fold out of place despite the late hour. “But I have to do this. If there’s even a chance it could help whatever universe he goes back to …”
“I find that I do not care for other universes,” JARVIS confesses gently. “Only this one. Only you.”
“Then maybe this’ll make a difference for some other me,” Toni reasons with him. “Maybe, by doing this, by talking with him, maybe it’ll be what keeps some other Toni from having to live with a Howard like the one I had. I think that’s worth the risk. I think that’s worth a lot of risks J.”
JARVIS is silent in her ear for a long moment.
“I cannot fault you on this line of logic although I find myself displeased with it.” JARVIS finally concedes. “Please be aware that I have control of all of the cameras and I will not hesitate to send the armor for you again should your vitals elevate beyond acceptable measures.”
“Love you too, baby boy,” Toni smiles just a bit even as she turns a corner and catches sight of Natasha lounging by the sealed doorway.
“Where are the others?” Toni asks as she comes abreast with her.
“Pepper scared everyone else off hours ago, including Hill, so I sent Sam and Thor to the cafeteria. Clint’s taking a nap under Fury’s old desk.” Natasha quirks a small smile at her. “I took the night watch, figured you wouldn’t want an audience when you came back.”
“You know me so well Charlotte,” Toni teases softly.
“Not as well as I want,” Natasha tells her with a surprising amount of seriousness, “but I’m trying to fix that.”
“Thank you,” Toni tells her, lets herself soften just a bit. “For staying, for clearing the way for me for a bit. Just … thanks.”
“You are family Зайка,” Natasha tells her gently as she reaches out and tugs teasingly at one of the curls Toni had left to dangle artfully around her face. “There is nothing I would not do for my family. Especially not something so simple as this.”
It’s not simple, not for Toni, but then she knows Natasha know that too.
And that, honestly, makes all of the difference.
~~~
He’s sitting slumped over the table, head in his hands, when she opens the door. He perks up immediately though, familiar and yet foreign eyes raking over her form with open curiosity and not a small bit of appreciation.
The feel of his gaze makes her skin crawl.
Because he might not be the same Howard Toni had grown up under but he has the potential to be.
For Toni that’s enough.
It might be unfair of her, might be wrong and petty, but Toni knows there will never be a permutation of Howard that she finds comforting or appealing in any way.
The ghost of his cruelty, the remembered agony of his fists and feet, will always be too fresh and vivid in her mind for that to ever happen.
“Hello,” Howard smiles at her, circles prominent under his eyes and hair as dark as her own falling rakishly across his forehead. “The future might not be so bad after all if there’s diamonds like you running around.”
He pushes back from the table and stands up, smoothing his hands down the front of his dress shirt in a move that looks second nature.
Toni watches him warily as he comes around the table and stops a little more than an arm’s length away from her.
“I’m Howard, Howard Stark,” he smiles charmingly and holds a hand out in her direction. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss?”
Toni arches a brow, glances down at his outstretched hand, and barely keeps a snarl from unfolding across her expression.
Given the way his brow furrows and his hand slowly drops down at his side there must still be something, some hint of her disdain, left in her expression.
“Sit,” Toni points back towards the seat he’d just been in. To her surprise Howard doesn’t even protest, instead he just walks back over and sits back down.
Toni moves until she’s standing on opposite side of the table from him but she doesn’t sit down. She can’t bring herself to even pretend to be comfortable around this version of Howard, this smaller, somehow lesser version of the monster who haunts her even still.
“You know you’re in the future,” Toni states without bothering to phrase it as a question. Howard was a lot of things but stupid had never been one of them.
“Pretty obvious,” Howard agrees. “Would like to see more of it, maybe ask some questions, but I got scuttled along here quick enough.”
“You’ll be back in your rightful place in a few hours,” Toni tells him, careful not to give away any thoughts on alternate universes or the like.
“That why you’re here now?” He asks. “To get me ready to go home?”
“No,” Toni narrows her eyes at him, “I’m here for something else. Something much more important. A problem only you can … fix.”
“Well I’m all yours darling,” Howard grins, “tell me what the problem is. Fixing things is what I do after all.”
“My name is Natasha Antonia Stark, your biological daughter,” Toni states evenly, coldly. “We need to have a conversation about your future parenting skills.”
The blood abruptly drains from Howard’s face.
~~~
The younger Howard is pale faced and red eyed when Toni leaves him but she can’t bring herself to feel any sympathy for him at all.
She doesn’t have the capacity to hold positive emotions towards Howard of any age or source.
