Chapter Text
Light filtered through the threadbare curtains into the Hog's Head's guestroom. Seamus stirred in the bed he had so naturally shared with Dean. Blinking blearily, he attempted to assemble the jumble of erratic thoughts in his half-waking mind. Exhaustion had taken his toll after the horrors of the previous day, and Seamus had not even bothered to undress before he stumbled into bed that night. Dean didn't do much better, although he had bothered to stuff his socks neatly inside his shoes, while Seamus had just kicked them off.
During the night, Seamus had woken up with a start several times, heart racing and sweat on his palms from restless, frightening dreams. Dean, however, had just slept like a log. As Seamus watched him, the other boy didn't look like he was about to wake up anytime soon either. It was the first time since their reunion that Seamus had an actual chance to thoroughly look at him. Dean had lost weight. His eyes looked hollow. And even if he was just barely eightteen years old, Seamus was pretty sure he could see some gray in Dean's hair. Or maybe that was dust from the castle. Still, Dean was undeniably beautiful. Tall, dark and handsome, Seamus thought with a faint, fond smile. There was something about Dean's jawline, covered in a slight stubble, that just made him look so manly. His nose was straight, and apart from the odd cuts and bruises, his skin was perfect. And those lips... they were just waiting to get kissed.
Sighing, Seamus forced himself to look away. He wanted. He wanted to have just one good moment to make up for all the terrible ones. But it was not fair to steal a kiss from someone who was sleeping. And Seamus Finnigan could be called a lot of names, he was no coward. He'd wait for Dean to properly wake up. They would talk. Over breakfast, perhaps. He would tell Dean how he felt about him, how he'd felt for the past... what was it, two years? And he'd ask for a kiss, just one, to try and see what Dean thought about that. Yes, that was the proper way to go about it. Behind him, Dean stirred and muttered his name. Just like that, Seamus' resolve was gone out the window.
“I'm here, Dean. Just uhm... I need to use the bathroom real quick, alright? I'll be back in a few minutes.”
“Alright, just... c-come back, okay?” Seamus hated to hear that little tremble of fear in Dean's voice. Dean, his strong Dean, should not sound like that. Not ever.
“Yeah, mate. Of course.”
In the small ensuite bathroom, he splashed his face with water and peered into the mirror over the sink. Damn, he looked like shit. The water had done little to remove the smudged soot from his face, and his hair was partly burned off. His face was still considerably swollen on the left side, and there were new cuts in his nose and lips. And that was only the part of him he could see in the ridiculous high-hanging mirror. What was he thinking, considering to ask Dean for a kiss when he looked like this? And with how shaky he still was feeling, he doubted he wouldn't make it even worse if he tried to use a cleaning spell. He opened the door a little, and called to Dean that he was gonna take a quick shower.
“I'll leave the door ajar so you can hear me, okay?”
The fact that Dean didn't tell him to stop being ridiculous, broke his heart a little.
He was out of the shower in what must have been his record, but at least he now looked more like Seamus and less like a sodding chimney-sweep. It was only a small improvement, because of course he didn't have any clean clothes with him. Reluctantly, he put the shirt and boxers from last night back on, bringing the rest of his clothes with him into the room. He didn't want to leave Dean alone longer than necessary. And it seemed to be just as well, because e right as he sat down on his side of the bed, Dean practically launched himself forward to hug him tight. To Seamus' horror, Dean was shaking.
“I... Seamus. I'm sorry, I just... I just need to feel you're real, okay?”
“Real as can be, mate. You're not getting rid of me that easily.”
He hugged back, of course he hugged back, holding Dean close against him. Dean smelled like smoke, sweat and dried blood. Maybe it wasn't the best of smells, but Seamus didn't care.
“I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.” He repeated over and over, as long as it took for Dean to stop shaking and saying his name in that pleading, scared voice of his. At last, Dean relaxed a little, finally convinced that Seamus was real, and alive and well. That they'd made it.
They got up, Seamus finished dressing, and they went downstairs for breakfast. Aberforth had laid out a simple, but hearty choice of beans, toast, eggs and bacon. The smells made them realize how hungry they were, and they more or less attacked the food without stopping to talk. So far for Seamus' morning resolution. Still, he wanted to say it at least before they'd have to go their separate ways home. Seamus' mam was sure to want him to come back right away. Maybe he could convince her to let Dean stay over with them for a bit, seeing Dean's mental state from that morning. Dean's folks were Muggles, after all, they couldn't possibly know about yesterday's battle.
“Don't you lads want to go outside for a bit?” Aberforth suggested. “You need your hair looked at, young Finnigan, I'd recommend the hairdresser across Honeydukes. And you could both stand a visit to Gladrags. You don't want your mothers to find you back in rags, do you?”
They followed Aberforth's suggestions, partly because they couldn't quite think of anything else to do, and partly because he was probably right. Their moms would be worried enough as it was, at least Seamus' mom would be. He didn't know how much Dean's mom knew. They paid a visit to the Post Office too, to send letters home ensuring everyone that they were okay.
“You want to go grab a drink somewhere?” Seamus asked as the hairdresser-witch was finishing up the spellwork that'd grow his hair back.
Dean nodded, and smiled for the first time that day. Seamus was relieved to see it.
“Let's go pay a visit to Madam Rosmerta,” Dean offered. “I don't think I can stand Puddifoot just yet.”
Seamus wholeheartedly agreed. The pink shop was entirely too bright.
The Three Broomsticks was just opening its doors when they arrived. Madam Rosmerta looked as worn and tired as they felt, but she had a smile for them nevertheless.
“You fought bravely yesterday, boys. Have a drink on the house.”
She served them butterbeer and they thanked her, sitting down in a twoseater in the back.
“So what do you think will happen to Hogwarts now?” Dean asked, looking for Seamus' view as a halfblood with more inside knowledge of the wizarding world than he had.
“Uh... well, it will need a lot of repairs. But, I don't think it's going to get closed or anything. Don't you remember Bins droning on about how resilient the school's always been?”
Dean smirked. It was good to see him smirk. Seamus swallowed. He should say something now.
Taking a large gulp from his butterbeer, he reached for Dean's hand under the table.
“Hey, Dean?”
“Yeah?” Dean's eyes were focused on Seamus', and it was entirely impossible to think about how to phrase it.
“Ya know. Can... can we... go out? I mean, I like you. As in, like, like you. Go out as in, you know... uh, datewise?”
He bit his lip, wanting to look away, but at the same time totally unable to.
“Seamus.” He nodded, opening his mouth to start taking back his words. Dean squeezed his hand and smiled a warm, big smile that finally reached his eyes.
“I'd really like to do that, Seamus. Going out datewise, with you.” He chuckled. Seamus let out a deep sigh, and felt how his mouth twitched into a large grin.
“Really?”
“Yeah, Seamus, really.”
“Wow. I'd never thought you'd say yes. I mean, we're best friends, like, always. But I thought I was crazy you know, for liking you even better than that. I mean, since we're both men and all...”
“You're rambling.”
Dean leaned over, effectively shutting Seamus up by placing a soft kiss on his lips. Behind the counter, Madam Rosmerta cleared her throat.
“Well, this is the first time I've seen two strapping young lads such as yourselves that're more interested in each other than they are in me.”
They all laughed, and it seemed that the entirety of Hogsmeade warmed up with their shared mirth. Seamus knew now that there was no way someone would stop him from staying by Dean's side. One year of separation had been more than enough.