Chapter Text
“You okay? Do you need to take a break?” Leafy fretted over how pale Pen became. Even as her broken arm ached, the pain took a backseat to how the other omega looked like he was about to spit up what little he had before they left.
But he waved her off, taking a deep breath before he spoke. “Yeah, yeah,” he said absentmindedly as he squeezed his eyes shut. “I got a bit dizzy. I don’t know why but I’m fine now.”
“We should take a breather,” offered Bomby. His tone remained polite but held enough firmness that even Leafy knew that it wasn’t a suggestion, but an order. “There’s no point in tiring yourself out. Your pack can come to us, they’re the ones in good condition after all.” He waved over Black Hole, who kindly lifted a rock large enough for Pen to sit on comfortably.
“No, I… I want Blocky and Eraser…!” insisted Pen. “I want them now! I’m better!” He clutched his abdomen, masking the ripple of pain that thrashed around within. He sharply inhaled as his lifeless pup stole his previous breath. “… I want to go back! I haven’t even made a new nest yet! You’re wasting my time!”
“Pen, please listen to Bomby. He’s only trying to help.” Leafy placed a hand on his shoulder and she forced herself to meet his confused gaze. She wished she was herself from before this moment, the self that blindly assumed Pen didn’t comprehend the terrible news Bomby told them. He was still pregnant, that’s what he kept insisting to her. The sickness hadn’t taken something so utterly precious to him.
His eyes were telling her something else. The veil of ignorance wasn’t as thick as he wanted it to be.
He sat down on the rock afterward and kept his gaze lowered, still wincing here and there.
The scents of Pen’s group lay thick on every blade of grass, tree, large rock, and anything else under the sun a few steps after beta territory ended. Leafy couldn’t breathe in without the thick marking stench threatening to make her cough out loud. It smelled like wet animal fur — musky and moist. Like a furred creature having to brave a sickly humid, hot day. It’s not bad in itself, but she could not dismiss the subtle fear and worry underneath the potent territorial markings as if they feared that if they didn’t mark enough, something terrible would occur.
That it did despite their best efforts. Despite Bomby’s hard work, the worst came to be.
She wondered how far an alpha or a delta could hear. Pen did not stop whining quietly from the pain. It was a non-stop, quiet vocalization that he kept trying to stifle to keep up his facade that everything was fine, everything was going the way it should. “It’s all just dumb preggo pains,” he hissed to her one time. Normal pains that signaled nothing and yet it was wrong enough that it summoned the rest of his pack.
How far did an omega’s pain travel? Leafy wondered about it. “Not as far as I need it to go.” Pin would have been here ages ago if that were the case.
Bushes shuddered nearby before pink shoved past all the leaves and twigs. Eraser didn’t register the presence of Leafy nor the two betas that came with them. His eyes rested on solely Pen, holding his breath upon seeing his vulnerable omega flinch in pain. His hands tightened into fists and then, only then, did the betas come back into view to him the moment he looked for the source of Pen’s agony.
“What the fuck?!” snapped Eraser, “none of you did shit!”
“We need to talk.” Black Hole said nothing about Eraser’s accusations. It was only natural for them to get aggressive when their pack omega was in pain and responding to them only added more fuel to the fire. “Seriously for a moment.”
Pen got off the rock, hobbling towards Eraser the moment the pain allowed him to function again. “Eraser…” He shakily extended his arms toward the delta, a weak and exhausted smile gracing his face for the first time in weeks. His pitifulness melted Eraser’s aggression as the two tried to reach each other once more—
“Take it easy—!” yelped Bomby, catching Pen when the omega’s legs suddenly became weak and unstable. He let Pen sink into his arms and let out another pained groan, one that stopped Eraser in his tracks.
And back came his hostility towards the rest of them. Eraser bared his fangs threateningly at the rest of them. Leafy’s heart thumped painfully in her chest as panic clawed at her from the inside. “I don’t want to see another fight—“ she begged in her thoughts. Her luck had been pretty good all things considering, but she didn’t want to keep testing the limits of it.
“Let Pen go,” growled another voice.
Leafy perked up when she caught a glimpse of crimson among the leaves. The way her heart missed a beat the moment the thought of Pin returning this very second left her breathless. A thin strand of self-restrain was all that kept her from charging into the bushes and throwing her good arm around the long-lost alpha; oh, how she longed to breathe in Pin’s more comforting scent and let her purr her worries away—
But disappointment stifled all the fluttery feelings within her chest. No silver point glittered under both the sun and moon’s light, the shade of red wasn’t as bright and vivid, and the shape was cubic. It was no Pin, it was just Blocky — Pen’s alpha, not hers.
