Chapter Text
Bury the Axe, It's Xmas!!
(Adventures of Holiday Barbie and Puppy)
Part V: All Dogs Go to Heaven
Gone. Hah. Imagine that. Fan-fucking-tastic.
The peeling leather steering wheel was strangled and skinned the entire way to the mall. His bones rattled till his elf cap was sideways. Sweaty again, eyes bulging and bloodshot. The Visine in his glove box was frozen solid, forgotten since he dumped Mary Jane. So now he totally didn’t look like he’d cried like a little bitch or anything.
Didn’t matter. He knew this would happen. Knew it. And yet he let it happen anyway like a stupid fucking mutt with cock and balls for brains.
Silence. He drove to work in silence because music sucked and Felix sucked and everything fucking sucked.
Between screams of children he corralled into the sleigh and onto Santa’s lap, Felix’s silly voice memo tirade ran on and on in his mind. The quirky laugh. The bendy accent. The yapping. He wasn’t crazy; Felix had sounded interested in him. Hadn’t he?
The thoughts didn’t stop.
Around lunch, he got a text. Not from Felix, but Changbin.
Bin🗑️
hey man just checking in. didn’t hear from you yesterday. You eat?
You
yeah.
Bin🗑️
…Yeah? With punctuation?
You
i said yes fuck off wtf r th dots for
Bin🗑️
Yikes. They’ve corporatized you. Or you need a nap, brother
You
trust i’d love one but im stuck in hell and that bitch fucking blocked me agn
Bin🗑️
…who? The race car guy?
You
who tf else
Bin🗑️
i didn’t know you were talking?
You
yes we fckin talked and he did me some face in a closet yesterdy
bc turns out he works here 2
then he made a bunch of accts since i blcked him
n we had good fuckn convo
and he asked me on a date
then this mornin he blocked me on all of em allover again
Hyunjin might vomit again. Or he might not. He should not. It wasn’t that goddamn serious. It really wasn’t. He barely knew anything about Felix. Only what he felt like inside and what songs he associated with what childhood memory. Stranger-level knowledge.
You know what that looked like? Involvement. Y’know what Hyunjin doesn’t do? So why the fuck was he so fucking hopeful last night? It wasn’t that serious.
He abandoned his food court bento box anyway, darted into the employee bathroom and locked the door. His phone vibrated wildly in his pocket.
Incoming call: Bin 🗑️
“If you’re calling to tell me your intuition was right or some shit, I swear to God above I will pull up to—”
“No, no, chill. Just…Where are you? You need me to come get you?”
Hyunjin paused, genuinely perturbed by the urgency in Changbin’s voice. They all think I’m a fucking fruit loop, huh?
“Work,” he answered.
“I can…come cause a scene,” Changbin offered, sounds of 401k and health benefits clacking away in the background. “I’ll say you’re my brother or something and there’s a family emergency—”
“Can’t just fucking leave. I need the money for...”
He didn’t mean for the last word to slip out. How convenient that it did.
“For?” Changbin asked. Because nothing slipped by him and Hyunjin was fucking stupid.
“For Christmas. Haven’t bought anyone anything.”
“...Right.” Pause for effect. “But seriously, dude. You sure you’re—”
“Tutti fuckin’ frutti. Gotta go.”
He ended the call with a shaky breath, his back sliding down the stall door. With his head tucked between his knees, Hyunjin began to quiver.
He wanted Felix. God, did Hyunjin want him. That prissy little skank in his gingham skirts and leather gloves. Yes, he’d stalked Felix’s account after the first fuck, before the block. Hyunjin wanted to smell him, fuck him, taste the panty line of the lace Felix might enjoy wearing if he even wore any. An angel, still, as Hyunjin pictured Felix.
Felix.
Something clicked, then and there. On the scuzzy, department store bathroom tile, kneeled on piss-stained grout. Hyunjin found an angel. Divinity in the memory of pristine hole wrapping his junk and a light that reflected off white teeth and a laugh disgustingly holy and pure such that Hyunjin might lick the tiles if they resembled that mouth enough (his tongue had been in worse places before).
That’s what this was, wasn’t it? Some divine test he was finally sober enough to handle?
