Chapter Text
Steve’s heavy fist instantly connects with Quill’s face before he can form a single, distinct sentence, taking Quill down like a huge sack of bricks. Bucky is unable to look away, continuing to stare. Steve throws another forceful punch, angry and uncaring of the pairs of eyes that have gathered to watch them or the fact that Quill’s quickly becoming an unrecognizable, bloody pulp.
He doesn’t end the beating even when Tony and Sam rush in to hold him back.
At this point, all Bucky can hear is the sound of bones splintering into a million pieces and the soft, pitiful cries of Quill from the floor.
Bucky’s lungs ache and his skin is stained a harsh pink with the endless heat that has quickly overtaken him, sweat forming around the edges of his face. He knows exactly what this means, but before he can properly react, the room is spinning. Everyone suddenly looks very foggy and blurred before him. It’s not until he can hear Nat calling his name that Bucky actually remembers his ability to speak.
The only word he can manage to get out is a whispered stop before his vision is interrupted by pure darkness.
He wakes up alone in what seems to be the medical unit of The Tower, body scorching and heart beating faster than his own thoughts. He never even knew The Tower had a medical unit.
But Bucky can’t seem to care about any of that, thoughts regarding the twins taking over. Are they alright? Did he -? He can’t finish the thought. He clutches blindly at his stomach, hoping that maybe if he can focus he can feel if they’re fine.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Steve says, pulling back the pale white curtain. He’s walking up to Bucky’s bed, cradling his wrist in one hand, knuckles wrapped with gauze and skin almost as flushed as his omega’s.
“Please,” Bucky begs through his thirst-parched throat, unsure of what he wants. Answers? Forgiveness? Sympathy?
Instead, he doesn’t finish the sentence, realizing that he doesn’t deserve anything Steve could give him. His somber eyes fall closed.
Steve takes a seat beside him. “Buck, you can open your eyes.”
Bucky shakes his head - a soldier who’s tired of following rules his entire life. That’s what he is, what he’s always been.
“Are they going to be okay?” Bucky asks, eyes still clenched shut.
He can’t see Steve, but he imagines a million separate emotions descending across his face; none of them positive. After what feels like a sad, awful eternity, Steve speaks.
“Buck, they’re fine. But something’s happened.”
The first tear escapes. He thanks the God he doesn’t deserve to speak to for the safety of his unborn children, hands roaming over his semi-flat stomach gratefully. He says several prayers, even though he hasn’t prayed in a long time. He figures that it can’t be too late to start.
“Bucky,” Steve calls his name, interrupting his reverence. “Bucky, you’re in heat again and it’s a serious one.”
His eyes meet Steve’s. “What?”
“Your condition is critical,” Steve chokes on the words and the impact of the situation hits Bucky as if Steve just told him the sky’s falling. He’s going to lose everything, all because of stupid fucking Quill. Bucky tries to say something, maybe something similar to reassurance, but the words don’t come out at all.
His chest hurts and his skin is still too hot.
“I’m - I’m sorry, Steve. I never meant for any of this to happen.” He means every word.
Quill’s scent has remained on his skin, but the scent is fading into one of a bitter tartness. It’s still a bit overpowering, but thankfully it’s going away. Steve’s scent is the only scent Bucky wants.
“I know, Buck. What that,” His voice distorts around his words, “son of a bitch did was completely wrong, Buck. You have to understand that.”
Bucky looks away in an attempt to hide his sense of shame. “No. If I wasn’t so vulnerable, if my body wasn’t so fucking broken, if I were stronger, he wouldn’t have gotten very far.”
“Please don’t talk about yourself like that. It wasn’t your fault. Some people -”
“I could have lost our children, Steve. Their lives could have been at stake because of me,” Bucky argues.
Large, cold hands cup both sides of his face and he’s suddenly staring up into bright blue eyes. “But they’re healthy. Buck, you have to take care of yourself. Your condition isn’t stabilizing. If not for you, if not for me, do it for our pups.”
He soon becomes aware that it’s now or never. Bucky stares at the heart monitor and IV bag. He looks down at the needle stuck in his arm and then back up at Steve, only to realize that this isn’t the time to be moping. Their kids must survive and they can’t if Bucky spends the precious few moments he has left wallowing in sorrow.