On accident, the two locked eyes. What would he say to her, seeing her still broken and packless. How did she look? Miserable? Desperate? She kept clinging on to the hope that Pin and her deltas would return. She just had to stay positive for when the search party came back! And they were… they were going to bring back Pin. Leafy was sure of it! It was going to happen; she hoped so hard for it!
She just… She just needed to keep hoping. Otherwise, what else was left for her?
Blocky gave her a look of pity (oh, how she was increasingly sick of seeing it on the faces of others), but his brief moment of staring at her put a better cap on his aggression. “Fine then. We can talk,” he said to Black Hole. From the side of his eye, he watched Eraser take Pen away from Bomby and continued once his delta scooped Pen into his arms.
Eraser only managed to turn his back before Pen started to squirm, reaching out for the plant omega. “W…Wait… Leafy, I want Leafy to be with me!” Desperation made Pen’s words hoarse and Eraser shot a questioning glance to his alpha. “Please, I want her—“
“Go.” Blocky uttered it like a command to her as if she were already part of them. She backed away a step, rendered mute from not knowing what to do.
“Of course, I want to be there for Pen!” She was the one that had been keeping him company. She was the one who was there when Bomby broke the terrible news. She watched him from a distance to keep the promise she made when his pack dropped her off here. “But I’m not… with them…” She was waiting for Pin and well, Pin was very territorial! She didn’t want to accidentally start yet another scuffle all because the thumbtack misinterpreted this situation. It was really best that she avoid mingling with other alphas—
The betas with her did not struggle to pick up her internal conflict. “Leafy stays with us,” spoke Black Hole, continuing with his tone of neutrality. “There’s no reason to take her somewhere else.”
“There is a reason,” snarled Blocky. “If Pen wants her to tag along, she will tag along.”
No, no, no! Leafy was getting a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew that tone far too well; an alpha gearing up to fight for what they claim belongs to them. Pen’s insistence that she be nearby was ruining an otherwise peaceful encounter. “It’s not his fault,” she soothed to herself as she looked into the other omega’s big teary eyes. “He’s all by himself if it weren’t for me and Dora being in the same place. And with all the shit he’s been through? I’d act the same no doubt.” Her aching heart for Pin’s pack was evidence enough.
But Blocky or Eraser didn’t show any interest in her the last time they met. Maybe that would still hold?
“It’s fine, everyone,” speaks Leafy with a nervous smile. “I’d love to go with Pen while you talk it out here. It’s really no big deal!”
“Then let Bomby escort you.” With no facial features, it was hard to tell what the floating celestial body was focusing his attention on, even more challenging for someone as occasionally aloof as herself, but even she picked up on the fact that it was a push-back on Blocky. “That shouldn’t be an issue with you, would it?”
The alpha growled unhappily as the thought of a beta being so close to his own sick omega was enough to turn his stomach. They were supposed to fix Pen yet little improvement made him extra suspicious of their true intentions. Eraser, too, prickled at the thought, baring his sharp fangs at Bomby as a bit of a threat.
With the way things looked, Leafy was surprised Blocky agreed.
“Whatever,” he resigned with an annoyed huff. “You,” he turned his attention towards the bomb, “… are to stay several paces away from both omegas. You’re only going to watch Leafy, and that’s that. No talking, no touching, just watching.” Blocky gave Eraser a small, curt nod that gave his delta his “blessing” if Bomby dared break the rules.
Bomby swallowed his nervousness. Even he melted under Blocky’s oppressive gaze to the point of tripping over his first few syllables. “O-Oh yeah! Yes! I… I will be totally fine doing that!” He began to tread hesitantly towards Eraser, but stopped as soon as he was several paces away from both him and Pen in his arms. He didn’t say anything to Leafy. He only looked at her with a pleading look that they should get going so that they could all go their separate ways soon.
As they started to walk away, Leafy wondered how Black Hole managed to remain calm and work something out. All the betas in this group were, at the very least, wary around the higher types due to the potential harm they were putting themselves in except for Black Hole. In her old world, he was already pretty laid back, but even though he was a Beta, he didn’t seem fazed by Blocky. Either he was much better faking his confidence in this world or there was something up his metaphorical sleeve, there had to be a reason for it.
