Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng knows that he’s dreaming again because he's been taken back to his childhood home of seventeen years. He recognizes the lake house in a heartbeat.

The gentle laps of the lake’s languid waves surround him, cascading over his bare ankles and attracting lotus flowers to drift towards them. The blossoms of vibrant pink drift over the surface, glowing with the sun and dancing with the summer breeze. 

Looking down, chin to chest, Jiang Cheng’s wriggling toes greet him from the goop of cold mud attempting to swallow his small feet. He aimlessly totters back and forth with the lake’s pull, waiting.  

A bunch of lotus flowers and green pods hide behind his back. He's been clutching onto them for a while now, restlessly peering around what is essentially his backyard—lake, forest, and pier included.

In the distance, Jiang Cheng finally spots what he has been waiting for after what feels like forever to a five-year-old. He immediately springs forward, not minding the bits of mud that he kicks up in his wake; he only screeches to a stop when he notes that his guests are all dressed in pristine robes of white with not a speck in sight. 

Two boys stand before him. Jiang Cheng becomes conscientious, sticking out like a lone flower in a field of grass. His A-Niáng had made sure that he wore a set of summer purple robes after tailoring the length to prevent it from being dirtied while he played. It would be bad for him to appear messy in front of others.  

Soon, his two guests come near, and Jiang Cheng tried to muster his best smile in greeting. He offers his hand out like he has been taught, and a warm handshake meets him. Even though he cannot see it clearly, as if his eyes are foggy, he knows that his smile is returned. His hand remains held by a slightly bigger hand.  

With their fingers tightly linked, Jiang Cheng begins to lead them back towards the lake to play. When he excitedly looks over his shoulder, he notices that his new companions aren’t dressed in a true white; it only appears so in the sunshine. He spies patterns of light blue waves and clouds, alike to the ocean meeting the sky.  

When he happens to peer around the boy he holds hands with, a pair of timid eyes stare back at him. There is a younger boy who looks similar to the tallest of the three boys, only that he wears a somnolent expression. While holding fast to the sleeve of his xiōng-zhǎng, he appears particularly averse to dirtying his robes with his careful steps, reminding Jiang Cheng of the way his elegant A-Jiě walks. 

Jiang Cheng steers them to his A-Niang’s pavilion. There, they can admire the beautiful waves of lotus flowers gently floating over the surface of the lake from a raised view away from the shallows of mud. He hands the lotus flowers within his grasp to the first boy, who accepts the gift with a sunny smile.  

With their shared excitement making up the air, they hop up the wooden steps and line up along the wooden railing to peer across the lake with round eyes. Becoming absorbed in the view is a familiar task, but a familiar call has Jiang Cheng looking away.  

It's his mother, approaching with swift strides and a flurry of violet layers of cloth. She yells at him from over the breeze, calling her back to her side.  

Jiang Cheng sucks in his lip, reluctant, but when he turns back to face his friends, his hand has already been released to drop limply to his side. 

He looks up, searching, but that sunny smile is not there anymore. He turns around again, spinning, but his A-Niáng has disappeared, too. 

The floor beneath his feet vanishes just as abruptly, plunging him into murky depths. His clothes are bogged down by an endless pool of mud, dragged down until not a glimpse of light can be seen.

He thrashes, kicks his feet, but it only makes it worse, flipping him upside down. Panic sets in and he means to call for help. From his A-Niáng, his A-Jiě, or even Huan-gege but they’ve already left him behind and he's desperately alone— 

Jiang Cheng wakes up with a start and a sharp inhale.  

For a terrifying moment, all he sees is black. His first thought is that he's been dragged back to his family again. To that prison—that room. A race of panic rattles through his chest.

But he left.

He left, and he's safe. Jiang Cheng desperately wills himself to believe it.

His family aren’t supposed to be able to reach him anymore. He’s not trapped in that room anymore. Because Lan Huan—

Safe. He's safe. He's home.

Jiang Cheng manages to release the tight exhale caught in his throat and sags, feeling so out of breath. He's staring up at the ceiling of Lan Huan's bedroom, he recognizes.

He manages to whisper into the cool air, “Lan Huan?”

Except his voice fails to leave his mouth, and he doesn't hear the reassuring cadence of the Alpha's voice. Jiang Cheng turns his head to search for him; he fell asleep in his arms, so he had to be close by.

Or at least, he means to turn his head. But he can't. He can't lift his head from the pillow. He can't turn his head.

He's frozen.

His eyes flared wide in the darkness of Lan Huan's bedroom, Jiang Cheng catches movement in the corner of his peripheral vision. The bedroom door. It's burst open. He feels the rush of cool air against the side of his pale face from it swinging towards him. From a figure approaching his prone form on the bed. A figure that he would recognize anywhere.

Jiang Cheng trembles in place. He still can't move.

Why can't he move? He's awake. He isn't dreaming anymore. He's in Lan Huan's room.

His mother is stalking right towards him, and he can't move an inch.

"A-Cheng!" she snarls, her anger filling the room. Her voice whips out at his skin like a blade. "What are you doing? Laying in an Alpha's bed? Have you forgotten that even after eloping with that man, abandoning your only family, you remain unwed?"

She spits the word with disgust. Jiang Cheng feels himself flinch from where he cowers beneath her vehement stare.

She's hovering over him, and all he can do is stare up at her in horror.

His mother isn't supposed to be here. Not in the sanctuary of Lan Huan's home.

And—he's not supposed to be here, either. He shouldn't be here. He's got everything confused.

He should be with his family where they can keep him safe.

"He hasn't wed you, hasn't marked you, but you sleep in his bed? You lie, you run away, and you defile yourself! You've wasted your entire life away, and for what? An Alpha who doesn't even want you enough to mark what's his!"

"N-no," Jiang Cheng manages to choke out. He doesn't want to listen to this. He already hears it in his head every day.

But his mother doesn't hear his desperation.

She never does.

"If he hasn't marked you by now, he never will! What Alpha wouldn't?" Yu Ziyuan scoffs. "Even your father had the sense to—"

"No!" Jiang Cheng interrupts.

No, he doesn't want to hear what his father did, what his father thinks. He doesn't—

His mother yanks down the collar of her gown to expose the scarred over wound of her mark. Her mark is mangled, violent. It looks painful. Jiang Cheng can't look away. Right before his eyes, it bleeds from the red indentation of teeth and the bruising around his mother's neck begins to spread. As if his father used more than just his teeth to bind his mother to him.

Jiang Cheng's vision blurs. The bleed of red remains stark. He wants to turn away from the sight of the mating bite, to run, but he can't. His body won't move no matter how much he wills it to.

All he does is tremble in place, paralyzed by fear and guilt.

"Compared to that Alpha of yours, your father—"

"No!" Jiang Cheng gasps. Indignation cuts through his shock. The two Alpha aren't comparable at all. He's never met two Alpha so different in his entire life. What his mother is saying is—he has to reject it. It can't be true. Lan Huan would never harm him. "No—"

"Listen to me, you stupid boy! Listen," she urges, leaning in. Looming close so that he can't tear away. "You don't want to end up like me, do you?" Yu Ziyuan suddenly asks. Before Jiang Cheng can respond, she sneers, "You don't want to end up bound to an Alpha that doesn't want you for the rest of your life."

The air is ripped out of Jiang Cheng's lungs as if he's been sucker punched by the image that enters his mind. He's brought back to his mother's favourite pavilion in their lakeside home, surrounded by the beauty of the waves of blooming lotus flowers. But it's the cold, incurable loneliness in his mother's eyes and the frigid stature of a scorned woman that stays with him.

He remembers the hours she would spend on that pavilion on a daily basis when he was growing up. He'd thought that she was simply watching over the safety of her child as he played.

Only decades later does Jiang Cheng recognize the isolation of that wooden island, because for all of the years they lived there, not once had his father joined her.

"Look at how you've turned out, A-Cheng!" Yu Ziyuan continues to warn. "What Alpha would want you as you are? Useless, selfish, weak—"

Jiang Cheng trembles. He is selfish, he knows that. But he's not useless. Not completely. Not yet.

"Disloyal—"

"No," Jiang Cheng whimpers. That's the one thing he knows he's not.

"Disgusting and filthy—"

He's not filthy! Wen Xu didn't manage to—

"Wanyin!"

"You're a filthy wh—"

"No, no!"

Jiang Cheng screams as loud as he can, finally flinging his arms around his head, blocking his ears. His hands scramble to cover the back of his nape. He can't look any longer. He can't listen to those accusations for a second more. He can't, not when he's heard them for years on end.

"No," he moans in anguish. His ears detect a muffled voice from nearby. When will it end?

The horrific sight of his mother's bleeding mark stays with him. It's hell. He needs it all to stop.

He just wants a little bit of peace. Just a little.

Doesn't he deserve at least that much?

"No, no…"

A hand grabs hold of his wrist. His voice twists with panic, a wordless shout.

Jiang Cheng hisses in pain when his knees hit the floor from flinging himself off the edge of the bed. Tangled in the sheets, it's a frantic struggle to free his hands to push himself upright. Because his mother is still—

"Wanyin, stop! It's just me. A bad dream—"

Choking on air, Jiang Cheng lands on his back and whips his head around to find his mother. He can still hear her voice in his head. She was towering above him just a second ago. Where—?

There's an Alpha nearby, that voice alerts him. Not safe. Run. You have to leave!

Shaking terribly from the adrenaline, Jiang Cheng hurries to shoot off the floor, only for it to tilt sideways beneath him. Fuck. He can't breathe. The room is going all fuzzy again, making it so hard to see straight in the dark.

He startles when a face fills his entire vision. He seizes so badly that all of the air left in his lungs rushes out. "Get away!" Jiang Cheng hoarsely rasps.

"Wanyin, stop. I don't want to—you have to breathe. Breathe, Wanyin," the Alpha is urging him, drawing closer. Moving too fast. Jiang Cheng can't evade him. "Shh, you're okay…"

Jiang Cheng barely hears it. All he sees is the hand moving towards him, and an involuntary whine escapes the back of his throat, his instincts waking when he can't think through the fear to convince the Alpha to yield.

Through the overwhelming scent that means to suppress his agitation and fear, to calm him, a spike of confusion reaches his nose. The hand freezes in the air before his face.

It gives Jiang Cheng enough time to slump backwards and away, his shoulder blades meeting the wall behind him. He's wedged himself in the gap between the bed and the bedside table. Through the rapid jack-hammering of his heart, he knows that it's the best protection he can get to keep his nape from being exposed to the Alpha.

But the Alpha remains, not yet repulsed enough by his cowering. Despite his trembling, Jiang Cheng gears himself to defend. He's done it once before, he can do it again.

"J-just fuck off…! G-go away," he manages.

He won't be brutally marked like his mother was—

"Wanyin," the Alpha calls again, from farther away this time. His voice is softer, too, a low croon that beckons. It manages to reach him despite the panic still wrecking through his system. "My love, I'm sorry for startling you… You know that I'm not going to hurt you, don't you?"