The phone tremored in his hand. Bees swarmed with correctness and chosen light.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
The vibrations boggled his skull. They wanted the angel out. The harder Hyunjin clung, the higher the voltage cranked. That zapping again—customary to his spirals at this point, but still shook him to reality with the keen sensation of get the fuck up and figure your shit out before you find God in a Macy’s bathroom. Like a shock collar-ed mutt, he did just that. All dogs go to heaven, right?
He blinked, and then he was outside.
He halted midstride.
There were no cars to honk today. Not now. The sky was ripped-toy cotton and charcoal. He glanced down at his phone in hand, felt the weight of his duffle on his back. 2:30 PM. Quittin’ time. Judging by the bells, still in uniform—or many angels were getting their wings in his wake.
Something was wrong.
He made Felix cry yesterday. He was cruel to that sweet face with the gloryhole tongue petting him so gentle and—
A car did honk, now. Nerves so disconnected he didn’t even flinch. Just glared the driver down. At least he knew the something wrong needed time to simmer, else the car could have struck him and he’d be none the wiser, Christmas Ghost of the Uptown Mall. The bees did not provide a solution, this time. There was no candle lighting that could prevent the snare, no amount of key turning, odd-even march, or nail-key-tapping pattern that would prevent God from striking him down or the Devil from yanking his toes.
At least, not as he walked his way to the end of the parking lot that suddenly felt like the end of the earth. A long walk. Long enough for the winter to gnaw at his nylon-clad legs. Long enough for the bitter taste of frosted over pollution from the street above to toss his brain into an ice bath. His phone had rung, hadn’t it?
He rounded the end of the aisle, then stopped dead in his tracks. Fuck, where did he park?
The irritation was more sobering than the cold. He mashed the panic alarm on his key, and—ah. There she is, ye olde’ shitbox.
He stopped the alarm, and as though summoned by the trumpets, out crawled the Slut from the Pink Lagoon.
No, this was no angel. Hyunjin knew that. He wasn’t delusional. Just like the bees were not really bees, Felix was no goddamn angel. Not really. But the buzzing resembled that of an angry hive, and angels resembled Felix.
“Damn, won’t even give me a chance to miss you properly, huh?” Hyunjin said. Light-hearted. He can play too. He really should scrape off his undeniably Hyunjin bumper stickers…
Felix’s lips twitched, batting his eyelashes and crossing his arms triumphantly in his bubblegum peacoat. “If you’re anticipating missing me, then I’ve already won.” He paused for breath, adjusting on his arm a canvas tote bag bearing a chaotically stitched pattern.
Won. The battle of good and evil and temptation. Hyunjin wasn’t a religious man. Like every 20-something of the generation, he had his share of mandatory childhood religious trauma, but never, unquestionably never, had it surfaced quite like it did in the presence of Felix. Do angels come to shopping malls? Do angels know the best places for dual purpose vaping and throat fucking?
Hyunjin brushed past to unlock the door.
“Erm…That a candy cane in your pocket,” Felix tried again, flicking one of the bells sewn to Hyunjin’s shoulder with a giggle, “or are you just happy to see me?”
Hyunjin pulled a lint covered cane from his shorts with an unamused brow raise, then shoved his key into the lock. “You ain’t won shit from me princess. Fuck off.”
“…What…?”
The key jammed, because of course the hell-shit-fuck-motherfucker it did. The fob only worked for the panic alarm, and Hyunjin…Well, Hyunjin stood here, stockstill, eyes glued to the lock and his two fingers white knuckled around the handle like a lesbian’s first honey pot. Divine intervention was determined to make him a believer, and the deadline was today, December 5th.
“Are you…serious, or…”
Was Hyunjin serious? Should he cower in fear of his wrong doing? Should he bow to earth-bound grace—?
Christ, fuckass, get a goddamn grip.
He fought the urge to slap himself, instead whirling around and barking like the dog he was, “Don’t fucking play with me, alright? I’m not the one, so just—”
“I made you these…!” Felix blurted, setting his tote bag on the Honda’s trunk and pulling out a large Tupperware of…
Hyunjin’s eyes flicked down to it. “The fuck is that?” he spat.