She wished she could ask Bomby, but he walked behind them with his gaze glued to the ground. He looked so small and non-threatening yet that still didn’t stop Eraser from glancing over his shoulder as if the medic was going to pull a fast one. If she tried asking anything, she would only land him in hot water with Pen’s pack and that was no way to repay the favor he did on patching up her broken arm.
“It’s best to keep quiet and focus on Pen.” Leafy could talk to Bomby later once they went back to the beta campgrounds.
Speaking of Pen, he was getting awfully pale again.
Pen didn’t say much again. The only noises he made were pained groans and moans. Beads of sweat dotted his brow. Eraser treated him as if the omega was made out of glass as he rested him on the shady, cool grass beside a small, clear pool. The delta said nothing either, but his face conveyed the growing abyss full of concern towards his packmate. He was quick to scurry off to find a sturdy, large leaf to rip off of its stem to make into a makeshift bowl. Dipping it into the clean water, Eraser gathered enough water to bring it back to Pen.
“… no…” whined Pen, looking away when the edge of the waxy bowl neared his lips. “Don’t want…”
Eraser frowned. He held onto the makeshift bowl for a moment longer, looking like he held on to the hope that Pen would change his mind. But the change of heart never came despite it being a bitter pill to swallow as he slowly got up to dump the water back into the spring.
Leafy stared in silence as she watched Eraser come back to kneel by Pen’s side. She watched the delta place his hand on Pen’s chest, stroking him in soft circles. Even through the pain, a faint blue blush appeared on the omega’s cheeks and his weak attempts at purring were pitiful at best as Eraser pet him. The delta’s hand began to move away from Pen’s chest, ghosting down along his snowy white plastic until he—
Pen let out a startled squeak. An intimate moment shattered as he hastily pushed away Eraser’s hand before he could reach his midsection. Leafy was not more than a few paces away and it was to her that Pen scrambled over to. His hands felt cold to the touch, but he stood behind her, essentially using her as a living shield.
Eraser stared at them in mild confusion.
Bomby looked away from the scene. He had been smart with his positioning, which was avoiding almost all of Eraser’s field of vision. Being out of sight and out of mind was a key beta policy and one that would save him the most trouble. After all, he (and Leafy) knew why Pen became fidgety the moment Eraser strayed too close.
“Pen…” Eraser speaks his name soothingly. Each act of his became slow, deliberate, obvious, to the omega pair standing right before him. No action of his would be shrouded else he wanted to spook his own omega. “What’s wrong, bud? Did I touch something painful?”
Leafy tried her best to look back at Pen, but he was pressed pretty tightly against her back. He grabbed her by the shoulder (or above her shoulder for her healing arm), locking her into her current position. She waited for him to speak for himself, but seconds passed and nothing was coming.
Unable to deal with the growing hurt that clouded Eraser’s gaze, Leafy decided to speak on the other omega’s behalf. “S-Sorry,” she stuttered at first, “he’s just been going through a lot right now, it’s kind of sensitive stuff.”
“Should I tell him the news?” It tickled her mind as it might clear everything up, but Black Hole most likely was handling that matter with Blocky. If Black Hole was not afraid of the presence of an alpha, then he knew how to handle one. But Bomby? In case Eraser decides to blame him for “causing this”, he didn’t want to put the medical beta in a tight pinch when there was no one to help him.
Plus, Pen didn’t believe in it himself. She didn’t want to remind him of his unfortunate reality.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” replied the delta a bit sharply. The tone alone made Leafy flinch; ingrained fear of an angry delta of alpha activating without a second thought begged her to flee, but she continued to stand her ground. “I am talking to Pen.” He then narrowed his eyes in slight suspicion at her. “Are you planning something…?”
“P-planning?” Leafy once again tripped over the syllables. “Planning what?”
“You and Pin.” Eraser didn’t take a step, but the Plant omega was already trembling at the thought of what he might do.
“He wouldn’t… outright attack me…!” She clung on to the hope that Pen clinging on to her would give her some sort of protection from Eraser’s suspicions. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t even seen Pin since you guys found me!”
The pink delta let out an unhappy snort in reply. “Then why is Pen hiding behind you now?!” The emotional pain came back to cloud his gaze. “Why did he push me away like that? I bet Pin was just using you as bait to nab another omega for herself!”
Fury crackled in her chest at the accusation. “She wouldn’t!” hissed Leafy bitterly. “She wouldn’t ever do that!”
