Chapter Text
Nya couldn’t fall asleep. Jay hadn’t come back to the room they were sharing. Where is he? She needed to talk to him, but she didn’t know what she would say. Sitting up on the bed, Nya sighed. She walked to the door and began quietly making her way out of the trailer.
It was surprisingly not too dark outside, due to the nearly full moon bathing the junkyard in a gentle bluish light. The piles and spires of scrap metal and other various mechanical parts towered over the sand. With the moonlight’s aid they looked even larger than they did in the daytime, due to the illusion of the shadows they cast.
As Nya made her way forward slowly, she felt the sand sliding under her feet, “Jay?” She called quietly.
No response.
What was she doing anyways? If he wanted to talk, he’d have come back to their room, not stay out her. What if he left? Is he already gone? Did I lose him again?
For a few minutes, Nya waited, hoping for the sound of his voice or atleast something. But nothing came. Taking a deep breath Nya turned around and started walking back towards the trailer. As she was about to open the door, she heard a gentle rustle, so quiet that she wasn’t sure if it was real or not. She whipped her head around, looking back out to the junkyard in the hopes of seeing Jay.
Again, there was nothing.
Sighing, Nya made her way back to his room. She settled on the floor next to the bed and let the tears come, not caring if
Jay was curled under the table where he and Nya had been working earlier, trying to think. It wasn’t that easy, as both halves of his mind were battling with each each other. They had been like this for weeks, but it was especially bad now.
Jay knew that Nya wouldn’t hurt him. He did trust her. But even though he knew that, he was still so scared. He had trusted others and all they’d done is hurt him. The logical part of his mind knew that it was fine, but the instinctive part was like a cornered cat, lashing out and running away.
Before, even though he hadn’t been able to hide his feelings from himself, he could from her, but now… It was so incredibly obvious. He just didn’t know what to do.
Then there was the matter of Jay’s shattered soul. He longed to be a better person when he was with her, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still broken. Why would someone ever want to be with him now? He was so far gone. Any remnants of pre merge Jay were surely all turned sour and rotten.
He’d had this mental conversation millions of times in the past few weeks, it felt like he was just running in circles.
“Jay?”
He stiffened, that was Nya’s voice. He dared not to look and see where she was, for fear of revealing himself. Half of him wanted her to leave and half of him hoped that she’d come over to him, she always knew how to make him feel loved.
As she lingered, Jay become more and more desperate to see her, maybe just catching a glance would help him figure out everything. He heard the soft sound of her footsteps retreating. Leaning forward, he saw her standing at the trailer, about to open the door. Jay shifted, making a small rustling sound. He immediately jumped back into hiding, not daring to check if she’d heard or not.
After another moment, the sound of a door clicking was heard and the night was still again.
Why does being in love have to be so hard?
Well, Jay conceded to himself, it’s a lot harder when I make it much more complicated than it needs to be.
He stood up, Maybe I should go and talk to her. Or maybe I should stay out here. Maybe I should ask Ed? Or Edna? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
Jay caught sight of the metal wingsuit, shining slightly in the moonlight.
That was it! He should finish fixing it and then he could go… fly around? He wasn’t sure exactly what to do after, but it was the most solid idea he had right now.
As Jay was about to leave, a hand landed on his shoulder. He yelped and jumped back, snatching one of his lightning daggers and holding it out.
“Where are you going?” Edna asked.
“Err… out.” Jay replied nervously. “Don’t try to stop me!”
She shook her head, looking disappointed, “I’m not going to, but I need to tell you something first.”
“What?”
“Get your act together.” Setting her hands on his shoulder again, she shook them roughly, “Can’t ‘cha see what yer doing to Nya? To yer yang?” He opened his mouth to protest and she shushed him, “And don’t go saying that ‘cha don’t love her, I’ve seen the way you look at her and the way you try to do small, nice things for her and hope no one notices. I also know ya, Jay. I know how you act when yer in love.”
