Chapter Text
“How angry?” Danny asked, hand on his brother’s shoulders.
“Ehh” Billy make a so-so motion with his, “could be angrier.” Could this day get any worse.
“Question You said Marvel’s Pregnant how?” Hal that was not a challenge.
“Omgaverse, M-peg, magic take your pick.” Danny shrugged. THAT IS NOT WHAT FLASH WANTS TO HEAR TODAY.
“So Billy I bet it’s strange for you and Marvel being the odd ones out.” Superman to the rescue by changing the subject.
“Dinner’s always a Spectacle.”
“I bet it is.”
“Learn the spot to bite to make Dan’s hair catch on fire when he refuses to cook my food early.” Billy off handily said.
“You can stop doing that now you have your own fire spells.” Danny pointed out.
“But making him yelp is half the fun.”
“True,” Danny considered before he noticed the forlorn looks on The JLs face’s, “What you didn’t think Billy was all Marvel did you?” He smiled. Billy smirked before running his hand over his face then using a clawed finger to pull back revealing sharp pointed teeth. “Billy has to have some Phantom genetics or he wouldn’t be born.”
“Why?” You just had to ask didn’t you mouth.
“You know the sand Tiger shark? Marvel’s Pregnancies are a lot like that around the end of the fourth month the fighting starts the strongest one wins.” WHY? WHY? Why? Why?
“Anyway, can Marvel pick you guys up or do we need to drop you off?” The brothers looked at each other. Billy dropped his lip.
“Aunt Jazz?” Danny asked.
“Aunt Jazz?” Billy agreed, summoning a phone. Billy typed out a quick message with his thumb before hitting send.
“I was unaware Marvel had a sister.” Wonder Woman sounded a little hurt.
“No, Aunt Jazz is Dad’s sister.” Danny said. Flash didn’t believe it. Jazz was too normal of a name. “He actually has a lot of siblings maybe around 50. Realms Beings Culture is based around a big familys.”
“We are not really sure how many of them are related to us so we call them aunt or uncle until we're told differently.” Billy finished.
“So does she have an ETA?” Superman asked in his polite way of saying he wants them gone.
“We’ll see.” Danny shrugged, “She is working on her college diploma.” Still too normal.
“Well what-” Superman was cut off by Billy’s phone going off. “She’ll be here any minute.” Billy didn’t even check his phone.
“Good good wouldn’t want you to get lost.” Superman’s smile was strained.
“What up Bitchs?” Marvel’s oldest burst through the door.
“You!” Danny snarled jumping off his seat towards Dan. “We called Jazz not you!”
“Jazz is Busy, she's got finals in the morning.” Still too normal, “So she sent me.”
“You're supposed to be on house arrest. Warden's orders.”
“You know my warden’s Clocky. They won't do anything as long as I don’t Ruin this stupid timeline.”
“Clocky?” Flash asked. No one answered, just shaking their heads, Batman writing too quickly to see his hand.
“Phantom’s Bama. They are the Personification of time.”
“Phantom is time’s child?!” Constantine basically screamed, Zatanna looked a little green.
“Yeah as well as the child of Healing and The child of war.”
“That’s it I’m leaving good bye I am going to go stick my head into space and let the void take me.” Constantine left.
“Should we stop him?”
“Nah,” Billy answered, not looking up from that all out brawl in front of them. “Joke’s on him he left before he heard that that combination makes Phantom the ancient of space.” A scream could be heard in the distance.
“I Thought in space no one could hear you scream?” Hal turned towards the door.
“That’s up to dad.” The JL slowly turned back to the fight in front of them.
Danny burned his hand into Dan’s side. Dan snarled in pain.
“Yeah that’s what you get for eating Mr sprinkles.” The JL turned to Billy who had become They're somewhat Google for all things Marvel. Billy just sighed.
“Danny’s pet Kryptonite.”
“Oh that’s ni- wait WHAT!” Superman startled. Billy took his phone out of his pocket scrolled for a little before showing them a picture. The picture was of Danny, maybe a little younger holding a piece of Kryptonite in both hands with little googly eyes on it. In the light of the camera you could see one of Danny's eyes flash like a cats while the other stayed dormant (his blind one Batman noticed.) and the outline of his pointed teeth.