Felix’s smile quivered. Unsure in a way Hyunjin hadn’t noticed he could be yet.
Harmless, pretty, boyish.
“Brownies…” Felix said, hiding a stutter in his cheek but it fell out anyway. One shiny black heel twisting behind the other like he had a shy bone in his body. “I wanted to bring them yesterday, but— I-I mean, I made them and I had extra, so I thought—”
“You thought you’d block me again and send me on a downward spiral at 7 AM?”
Felix stared at Hyunjin, at his gall to question the actions of an angel, maybe (shut up).
“I didn’t block you,” Felix rasped, his throat sounding dry and helpless. “I was waiting for you to unblock me.” He swallowed. The tupperware trembled. “Deleted the accounts so you’d remember to…”
Fixation, the bees whispered.
Ah. Peachy.
That raises a new fucking red flag.
Because Felix’s lips were loose in a way his ass could never be, because he suddenly removed the mask from himself that he wore so well back in October, because fucking Felix, that’s all it boiled down to. Fucking Felix. Fucking him. Right? Fucking him ruined everything.
Felix stood there, all petite and unsuspecting and hurt. The series of threatening scenarios Z to A from the days leading up to here and now replayed behind Hyunjin’s eyes, and—
“I can’t do this."
The key finally turned in the lock like he’d made the right decision. Because it was Hyunjin that spoke. He ripped open the door and shoved his duffel into the passenger seat. Delusions broken wide open. Fucking freak losing his shit over sluthole in a goddamn parking lot—
“I’m…not following.” Felix shuffled on his kitten heels. “Can you help me out?”
But Hyunjin ignored him. Felix came close, his pretty hand gripping the door like Hyunjin might try to run again. The tupperware between them.
“I don’t see how a misunderstanding of a simple—”
“Exactly. Misunderstanding.”
The words ripped through Hyunjin. He drew the attention of passersby. He stopped himself from stepping closer. Let his closed fist fall to the rusty roof of the Honda, waiting. In a lowered voice, he muttered, “I’m too fucking slow and you’re too goddamn complicated, Felix, just…Do us both a favor and drop it.”
But he couldn’t look at salvation. Couldn’t. Didn’t get in the car either. He loitered in that terrific silence, using his key like a worry stone, other hand on the car for some sort of stability. His only reliable ride. Waiting for condemnation.
“…I don’t take kindly to no, Mr. Corpsehound,” Felix drawled. Because this was the demon rider from that purple stall, the entire circus right outside. “I know what I want just fine enough for the both of us. ‘Til you figure it out. I like ‘em incompetent. I’ll just keep following you.”
Following you.
“Yeah?” Hyunjin laughed, right in that damn pretty, smug, freckled face. With all the carnie venom left in him, he spat again, “I pegged you for easy, not psycho.”
That shut Felix right up. Cheeks flushed like Hyunjin’s words fucked harder than he ever could. The bells on Hyunjin’s uniform did not make Felix laugh this time.
Still, Felix tried, “You could peg me again easily, if you’d just—”
“I said fuck off.”
“And I say no, so—”
“Don’t want what you’re selling, sweeth—”
“Stop talking over me, you stupid motherfucker…!”
The Tupperware hit Hyunjin square in the chest. Clattering to the ground and landing upside down like buttered toast.
Felix’s eyes glistened. His fists shook. He opened his mouth like he may say something else, but then snatched up his bag with a hand to his mouth and turned away.
But Hyunjin saw the quivering lips, just before kitten heels clacked away. Claws out, but knew when to retreat. Cotton Candy hair disappeared down the line of cars. Sugar melts in rain.
Hyunjin’s vision narrowed to the spot Felix had been standing like the angel—demon, brat, boy, whatever the fuck he was—might poof back into their performance. Then his eyes flicked down to the container. He scooped it, turned it right side up. The iced brownies unstuck and fell from the top with a disheartening thunk.
He made Felix cry. Again.
Instinct said get the hell away, but Hyunjin didn’t let instinct drive.
This devilish bitch with pretty thighs, the one that spurred arson in the heart of the quiet brute, the one that brought Hyunjin’s feeble mind to contemplate divinity on the floor of a men’s stall at high noon—that bitch, dear reader, claimed to like him and brought him brownies. The angel dangled worthiness in front of the sinner like a hound’s milkbone, and he was just supposed to let him get away?