Jiang Cheng, from where he's curled up with his knees crushed against his chest, begins to peek at the Alpha in the room…in the room where he's supposed to be safe.

He's only ever had one Alpha apologize to him before and truly mean it.

"I would never hurt you, Wanyin. Never," the Alpha swears to him, and he sounds pained, now. Like he never thought he would have to say those words to Jiang Cheng. "I won't ever do anything you don't want me to, but I… I want to be here for you when you're ready. Is that okay?"

The Alpha's promise lingering in the air, Jiang Cheng tentatively loosens his grip around his knees to wipe at his eyes. His hand comes away wet. He doesn't remember when he started crying, but a telltale burn to his eyes confirms it, as does the thick feeling in his throat. He finally lifts his forehead from the tops of his knees, and his vision immediately blurs again.

Lan Huan is kneeling on the ground a good couple of feet away, looking utterly heartbroken as he watches him start to cry anew. A sad noise leaves him, involuntarily, his hands tightly clenched as if to resist the urge to pull Jiang Cheng into his arms like he craves to. Wanting to soothe him but wary of approaching again.

God, Jiang Cheng wants to kick himself for making the Alpha—his Alpha—look like that. How could he? How could he not recognize the safety Lan Huan has always offered him from the very start? Is he truly such a messed up Omega that he can’t recognize Lan Huan's scent? His touch?

He's so messed up that he doesn't even know where to start. He does know that he doesn't deserve an Alpha like Lan Huan, but—

"Oh, sweetheart," Lan Huan mournfully sighs, "I'm so sorry. I wish I could…" He trails off uncertainly before sighing again. "Should I leave? Do you want me to—"

"No," Jiang Cheng croaks out, his voice almost drowned out by his uncontrollable sobbing. He doesn't want to push Lan Huan away again. He promised he wouldn't do that again. "Don't, Lan Huan…"

He doesn't want his Alpha to leave him, not after everything they went through to be together. It would break him even more than how broken he already is.

Jiang Cheng is hugging himself into a tight ball again when he hears the other male shuffling forwards, answering his unspoken request.

"Alright, Wanyin, I'm here," Lan Huan reassures in a soft voice.

He's within reach, now, and Jiang Cheng no longer recoils in fear from the Alpha's proximity. Not when it has fully registered in his body and soul that this is his Alpha calling to him. Asking him for permission. To comfort him.

"My love, may I…?"

Unable to stay away from him a second longer, Jiang Cheng throws himself into Lan Huan's arms, sobbing in relief once he's caught and pulled impossibly close to the Alpha's chest.

Jiang Cheng hates that his emotions are on full display for anyone to see right now, but if he were to choose, he would want it to be Lan Huan. He's been shown enough times by now to believe that rather than rejecting him, Lan Huan would only draw him closer in response.

And he does. Every time. Lan Huan wraps him up so completely within his arms that when Jiang Cheng allows himself to close his eyes, the Alpha's scent fills him while the steady rhythm of his heart beats in his ears. It's a desperately needed reprieve. Jiang Cheng can finally breathe again, reminded that he's safe. He always has been, when Lan Huan never left his side to begin with.

He keeps getting dragged into these dark spirals, and he hates it. Hates how he can never contain his distress anymore. It keeps spilling out between his fingers before he knows it. It never used to get this bad, and Jiang Cheng wonders if he can ever make it stop.

"Lan Huan…"

The Alpha within his clutches perks up from the sound of his faint call. As if he had already contented himself with the likelihood that Jiang Cheng wouldn't be in a talkative mood after such a terrible round. "Yes, sweetheart?" he asks.

"I'm sorry," he blurts out before his throat can clam up again. "I keep freaking out and I…"

Lan Huan shakes his head and squeezes him impossibly closer. "You don't have to apologize for that, Wanyin. It's not your fault," he reassures.

"But don't you ever…"

Jiang Cheng trails off before he can finish the question that wormed its way through the dream to the forefront of his mind. He tries to shake it away. He already knows the answer to it. Asking it would only make it seem like he doesn't. Like the illusion of his mother would claim.

He doesn't backtrack fast enough. "What is it?" Lan Huan asks again, starting to pull back to look at him.

"No, never mind," Jiang Cheng quickly mutters. He dives forwards before the Alpha can escape his grasp, practically headbutting him in the process. Lan Huan moves with the momentum, leaning back against the side of the bed while supporting Jiang Cheng's weight.

"Wanyin, you can talk to me," he gently encourages. "About the dream, or about anything that’s worrying you… It might help."

He doesn't think Lan Huan is wrong about that. That's not why Jiang Cheng remains silent.

It speaks to Lan Huan's concern that he doesn't relent like he usually does. "It must have been more troubling than the other dreams you've been having upset you so greatly, darling. If we work through it together, it might help…"

Jiang Cheng tries to suppress his sigh. How did he ever manage to nab such a caring, sweet Alpha? "I'm just so messed up," he whispers, his voice so quiet. Wishing that Lan Huan won't actually hear him admit it.

Instead of telling him how wrong he is, Lan Huan softly asks, "What happened?"

He bites his lip. It takes much too long for Jiang Cheng to gather his voice again. "It's…things that my mother has said."

He watches as Lan Huan’s eyes widen before he takes a slow breath. It's like he’s forcing himself to relax before he responds, his tone neutral. "Oh…? And what was that?"

Repeating her words won't do them any good, he knows. It's not like Jiang Cheng truly believes the vitriol his mother spills when it comes to him being with Alpha she doesn't approve of. But it's like black tar that refuses to be scraped off of his skin. Leaving him feel...tarnished. Dirty.

Like he shouldn't be honest about what's always going through his head.

Even though he knows that Lan Huan would want him to tell him. Even though Jiang Cheng knows he should, no matter how foreign and uncomfortable just the thought of it makes him feel.

He swallows thickly, trying to clear his throat. It still feels tacky from sleep, but it's now or never. And right now, Lan Huan isn't tired of all of his issues. He's still willing to be patient with Jiang Cheng, no matter how infuriating it must be to watch him slide backwards after however long he's been trying to move forward. Away from his family.

"Just… Have you ever doubted your decision about being with me?" Jiang Cheng finally blurts out. Before Lan Huan can immediately reject such a thing, like he knows he wants to, he barrels on. "You've seen how fucked up I am. I can't get through even a couple of days without having a breakdown.

"I've brought nothing but complications in your life—the charges against that Wen dog, this drama with my family, even this damned mess of dealing with my hand—and you already have more than enough on your plate. I know what you're going to say, but you have to admit that your life could be so much easier without me—"

"No, Wanyin," Lan Huan firmly interrupts. His eyes are ablaze when he states, "I have never doubted choosing you, not once. And you don't know what I'm going to say, because you're wrong."

"What?"

"You're wrong," Lan Huan repeats, before taking his hand in his. "My love, you have brought me so much in my life—so much more than what you just mentioned, and I cherish every bit of it. Even the hard times, even this moment, and especially all of our happy moments with each other," he says with a smile, squeezing Jiang Cheng's hand.

"Everything we go through together only brings us closer, and I would never trade that for anything else in the world. Never, Wanyin. The answer is never. I will never doubt what we have together," Lan Huan swears.

Jiang Cheng doesn't know when his eyes started to gloss over with unshed tears. "Really?" he can't help but ask, voice painfully hoarse.

It's not that he doubts Lan Huan. He doesn't doubt him.

He only doubts whether he's worthy of how much Lan Huan believes in him. 

Thankfully, like always, Lan Huan doesn't take offense. Instead of answering the question, not stating what he finds to be obvious, he asks, "Do you doubt your decision to be with me, Wanyin?"

"Of course not," Jiang Cheng says without hesitation. Then he sees the smile the Alpha wears and how sweet his gaze is. "I only... I just..."

He should just say it. He knows that. But admitting it out loud to someone else is something else. Because he cares about what Lan Huan thinks.

And Lan Huan hasn't given him his mark yet, as his mother would remind him.

For good reason, most likely. Being together and being...in love...is one thing, but a mark lasts for their entire lifetimes. They're permanent, while Jiang Cheng can hardly keep it together at any given moment. 

"Wanyin," Lan Huan gently calls, interrupting yet another spiral. Jiang Cheng guiltily lifts his head; the least he can do is look his lover in the eyes. "You're going through a hard time right now. It's more than understandable that you are. You were attacked in a place where you were supposed to be safe, and your family..." The other man struggles for a moment to put into words how Jiang Cheng's family had reacted to the disaster of that night with Wen Xu and the events thereafter.

"Your family handled it poorly and treated you incredibly unfairly when they should be the ones you can trust. Especially when you're having a hard time, rather than the opposite," Lan Huan sighs. His brow furrows, his eyes filled with remorse when he says, "And I am so sorry for that, Wanyin. Truly."

Jiang Cheng stares at him in confusion. "Why?"

"My love, I wish I could protect you from the world," Lan Huan murmurs. "I wish I could make it so that nothing could ever hurt you, so that you never have to feel afraid in your own home ever again."

Jiang Cheng goes still for several long seconds before he manages to shake his head. "You can't do that, Lan Huan, no one can… I don't want that from you," he says, sniffling all the while. He's the one who needs to pull himself together and stop breaking down over everything. "It's not even that..."

"What, Wanyin?" Lan Huan asks when he hesitates. He sounds a touch helpless when he asks, "What can I do to help you?"

Feeling like tons of weight have settled across his shoulders, Jiang Cheng warily allows himself to sag into the Alpha's embrace, tucking his face into the corner of his shoulder. He clutches onto him a little tighter as he carefully says, "As long as I know you'll still be here when I pull through these…episodes…I'll be okay, Lan Huan. I think I'll be okay," he says again, reaffirming to himself that he made a promise to get better.

No matter what he's going through, he will never allow himself to break his promises to his loved ones.

His mother doesn't know him as he is now, he reminds himself. None of his family really do.

If they did, they never would have locked him in a room for weeks as if he's already been deemed incapable of doing anything with his life.

It's only because of Lan Huan and Nie Huaisang continuing to believe in him that Jiang Cheng had managed to climb his way out of his hole of despair.

The least he can do in return is honour his promise to them. To not hide away and to not give up on himself.

"Of course I'll be here for you, Wanyin," Lan Huan earnestly promises, holding him impossibly tight, as if to impress his words into his skin. To make it doubly clear, he presses a kiss to the corner of Jiang Cheng's temple. "I always will. I promise."

Nodding, relaxing further into the embrace, Jiang Cheng softly murmurs, "I know, Lan Huan. Thank you."

One day, he wants to be able to confidently swear to Lan Huan that he will always be there for him, too. He knows that he might not be there yet, but Jiang Cheng also knows that he works best when he has a goal in mind.

As long as he has a goal, a promise to keep, he can't doubt himself. No longer.

