Chapter Text
This time, you didn’t waste time wallowing in your own stupidity and failures. This time, you focused on actually doing your job, which was focusing on the other you. It was as simple as letting your mind swim across a void till it reached the only other interest point nearby.
You had no idea how it worked, or how you knew how to do it, but you didn’t question it. Simply letting your mind wander away. Across the broken bridge and into the forest, where the clock tower stood.
When you opened your eyes, it was your starlight’s eyes. You could see and hear everything they did.
Everyone was already inside. Mirabelle, Odile, Isa, Bonnie– bantering and joking around like there was no care in the world as Bonnie cooked their dinner.
Words you already heard before. Warmth you felt so many times, it became lukewarm. Compliments to the food. Jokes at your expense. Then Mirabelle’s speech, and the assurances that follow it.
“We’ll stay with you, Mira,” you said together with your double. Because what other choice did you have?
It was…… weirdly comforting. To see it all play out again. To feel their warmth, even if lukewarm and second-hand. To know they could still spare that warmth towards you despite the horrible things you said.
Not that it mattered. Because it got rewinded like everything else. Not even your fuck-ups stick.
Soon, it was time for everyone to turn in. Odile on her own bed, Bonnie and Mira together, and you– and your starlight with Isabeau.
You should’ve pulled back then. You really should. You didn’t need to hear this
again
. But you must love torturing yourself. Maybe deserve it, even, to have everything you can’t have shoved on your face.
He called your name, like he always does. It took a moment for your starlight to respond, and you almost thought they would ignore him, but they eventually turned around to look at him.
And here it comes–
“Hey, Sif.”
………………
“Is everything OK?”
What.
That. That wasn’t in the script–
“Sorry! I just– since this morning, I noticed you seemed– a bit out of it.”
Your starlight wasn’t reacting in any way that suggested they were surprised as well. Was this what happened in the last loop, as well?
“You know you can talk to me, right? T-talk to us! We’re a team and–”
“Isabeau.” You were also surprised by the quiet but sharp interruption. “I’m just tired.”
“R-right. Sorry. And here I am, interrupting your beauty sleep. I’ll– I’ll leave you alone now.”
He hurriedly turned around, wincing a bit.
Huh.
Maybe you should’ve paid more attention to what your starlight is saying and doing as well, if it was enough to change what Isabeau wanted to say here. Something to observe in next loops.
~•~
You played with your orb as you and your friends approached the House’s gate. You had almost– no, you had forgotten about these orbs that granted you entrance to the place. You briefly wondered how you got them in the first place, then immediately stopped the thought. There was no use in trying to remember.
The first floor of the House wasn’t too different from the third floor. Maybe a bit less stuffing due to its sheer presence, but visually, you could almost pretend you were back in the third floor.
What kept you in the present and away from crushing memories was your friends. For the first time, you were grateful for your bad memory, because it meant you could hear to what everyone was saying like it was the first time. And not need to force reactions because you couldn’t even remember what the right reaction was.
You could just. Be. For the first time in an eternity. Even if it’d only last a few more loops. You’d cherish it while it lasted.
You reached the first sadness, and Mirabelle once again was pausing and stuttering for some reason. You simply prepared yourself to fight the sadness and waited for her to be done.
[Comfort her.]
You blinked, turning to look at Mirabelle again.
[Offer to talk strategy.]
“Uhm.” Your voice felt stale in your throat, but you pushed through. “W-why don’t we talk strategy?”
Mirabelle sighed in relief (?), turning to you with a grateful smile (???).
“Yes! That’s a wonderful idea, Siffrin!”
And so you were pulled into a tutorial.
[Don’t forget to hold back on your attacks! Wouldn’t want to kill the sadness in one hit, would we?]
Right.
Mirabelle did look significantly better as the tutorial went on, and even Odile, Isa, and Bonnie seemed to be having fun with it. You were put on the spot a few times, but managed to answer the questions well enough.
Was this……… what you used to do when first entering the House? It did seem awfully familiar, so maybe you tried to help Mirabelle this way the first time around. You must’ve gotten worse at reading her, or just become a worse person, if you don’t even think of helping your friends anymore.
[Don’t be silly, Starlight. You’re just rusty on this particular script, that’s all.]
Hm.
~•~
You did your best to pay attention to your friends’ conversation, even if it was just to explain the items you already knew by heart. This was still new (relatively), you should pay attention to it.
“And thyme increases speed! Because…… I don’t actually know why thyme increases speed.”
“Me neither.”
You thought for a moment, then snorted.
“Have something to share, Siffrin?” Odile raised an eyebrow, not turning away from her book.
“Do you know why thyme makes you fast?” Mira asked, intrigued.
“Do you?” Bonnie looked a bit more dubious.
“Of course.” You let a genuine smile stretch on your face. “Because it saves you time.”
……………
“THAT’S IT!?”
“I CAN’T CRABBING BELIEVE IT!”
“So…………… it’s a pun.”
“HAH! Oh, Change, that’s amazing. Good catch, Sif!”
Your smile widened at everyone’s reactions, something warm lighting up inside your chest. Hold on to it. Relish it while it lasts.
The lightness stayed as you moved on to the next room, where you used the key you had already gotten to open the door.
A light flashed in front of you, and passed through you like a warm arrow. Almost like the lightness you felt was made manifest.
“Siffrin? Is something wrong?”
You ignored Mirabelle’s inquiry and continued to turn around to follow that light. It sparkled gently behind you, like a beckoning star. When you touched it, you could feel a part of you being anchored in this place.
[This is a save point! When you die, you can come back here instead of starting all the way back in Dormont! It’ll also save your allies’ current level, and any items you have when you first touched it.]
Oh…………… So it’s another way to loop back into the House.
You let your arm flop besides you, feeling that light dim inside you.
“Siffrin?” Mirabelle was calling to you again. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” You turned away from the star. “Just thought I saw something useful.”