“So, why-“
“I’m speaking, please hold yer tongue. I know yer scared, and I know that people hurt you after the merge, but I also know that Nya would do anything to protect you. For Source’s sake, she turned into the sea to stop you from dying.” Edna looked back up at him, “You two have been through so much together, and ya both need as much comfort as possible. When you keep switching from being affectionate to pretending you don’t care, it hurts Nya. That girl is strong, but I can see that she’s at her breaking point. If you don’t decide where yer heart lies soon enough, she’ll eventually come to believe that yer a lost cause and that she should stop putting herself through heartbreak over and over again to try and help you.”
“… I’m sorry, she turned into the sea?” Jay asked.
“That’s not important right now.”
Jay hardly saw how becoming the ocean wasn’t important, but he nodded.
“I’m wont stop ya from leaving, but if you don’t come back by tonight with a decision made, I’ll drag you, kicking and screaming.” She gave him a firm look, “Yer so busy being scared of getting hurt that you can’t see how much you’ve been hurting her.
“I-I… I need to think.”
“Go,” she responded, “But ‘cha better come back.”
The wind whipped his face as the he flew through the desert. He was flying aimlessly, his heart was tethered elsewhere and Jay foolishly hoped that the feeling of being physically weightless would eleviate the ongoing battle in his heart. He knew that it wouldn’t work, but he was a coward. He just ran away from his problems instead of trying to face the biggest enemy he had ever known.
It wasn’t The Administrator, it wasn’t Nya, it wasn’t even Ras. It was himself.
Every single day he woke up wondering who the hell Jay Walker was. What had his life really been like? What did he do for a living? What was his personality like? And most importantly, what had he done to deserve this?
Post merge Jay had don’t plenty of horrible acts, whether on a personal or wide scale level, he’d hurt many people. Imprisoning, threatening with physical violence, acting with physical violence, kidnapping, so on and so forth. It was strange how he could do all of theses things while simultaneously having all of them done to him to. Hurt people hurt people.
Anyways, Jay wouldn’t deny that he wasn’t a good person now, but what about before? If he’d really been a ninja, which he desperately wanted to believe, why had the world decided to screw him over? Could it really be as sinple as “bad luck”? Surely he must’ve done something to earn this cruel punishment.
And why in the world did she still love him? Edna was right, when would she reach her breaking point and loose hope in him? Sure, she was a stubborn woman, but after everything, she was sure to give up eventually.
Jay blamed the tears in his eyes on the wind, and nothing else.
While he was flying, he spotted a building in the distance and approached it curiously. Something to distract him would be good right now.
As he got closer, he recognized the tile roofing and familiar shape of the monastery. “The monastery?” Jay muttered, confused. That didn’t make any sense; the monastery was on a sort of small, grassy mesa, not in the middle of a desert. And it wasn’t grey either.
Swooping closer, Jay noted that it look ed decrepit and unused, with walls falling apart and roofs caved in on themselves. When he landed, and poof of dust and sand rose, making Jay cough quickly. “This isn’t the monastary, so what the hell is it?”
He ran his hand along the metal dragon in the fountain, it was certainly real, not just a figment of his imagination. Suddenly, he remembered when he had first come to the monastery with the ninja, they had gone through a monastary similar to theirs and had used the gate to return home. In fact, it had looked exactly like this one. He and Nya were in the First Realm.
“Holy shit,” he whispered, “We’re finally going home.”
Home… Is that really my home? It’s not like I have much else. Cole is nice and Kai seems like he’d make for an interesting (albeit sometimes annoying) friend. Maybe I really could form bonds with them. I could learn to make it my home. I would be safe there. I would be loved.
If there’s anything that Jay had learned from his journey over the past weeks, it was that feeling loved was one of life’s treasures. Ed and Edna had been so patient and kind to him, understanding his emotions and being there to support him, regardless of his treatment of them, and it touched his heart. They truly were great parents. It was hard to think they could be anything other than his parents once he’d gotten to know them.
And of course, there was Nya. From the first time he met her, it was clear she was strong. Physically, sure, but emotionally even more. She loved him so much, caring for him whenever he got hurt (which happened quite a lot more than Jay preferred), trying her best to be understanding with him, and always offering to talk. She wasn’t a pushover though, when Jay gave her shit, she retaliated, she had made it abundantly clear that he couldn’t mistreat her. But everything she’d done for him, it wasn’t an act. It couldn’t be. No one could fake the obvious, aching love she had for him.