Things get better.

Sleep comes easier when Jiang Cheng can burrow in the safety of Lan Huan's scent. It's not enough to keep the nightmares away, but he doubts anything could. Whenever he jolts awake from one, he opens his eyes to his Alpha already holding him close, rubbing soothing patterns into his skin.

After a reminder that he's always willing to listen should Jiang Cheng need it, Lan Huan never tries to pry about the dreams that leave the Omega pale and shaking in his arms. Instead, he will hum into his ear and guide him to slow his breathing until it matches his steady pace.

Night after night, Jiang Cheng tries to be patient. He's been haunted by unwanted thoughts and dreams for years now. He knows that they won't be dispelled so easily, no matter how safe of an environment he resides in.

It's just that he isn't used to not being able to tell who voices those thoughts in his head. Is it his mother's voice, like it usually is?

Or is it his own voice?

Has his family finally gotten so deep in his head that he sounds like them now?

Jiang Cheng tells himself that they haven't. He got away from them. He's left them.

He's started eating again. Three meals a day is not so painful when Lan Huan and Nie Huaisang make it a rule to sit with him at the dining table. Their familiar voices trading back and forth in easy conversation provide a reliable distraction from the internal distress Jiang Cheng still faces whenever plates of food are placed before him.

It gets easier. Putting his family behind him no longer cripples him with paralyzing guilt. Thoughts of them no longer dominate his days. They're getting quieter, easier to ignore.

Perfect isn't a goal. Nie Huaisang might throw around the word perfectionist all he likes, but perfect hasn't been a goal since he presented. He only wants to be someone he can tolerate, tired of bludgeoning himself at every corner.

Jiang Cheng has enough of that grief to contend with in his dreams every night. He can't deal with it during every waking moment, too, not when he can't afford his cracks showing in front of his loved ones. They worry about him enough as is.

When he wants time by himself, Jiang Cheng has surprisingly found himself in Lan Huan's art studio more often than not. The rising lawyer has kept it unoccupied, he's continued to notice, while the corner room with floor to ceiling windows never fails to attract Jiang Cheng inside.

More than the view, he has a renewed interest in the numerous canvases of artwork Lan Huan has left behind, many of them covered by linen to protect them from sunlight. A couple of months ago, Jiang Cheng had made a note to work his way though the studio with a duster in hand.

Ever since he returned to Lan Huan and his home, Jiang Cheng has felt listless, unable to focus on what little he's attempted. Though he's no longer restricted to one room like he was for nearly a month, he's hardly felt the desire nor energy to do much at all for the past few days. What's more, with Lan Huan and Nie Huaisang always nearby, they've made sure to tell him off for using his injured hand, hindering his tasks further.

But Jiang Cheng hates being useless, and it's only grows worse the longer he idles.

With the hope of not being interrupted again, he decides to tackle the task of cleaning Lan Huan's studio again. Jiang Cheng welcomes the distraction of the variety of paintings he finds himself gazing at, taking him away from his tormenting thoughts.

Going through the studio takes longer than he expected, but maybe that's exactly what he needs. His body protests the effort of taking the swafts of linen onto the balcony to air out, but Jiang Cheng does it anyway, trying not to think about how much muscle he's lost over the years—and especially over the past month of lying in bed.

He can't continue the way things have been. He doesn't have to anymore. He's already left his family, and their expectations of him as well, he reminds himself.

Jiang Cheng idly wonders if Lan Huan left behind his love of creating art and music for the expectations of his family to pursue law. He's seen how passionate he is about bringing fairness about the world, but he still has to wonder what else motivates the lawyer.

It feels like too much of a shame for all of Lan Huan's artwork to be left in a single room with no one to admire them. There's enough of them to fill an exhibition hall, Jiang Cheng is certain, and they're more than worthy in his eyes.

When he has to take a break from cleaning, Jiang Cheng drags a chair into the empty space of the studio to prop up one of Lan Huan's paintings for his personal viewing. He hadn't forgotten the painting of lotus flowers that he found before and is quick to relocate it. Though he is surprised to find a collection of canvases that are filled with lotus flowers, rather than just one.

With his dream from that morning still lingering in his mind and the paintings right before him, an inkling of a memory starts to resurface in Jiang Cheng's mind. With his knees hugged to his chest from where he sits on the floor in front of one of the paintings, he allows his thoughts to wander. They land on what little he's heard about Lan Huan's childhood.

"Wait," he mutters to himself one day. Didn't his mother mention something about him meeting Lan Huan before as a child?

It hadn't been long after Lan Huan's late mother had passed away, and his uncle had brought him and Lan Wangji to their lake house. Except Lan Huan has never mentioned their meeting before, and Jiang Cheng has no recollection of it. Unless his dream had some merit to it, after all.

"I know exactly what you're missing," Nie Huaisang declares one morning, just when Jiang Cheng thinks to ask the Alpha about his musings. 

From where he leans against the kitchen counter, hovering over Lan Huan's careful handiwork, a fresh pot of homemade congee, Jiang Cheng warily replies, "What now?"

It's been a few days since Jiang Cheng has returned home, but the gaunt shadows beneath his eyes stubbornly remain. Or is his friend referring to his continued lack of appetite?

Immune to his nonchalance, his friend sweetly nudges up against his side like a preening cat. "A nest, A-Cheng," he says with complete confidence. "You need a nest."

While Jiang Cheng goes still, Lan Huan stops stirring to turn towards the two Omega in his kitchen. He eyes them both for a moment, assessing the faces they wear before he comes to agree. "That would be wonderful to have, wouldn't it?" he gently says.

The older male has always been an optimist. Nie Huaisang's hawkish eyes, however, quickly spot the pensive look in Jiang Cheng's eyes. Incredulously, he asks, "You don't want to?"

Rather than not wanting to, the idea of building a nest for himself never really occurred to Jiang Cheng before. A proper nest should be the safest place for an Omega to feel most at home in. A source of comfort and security.

Jiang Cheng has never felt more secure than when he's surrounded by Lan Huan's embrace. He feels even more so when he knows that Nie Huaisang is nearby, too, as the most fiercely protective Omega he knows. Once he returned home to them both, he simply never felt the need to nest.

He certainly never considered his parent's apartment as a place he would want his nest in. Not even during his heats—especially not when he was in heat. Not when it would have been intruded upon just as easily and frequently as the jail room he was confined in.

All to mean that Jiang Cheng has never built a nest for himself in his life.

The nest his mother would bundle him into as a pup probably doesn't exist anymore, lost in one of the rooms of his childhood home. He can hardly remember it, it's been so long. The next best thing had to be during the times he would sleepover at Nie Huaisang's house throughout their years of high school together. He and his mother would invite Jiang Cheng into the nest they had built in her room from a combination of pillows, blankets, and sweaters.

With his two most favourite people within reach, it wouldn't be difficult for Jiang Cheng to start now. Everyone knew of the benefits Omega gained from nesting. The only real question would be where he chooses to make his nest in.

Which leads to Jiang Cheng staunchly deciding the best spot in Lan Huan's art studio to place the large sectional couch he dragged out from the spare guestroom. The Alpha male has already been shooed away despite his gentle offers to assist.

"You've contributed enough as is," Jiang Cheng says, gesturing to the duvet, stack of pillows, and clothing behind him. All of which came from Lan Huan's bedroom.

Lan Huan wilts a little from where he lingers at the doorway. "You're sure?" he asks again, eyes round and imploring.

Just when Jiang Cheng begins to waver underneath that convincing stare, Nie Huaisang calls from the center of the couch, "No Alphas allowed until we're done!"

Jiang Cheng bites the inside of his lip. "You heard him. You have a lot of work to get done, anyway," he reluctantly adds, hoping to stave off the odd guilt in his chest.

He often spends the afternoons curled up with a book in one of the arm chairs in Lan Huan's office and has witnessed first-hand the insane workload of the lawyer. Without ever uttering a single complaint, the older male conducted meeting after meeting from behind his computer. In between that, a never-ending pile of paperwork demanded his attention—as did fielding spontaneous phone calls at all hours of the day.

Lan Huan begins to pout. Even though his office is just down the hall from the studio. "Yes, but how long…?"

Jiang Cheng doesn't instantly cave. He lasts a good couple of seconds before he rushes out, "I'll grab you from your office when you're needed, alright?" And then he shoves the Alpha out the door and snaps it shut before he can respond.

But not before Lan Huan beams, his eyes lighting up from the hastily given promise. "I'll wait for you then, darling," he earnestly returns, his sweet voice muffled through the door.

Jiang Cheng softens, a blush warming his face once it can't be seen. It lingers when he returns to his heap of carefully pilfered items that carries the Alpha's scent.

He fiddles with a wool sweater between his fingers. After rarely being apart from him for the past few days, he's starting to regret sending Lan Huan away when Nie Huaisang nudges him in the shoulder. "We won't ever be done if you just sit there, A-Cheng," he laments with a great sigh.

"I'm not just sitting here," Jiang Cheng protests. He pointedly assesses their joint efforts so far. "I'm planning."

Nie Huaisang takes one glance at his face and doesn't buy it for a second. "Sure," he scoffs, busying himself again with his own pillow. He fluffs it before he primly places it upon his woven quilt, the one he brought from his home. "I still don't know if being so close to the windows will work out," he muses aloud.

While his friend lounges on his section of the couch, Jiang Cheng surveys the area from where he sits. The sleeper portion of the couch has been laid out to create a spacious surface in the middle, offering plenty of room to roll about. He finds himself drawn to the corner between the blackboards, where he would be cushioned on each side. "It has the best view and it catches the sun," he decides with finality. "We have black-out windows, too."

With that said, he sets out to arrange all of his pillows until they've created a spacious border for his duvet to be spread out on. He can already imagine how comfortable it'll be to bundle himself up in the center of all the plush material, surrounded by his favourite scents.

"You have to test it out. Lie down," Nie Huaisang urges, already tugging him close with a smile.

Jiang Cheng still takes his time arranging his duvet and chosen pillow before lying down, facing his fellow Omega who has his phone in hand. Nie Huaisang happily hums, feet swinging in the air behind him. "I still can't believe you've never made a nest before," he says.

Jiang Cheng shrugs and swipes his hand around to try and locate his phone from underneath all of their assorted bedding. "I never felt like it."

He's going to keep the simple but well-kept nest Lan Huan had made for him during his heat to himself. He quietly hopes that he'll be able to remember more of the next one they spend together.

Or would Lan Huan's rut come up before then?

Jiang Cheng glances up in time with his friend, who has shot up on his elbows. "We need snacks to—"

He immediately shuts him down. "There's no way in hell I'm going to let you get crumbs all over my nest!" Jiang Cheng snaps.

"I won't!" Nie Huaisang insists. "I know Er-ge has a stash of sweets somewhere. Those won't make a mess."

Jiang Cheng glowers, imagining smears of chocolate on his pillows. "A-Sang, I swear if you—!"