But the bees were warring.
Wrong.
Hyunjin felt wrong.
In every bone in his body there was a little itch that begged him to go against sense, and before he could argue it—
The container plopped into the driver seat. The door left wide open.
Fixation was a terrible, horrible, beautiful thing.
Hyunjin went after Felix.
“Hey—! Wait, I—“
“Fuck you!” Felix shouted back, continuing to flee.
Hyunjin slowed, but didn't stop walking, neither did his bells stop jingling. His jaw clenched as the afternoon parking lot stragglers searched for the source of profanity. The Cosmo and Wanda aesthetic was not exactly camouflage.
Then he took his hulking steps, lacking the drag of the axe behind him made it feel less menacing—more…desperate. Like a puppy toddling after some asshole that abandoned it on a dirt road. Felix wasn’t an asshole though. Not entirely. There’s a joke to be made here about holes and stuff, but now wasn’t the time.
So instead his fingers coiled Felix’s dainty wrist without much thought—the way Hyunjin did most things, if he were being honest—
And Felix tripped from the sudden objection of forward momentum.
Hyunjin steadied him by the padded shoulder, not the waist, whirling the pink coat around.
Beet red under freckles. Skin glassy porcelain, like a doll. Eyes wide and wet but tinged with fury.
So perfect.
“I’m trying to fuck off, like you said,” Felix bit back, his smooth voice cracked as he dragged his fist across his nose with an ugly sniffle of snot. “What now?”
Hyunjin just stared. Like a fucking fool. It would’ve been ugly if it were Jeanette—Jessie? Whatever—but this was Felix. He cried pretty. He cried right, Felix did. Where did you come from, Felix?
Hyunjin’s grip tightened as Felix tried to pull away, but before fury could turn to fear, Hyunjin muttered, not unlike a school boy:
“You’resofuckingpretty.”
Felix’s breath hitched, a hiccup. Looked like he was about two breaths from clocking Hyunjin in the jaw. “What?”
“So pretty it’s driving me insane,” Hyunjin blurted, “and I cannot stress enough how literal I am being.”
“What do you…?”
“That’s one. I owe you two. And the apology, that’s what your essay said.” Hyunjin’s mouth grew more steady than his hands. The one around Felix’s wrist loosened, trailing an extra inch up Felix’s forearm, feeling the skin hidden under the fleece-lined cuff. “You’re cute when you yap. I really liked it. I want to do it again.”
Felix blinked. Then successfully shook Hyunjin off to cross his arms, wiping his tears with a sniffle before he glanced back up. “And the apology…?”
Hyunjin again stood there, with his big dumb hands dangling on either side of his dumb stretched out body. Felix looked at him, and he looked Felix in the eye, taking a step closer. “I’m sorry.”
Another sniffle. “And what are you sorry for?”
The urge to roll his eyes was great, but Hyunjin’s pathetic simp-ery was greater. “Sorry I’m an untrained pup and I bite the toys I like too hard. But I like when they squeak. And I’m kinda stupid.”
Felix snorted a wet laugh, glancing over to the rest of the parking lot as his arms tightened around his chest with a shiver.
“And you’re right that I’m kinda stupid, and I like that you’re right about everything,” Hyunjin continued, “which is technically a third…What did you call it?”
“Restitution,” Felix sighed. “And I know I’m right, fuck you very much.” He tossed Hyunjin another glance, with all the attitude of someone having a million better places to look.
Hyunjin couldn’t blame an angel. The dog knew what he looked like.
Less wide-eyed, more curious, Felix broke the silence. “I’m cold. I have to go clock in.”
“Call out.”
Felix raised a brow, wiping his nose again. “Call out,” he echoed. “Why?”
“So I can give you more data for that graph,” Hyunjin murmured, fingers itching to touch. “And the reimbursement.”
Then, they were in the backseat of Hyunjin’s rustbox of a car.