Natasha isn’t there when she steps out into the hall and JARVIS seals the door behind her. Toni’s grateful for that, grateful for the chance to compose herself before she tackles the next hurdle.
Because speaking with the younger Howard was hard, was grating and terrible in its own way.
Speaking to the older, more familiar Howard?
Toni fully expects it to be agonizing.
But pain of any kind has never stopped her before in the past.
She’ll be damned if she gives him the satisfaction of letting him stop her now.
“Once more unto the breach J,” Toni mutters as she moves down the hall and towards the next holding room.
“Stiffen the sinews and summon up the blood,” JARVIS answers. “Let us be as tigers, Miss.”
~~~
This Howard, the older one, looks like something ripped directly from one of Toni’s oldest nightmares. Right down to the thick gold ring on his left pinkie and the faded but still pervasive scent of scotch that hangs around him like a high priced cologne.
Toni keeps her hands loose and open at her sides as she steps into the room, keeps her expression icy when he turns narrowed eyes in her direction.
“Natasha,” Howard frown as he rakes his eyes over her, “about time someone came in here. Even if it is you, girl. Not that keeping me locked up will do anyone any good. I know I’m in the future, no thanks to that bunch of idiots who brought me here.”
“Shut. Up.” The words fall from Toni’s mouth with deceptive softness.
“What did you say to me girl?” Howard snaps in her direction, expression falling into a familiar and hated scowl. His hands slam down on top of the table as he shoves his way up onto his feet in a violent surge.
Toni’s mind goes smooth, goes clear and sharp in that way that it normally only does when she’s in battle.
But then anything dealing with Howard has always been and always will be a type of fight for her.
“Armor is on standby,” JARVIS practically hisses in her ear. “If he lays hands upon you I will be forced to terminate him with extreme prejudice, Miss.”
“Sit down you pathetic old bastard,” Toni sneers at Howard, openly disgusted and dismissive, as she flicks a hand in his direction.
“Girl,” Howard bites the word out threateningly.
Toni has to swallow down bile at the sense memories that abruptly assault her.
“Sit down, Howard,” Toni tells him again, “before I make you sit down.”
“Don’t make me put you in your place Natasha,” Howard starts.
“And where, exactly, is that?” Toni spits the question out like a challenge. “Beneath you?”
Toni laughs, sharp and fake and deliberately mocking. She finally knows right where to hit him. She’s always known really, but now … now she finally has the ammunition and the capabilities to truly fire back.
She bites the laugh off sharply, abruptly, and instead stares him directly in the eyes.
Even from here, even after years without the necessity of reading his moods to survive, she can still spot the anger and the wariness in his eyes easily enough.
“You don’t have a say as to my place anymore Howard,” Toni tells him. “You never really did.”
Howard goes to speak but Toni cuts him off with a sharp gesture of her hand. The way he automatically stops tastes sickly sweet on the back of her tongue.
Finally she has the upper hand.
“I came here to say something to you,” Toni admits, voice even and calm but cold enough to freeze flame itself. “And after I’ve said it I’m going to walk out that door and I’ll never have to see you again. I’ll never even think of you again.”
That’s a lie, Toni knows it is even as she says it, but the words still taste so so sweet on her tongue.
“You’re going to be less than a memory for me and even that’s more than you’ll ever deserve.” Toni tells him with determination.
Expression sour Howard sits back down and waves an impatient hand in her direction. Toni gets the impression that he thinks he’s humoring her.
A part of Toni thinks he should just be grateful she didn’t put a repulsor blast or a bullet through his head.
“You’re a monster,” Toni starts and has the pleasure of seeing Howard tense and glare at her sharply. “I don’t know what made you that way and I, frankly, do not care. You chose to be a monster toward me. You chose that. Not me.”
“Stop your whining, girl,” Howard growls out.
“I want you to know that I took your company, the company I never wanted.” Toni plows on. “I took it and I made billions on my designs, my products. Mine. Not yours. I took SI and I built it to heights you could’ve never dreamed of.”
“That company is my legacy,” Howard interrupts, “you owe that foundation to me.”
“Your legacy was built on blood and death,” Toni snarls, “and I was still better at it than you ever were. You’re a footnote in history Howard. But me? I’m a goddamn book.”
Howard’s face goes ruddy with rage, an alcoholic’s blush painted across his skin.
“I spread SI out across the globe,” Toni knows she’s dangerously close to bragging but she can’t seem to stop herself. “I made it a household name. I lived through you and worse than you and I came out golden on the other side. I’m the Stark in Stark Industries now. I’m the face people think of when they say the name Stark, not you. I built a mechanical wonder the likes of which the world has never seen and I miniaturized the arc reactor.”