"I promise! You can count on me," Nie Huaisang says, already climbing off the couch. He sends Jiang Cheng a wink for good measure. "I'll be right back."

With a huff, Jiang Cheng watches his friend's retreating back. This is exactly why he always used to resist his loved ones meddling in his life.

But when he takes another look at his put together nest, a small smile unconsciously makes its way across his features. It's filled with a variety of items that instantly remind him of fond memories with Lan Huan and Nie Huaisang. When he sinks back into his layers of blankets and mounds of pillows, it's only natural for Jiang Cheng to welcome the wave of relaxation that washes over him. It feels a little foreign, but it's certainly a feeling he can get used to. 

If this is how it feels to be taken care of by people he trusts with his life, maybe everything they went through really was worth it. 

Things are getting better.

And yet…

Arms crossed over his chest, shoulders squared, Jiang Cheng remains tense no matter how many times Lan Huan tries to soothe him, dousing him with layers and layers of his scent as if the embrace he surrounds him with isn’t already enough. But even though Jiang Cheng accepts the Alpha’s coaxing, soaking in it, he can't bring himself to fully relax.

No matter the circumstance, having to welcome an unfamiliar Alpha into their home unsettles him. Especially when it’s taken days for Jiang Cheng to truly feel this way—that this is his home. With Lan Huan.

Said male squeezes him closer from behind. Jiang Cheng can't tell whether his nerves are blaring through his scent or not. Lan Huan reassures, “I'm not leaving you alone with him, remember?"

Letting out a quiet sigh, Jiang Cheng sags by a little before turning towards the Alpha’s chest. “I know,” he murmurs. He rests his head there, his cheek pressed to the into the powder blue wool of Lan Huan's sweater.

Jiang Cheng knows that Lan Huan wouldn’t let anything happen, but he can’t shake the feeling of their calm being intruded upon. He doesn’t like it.

Which is why his hackles raise the moment their front door is knocked upon. A low grumble rolls through Jiang Cheng’s chest as he reluctantly peels himself away from his chosen Alpha.

“I promise it won’t be as bad as you think. They are both very kind people,” Lan Huan says, continuing to rub his arms in a comforting manner.

Sullen, Jiang Cheng frowns at him in return. “I’m only doing this because of you,” he reminds the taller male.

“Yes, darling. I know,” Lan Huan readily answers. He even sounds pleased. Then he walks towards the door, bringing Jiang Cheng with him, his arm secured around his waist.

As it opens, Jiang Cheng briefly closes his eyes while telling himself for the tenth time today that he needs his hand to heal if he wants to be of use again. Cooking for his loved ones again is definitely something he wants to get back to. He can't bear to have Lan Huan stressing over what to feed him for much longer.

He needs to get back to normal.

“Wanyin, this is Xiao Xingchen, the Infectious Disease specialist I’ve told you about. My friend and I have known each other for almost a decade now, ever since we attended the same university.” Lan Huan nudges the reluctant Omega forward, though only by a couple of steps. Undeterred, he merrily continues, “This is my sweetheart and fiancé, Jiang Wanyin,” he introduces with an adoring smile.

Jiang Cheng’s ears burn hot from Lan Huan’s choice of words and from how he’s being squeezed close to his lover’s side. But he’s unable to stop his suspicious appraisal of the newly arrived Alpha male from head to toe.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he notes the lack of a typical white coat a doctor often wears, and the only indicator of Xiao Xingchen’s profession is looped around his collar, a black stethoscope over his white dress shirt.

Despite his better instincts, Jiang Cheng has to admit that Xiao Xingchen appears more than harmless with his amicable smile and calm gaze. But more than his appearance, what he appreciates is that the scent the Alpha carries is inoffensive and muted, likely from the use of suppressants.

“Hello, it is a pleasure to meet you, Jiang-xiānsheng,” he says, his voice light and airy. He extends his hand out in greeting.

Thinking of the effort Lan Huan must have taken to persuade a well-paid specialist to see him, Jiang Cheng sticks his hand out as well. “Just Jiang Wanyin is fine. Thank you for going out of your way,” he curtly responds.

To Xiao Xingchen’s credit, unlike the reactions of others when faced by the Omega’s stony attitude, his open expression doesn’t give anything away. He pleasantly replies, “I couldn't possibly turn down a request from Lan-dáxiōng. Especially when I was told that you two are happily engaged.”

Flushing a deep red, Jiang Cheng turns to shoot Lan Huan an accusatory glare, but he’s only sent a guileless smile in return. He can’t even scold the jovial Alpha when the secret of their relationship is now out to those who know them.

“You heard correctly,” he says, tone clipped. Eager to put distance between himself and the physician, Jiang Cheng leaves the two friends to catch up.

After hiding their relationship for months, having so many people know still makes Jiang Cheng nervous. Never mind the thought of his parents now knowing. He can easily imagine the bewilderment others might have, but he coaches himself to cast those worries aside. As he moves around the kitchen of the penthouse, the thought of it gets lighter and lighter with the reminder that there are no longer any secrets between him and Lan Huan, making everything worth it.

Watching him, Jiang Cheng is reminded of why he can't bear to deny any of Lan Huan’s requests when he is so visibly happy from introducing him to his friends. Lan Huan positively beams when Xiao Xingchen congratulates him for their engagement with a heartfelt hug, the Alpha’s dimples appearing.

Jiang Cheng finds himself glancing down at his bare ring finger before a rattling sensation in his chest catches up with him, bringing out a burst of fear or excitement to distract him. Further pulling him away from absorbing the Alpha’s optimism is the petite Beta that has followed him into the kitchen, a bright faced nurse that looks about his age.

“You have such a handsome fiancé,” Shen Qing chirps after introducing herself. “How lucky! A real-life Prince Charming!”

Jiang Cheng makes a show of releasing a disgruntled sigh as he pulls out a chair for her at the table. “Don’t call him that,” he mutters. If anyone were to objectify an Alpha on his watch, he wouldn’t lift a finger. When it comes to his Alpha, however, he would rather make everyone keep their thoughts to themselves.

Evidently happy-go-lucky, the girl responds with a bird-like laugh. “Why not? Even a blind person would say the same! Jiang-xiānsheng, surely you agree?”

“Don’t call me xiānsheng either,” Jiang Cheng sighs. He takes his usual seat at the kitchen island and plucks the thermometer she’s retrieved to stick it under his tongue. “And if you dare to try your luck with my handsome fiancé, I swear I’ll get you infected with whatever is wrecking my hand,” he dryly threatens, languid as can be.

While Shen Qing responds with a laugh, Jiang Cheng pauses to catch the look Lan Huan is sending him. When their eyes meet, the Alpha readily returns to his side.

Jiang Cheng relaxes despite himself with Lan Huan at his shoulder. He tries his best not to glower at Xiao Xingchen’s approach.

The physician says, "I will begin my assessment now, if there aren't any urgent questions to be addressed?"

Nodding his consent, Jiang Cheng resolves himself to remain stock still while his health is checked. Thankfully, without needing to remove any of his clothes. Regardless, he resolutely trains his aggrieved stare on Lan Huan rather than glaring at the unfamiliar Alpha in his proximity.

Lan Huan goes about preparing their tea, his movements as effortlessly graceful as always. Watching him is an effective distraction when Jiang Cheng thinks to himself that there really is no one more beautiful than his Alpha. He would never tolerate this poking and prodding at the request of anyone other than Lan Huan.

He has taken his spot across the table when he lifts his gaze to find Jiang Cheng’s in return. He has to force himself to resist the urge to angle himself away from the pair of those doe eyes. They slowly roam over his features, and he’s terribly interested in what the Alpha is thinking.

Jiang Cheng is more than aware of how much his appearance is lacking compared to when they first met at the Lotus Lounge months ago. The reminder makes him frown.

“The surrounding area is quite red and swollen due to inflammation,” Xiao Xingchen narrates his findings of the wound on Jiang Cheng's hand, squinting from behind his thick glasses. The doctor carefully holds him by the wrist, rotating his hand to take a closer look at the punctured areas. “Overall, it seems to be healing relatively well.”

Jiang Cheng’s skin crawls from beneath the Alpha’s touch, adding to his discomfort. He tries to see what the physician has deduced. “How do you figure?”

“See, these pink areas are healing granulation tissue. There is purulent drainage, yes, but it’s not terribly malodorous or excessive. It seems that you have been taking care of it well,” Xiao Xingchen concludes.

“I’m delighted that you don’t think I terribly stink,” Jiang Cheng replies, unmoved. Though he itches to pull his arm away.

Xiao Xingchen chuckles. “That isn’t what I meant, but keeping your spirit high with humor is just as important for recovery. Please give me a call if you ever come to feel extremely fatigued, have a high fever, or feel the pain has gotten much worse than before.”

The moment the Alpha eases away from him, Jiang Cheng sits back in his chair. He can’t help glancing at Lan Huan, who continues to watch him. “I’m pretty sure I’ve had all of those things at one point or another. Whether it’s from this or not, it hasn’t stopped me so far.”

Despite his patient’s reticent behaviour, Xiao Xingchen’s calm cadence remains, and Jiang Cheng starts to see why the two Alphas are friends. “A-Qing, please cleanse the wound and collect a sample to culture. In the meantime, I will prescribe antibiotics for you to take. Unfortunately, I expect you will require a longer course this time around.”

“That's fine,” Jiang Cheng reluctantly agrees. He isn’t looking forward to battling a second round of side effects from the antibiotics, but when he returns his stare to Lan Huan again, his lover seems pleased. The Alpha wears a soft smile.

"I appreciate your understanding. There is blood work I would like done for you, too, in regards to your general health—which affects your immune system.”

"Such as?"

"Acute stress can worsen existing physical ailments. And, please do not take offence, but..."

Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes. "Say it."

"Correcting imbalances from malnutrition while recovering from an infection is vital. If you haven't been eating regularly, then—”

Jiang Cheng catches the glance the doctor sends to Lan Huan. “What are you giving him that look for? It's not his fault that I'm like this."

He continues to frown when Lan Huan shakes his head. “Wanyin, it's okay...”

"I was only referring to how Lan-dáxiōng has informed me that you two have been separated for a number of weeks,” Xiao Xingchen is quick to explain. “Hormonal disturbances may occur and impact your cycle, among other symptoms."

Jiang Cheng startles at that. "What? How?"

"Between bonded pairs, Omega are often affected significantly by long periods of separation from their partner—"

"We aren't bonded,” Jiang Cheng interrupts, disturbed from having to say it. He tries to gauge Lan Huan’s reaction, but he doesn’t find one.

“We have not exchanged marks yet,” Lan Huan confirms, addressing his friend.

Yet, Jiang Cheng latches on to.

Xiao Xingchen appears surprised for the first time during his visit but quickly rights himself. "My apologies. It was a premature assumption to make from the way you two, ah..."