Strong but petite hands controlled him. With fistfuls of his blond-and-battered hair, he was at the mercy of those hands. He wanted to be. They led the dog’s movements however they pleased and he didn’t have to think. Their mouths suctioned together, sloppy and sharing breath. Perfect red nails sliced along Hyunjin’s sharp face, clawed and tugged until Hyunjin was exactly where Felix wanted him—on top.
Hyunjin obeyed, of course, guiding Felix down across the bench seat, fingers splayed by the pretty pink head while his knobby knee nudged those thighs open. And the kisses were filthy, needy, nasty—
Hyunjin had a great imagination, you see. Sorry he brought you along for that.
For now, Felix was in the passenger seat, Tupperware in his lap, and Hyunjin was driving him home.
At first, Felix was adamant about going to Hyunjin’s place. But that absolutely was not possible since Hyunjin went on a rampage this morning and also: mattress on the floor and pyro pot on the stove. So he made up some lie about it being further than it was worth to drive Felix back home later. Felix, begrudgingly, accepted this.
But Felix still looked unsettled. His fingers clenched over his thigh every once in a while. He changed the radio station over and over without shame once Hyunjin gave him the first ‘Sure’, his eyes avoiding the driver that he, Felix, had either been stalking, pining for, or doing fucking witchcraft, he’d have you believe, to be in Hyunjin’s presence. But sure, yeah, ignore him now, that’s cool.
Hyunjin learned Felix got rides to work from a friend, didn’t much care for driving. Pretty privilege.
When they pulled into the apartment lot, Felix directed him toward the guest parking. Hyunjin backed into the spot, which, Felix—who was just a girl—was switten with, even if Hyunjin's logic was quick getaway, but then…
Red nails curled around the hem of that plaid skirt again.
Hyunjin may be dumb, but he wasn’t blind.
“Hey…Felix, we, uh…”
Big doe eyes glanced over at him, finally. The fawn Hyunjin once thought too stupid to run.
“We…?”
“We don’t have to fuck,” Hyunjin exhaled, glancing down at Felix’s hands again. He ran a hand through his grown out, box-bleached hair, the elf cap sitting in the center console. “We could just…”
Felix fixated on his hands, lessening their grip on the skirt with the weight of his sigh. “It’s not that. It’s just…I wasn’t expecting company.”
Ah…
Hyunjin sat with the urge to worship. Patience was not his virtue. He had to know why Felix was tormenting him. How willing of a participant was he?
“…I mean, I don’t have to put it in your ass—”
“No—Oh my god.” Felix whined, ears red. “My asshole is clean. I 100% anticipated getting fucked at some point today even if I had to track you down—“ He paused, holding up a finger between them. “Not stalking. Confident.”
Hyunjin huffed a laugh, half-smile as he unbuckled his seatbelt, and—
Felix reached across, hand tugging Hyunjin’s back from the door handle.
“Y-You can’t come inside…! It’s a mess, and…”
“…You think I care? We’ll just make it messier,” Hyunjin tried to joke.
“You might not care, but I do,” Felix said, arms crossed again as he stared out the windshield. “I’ll just…Catch you later, or something. Thanks for the ride.” But he made no motions to escape.
Hyunjin’s brow furrowed. Another little Felix puzzle that Hyunjin was too silly to solve. Did he want…?
“…Guess I’ll have to make do with what we got.”
Felix twisted toward the driver’s side. “…Huh?”
“Back is tinted. I have a sunshade for the front.”
“…A what?”
Hyunjin reached in the back seat, pulling out an accordion folded reflector.
Felix’s eyes flicked down to the silver material, then to the windshield. Then he laughed. “…What are you, 50?”
Hyunjin finally got a good breath in. He grinned. “You down, then…? Can’t be any worse than the window display.”
“By all means,” Felix purred, batting his eyelashes.
Hyunjin groaned playfully, unfolding the sunshade and fastening it in place, darkening the cabin of the car.
Just as he was about to say some other dumb thing, Felix’s soft fingers strode up his jaw, tilting Hyunjin’s face toward him.
“I’m sorry, too,” Felix whispered, leaning in. “For being obtuse about all this…”
Why are we talking about triangles…?
“For being…wider than 90 degrees…? Is that a sex joke?”
Felix gawked at him.
