Chapter Text
18 years later…
Clarke sits in her art room that she put together years ago. Tired of having to drive herself to the studio and get someone to watch Jake if she didn’t want to bring him. So now she has a room at home.
She has been painting her green eyes all afternoon. For some reason finding this random day especially hard. She thinks maybe it has to do with Jake being away at college now. The house is empty, quiet.
She swears sometimes she can see brunette locks pass around the corner in the kitchen. Or when she’s downstairs drawing, she hears her laugh upstairs. It doesn’t happen often anymore, but when it does, it takes her breath away. Even after all this time.
She sets her paint brush down and admires the view. The beautiful eyes that their son shares, staring back at her. She doesn’t cry anymore when she paints her. She feels a sense of comfort now, like she’s closer to her.
She then hears the front door to their house open and shut. She makes her way out of her art room to the stairs and sees their son make his way towards the kitchen.
“What are you doing here? I thought you’d be at the dorms?” Clarke asks. He stops and looks up at her. He smirks. It’s at these moments that he looks uncanny to her. His wavy light brown hair, the way he curls his lips, her lips, up into a smirk. The way he raises his eyebrows. All her.
“You painting?” Jake asks. Clarke looks down at her paint stained clothes and rolls her eyes. She begins to walk down the steps to follow her son into the kitchen.
Jake grabs a soda and plops down on a stool at the island. He sighs and then puts his head in his hands.
“What’s up?” Clarke asks, growing concerned.
Jake shakes his head. “I’m having an off day.” He shrugs. Clarke walks over to him to put a hand on his shoulder.
“Classes hard today?” Clarke asks. She went to UCLA so she knows there can be some killer courses.
“No. I don’t know what it is. I just feel off.” He states. Clarke nods in understanding. A long moment of silence passes them and he turns to look at her.
“Will you watch a video with me?” He asks, his voice small and timid. Clarke doesn’t have to ask what video’s he’s talking about. She nods her head and gives him a smile.
The two make their way to the living room. Clarke take’s her wife’s old laptop and does the necessary steps to plug it into the TV. Clarke looks at Jake, sitting solemnly on the couch.
“Do you have a preference?” She asks. He shakes his head.
“Any one.” He says. Clarke looks through the many videos in the folder. Having watched each one thousands of times over the years. She picks a simple one, her wife explaining the mechanics of getting a first job.
Her face comes on the screen. Clarke can tell she filmed it rather early in her diagnosis. Her skin is still tanned, her face is still full, even with her sharp jawline and high cheekbones. She sighs and smiles at the camera. She then claps her hands together and rubs them.
“Alright, this you won’t have to worry about till you’re sixteen. Unless child labor laws get abolished in the future.” She chuckles. “Anyways, I got my first job when I was fourteen funny enough. Now, I say wait till you’re sixteen, try staying a kid for as long as possible. But I wanted to work so I could raise money to leave my hometown.” She holds up her hand for a moment, “Now that’s a story for a different time.”
“Anyways, how did I get my job at fourteen, i’m sure you’re wondering. I do not condone this I must say, but I may or may not have lied about who I was. See, your Uncle Lincoln had a job interview at this telemarketing place. Well they called the house to schedule an interview and I answered and never told him about it. So I just went in his place and explained that I circled the wrong gender. They bought it.” She winks and smirks.
“So I worked there after school for like a good six months until Lincoln found out and went there and let them know they hired a fourteen year old. Always has to be the level-headed one.” She shakes her head but still has a smile playing on her lips.
“So, how did a fourteen year old lie her way through an interview? That’s really what this video is about. Everyone lies in an interview. No one tells the truth, that’s the first thing you need to know. You trump up your accomplishments and use fancy lingo for the previous jobs you held. Instead of saying ‘I worked at a fast food joint’ you say ‘I was in the food service business’ it’s as simple as that.” She smiles her beautiful smile and chuckles a little to herself.
“Have a firm handshake when introducing yourself. Make eye-contact with them when saying your name. Be enthusiastic, but not overly because those people are just annoying.”
“Most importantly, don’t be nervous. They’ll either like you or not. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t get the job…” She sighs and stares off in the distance, thinking.
She shrugs, “Anyways, that’s all I got.” The video ends.
Clarke looks over at Jake when she hears a sniff. He’s crying. Clarke sets the laptop down and makes her way over to him. Surprised, because he’s never cried during one of her videos before.
She wraps an arm around him as his tears flow.
“What’s wrong?” Clarke asks, concerned. He shakes his head. Continues to cry.
Clarke lets him let it all out. She holds him for a good ten minutes as he cries. After awhile he sits up and begins wiping his face. Clarke studies him.
“I know I shouldn’t feel sad, cause I didn’t know her for that long, but…it’s stupid.” Jake says. Clarke furrows her brow.
“Hey, look at me.” Clarke takes her finger to move Jake’s chin up to look at her. He has her jawline as well. His haunting green eyes bore into Clarke’s blue, red rimmed and watery. He looks just like when he was a toddler and he’d bump his head and call out for her crying.
“You have every right to feel sad. Don’t ever diminish what you’re feeling. She is your mother. She gave you her eyes, her skin, her hair, her jokes. You know her. The entire point of these videos she made was for you to know her. You know her just as much as I do. It’s okay to be sad about it.” Clarke says. He frowns, taking in Clarke’s words.
“I miss her.” Jake whispers. Clarke’s eyes get watery as she gives him a tight-lipped smile.
“Me too.” She whispers. The two sit in silence for awhile, looking at the screen of the TV that is freeze framed on her face.
“Can you put on one with her and I?” Jake asks quietly. Clarke nods and gets up to go back over to the computer. She plays the one with her trying to burp him, she had added in at the end the first time he laughed, since it only took place a few minutes apart.
She watches Jake smile while watching the TV and Clarke can’t fight the grin on her face. She turns back to watch as well.
Clarke makes her way to visit her. It’s been about a week since the last time she was here. She brings fresh flowers for her. Peonies, as those are her favorite. She sets them down for her and goes ahead and takes a seat across from her.
She stares ahead of her and reads.
Alexandria Marie Griffin-Woods
1984-2016
Adored Wife, Daughter, Mother, and Friend
Your Fight Is Over; May We Meet Again
Clarke sighs, picking at a blade of grass.
“So I got a big commission coming up. It’s with some hoity toity couple. You’d make fun of them, they’re very snotty. But they’re paying good money so I guess I can’t knock them too bad.” Clarke stares for a moment, thinking about what has gone on for the past week.
“I’m seeing less and less of Jake. I guess he really is a grown up now. It’s weird sometimes, being in our house by myself. I kind of like it though, sometimes. I can get work done a lot easier.”
“Oh, one of our damn sprinkler heads broke three days ago so I have to call someone and get that looked at. I could probably call Bell, but i’m not sure if he knows how to fix one of those things. He’s pretty busy these days though since Gina somehow got pregnant again.” Clarke bites her lip, wracking her brain for anything else.
“Indra and Gus are doing good. I think they’re making a trip out here in about a month. Lincoln and Octavia are well too. Anya and Raven got a call from their adoption agency. Things are really good right now.”
Clarke lets the silence fall over them. Just letting the autumn sun linger on her. The warmth, enveloping her. She then decides she’s been here awhile when she looks at her watch. It’s been over two hours. She goes to stand and lingers in front of her.
She smiles, “I miss you, and I love you, Lexa. I won’t be far away.”