He trails off, glancing between the two as if questioning what he had seen. Watching it builds the irritation Jiang Cheng feels within his gut. Lan Huan, on the other hand, calmly states, "No offence taken, Xingchen. What do you think, Wanyin? Having blood work drawn now sounds like a good idea."

Continuing to frown, Jiang Cheng reluctantly nods in agreement.

“Do you have any further questions for me?” Xiao Xingchen asks, satisfied with the rest of his assessment.

Rather than answering, Jiang Cheng gestures to Lan Huan, who he is sure to have concerns about his health.

Sending him a reassuring smile before he moves off, Lan Huan stops to say, “Please let me know if you need me, Wanyin, and I'll be back.”

“When do I not?” he quietly mutters, watching as the two older men converge in the living room. As promised, he remains well within Jiang Cheng’s line of sight.

Still, another heavy sigh leaves him.

"It helps to relax,” Shen Qing is gently saying as she retrieves the necessary supplies. “Are you sure you don’t want Lan-xiānsheng beside you?” she teases.

Unamused, he shakes his head. He doubts Lan Huan can dispel his brooding right now, not when he's still replaying their discussion in his head. "Let’s get on with it.”

Jiang Cheng winces through the wound cleansing, willing himself to not let his mind wander from the pricking sensation in his arm. But when Shen Qing places a square gauze soaked with antiseptic over his wound, Jiang Cheng is unable to stop himself from hissing through his teeth at the intense burn that immediately flares up on contact.

“I’m sorry!” the nurse gasps with round eyes, having not expected a reaction from how still he’s held himself until now. “I should have warned you about the sting.”

Jiang Cheng roughly shakes his head. "It's fine. You can keep going."

Already starting to fume from nerves—with the nerves of his hand literally on fire—Jiang Cheng can only send Lan Huan yet another accusing stare for putting him through this.

When the Alpha feels it landing on him, he seems to forget his conversation with the doctor, his attention switching. “What is it, Wanyin?” Lan Huan asks, seemingly on reflex.

Exhaling roughly through his nose, Jiang Cheng deigns to answer before he starts biting necks in half from how hard he’s grinding his teeth together. Instead, he starts cussing out the entire Wen family in his head and decides that the next time Nie Huaisang brings up the need to teach them a lesson, he’s going to indulge him.

“Jiang-xiānsheng, if you could please relax your—”

“Just call me Jiang Wanyin, Jiang-nobody, or fucking Omega. Don’t call me xiānsheng when I have nothing to my name,” Jiang Cheng snaps without thinking.

Shen Qing falls silent, nervously biting her lips. Only when she finally removes the antiseptic soaked gauze does she cautiously mumble, “I wouldn’t say that about you.”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes flare open to fix her with a glare. “Great. I appreciate your charitable assessment.”

When Shen Qing is unable to hold back her laugh, her dainty and fair features shine in comparison to his perpetual gloom. “Are you always this snappy?”

He can’t tell whether the girl is infallibly cheerful or whether his tone is lacking its viscous edge now that it no longer feels like his hand is melting. Jiang Cheng sniffs. “You haven’t seen the worst of it yet.”

“Okay, grumpy,” Shen Qing easily replies. After applying a new dressing, she finally begins to wrap his hand back up. She continues, “I deal with worse on a daily basis from our other patients; feel free to let it all out if this helps you relax.”

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Jiang Cheng can practically feel how hard he’s glaring in exasperation. “I’m not going to relax in this situation, and I’m not trying to.”

“You should try,” she insists. “Bite wounds like these are notorious for being slow and difficult to recover from, but your hand isn’t in the most terrible state it could be. That’s a good thing!”

“Shocking.”

Ignoring his sarcasm, Shen Qing continues to chatter. “With your new treatment plan from Xiao-yīshēng, you’re sure to get better soon! He’s the best doctor you could ever work with, and he’s the most kind, too,” she beams.

Jiang Cheng releases a disinterested grunt, her cheerfulness bouncing off his tense exterior.

“Oh, by the way…about earlier, what the doctor mentioned…?”

He’s never understood why people continue to talk to him when he’s being nothing but foul. “Which part?” he grumbles. In fact, he’s much more used to being yelled at in return.

With his bandaged hand between them, she leans towards him to say, “Alpha and Omega pairs don’t require mating bites to become bonded if their compatibility is high.”

Shen Qing’s keen eyes brighten when she finally manages to rouse a reaction from Jiang Cheng. Brows furrowed, he remains skeptical. “What are you talking about?”

“Fated pairs!” she exclaims. “It’s become less common nowadays for pairs to find one another with the widespread use of suppressants—but doesn’t that make it even more romantic?” Shen Qing earnestly asserts.

Oh, not this again. 

The giddiness radiating off the Beta suddenly makes sense. She must be expecting to witness the dreamy romance often portrayed about fated pairs in the media. 

If Jiang Cheng did not feel as drained as he does, he would have the mind to tell her off. Instead, he only asks, “Why are you telling me this?”

Shen Qing enthusiastically states, “It's part of my responsibility to ensure you're informed on matters that affect your health. Don’t you think that you two are—?"

“Yeah, okay,” Jiang Cheng scoffs, sliding right into disbelief. “If you want to gossip about things like fate and compatibility, you’re better off asking him. My fiancé. Since you’re struggling to figure out why he would want to keep me around." He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. "Go on.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do, Jiang-xian—I mean, Jiang Wanyin. I’m just—"

Jiang Cheng stands from the table. “I'll have you know that he’d be the first one to dismiss gossip about our relationship,” he tersely states.

"Ah, no, I really didn't mean to offend...!"

"You didn't," he huffs.

Moving to start a fresh pot of tea, Jiang Cheng’s frown deepens when he notices the irregular swaying of his right hand. He can’t seem to gather the strength to lift the teapot with his bandaged hand. It continues to feel tender, made worse when he curls his stiff fingers towards himself in a grasping motion.

As if summoned by his frustration, Lan Huan’s voice sounds from behind him. “Allow me.” A larger hand reaches around him to take hold of the porcelain handle. The Alpha’s other hand runs down the length of his arm before reaching the edge of the island, bracketing Jiang Cheng’s left side. “Are you alright?” he asks, speaking into his ear.

Jiang Cheng would shrug but doesn’t want to hit Lan Huan’s chin with his shoulder in the process, so he only produces a short noise in response.

When Lan Huan turns to reach for the water boiler on the kitchen counter, Jiang Cheng becomes aware of the way they’re being observed. Or rather how Lan Huan’s every move attracts more stares than just his own. He considers pulling the Alpha down for a raunchy kiss to entertain the nosy Beta, and when Jiang Cheng sends her a pointed look, Shen Qing sheepishly grins from behind her hand.

Jiang Cheng is interrupted from doing anything further when another Alpha enters his vision. He flicks his glare over.

Xiao Xingchen pretends not to notice and briefly scans over him before advising, “It's important to stay hydrated after blood has been drawn, Jiang Wanyin. Stay sitting for a while, yes? I would not be surprised if you are anemic, as well, if you’ve been too nauseated to eat a balanced diet.”

“I’m fine,” Jiang Cheng briskly waves off. He crosses his arms as he waits for the physician to continue, and he would lean his hip against the island if Lan Huan was not as insistent as he is with supporting his weight, his arm wrapped around his middle. Shifting his stance, Jiang Cheng finally tilts his face back to send Lan Huan an annoyed look. “What, don’t think I can stand on my own? Why don’t you find out what’ll happen once you let go?”

When Lan Huan lowers his head, their cheeks graze against each other. “I do prefer you off your feet, actually,” he admits with a grin, keeping his voice low to only be heard by Jiang Cheng, who swiftly whacks his chest for his cheek. Lan Huan pretends to wince before innocently handing him a fresh cup of tea. “Doctor’s orders,” he says.

While sending the Alpha another glare from over the porcelain cup, Jiang Cheng listens to Xiao Xingchen’s jovial advice. “Do not feel too shy to rely on Lan-dáxiōng today. He's always been very good at taking care of others; his underclassmen adored him,” he shares, smiling at the memory. “Now that I think of it, our Medicine department was incredibly determined to recruit him from day one of our Orientation."

Nodding to himself, Jiang Cheng finds that easy to image. He flippantly retorts, “It’s good that they failed, else I wouldn’t be here.”

Because if Lan Huan's law firm was not as close as it was to the Lotus Lounge, how would they ever run into each other? Especially with Jiang Cheng's repulsion for health care facilities.

“Darling, don’t say that,” Lan Huan chides. He says to his friend, “If you and Song-dì had not joined them, they never would have left me alone. Despite Dàgē's best efforts." He always sounds harassed whenever he recounts those days.

"That's right,” Xiao Xingchen chuckles. “Even so, our days spent studying together never remained peaceful with the following you always managed to attract wherever we went.”

Jiang Cheng has visualized the charismatic Alpha striding through bright halls of higher education establishments many times before. He adds in a hoard of admirers trailing after Lan Huan’s heels and remains caught between wanting to pity the man or laugh at the idea of the Alpha being hounded all across campus, which must have covered a number of city blocks.

In the end, he slides towards pitying Lan Huan for having to deal with the eyes of too many during his day-to-day life when his current profession demands the same level of attention from his associates and the public press.

Jiang Cheng allows himself to lean slightly into his hold as he sarcastically praises, “My Alpha is such a popular guy.”

Like this, he feels it when Lan Huan takes a slow breath. His tone is a touch strained when he says to Xiao Xingchen, “Please don’t give the impression to Wanyin that I was the only one who received untoward interest amongst us, Xingchen. You had admirers, too.”

The physician continues to chuckle, a carefree sound. “You can’t deny that you were the most sought after, Lan-dà. Zichen and I came from the rural countryside with only the clothes on our backs while Mingjue-xiōng was… Well. He attracted another kind of admiration, didn’t he?” he jokes.

Jiang Cheng raises a brow at that. He finds it amusing to watch Lan Huan continue to fail at deflecting attention away from himself.

Xiao Xingchen catches his eye to continue, “If we were to rank the bachelors within our year, Lan-dáxiōng would have surely been ranked number one. But you don’t seem too surprised to hear this.”

Should he be feeling proud of himself for snagging the most sought-after Alpha around? Jiang Cheng answers, “It’s no wonder to me how easy it is for anyone to fall in love with him.”

While Xiao Xingchen sends a bemused smile over his shoulder, Lan Huan releases a quiet groan. “Wanyin, please,” he laments. “You do realize that I can hear you, don’t you?”

“Of course you can. You're glued to me like a barnacle,” he says, given how hard it is to ignore the man when he’s mere inches away from him, his body heat warming his back. “Why?” he tacks on.

“You’re making me blush...”

Curious, Jiang Cheng tilts his head up to examine the Alpha’s fair complexion. He sees a light flush gradually making its way from the back of Lan Huan’s pink ears to the curves of his cheeks. “I haven’t said anything wrong.”