“What…?” Hyunjin asked, more nervous than he ought to be. “Geometry was a long time ago, and…”
He trailed off when Felix leaned closer, brain rewired to meet until their noses brushed. Those soft fingers slid into his hair, just the way he imagined.
From this close, Hyunjin noticed the wideness of Felix’s pupils in the darkened car, could smell coffee on his breath. Hyunjin glanced down at the heart-shaped mouth—absence of gloss, this time. Felix’s eyes matched his: slightly puffy and careful.
“Shush, puppy,” Felix hummed, lilted by a sly smile. His thumb swiped a slow arc across Hyunjin’s cheekbone. They breathed each other’s breath. “I’ll try to remember not to use confusing big boy words.”
Oh, fuck.
Hyunjin bit back a humiliated whine. Was that a thing he was into?
“Sounds good,” was all he could murmur, bolted in place like one wrong move might startle Felix away again.
“Good,” Felix whispered back, then closed the last few inches.
The shutters of Hyunjin’s eyelids lowered, but didn’t close entirely. Felix kissed him. Hyunjin watched through the sliver of his lashes.
Why me?
Felix was kissing him, warm, right on the mouth, fingers in his hair he was grateful for having washed last night. Felix had pretty eyelashes. They reminded him of those fluffy boudoir fans back in October. Now it was December, and they hadn’t changed. Of course they hadn’t. Felix was perfect. Felix was angelic and the angels resembled him. Each pass made that truth anchor in his mind. The feel of it—the kiss— was…different now.
Hyunjin hummed low, gripping the center console for balance as he leaned closer into Felix’s side of the car, his wide palm resting on the side of Felix’s throat, his thumb perched under Felix’s chin. He felt Felix’s whimper there. Felt it in his palm.
So pretty. And such wishful thinking for setting such a sweet pace.
Hyunjin slid his grasp around Felix’s nape, squeezing just hard enough that Felix gasped. Hyunjin finally closed his eyes, then dove his tongue into the slant of Felix’s parted lips and began to conquer him from inside.
Felix was instantly excited by this. His fingers tugged in Hyunjin’s hair, his mouth meeting the suddenly frantic pace with equal hunger. The unoccupied doll hand landed on Hyunjin’s thigh like he might vault over the gear shift into Hyunjin’s lap.
It started to rain.
Hyunjin was reckless.
Unchained.
Unmuzzled.
His breath ragged, his tongue mauling Felix’s before licking into pearly teeth.
Why me?
Why am I allowed to do this?
“Hyunjin,” Felix whispered, panting, voice battling the rain beginning to pound the roof and dim windows—much more mercifully than what Hyunjin planned to do.
Because Hyunjin wasn’t done. He was going to fuck the answers out of Felix, the answers to God, the Devil, Heaven, Hell, and Fate alike.
He pulled back to flick saliva over plush lips like he was applying his own damn gloss to Felix’s pout before diving to ruin it all over again.
The feel of Felix between his hands still felt like prayer. Still smelled sweeter than fucking candy. But his taste.
It wasn’t vodka and candy corn like the first time he landed here.
No, it was…bitter coffee and sweeter-than-sweet syrup, something like chocolate tinged by stale cigarettes. Was this what Felix had tasted like behind the window display? Hyunjin couldn’t recall—that single kiss was quick and spiteful. But this, it made Hyunjin feel swimmy-headed. High on sobriety. The tingle in his balls that came from tastebud on tastebud reminded him that Felix could taste, too. He’d brushed his teeth in the employee bathroom, rushed as he was by this morning’s tantrum—but ate sushi at lunch, like, an hour ago.
Fuck. Gross.
He recalled Felix’s earlier comment on why his asshole was clean. Was being with Felix gonna mean Hyunjin always had to be fuckable—oh, God, being with Felix— With Felix. With. Possible—
Stop right there, mutt.
Hyunjin retracted his tongue, letting Felix catch a breath as he kissed down the slim, defined jaw, covertly sniffing his kisses for lingering wasabi—but Felix’s fingers tightened in his hair, then the collar of his uniform.
“Take me back there, puppy.”
Felix didn’t care.