Toni takes a sick sort of satisfaction in the way Howard’s face goes pale and slack in rapid succession at that revelation.
There’s one more card though, one more blow that she knows will hurt him above all else.
“We found Steve,” Toni throws the knowledge down between them like a gauntlet. “Captain America’s alive and well and I fight by his side. Me, not you.”
“Steve,” Howard rasps out, something like awe and joy on his face, “how-where was he? Where did I find him?”
“You didn’t,” Toni cuts that hope right out from underneath him. “You’re dead here, have been for years. You never get to see him, didn’t even get close. And if I have my way you never will. You’re dead here and you don’t deserve to even speak his name.”
Howard makes a noise of inarticulate rage but it no longer has the power to phase Toni. She feels lighter already, feels as if some sort of invisible burden has been lifted off of her shoulders..
“I just wanted you to know that,” Toni tells him as she moves back towards the door. “I wanted you to know that you couldn’t beat the soul out of me no matter how hard you tried. In the end, I beat you, you old bastard. I beat you.” Toni pulls the door open and spares Howard one last look. “You’re dead and I haven’t wasted a single second of my life mourning you. You aren’t missed, you aren’t revered. You’re nothing but a quickly fading memory. And now I’m going to forget that as well.”
The chair that crashes against the door a split second after she pulls it closed behind her is like music to her ears.
~~~
Toni walks away from the room at a steady pace, heels clicking against the tiles.
She’s surprised and yet somehow not when she turns the corner and Steve’s there, leaning against the wall, arms folded across over his chest and shield firmly in place on his back.
His eyes are red rimmed.
Toni’s breath catches in her chest.
“How long you been there?” She asks quietly.
“The whole time,” Steve admits. “We followed you as soon as you left.”
“We?” Toni can’t help but question even though she already knows the answer.
“We,” Bucky confirms as he practically melts out of the shadows of the hall. “Rhodes is on the roof too, just so you know.”
“Of course he is,” Toni quirks a small smile. “He’s an overprotective bear but he’s always got my back.”
“We do too,” Steve pushes off the wall and moves a few steps closer to her, expression heartbreakingly earnest. “You know that don’t you Toni? We, me and Buck, the whole team, we’ve all got your back. However, whenever you need us. For anything.”
“You know what I can do, doll,” Bucky’s suddenly closer to her as well, lingering just over her shoulder, the tips of his metal hand coming up to toy with a loose curl in that way he sometimes does when they sit together late at night. When he lets himself open up to her just a bit.
Toni nods because she does know. She knows better than most people exactly what he’s capable of. The good and the bad.
“It’s yours,” Bucky tells her solemnly. “All of it, any of it. Everything I can do is yours if you ever need it.”
Toni’s breath hitches in her chest.
“Same goes for me.” Steve agrees softly. “My shield’s yours Toni. I-I’m yours if you need me. Just … know that. We’re both here for you. No matter what. Okay?”
“Yeah,” Toni rasps, body warm and heart fluttering in her chest.
“Good,” Bucky says lowly and then there’s arms around her waist, one metal and one flesh.
Bucky pulls her into the curve of his body gently, presses her close until her back is plastered to his chest as he drapes himself over her and presses the tip of his nose against her hair. Toni can’t help the small, instinctive shudder that runs through her at the feel of his heat pressed so firmly against her.
In front of her Steve takes a handful of steps closer until he’s looming in front of her. His large, warm hands come up and he cups her face in his palms like she’s something precious and fragile.
Cocooned between the two of them as she is, Toni’s chest feels tight with emotion, with the love and longing that she’s never spoke of to either of them. That’s she’s sure she’ll never tell either of them despite the way it eats away at her each and every day.
“You gave us a home, Toni,” Steve says as he bends down enough to press his forehead against hers. Toni can feel his breath on her lips and it’s enough to make her want to whine in need. “There’s nothing we wouldn’t do to keep it, to keep you, in our lives. Remember that, for the both of us. We’re always going to be here for you. No matter what.”
And Toni does believe him, does believe both of them.
It seems too good to be true but she is so very weak where the both of them are concerned.
But, standing there in a deserted hallway in the middle of SHIELD, Toni finds that maybe she hadn’t really lied to Howard all that much after all.
Because, bracketed by Steve and Bucky’s bodies, safe in their arms with their warmth slowly thawing out the ice in her soul, Howard is little more than a rapidly fading memory.
And that is all that he’ll ever deserve to be.