Avoiding his eyes, Lan Huan shakes his head slightly. “We’ll talk about this later,” he softly states.

Just as Jiang Cheng sends him another inquisitive look, Shen Qing draws attention to herself. “It’s better for us to head out early for our next appointment, Xiao-yīshēng. Should we say our goodbyes now?”

“Ah, yes,” Xiao Xingchen agrees. “We would not want to be late for our next appointment again. Jiang Wanyin, it was a pleasure meeting you."

Jiang Cheng nods, glad to have their home to themselves again. "Thank you for your help."

"It's my honour. Lan-dà, let's catch up again when your workload clears. Now that Zichen has completed his fellowship in Toxicology, we need to remind him that humans are meant to be social creatures,” Xiao Xingchen jests.

"Of course,” Lan Huan easily agrees. As he guides the doctor and nurse pair towards the door, he doesn’t forget to give the Beta one of his charming smiles. “Thank you for your help as well, Xiǎo-Qing.”

While Jiang Cheng returns to his seat at the kitchen island, he eyes the way a girlish smile blooms across Shen Qing’s features under Lan Huan’s acknowledgement and sighs to himself, impatiently tapping his fingers. He’s only somewhat appeased when the affable male is quick to return to his side once the door clicks shut behind him.

“Are you really feeling okay, my love?” Lan Huan immediately asks. After his inquiries have been ignored twice already, he takes one glance at Jiang Cheng’s expression and turns the kitchen stool the Omega sits upon so that he’s forced to face him. “It looked like you were in pain earlier.”

With his feet now dangling between the Alpha’s knees, Jiang Cheng leans his elbows against the island behind him. He shrugs. He’s more interested in the Alpha standing before him, wondering whether Lan Huan is aware of how often he enters his space without question lately.

Allowing the other to take his hand, the Alpha intent on examining his new dressing, Jiang Cheng casually says, “It stung like a bitch but it’s not so bad anymore. Did you and the doctor discuss anything interesting?”

Continuing to look him over, Lan Huan takes a moment to answer. “We discussed ways I can support your healing process and what to do should you experience side effects from the antibiotics again.”

Jiang Cheng grimaces at the reminder but shakes his head. He hasn’t had any nausea after returning home and doubts that it would become as unbearable as it had been when under the constant scrutiny of his family. “I’ll be fine,” he says, “and if not, you’d take care of me, wouldn’t you?”

Holding his gaze, Jiang Cheng hooks his ankle around the Alpha’s calf and tugs. Lan Huan predictably places both hands on the kitchen island, caging him between his arms as he obediently leans towards him in response. Tipping his chin, Jiang Cheng fondly takes in Lan Huan’s handsome features from up close, finally starting to relax now that he has the Alpha all to himself.

Lan Huan searches his eyes in return, as dedicated as always. He gradually brings one hand up to caress Jiang Cheng’s face. His gaze softens as he watches the way Jiang Cheng nuzzles into the cup of his palm. “I simply wish that you would care more about your health, Wanyin...”

With how close their faces are, Jiang Cheng has made it impossible for himself to evade the Alpha. He can only mutter, “I care enough, don’t I?”

He’s endured utter hell to still be here by Lan Huan’s side, and it’s finally starting to pay off. He’s survived. Even though he’s lost too many pounds of weight from all the stress, at least he’s living again. "Why," he asks, "are you getting tired of me already?"

Continuing to brush his thumb along the side of Jiang Cheng’s face, the older male shakes his head. “That isn't possible. Wanyin has been nagging me so cutely to take better care of myself every day,” Lan Huan points out. “Can’t I expect the same from you?”

He frowns. “As long as we take care of each other, it balances out, doesn’t it?” Jiang Cheng argues. “And what do you mean, cute?”

When Lan Huan’s serious façade finally melts with his amused chuckle, Jiang Cheng is not sure how to respond when he is gently pulled into a warm hug. “Darling, that’s not the point,” he sighs into his ear, “even though I am very, very happy to take care of you.”

Jiang Cheng unconsciously hums, satisfied by Lan Huan's response.

While he enjoys the way Lan Huan fits their bodies together, the Alpha’s chin resting upon his shoulder, Jiang Cheng finds himself thinking about what Xiao Xingchen and Shen Qing had said earlier.

He is well aware that Lan Huan has never given him a reason to doubt his support when he has only ever been consistent and quick to show him that he even enjoys taking care of him. But as much as Jiang Cheng wants to reject what he had been told during the appointment, his biology as an Omega has just as consistently shown up time and again to ruin everything he's ever hoped for.

And as much as he doesn’t want to, he feels the need to quietly ask, “Is it that you think I’m too dependent on you?”

“No, Wanyin, not at all,” Lan Huan is quick to deny. “Why wouldn’t I want you to depend on me?” He begins to draw back, to face him, but Jiang Cheng keeps his head lowered, his forehead digging into the Alpha’s chest. When he doesn’t answer, Lan Huan settles with rubbing his back. “Taking care of yourself more won’t mean that I will do any less for you. What's worrying you, hm?”

Sullen, Jiang Cheng eventually voices aloud, “The doctor said that if we’re bonded, it wouldn't be good for our health to be apart. That I would take it harder than you. And the nurse told me that we don’t have to mark each other to become bonded if we’re compatible enough or whatever...”

Won’t he become a burden because of this?

Is that why Lan Huan won’t give him his mark?

Won't he become more of a burden than he already is?

Everyone throws around the concept of fate so easily—as if it’s a good thing—while Jiang Cheng’s fate as an Omega has only ever been a wrench in his way. Including his efforts to not be too dependent on others. Because leaning too heavily on another person has always felt like stepping into a trap he won’t be able to climb out of. And this supposed condition between bonded pairs only proves that.

When he detects the quiet sigh Lan Huan lets out, Jiang Cheng cautiously raises his eyes to take in the thoughtful expression the other wears—growing still in surprise when Lan Huan takes the opportunity to press a kiss to his forehead.

His voice gently brushing over his skin, the Alpha tells him, “That is not something for us to worry about, Wanyin... My desire to care for you exists outside of a bond. Just as I do not intend on us being separated like that again. Nothing could ever change that for me,” he promises.

Jiang Cheng stares at the Alpha as his words sink in, his trepidation easily washing away. Somewhere along the way, a part of himself has grown to readily accept Lan Huan’s answers to replace his doubts. Allowing him to feel reassured. That it really is okay for him to rely on Lan Huan so completely.

This is the Alpha that asked Jiang Cheng to marry him, after all. This is the Alpha that Jiang Cheng chose for himself.

Unbeknownst to him, a small smile has made its way onto his lips. He only notices the blush that starts to heat his cheeks from meeting Lan Huan’s gaze from so close, their noses brushing lightly together. Jiang Cheng could stare into those clear hazel eyes for an eternity, and he would feel wholly content to memorize every single speck of warm gold within them, or to count his long lashes that almost fan along the tops of his cheeks.

Yes, he realizes that he doesn’t need a bond to feel this way. If he had to depend on anyone, he would want it to be Lan Huan.

Observing him just as intently, his lover huffs softly and lightly rubs Jiang Cheng’s bottom lip with his thumb. “Isn’t Wanyin going to answer me?” Lan Huan asks, as if trying to tease out his voice.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t think words are capable of conveying the way he responds whenever Lan Huan speaks directly to what's hidden within his heart. He only reaches his arms up to loop them securely around the Alpha’s neck, keeping him close, and when it causes Lan Huan to bow forwards by a couple of inches, their mouths nearly meet.

Starting to smile, Lan Huan seems to hear how he feels, or perhaps he reads it on his face. He looks utterly fond, and Jiang Cheng wonders if it’s reflected in his eyes, too.

His voice a low hush, Lan Huan whispers, “Why were you staring at me like that earlier, Wanyin...? As if you wanted me to hold you.”

Out of all the interpretations Lan Huan could have possibly made from Jiang Cheng’s aggrieved glares during their appointment, he’s arrived on the most presumptuous one. He can’t help the quiet laugh that escapes him. “You’re imagining things, Alpha,” Jiang Cheng whispers back, all while toying with the short strands of his hair.

“Am I?” Lan Huan murmurs. His heavy gaze skims towards Jiang Cheng’s parted lips.

“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng answers before tilting his face up to trace the smile he adores so much, like he’s been yearning to. He’s missed this; he’s missed returning a little of the sweetness Lan Huan readily pours into him every day that they’re together.

It’s a slow, savouring caress, and it hasn’t escaped him that this is their first kiss after he’s come home, after so long. It's been too long.

He sighs in relief when Lan Huan naturally presses closer to deepen the kiss, enjoying the way he tenderly cups his face in his hands as he does. Jiang Cheng’s fingers dig into the Alpha’s nape, not intending to let him slip away too soon. The single touch has Lan Huan bowing further around him with a low, appreciative noise.

It’s better this way, Jiang Cheng feels, when it’s been weeks since the last time he’s has had Lan Huan like this. Weeks where Jiang Cheng never allowed himself to imagine being within this warm embrace again. Because he’s already discovered from long before that it only made their separation more painful when he fixated too long on his dreams of the Alpha. But now that they’re together…

As he sinks into the act of kissing Lan Huan, a shiver travels through Jiang Cheng’s torso, and the heat of the Alpha’s tongue fills his mouth. With a quiet keen, he’s already clutching onto him, urging him closer. And perhaps he is too accepting of the arm that cinches tightly around his waist, locking him in place.

Jiang Cheng is being quickly reminded that as sweet as Lan Huan is, he is just as passionate—if not more.

When he opens his eyes to try and reorient himself, he finds the Alpha already boring into him, as if expecting him to pull away. “Wait,” Jiang Cheng shakily exhales. He clutches onto Lan Huan’s hand, the one holding the side of his face, so that he can turn his head and try to suck in a steadying breath. But his voice soon hitches within his throat.

Lan Huan has already decided to continue his pursuit, unperturbed by how the Omega within his hold squirms. Or rather, he’s spurred on each time his touch is evaded.

Jiang Cheng’s half-hearted resistance is rapidly failing him. Already the corner of his jaw is being mouthed at. Fiery marks of pink and red are being left behind, trailing after the claiming sucks and nips Lan Huan subjects him to.

His thoughts moving so slowly, wavering, Jiang Cheng blinks his eyes with effort, trying to clear his mind. He belatedly thinks to protest, “A-Sang will notice if you…”

When his muffled voice trails off, Lan Huan huffs softly between them. He murmurs along his skin, “It’s not like Huaisang isn’t aware of the things I do to you behind closed doors.”

“What?” Jiang Cheng stutters. The possessive drawl of the Alpha’s pitched-low voice awakens a hot twinge of arousal between his hips even as he tries to continue, “You can’t—”

Jiang Cheng interrupts himself with a shuddering groan, involuntarily dropping his head back when he feels the first hot drag of lips against his scent gland. He can’t resist—it’s been so long. So long.