So he grabs Steve by the collar of his shirt and kisses him, deep and full of emotion. The alpha is understandably hesitant. Bucky almost thinks that Steve is going to back out, leave him, and never touch him again; consider him tainted. But after a few beats of no response, Steve - bless him - moves a hand to Bucky’s chin for better access, which allows him to delve his tongue deeper into Bucky’s mouth.
When he begins to feel the warmth of Steve’s body in combination with his own heartbeat hammering beneath his chest, Bucky pulls away to breathe. He’s getting dizzy, Steve’s scent - a waterfall in a forbidden forest - awakening his senses. His body is beginning to fully appreciate the alpha’s attention.
Steve murmurs something about getting a doctor, but Bucky just pulls him back in, pressing his lips to Steve’s soft ones. He just takes what he can. He’s going to pretend that Steve wants him back; that the lust is equally returned; that Steve isn’t just doing this out of guilt for the lives of his children. It’s wishful thinking. Bucky knows. But maybe, for one moment, he can act as if he isn’t disposable.
He’s bare from the waist up, chest flushed red as he pants harshly, but he can’t stop. In his head, his love is requited and he’s forgiven, although even in his fantasies he’s unable to forgive himself.
Steve presses his warm palm to Bucky’s stomach, causing his heartbeat to flutter.
Biting the omega’s ear, Steve growls, “We’re going to our room.” And Bucky almost whimpers with how bad he wants that.
His face is buried in Steve’s neck as Steve easily carries him. Everyone takes note of them, but no one says a word. Possibly because they know that Bucky’s going to be fine, even though he deserves to be nothing but pulp like Quill.
When they arrive at their floor, Steve softly places Bucky onto their bed before disappearing into the kitchen, despite Bucky’s protests. He reemerges with a tall glass of water which the omega gulps gratefully.
Bucky can almost believe that the worry on Steve’s face isn’t because of guilt or pity, but because Steve actually cares that he almost lost him, too.
Bucky places the empty glass down and beckons Steve towards him. A cool hand presses against his forehead as Steve comes closer.
“Your temperature’s going down. That’s good,” The alpha tells him, beaming. Relief floods Bucky’s being, knowing that he will survive this heat for his children, for Steve. He will endure because that is all he knows how to do.
It’s surprising when Steve begins tracing bruising kisses to Bucky’s throat, one hand on his chest and the other in his hair to keep him from moving. Not that Bucky would.
His lips descend further down the omega’s body and Bucky feels like crying, he doesn’t want Steve to be gentle, he doesn’t deserve gentle. And when Steve places teasing kisses along his pelvis, Bucky makes a noise of protest.
Concerned, Steve’s eyes meet his, and Bucky reaches for him, takes Steve’s hand and presses it against Bucky’s leaking backside. The alpha returns blown, sex hungry eyes in Bucky’s direction and Bucky sighs because finally, Steve’s getting it.
He lets Steve kiss him some more before he uses what little strength he has left to flip Steve onto his back. Because of the heat, he’s weaker, more impatient and a million times out of his mind, but he somehow manages to get Steve’s lower body as bare as he is now.
He knows he doesn’t need to prepare himself, especially since he’s looking forward to the burn.
Steve simply watches him, territorial and calm, like a storm about to ravish and take what he can. Because Bucky would let him.
He tries not to think too much, this is beginning to feel like a performance with Steve’s unwavering focus centered on him. It’s been a long time since he rode Steve. Misses the feeling, misses the power surge he gets when he’s on top.
He gets himself into position, taking one last deep breath before sinking himself down onto Steve’s hot, thick length. And it’s as if every nerve comes alive in Bucky’s body. Pleasure spreads through him like a wildfire, igniting his blood and causing him to bite his lip to keep from waking up the whole state.
When he’s finally full he clenches down experimentally, because it never gets old, he doesn’t think anything can compare to the feeling of having Steve inside him. Stretching him full, making him choke, completing the bond of alpha and omega.
His hands rest on Steve’s hard stomach, while Steve’s come up to hold his hips. The grip is not too shy of bruising but Bucky doesn’t care, he just wants to be wrecked, absolutely wrecked.
When Steve thrusts his hips up, Bucky makes a strangled cry. His channel walls clench around the intrusion, desperate to milk Steve of everything he’s got. Steve does it again, particularly avoiding the bundle of nerves inside him that will have Bucky on the moon.
Their rhythm is disjointed, but their pace is fast and unforgiving. Just what Bucky wants. He doesn’t even care that he’s losing control, he’s just chasing after that wave of pleasure that he knows will give him release.