Hyunjin glanced at their surroundings. An apartment garage on their left, trees behind them, and a large SUV beside them. He started to lose his nerve. He couldn’t get a misdemeanor on top of his pending felony, alright?
“What if someone comes out to their car?” Hyunjin gruffed, still pecking greedily at Felix’s jaw, then his pulse.
“That’s my car.”
Hyunjin shoved nose into neck, breathing in with a soft grunt. Eyes cracked open, glancing at the vehicle over Felix’s shoulder. A nice car, expensive looking.
Felix must’ve been self-conscious of that. “M’dad got it for me.”
Something in the way he said it… Hyunjin hummed, dragging lips down veins to place a delicate kiss to Felix’s collar. “Daddy issues?”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now, idiot,” Felix groaned.
“Mm, but it’d be easier to maneuver you in that tank than my shitty sedan,” Hyunjin remarked, pulling back to look Felix in the eye.
Felix stared again, dazed, then…
“It’s also a mess. I fit in tight spaces just fine.”
Hyunjin cocked a brow, but nodded, letting his hand slide forward from Felix’s hair to instead cup his cheek for a singular soft moment before he grunted, “I bet you do, princess…Get your pretty ass back there, then.”
The rain was pouring, filling the car with muted gray light thanks to the tinted windows and sun shade, and Felix slithered his slim, tight little body over the console and between the seats until he plopped neatly into the back bench.
“You got experience doing that?” Hyunjin grumbled, slipping off his shoes before attempting to do the same.
“A lady never tells.”
Felix bit back a laugh as Hyunjin’s beanpole figure flopped far less gracefully beside him like a sack of bones. Before Hyunjin could mock himself, Felix’s hands were on him.
In fact, Felix was quick to hike a leg over Hyunjin’s lap. But that wasn’t how Hyunjin imagined it, and so Hyunjin countered Felix’s momentum until he was flat on his back with a soft puff of defeated breath.
Hyunjin couldn’t recall ever sitting in his own backseat. There were receipt papers and the musk of stagnant water in the foot wells. But the tinted windows and white noise of the weather only aided his tunnel-vision.
His body shook with need, with overwhelm at the idea not only of laying his dick in something warm for the first time since October, but that it was the exact warmth that had made him ache all these months. Sounds far more romantic than it should. Or maybe angels do climb in the backseats of 2001 Hondas with squirrely carnie pyro men, and Hyunjin was simply created to feel that.
He stared down at Felix, and for a moment Felix stared back almost like he wondered the same thing—alternatively Felix wondered what mistake he was making—but ultimately smiled that shark-like grin up at his mutt and knew it tugged that leash just as well.
“Mm, is that how you think this is going to go, puppy?” Felix purred.
It then occurred to Hyunjin just how silent the bees had been this whole time.
“Yes,” he groaned. “I want to fuck you.”
“Charming,” Felix hummed, still smug. And when he asked, “Want?” his candy red nails trailed down the front of Hyunjin’s uniform, bypassing the ridiculous bells and cupping the meat Hyunjin wanted to feed him.
“Need,” Hyunjin corrected, his blonde hair falling over Felix’s cotton candy strands, so close they were. “Need,” he repeated with a tremble. “Just…Let me look at you for a second, shut up.”
Felix’s face went warm, the dirty snow freckles hiding behind a pink flush as Hyunjin’s knobby knuckles brushed down his temple, cheekbone, and jaw. So soft.
Hyunjin didn’t imagine doing that, but he did it now.
Felix’s hands dropped onto the seat in surrender beside his head, his lashes fluttering closed.
“No, look at me,” Hyunjin whispered, the warmth of his fingers shifting to cradle Felix’s nape, tangled in the pink hairs softer than baby’s breath.
The angel only shut his lashes tighter than pearly gates on Devil’s Night. “Why should I?”
The rain again filled the lapse, and suddenly Hyunjin was very aware of his thighs spreading Felix, of the breath rising and falling in Felix’s chest.
“Fine,” the mutt grumbled, “don’t look then.”
Sound reentered the scene, the rustling of movement.
And then Felix was on his stomach, hips manhandled onto the stand of his knees.