“Fuck, I’m so stupid.”
This had gone on for way too much time now. Jay couldn’t go any longer without telling her, his heart would burst. He also couldn’t let her wonder any longer. Again, Jay was reminded of Edna’s words, he was hurting the person who he loved most.
He set off back towards the junkyard, flying at full speed. Anything could happen in a few hours, what if she got hurt before he could say anything? Why had he ever waited this long? And why had he run away yet again? It was so stupid.
Focus, Jay thought, Nothing bad is going to happen, she will be fine. Just keep going.
The junkyard was in sight.
Everything was okay.
Jay soared over it and spotted exactly who he was looking for, standing in the sand, now staring up at him.
He swooped down on the ground towards her using his momentum to skid close to Nya. Wrapping her arms around her waist, he hugged her tightly, whispering, “I’m so sorry for everything! I put you through so much, and you’ve always been here for me. I’ve hurt you, yet you still care for me.”
“J-Jay!” She exclaimed, shocked. “You- You’re sorry?”
“For everything.” He said, his voice muffled since it was buried in her shoulder, “For the things I said at the tournament. For the way I’ve been ungrateful to you. For everything I’ve said to you. I’m so sorry for hurting you.” As he looked up at her, and her face softened, “Is it still possible for you to love me?”
She let out a surprised laugh, tears welling in her eyes, “Of course! I will always love you!”
Reassured, in one swift motion, Jay intertwined his hand hand with hers, spun her around, and dipped her into a kiss. She let out a surprised squeak then, followed his lead, leaning into him. After a few moments, Jay pulled back an inch,
“Fuck Nya, I love you so much.” He whispered shakily, panting.
“I love you too, more than you could possibly imagine.” Nya replied, tugging him back. The intensity of the kiss took him off guard; her tongue ran throughout his mouth and she pushed her lips hard into his own, as if trying to get as close to him as physically possible. She’d been waiting so long for this.
“Oh my, this is a bit scandalous, don’t ‘cha two think?”
Letting out a surprised grunt, Jay pulled away and whipped his head towards his left, spotting Ed and Edna. They were standing at the entrance of the trailer, their faces containing a mixture of surprise and amusement.
“Don’t embarrass ‘em, Edna.” Ed scolded lightly, “They’re young and in love.”
She nodded, but said, “Oh, I know, but they don’t have to do it right in front of us.”
Jay felt his face heating up quickly, “You don’t have to be here, you can leave!”
“Don’t give me attitude, young man.”
Jay turned to Nya and she shook her head, smiling and half rolling her eyes, “Sorry.” She pulled herself out of the dip and stood up straight beside her yang, “I guess we got lost in the moment.”
“I’m glad to see that ‘cha took what I said to heart.” Edna said.
“What?” Nya asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” she waved her hand dismissively, “We’ll leave ya two be now.” She closed the door of the trailer, giving them one last, amused glance.
“What did she say to you?” Nya repeated, curious.
“Just some advice…”
“That’s very vague.”
“Oh!” Jay jumped suddenly, “I just remembered, I found a monastary while I was out, if it works as well as the other ones, we can finally go home.”
“Home…” Muttered Nya, “You believe that it’s your home now?”
“Yes,” Jay smiled, “I know now that you’d never lie to me, I trust you.”
“Huh,” she grunted, “Were really going home.”
He pressed a kiss to her lips, much more gentle than the previous ones, murmuring, “I love you Nya, and I promise I’ll never forget that ever again.”
*bonus*
(After Jay and Nya come back to the monastary)
“I just wanna know what the hell happened to them while they were gone,” Kai muttered to Cole and Lloyd, “Jay can’t stop at her lips and it’s making me uncomfortable.”
“Are you sure you want to ask that question?” Cole said, “Nya might go into way too much detail.”
“Ew!” Both Kai and Lloyd shouted. Kai disgusted because Nya was his sister, and Lloyd partially that, but also, he was still mentally much younger than the others and he tended to be easily freaked out by certain topics.
“Okay,” Kai said, standing up, “I’m gonna go tell them to get a room before they traumatize another generation of ninja.”