Steve’s getting close; Bucky can tell from his shallow, erratic breathing and the stuttering of his hips. So Bucky moves faster, urging Steve to hit his sweet spot.
Instead, Steve leans up and wraps his arms around Bucky, as if to shield him, somehow. The action causes Steve’s cock to brush against the bundle of nerves inside Bucky and he shudders, coming on Steve’s stomach, his hole clenching around Steve’s dick as if it has a mind of its own.
He feels sharp teeth sink into the claiming mark on his neck, and Bucky cries out loud. He feels the scalding liquid fill his body as Steve finally reaches his climax and they both crash down like waves on a rocky shore.
Bright light gleams across his vision and, begrudgingly he opens his eyes to the sun. He feels warm arms on his body and when he looks up, Steve’s strong arms are wrapped around him while the alpha is snoring softly.
Bucky basks in the moment for a little while, he studies Steve’s face. The firm lines of his jaw and the way the light plays through his soft, blond hair. He’s beautiful, a specimen to be admired and maybe even worshipped.
Bucky sighs and moves to get up, now that they are no longer knotted together. He feels somehow ridiculous, thinking that Steve could love him anymore. However, he doesn’t regret pretending either. That’s what got him through the night, the fact that maybe, in his dreams, Steve could forgive him for what happened.
He’s about to shower and get dressed, pack and leave and maybe send Steve a text or something when he hears someone calling his name. “Bucky?” Shit.
“Steve?”
“Where are you going?” Steve rubs his eyes and is staring at him confused.
Bucky doesn’t want to sugarcoat it, it’s not as if he can anyways. “I don’t know, but Nat will keep you updated until the twins are born. I won’t be around much. If you need anything, I’m a phone call away.”
Steve leans up, lightning fast. “Buck, stop.”
Bucky turns around. “Why Steve? You don’t need me anymore.”
“What are you talking about?”
Bucky sighs. “Your kids are going to be fine, my heat is mostly done, the world doesn’t need saving right now. You don’t have to look at me, you don’t have to hate me. I have enough hate for the both of us. Spare me the Captain America ‘Everything is going to be alright’ spiel. Nothing’s going to be alright.”
“Buck, you think last night was all just an act?” Dawn breaks across Steve’s face. “I did not break Quill’s jaw because I was trying to look tough. He hurt you. He took advantage of you and that is unforgivable. Buck, I’m mad at myself because I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t protect you, that makes me one sorry excuse for an alpha.”
Steve’s blaming himself for what happened? That’s not right.
“I’m the one who fucked up, Steve. Astronomically.” Bucky winces, remembering.
“Bucky you were raped, you didn’t ask for it.” Steve whispers the word and his scent gets stronger as he gets more outraged.
Bucky swallows, trying to find the strength to say the words. “But you smelled my scent, I wasn’t - I wasn’t protesting.”
Steve winces. “You can’t help how you respond when you’re aroused.”
“By another alpha, Steve. My body wanted it even when my mind didn’t.”
“You’re not to blame.”
“I am one hundred percent to blame.”
“Bucky, you aren’t leaving. We need to work this out.”
“What’s there to work out Steve? You deserve someone who won’t betray you.” He tries to keep his voice low, but just like his heart, it is slowly breaking with each breath he takes.
“The only person who broke my trust is Quill and I feel like such an ass for not picking up that he was in rut. I shouldn’t have had you around him.”
Bucky returns to the bed and sits beside him, finally giving up. He doesn’t have enough energy to convince Steve of his moral fuck ups right now.
Steve turns eyes dark with worry on him. “How could you think that I wouldn’t want you anymore?”
It seems to Bucky, as if the answer is so simple. “Because why would you ever love me again after something like that? It doesn’t make sense.”
“I don’t see how I could ever stop,” he places a kiss to Bucky’s forehead. “You're stuck with me pal, for better or worse.”
Epilogue
Bucky hears that Quill has lost everything and even then, the omega still presses charges against him, and wins. Quill loses all of his respect and also his position as guardian of the galaxy.
The Avengers, thankfully, don’t pry but they do provide support.
Bucky still doesn’t forgive himself, but Steve has enough love for both of them.
He’s six months along and despite the critical heat that almost had him done for, his pregnancy is going pretty well.
Everyday his hope for the future grows more and more. He thinks about the bad things less and less. Bucky knows that somehow, he’s going to be a great father. And so will Steve. That’s enough to keep him going even through the bad days.