The mound of pliant flesh throbs in response, and a deep course of heat seizes him completely after weeks of being deprived of this—the intimacy of having this Alpha claim the most sensitive part of him. And of the ability to be so vulnerable to the light scrape of teeth over that patch of skin.

“Can’t I?” Lan Huan huskily returns. He deeply breathes him in with a low growl, lips hotly pressed against Jiang Cheng's scent gland, as if fulfilling an addiction with each mouthful of blooming lotus flowers. The Alpha’s urgency rapidly grows, fuelling his every touch as he groans, “I’ve been waiting, Wanyin.”

He’s come to grow so lax under the Alpha’s touch. A realization comes to him between his swaying focus, that Lan Huan could tie him with his mark, and he would readily accept it.

After being doused in the icy cold of isolation for so long, Jiang Cheng instantaneously responds to the Alpha’s calling, the musky surge of sandalwood that fills and warms his chest. He’s flooded with an intense desire that burns so deeply into his flesh everywhere the Alpha touches.

It makes Jiang Cheng ache, so much so that he could not resist even if he tried to. How could he?

He’s been waiting for so long, too. He had been gripped by the terror of not being allowed to have this again—the longing, the closeness, the love he feels for Lan Huan.

Now, it feels like he’s drowning in all of it, and that’s exactly what he’s been craving.

An unrelenting grasp to the back of his nape keeps him in place. It’s needed when Jiang Cheng can’t help the way his head lulls back from a deep suck to his nape, giving the Alpha even more. His eyes threaten to roll, and his dark lashes begin to tremble when Lan Huan lifts his mouth from his scent gland—just to work Jiang Cheng’s lips apart again, hungrily swallowing the breathless keens spilling from them.

“Lan Huan,” Jiang Cheng thinly gasps again. He manages to tilt his face away by an inch, but his lips remain against the corner of the Alpha’s, the reliable heat of his skin so intoxicating, so hard to miss. “You’re…mmh…”

Lan Huan quietly groans around a tight exhale, his eyes hooded and his knuckles bone white as he begins to harness his restraint. “What is it, sweetheart…?”

It’s like the Alpha’s gravelly voice is travelling through his skin, his lips already returning to the smooth expanse of his throat.  Jiang Cheng sighs faintly, “You’re making me…lightheaded…”

“Ah.” Lan Huan is quick to release him from his hold, rocking back on his arms as he sucks in a breath. “I’m sorry, Wanyin. I can’t help himself when your scent has been so...”

“What?” Jiang Cheng confusedly asks, his breathlessness hindering his thoughts. He dazedly watches as Lan Huan forces himself to turn his face away, his shoulders growing tense. Though he continues to hover closely, keeping Jiang Cheng trapped between him and the countertop. Not that he has the will to truly try to escape him.

Lan Huan releases a distracted noise before he faces him again. It takes a single glance for him to surge forwards for another kiss—though he cuts it short to lean their foreheads together instead, panting slightly.

“The entire afternoon, you've been calling me over,” he murmurs, staring down at him intensely. “I can’t keep myself away from you.”

Most of the time, Jiang Cheng barely recognizes his own scent. Right now, he can only pay attention to the burn of Lan Huan’s lips still lingering upon his. He thoughtlessly wets them, attracting the Alpha’s stare as they both catch their breaths, sharing the air between them.

“Maybe we’re already bonded,” Jiang Cheng carelessly mumbles.

Lowering his face, Lan Huan shakes his head as if he’s still struggling to right himself. But when he lifts his face again, Jiang Cheng can see that his eyes have grown darker than ever, his pupils swallowing gold. “Wanyin, how can you…” Lan Huan cuts himself off with a rough exhale. “You called me yours in front of others so easily,” he finishes heatedly.

The Alpha’s behavior this afternoon gradually starts to make sense. He cocks his head to his side, the motion exposing his throat. “Why can’t I?”

His eyes tracking his every move, Lan Huan’s hands slowly and deliberately drag up the length of Jiang Cheng’s thighs until his fingers are sinking into the crests of his hips. He pulls him forward to the edge of the bar stool in a single motion and says, “We both know well who I belong to, Wanyin.”

A languid smile plays across Jiang Cheng’s swollen red lips from the Alpha’s ready admission. “Didn’t you want everyone to know I’ve staked my claim on you?” Of all the people they’ve told, he smirks at the thought of how they would react if they knew how much he’s capable of riling this man up.

Yes, he’s proud of it, Jiang Cheng decides.

Lan Huan appears effectively distracted, his eyes drifting this way and that as if to absorb every detail of the Omega before him. He asks under his breath, “Is that what I’ve said?”

Jiang Cheng’s hand returns to dig into the Alpha’s nape. He feels the hitch of Lan Huan’s breath when he nips at those kissable lips. He warns, “You should know that I don’t share, Lan Huan. That I’m selfish.”

His other hand climbing the firm slopes of Lan Huan’s back, he messes the short strands of his silken hair before he strokes down the line of his angular jaw. He can feel it working beneath his fingertips, shifting when the Alpha swallows.

Everything he knows about Lan Huan when they’re being intimate comes rushing back to him like clockwork. All of the signs of Lan Huan being at the limit of his self-control start to appear under Jiang Cheng’s watch. It’s written all over his face. He can feel it in the way Lan Huan’s breathing has changed, how his broad chest slowly heaves to press against his.

The Alpha quietly groans and shudders beneath his touch. “Baby, how do you want me to respond to that…?”

And from the moment they first met, Jiang Cheng has always made it his mission to break through all of Lan Huan’s restraint.

Molding their bodies together, legs wrapping around the Alpha’s thick torso, Jiang Cheng kisses him again. Open-mouthed and urgent, their teeth briefly clack together before his canines shallowly dig into Lan Huan’s bottom lip.

Before his answer can slip out from between their heavy breaths, Jiang Cheng ducks down, clutching onto the Alpha’s shoulders. With his mouth so near to Lan Huan’s scent gland, the temptation is too great.

Jiang Cheng breathily moans as he flattens his tongue over the burning mound of giving flesh, instantly drawing out a thick release of Lan Huan’s heavy, tantalizing scent. He almost doesn’t react in time when Lan Huan goes slack, his breath audibly catching within his throat.

When the Alpha is forced to his elbows, the warm weight of his chest pins Jiang Cheng against the kitchen island, the edge of it digging into his shoulder blades. And Jiang Cheng is distracted when he feels the Alpha’s erection trapped against his inner thigh. The more than evident state of Lan Huan’s arousal sends his already racing heart into overdrive.

Squeezing his thigh around the other man’s waist, he earnestly encourages Lan Huan to press even closer as he continues to suck on his gland. He gasps from it. “W-Wanyin, you—”

“What if I wanted to mark you?” Jiang Cheng breathes out, fanning over the swollen gland. "Lan Huan..."

He’s already molding his lips around its borders, just as he would surround it with the lines of his teeth before sinking in to truly take this Alpha as his. For the rest of their lives. He unconsciously moans from the heady thought of Lan Huan needing him just as much as Jiang Cheng already needs him.

But Jiang Cheng’s gears stall when he notices the way Lan Huan has grown still against him, the tension within his back increasing when he lifts his head. Minutely shifting his nape away from Jiang Cheng’s greedy lips.

When Lan Huan looks down at him, he has become serious with intent. Jiang Cheng’s frenzied thoughts are drawn to the way Lan Huan slowly rubs the edge of his swollen lips, exposing the Omega's canines before their eyes meet again.

His breath stutters in surprise when the Alpha leans towards him. His hand returns to grasp the back of his nape, guiding Jiang Cheng even closer.

“Mark me, Wanyin,” Lan Huan tells him in a deep voice.

Eyes growing wide, Jiang Cheng almost can’t believe his ears, but the Alpha spoke so clearly that he can’t be mistaken. His attention darts back to the Alpha’s nape, already tinged pink from his ministrations, perhaps matching his own.

But as he draws closer, lips parted, a thought comes to him. That this won’t feel complete if Lan Huan doesn’t mark him, too. And no matter how many things tell him otherwise, he still can’t shake the feeling that Lan Huan doesn’t want to.

Jiang Cheng is the one who hesitates when his previous worries return. His hands fall away from the Alpha as he begins to retreat, averting his gaze as he slides back in his chair.

“… No. Never mind,” he mutters.

Lan Huan lifts away to blink down at him, disoriented from the whiplash. “What?” His brow furrows as he searches his face. “Why are you saying no?”

Jiang Cheng shakes his head, frustrated. “I just don’t want other Alphas to—”

He sighs. Before he can explain that what he really wants is to no longer fear the physiological influence other Alphas can force onto him, Lan Huan’s phone vibrates in his front pocket. It’s hard for Jiang Cheng to ignore when it’s wedged against the bony aspect of his knee. He reaches into Lan Huan’s pocket at the same time that he does.

“Ignore it,” Lan Huan briskly orders, already grasping his wrist, holding the phone away from their faces. But Jiang Cheng has already seen the caller ID by the time Lan Huan says, “I’m handling him.”

“No, this is why!” Jiang Cheng growls, yanking the phone back. His brother is calling again. “None of them should get to have a say on my life! Not Wei Wuxian, not my father.”

He sees the flicker of irritation that passes through Lan Huan’s features as he mutters, “I know that. Just hang up the call, Wanyin.”

“They’re going to keep trying to interfere until we—!”

“They won’t be able to for much longer.” Lan Huan manages to take the phone from his hand and flicks it away, uncaring of how it clatters against marble. He’s replaced it, entwining their fingers together and bringing Jiang Cheng to a pause. With his other hand, Lan Huan grasps his chin to direct his gaze as implores, “I’m making it so. You only need to believe in me.”

“Because the only candidate left to be my guardian is my husband?”

“Yes.”

It’s as if Lan Huan has already predicted what he would say, effectively silencing him. Gnawing upon his lip, Jiang Cheng can’t ignore how steadfast Lan Huan is, how quick he is to cast aside any concern. Not because he’s uncaring—far from it—and he realizes that he’s missed too much during those lost three weeks. How much has Lan Huan been stewing over all of this?

What conclusions has Lan Huan made on his own?

With a slow heave of his chest, Jiang Cheng calms himself enough to ask, “What exactly are we going to do from here?”

He finds it ironic that for years he’s dreaded that fate of having to hand over so much to a single Alpha, but now it’s what he wants the most. Because it will be Lan Huan.

Now that Jiang Cheng has finally decided to make his dream a reality, he needs to know how he’s going to reach it, what needs to be done for it to happen. He can’t keep walking around in circles, stuck between the past and present, lost and not knowing where the future lies.

He can see the future now, and Jiang Cheng knows that his answer will always be Lan Huan. But he doesn’t want to sit around and wait for it to happen.

“I have already initiated a challenge to the court to revoke your father from having any legal say in your affairs. He will have no right to oppose our intent to marry,” Lan Huan informs him.