“Well if you didn't want me eating him, you shouldn't have left him in the kitchen with all the other Kryptonite.”
“He wasn't with the other Kryptonite he was sitting in his spot for when I started cooking.”
“Why is there Kryptonite in your kitchen?” Superman squeaked.
“Snack.”
“We both know you can’t cook shit.”
“You take that back.”
“Hey hey,” Hal attempted to intervene, “Danny maybe you could just let it go?”
“I can’t let it go now or he could eat cujo or Captain Kirk next.”
“I’m not going to eat Cujo or Captain Kirk.”
“Who?” Batman asked his hands already typing faster than the speed of light.
“Danny’s pet Hell hounds.”
“That’s… nice?” Wonder Woman tried.
“If I was going to eat any pet I would eat talky-”
“What The FUCK did you say about Talky tawny?” Billy rolled up his sleeves marching over to his oldest brother. Dan looked like he made a mistake.
“ Talky tawny?”
“Billy’s pet talking tiger.”
“Why.” Flash wanted to run into the wall until he knocked himself out.
Chains shot out from Billy's arms to wrap around Dan.
“You don’t FUCKIng ever threaten Talky ever again or I will take the Business end of a boat motor and shove it up your ass then turn it on Capiche?” That is a rough approximation of what Billy said in English half of it was in languages flash didn't understand but from how pale Wonder Woman and Zatanna got it was bad.
“Looks like someone has to donate to the blood jar.” Danny sing songed.
“Wha-hu-eh.”Flash was pretty sure that's what Superman said.
“Billy has a little bit of a mouth on him so every time he swears mom makes him donate a few drops of blood to the swear jar.” Superman just left, got up and walked out.
“I got it. I’m sorry.” Dan relented.
“He knows Billy would do it especially after the volcano incident.”
Billy dropped Dan Chains snaking back into his arms. It looked over before Batman spoke up for the first time and asked a question.
“You all to varying degrees have the same kind of scars called lichtenberg figures.”
“Duh, what do you think happens when you're conceived in living lightning?” Dan gave Batman a dumbfounded look.
“We all have them. Except Ellie, she has these melting scars but that's a different story.” Danny continued. Flash noticed the figures similar to his own before his faded running up Billy's arms across Dan's neck and just all over Danny. There was also a bite mark on the back of Dan’s neck that looks like it had been bitten over quite frequently nope not going there.
“Why are Danny’s much worse? Neither of you seemed to be affected to the decree he is.”
“Mom was a lot more stressed during Danny’s pregnancy.” Dan explained leaning an elbow on Billy’s head. “Billy just haven been born, the seven deadly sins break out, my running away stuff like that.” Batman Looked like he was a badass more questions but Billy cut him off.
“I better get these two home.” Billy cupped his mouth and leaned in to whisper, “before they realize we're in space.”
“We’re in space!” both yelled.
“Nope, nope” The blood red chains appeared again wrapping around Danny and Dan. Now that it was closer Flash could see that the chains came from Billy's arms is that why they're blood- nope not think about that. Billy waved goodbye before continuing to drag the pair out of the Watchtower and into the Zeta tubes. Please be the last time flash ever saw Marvel’s family please? (nope).
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Captain Marvel fell face first into Phantom’s room in the rock of Eternity.
“That bad?” Phantom didn’t even look up. Captain groaned and flipped over.
“If I entered the room I would be forced into a chair. If I stood for more than a second I would be forced into a chair. If I could find someone willing to spar they treated me like I was made from centuries old bone china.”
“You technically are centuries old…” Caption growled
“Don't you dare start that. They have this stupid idea if that I even think about stress I will croak apparently. And they keep on making hints that they want to get me and Billy somewhat out of the rock.”
“Sounds like someone's being babied." Phantom teased.
“And I fucking hate it.” Phantom laughed, “You think this is funny?”
“Very.”
“Ugggg. Phantom, do you know if the A-L-E-X-A is on?”
“Yeah why?”
“I need to ask it a question.”
Tab 5
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