Felix caught himself, of course, a reflexive little cat. Arched his back deeper, giving a playful little gasp as his skirt was shoved high. He knew what discovery he left for Hyunjin, knew what secrets he tucked under lace.
“This Barbie comes with accessories, huh?” Hyunjin snorted, tugging on the blue gem plug, more harsh than expected. His feelings weren’t hurt at all by Felix’s denial of his simple request, nah. “You said you had to work, brat,” he mused, sucking his teeth.
“I lied—!” Felix whined. “I planned to fuck you in the backstock room off the clock, or something. Know where all the blind spots are.”
“Mm, sensitive to routine changes?”
Another gasp as Hyunjin tugged the egg shape to remind the hole what was coming.
“N-No, this still works,” Felix said with a cheery tone that ended in a moan as the sticky lube leaking out of him was lapped up.
Driven by impatience, Hyunjin dragged his tongue from balls to crack, and then…
What if it wasn’t real. Is that why Felix wouldn’t look at him? Because his imagination couldn’t possibly paint a picture of divinity in the flesh like that?
He pulled the plug out and let it fall to the floorboards with an icky thump, a self-wrapping present as it rolled in receipt paper. Ah, but he remembered exactly what that hole looked like, perfect picture there. Dog.
His hands stretched wide, gripping that perky ass and spreading it wider, watching the ring he remembered so vividly—the gloss so pretty spread over that skin that it reflected the dark shadow of Hyunjin’s stare.
An asshole. He was staring at an asshole, and Felix was letting him, but wouldn’t look Hyunjin in the eye.
Still, he pressed a kiss just below the gradually tightening gap, then above it. Gingerly, too lost in thought to hear Felix, but felt his muscles twitch with each kiss and lick and prod—not quiet eating, just…petting, something like that.
“You’re real…?” he whispered, not loud enough for Felix to hear.
They were in the backseat of a musty old car, in an apartment building parking lot, surrounding by a bed of receipts and crackling rain, and Hyunjin was going to fuck Felix with his elf uniform around his ankles and a big fucking smile on his face.
“You’re real,” he repeated just before shoving his fingers into the hole.
It accepted him, of course. And what he felt was heat and silk and sticky and slick. He teased between his scissored fingers with his tongue. Tasted like plastic cherries and sweat and soap.
“Y-You don’t have to do all that,” Felix murmured, thighs trembling, “I’m already stretched out, puppy.”
Yeah, but puppy’s busy counting 5 things he can see, 4 things he can touch, 3 to hear— he bit back the truth and replaced it with another.
“I want to,” Hyunjin groaned, “You wouldn’t look at me, now I’m going to take my time looking at every fucking inch of you.”
Felix had some sort of rebuttal, surely he did, but an idea came to Hyunjin.
He’d never been a huge fan of eating ass, if he were being honest, but he was nothing if not a loyal servant of grade-A bussy—
Then, there, in the center console, like a beam of light shone down from the heavens: the first gift Felix had chucked into Hyunjin’s car that first day, before the brownie incident.
Like Ol’ St. Nick was giving him permission to commit holiday-themed sin, Chekhov’s fucking candy cane.
He leaned over Felix’s bare ass with a poorly muted cackle, snatching and unwrapping the nauseating Red 40 and mint stick. Felix turned at the crackle of cellophane, naturally, but Hyunjin’s massive hand held Felix’s face down, nose to the cracked leather seat that effectively muffled the protesting curse.
With Hyunjin’s long lanky body leaned over the bent frame of his angel, he began obnoxiously sucking the candy beside Felix’s ear.
The peppermint stung his chapped lips, grounding him in the peace that came with the tom-fuckin’-foolery he had so dearly missed.
“The hell are you—” Felix fought to turn his cheek, catching a glance of the candy. His doll mouth fell open. “...Where the hell are you gonna—”
“The holy ghost sanctioned our depravity,” Hyunjin breathed, his palm coming forward to cup Felix’s throat from behind. He lifted Felix gently, only to lick the side of that damned beautiful face, staining it with saliva blush as it wrinkled in disgust.
A distraction from where his sleight of hand was heading.
“You said it best, sweetheart,” Hyunjin murmured against Felix’s temple, hot, heavy, perverse, “Merry Christmas, motherfucker.”