Despite the turbulent mix of emotions occupying him, Jiang Cheng can’t help his scoff. “A challenge? Are you going to duel for this hand of mine?” He flexes his fingers from between the Alpha’s.

Serious, Lan Huan simply squeezes his hand again and says, “I do expect a legal battle from him, but it’s not something I can’t handle, Wanyin.”

The type of person Lan Huan is has always granted him confidence that everything will turn out fine. Jiang Cheng has learned that rather than arrogance, it’s fact that Lan Huan is always willing to go the extra mile to see things through in every aspect of his life. Especially when it comes to chasing a certain Omega he’s chosen.

Jiang Cheng comments, “I doubt that he would go through the trouble. He might protest at first, but he’ll back out once he remembers that I’m useless to his causes.” He smirks wryly and leans towards his face to drawl, “Since my Alpha has ruined me for anyone else.”

Lan Huan allows the straight set of his shoulders to fall in kind as he boldly runs the wide span of his hand down the front of Jiang Cheng’s chest. Starting to smile, clearly pleased by his words, Lan Huan admits, “I have, haven’t I?”

It’s the Alpha’s confidence that makes him feel bold enough to say, “It would be easier if you just mark me, Lan Huan. If we mark each other,” he clarifies from earlier.

But this time, at the mention of marking him, Jiang Cheng sees the shadow that seems to fall over Lan Huan’s features as his back straightens once more. The Alpha leans away by an inch. “We’ve talked about this before,” he begins, haltingly.

The claws of rejection start to reach for him, but Jiang Cheng desperately pushes them away, refusing to accept it when it’s from him. He grips his hand tighter. “What, you mean about doing things the proper way?"

"Yes—"

"And how long is that exactly going to take? I don’t care about that as much as—”

But Lan Huan takes a deep breath and interrupts him to say, “I care.”

Despite how much he wills himself not to, Jiang Cheng feels himself faltering again. While he inevitably wavers, like always, Lan Huan has already made up his mind. He’s always been clear in what he believes in.

And just like always, Jiang Cheng hears a voice in his head that tells him that Lan Huan knows better, that he should listen to him, because haven’t they gotten this far that way? He’s supposed to relent. He’s supposed to believe in Lan Huan.

Except this time, when Jiang Cheng tries to cast away his doubts and push down what he wants to say, the hurt that clogs his chest feels worse than it ever has. It doesn’t surprise him. No, he’s always expected this.

But it hurts. Lan Huan doesn’t want him the same way.

Should he? 

He doesn’t have to want him the same, Jiang Cheng tries to tell himself. It’s only this one thing.

He only doesn’t understand why after everything they’ve gone through together and all the reassurance Lan Huan has readily poured into him—why does it still feel like the Alpha is out of reach?

Biting on his bottom lip, Jiang Cheng finds himself bowing his head, unable to bear Lan Huan’s watchful stare. He looks at their hands, how Lan Huan’s engulfs his, surrounding it with warmth.

Whose voice is he supposed to listen to?

Jiang Cheng hears himself quietly asking, “Do you care about that more than us? Doing things the proper way?”

Lan Huan takes longer than usual to respond, long enough for Jiang Cheng to start worrying again. He’s well aware of how adept the Alpha has become at placating him, always knowing what to say to reassure him. What if it’s just that?

Up until now, has Lan Huan only been telling him what he wants to hear?

“Wanyin...”

Gathering himself, Jiang Cheng forces himself to look up and meet Lan Huan’s eyes. What he hears now is Lan Huan’s silent reluctance, and he realizes that he’s the one who created it. What they’ve gone through has taken a greater toll than he thought. Because he’s created an image of himself in the other man’s eyes that shows him that he can’t handle the truth.

He can’t blame Lan Huan for thinking of him that way.

“It’s okay,” Jiang Cheng quietly tells him. He can read the Alpha’s troubled expression and unconsciously lifts his hand to stroke the side of his face.  “Lan Huan, if it's something you care about, I want to know. I’m not going to argue about this; I promise to listen to you without...”

He trails off uncertainly when he sees the way Lan Huan’s gaze has grown distant, even as he allows himself to lean into Jiang Cheng’s hold. A barely noticeable crease has formed at his brow and the line of his mouth has gone straight—too much so. As if a mask has slipped over the Alpha’s face.

It has been months since the last time he recognized Lan Huan wearing one in front of him. Seeing that mask again makes Jiang Cheng fret—and it has him leaning in. “Lan Huan, you—”

The bell of the penthouse elevator suddenly rings from behind them. It announces the imminent arrival of a guest, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t react to it, locked onto Lan Huan’s shifting gaze. He’s tracking every little ripple of emotion passing through the other man’s tormented eyes.

No matter how many layers Lan Huan tries to put on, he’s always been able to see through them. And he can’t ignore the hidden well of sorrow within those golden orbs that he spies just before Lan Huan pushes away, turning his face towards the entrance of their home. He takes a step back.

Before Lan Huan can place more distance between them, Jiang Cheng seizes hold of his wrist. There’s a brief crack of something resembling panic in the Alpha's expression when he holds fast, not allowing Lan Huan to extract himself.

He hastily glances at Jiang Cheng. “We will discuss this again another time,” he states, before pointing his attention to the rising floor number of the elevator again.

“That’s what you always say when it comes to this,” Jiang Cheng sharply points out.

Lan Huan’s features slip into a deep frown. His eyes shimmer with emotion when they snap onto him again. “Then why must you always bring it up?”

“Why? Because we—”

“Outside interference is the last thing I want for us, Wanyin,” Lan Huan suddenly says, and it takes a second for Jiang Cheng to realize he’s talking about his guardianship again. “Before anything else, I need to focus on settling the matter of your father and your charges against Wen Xu. Bond marks won’t change that. You understand that, don’t you?” he asks, and there’s an undercurrent of frustration within his tone.

“Of course I do. But there’s something else you aren’t telling me,” Jiang Cheng insists, now that he’s realized it. He's been so wrapped up in his own head that he's failed to notice the things Lan Huan hasn’t said aloud.

“What is it? You can tell me,” he says again.

Lan Huan shakes his head. His expression has returned to being distant when he denies, “There isn’t anything else.”

Jiang Cheng tightens his grip when he feels the way Lan Huan continues to try extracting himself. “You’ve asked me to always be honest with you, and that what I’ve been doing. But you… Lan Huan, why are you still holding back—?”

Another cheerfully jarring chime sounds through the room, interrupting them for a final time. The private elevator doors slide open, and they hear the shuffle of footsteps.

Still staring, Jiang Cheng releases Lan Huan's hand. He leaves his own in the air between them.

Lan Huan immediately leans away. He avoids him by distractedly running his hand through his hair, fixing its disarray from their discussion.

“A-Cheng, I’m home!” Nie Huaisang airily calls out in greeting. Jiang Cheng sends the Alpha a final, pointed look before turning in his chair to face his friend and return the enthusiastic wave he’s sent. “Did you miss me?”

“For the three hours we’ve been apart, yes,” Jiang Cheng answers, his tone softening. “Welcome back.”

Hearing this, Nie Huaisang’s smile grows as he makes his way over, arms open for a hug, bounding into Lan Huan’s previous spot. He croons into his ear, “Aw, why are you being so sweet? Er-ge, you...”

Glancing over Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, it does not take long for Nie Huaisang’s olive eyes to take in what’s amiss. “Eh, did I interrupt something?”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t look in time to witness the wry smile Lan Huan wears when he quietly replies, “In more ways than one, yes.”

But he sees the way Nie Huaisang’s brows rise at the Alpha’s rare show of ire. “You didn’t, A-Sang,” Jiang Cheng quickly says, standing to lead him towards the living room couch. He can feel the Alpha’s stare following him. “Let’s sit over here.”

Slipping back into his usual placid tone, Lan Huan calmly informs, “I will be in my study, Wanyin.”

Without looking at him, Jiang Cheng answers, “Fine.”

Across the wooden flooring, the sounds of their footsteps grow further apart until he drops onto the couch with a silent sigh at the same time the first door of the hallway creaks shut.  

While he is certain that this is the first time he has ever been brushed off by the older male, he can’t completely blame him for his retreat. He's been giving Jiang Cheng his near constant time and attention during waking hours for the past few days.

When his fickle emotions are so troublesome to deal with, even for himself, perhaps it’s about time that Lan Huan’s patience and energy runs thin. They've never had the chance to spend so much uninterrupted time together before now.

“… Was that sarcasm just now? From Xichen-ge?” Nie Huaisang wonders aloud in awe. “Is he in a mood, or what?”

Leaning into the leather of the couch, Jiang Cheng shifts around to find a comfortable position. “Who knows but him? Should we watch something on your laptop?”

Without missing a beat, Nie Huaisang adamantly shakes his head. “I want to hear about what just happened! Did you two argue again?”

He sighs. “I've told you before. Lan Huan doesn’t argue; he hardly says a thing when he’s pissed.” Much to Jiang Cheng’s dismay.

“But something happened, didn’t it?” Nie Huaisang insists.

“Nothing I didn’t expect,” Jiang Cheng mutters. “It can’t even be considered a disagreement.”

When it comes to something as life changing and long lasting as bond marks, Jiang Cheng would never try to force Lan Huan. No matter how much his desire amounts to.

What he considers more important and what he wants more is to understand why the Alpha feels the need to erect a frosty barrier between them at the mere mention of marking him.

Knowing that the process of learning that will take more than a few days or even weeks, Jiang Cheng says, “Forget it. I’ll sort it out with him.”

Nie Huaisang gives him another good look. “Well, are you alright? You’re allowed to be upset at him,” he reminds.

“I’m not upset at him,” Jiang Cheng easily answers. “What’s the point of that? I’d only make a fool out of myself.”

“So what? There’s no shame in that,” his friend swiftly counters.

Jiang Cheng can't stop himself from remembering all of the times his mother flew off the handle at his indifferent, unmoving father and how it only ever caused more grief than anything. Regardless of how justified or not his mother was to be upset.

Getting himself worked up won't solve anything with Lan Huan, he knows. Especially when getting upset would be more likely to cause Lan Huan to recede further, wanting to soothe Jiang Cheng more than whatever else might be bothering him.

It's always been difficult for Jiang Cheng to get past the calm, tranquil surface of Lan Huan's inner world. They've both been so focused on Jiang Cheng's issues, his anxieties, his comfort.

It's no wonder that he's always felt like he's taking advantage of Lan Huan's kindness. He's let Lan Huan shower him with reassurances and he hasn't paid enough attention to what Lan Huan is going through.

"I'm fine," Jiang Cheng says aloud. "I'm not upset."

"But--"

"I mean it, Huaisang," he insists. Glancing at the closed door to the older male's office, Jiang Cheng resolves himself. "I know what I need to do. I know what Lan Huan needs me to do."

He'll do what he's always done. Try everything he possibly can to get through Lan Huan's many layers of masks to get to the real him.