None of them would! Pin herself wouldn’t get the idea nor would Coiny and Firey egg the idea onto her. They had managed without an omega for so long and as far as Leafy could tell, they had their eyes for no one else.
Eraser uttered a single sentence that shook her belief. “How can you be so sure?”
Leafy blinked, mouth agape yet no words came through.
“How can you be so sure that Pin doesn’t want another omega?” Eraser twisted the metaphorical knife planted in Leafy’s chest. His eyes wandered down to her patched arm. “Are you so sure Pin is coming back for you?”
“Shut up!” snapped the Plant omega. “Don’t you dare say that to my face!”
Bomby’s eyes widen in surprise. Instinctively, he stepped forward but Eraser snapped his jaws at him. “You stay,” he barked at the beta.
The beta bit his lip. His gaze hardened and his hands balled up into a tight fist.
He took a step back.
“Play hero with someone else,” Eraser warned to Bomby. The beta frowned in response, but again, remained neutral.
Pen’s hand brushed along her side. He stepped out from behind her at last as soon as Eraser’s attention turned back to Leafy. “Eraser, please, it’s just—“
He swallowed. He brought his hands close to his chest, clasping them together, as he allowed Eraser to approach.
Longing wormed around in Leafy’s heart once more. Deep and aching longing as she watched the delta wrap his arms around Pen to pull him close. “I want Pin.” She stared and that’s all she could come up with; she wanted Pin and longed for the thumbtack to do the same to her. With each hour that passed, more of Pin’s scent rubbed off of her and the weight of the loss increased. What was it that kept Leafy going? The hope that she and her pack would come for her? The fact that she was unclaimed? Thus in some deep part of her mind, she could slough off her time with Pin in case she decided to take on another alpha?
“That’s not going to happen,” she told herself. “I don’t want anybody else. I just want Pin.”
“Don’t pick a fight with Leafy, please,” Pen’s soft cooing made the tension in the air dissipate. Eraser nuzzled himself into Pen’s shoulder, rubbing his face and cheeks into the omega’s body to mark him once more. “No fighting… Just none of it, I don’t want to see it…”
His delta said nothing out loud, but Leafy didn’t miss the way he leaned close to Pen’s ear and whispered something to him. Eraser closed his eyes and went back to his cuddling, his hand tracing little circles on his chest as his other arm gently guided Pen to sit on the soft grass.
Longing. Yearning.
Pining.
“Isn’t it so funny that word happens to exist?” Pining. Pining for Pin. The word was pronounced differently than Pin, but it began with her name regardless. She chuckled under her breath as she tore her gaze away from Eraser cuddling and holding Pen; she pined so much for Pin that her words turned into garbled nonsense.
All of it starts with her name.
“I can’t wait for her to come back.” To hold her, to cuddle her. “Would it be greedy of me to ask for another nest?” Leafy’s lame arm throbbed in response, but her weak senses still managed to paint a picture of the hypothetical. Fuzzy, clean blankets of light, pastel colors. Stuffed pillows underneath to spare her thin body from the tough ground and enough space to sleep stretched out.
With the thick scents of Pin’s pack marking it too. If they were gone, she could at least still be comforted by the fact that they would return soon enough. Perhaps with food, maybe after ensuring their “territory” was free from rival packs, but they would always come back for her. She could invite Pin, Coiny, and Firey to stay there with her considering their tendency to sleep on rougher terrain. Their bodies pressed her from all sides, giving Leafy to pick of the litter on who she wanted to snuggle against.
In her imaginary world, Pin cradled her while she slept.
She didn’t even need Pin to be awake in that nest. If the thumbtack slept beside her, that’s all Leafy needed. She could hear her soft breaths, her subtle tossing and turning, or place her hand on her plastic body. Mundane characteristics, but ones that were robbed from her. “I’m so stupid for not appreciating it.” So utterly stupid. She didn’t know how good she had it back then where the most pressing thing in her mind was how to get home.
Or again; if she even wanted to.
Home didn’t have what she was looking for and it was about time Leafy faced the music in that regard. If it was Pin that she was interested in, then home didn’t have that. She thought she had a chance and it would be a chance she lost if she stuck around here for too long, but how long did she want to keep deluding herself?
“How long do I want to keep telling myself that Pin is interested in me?” The Pin back at her “home”, the one that didn’t fret over Leafy’s wellbeing. They were friends, but… really surface level. They exchanged greetings, and polite pleasantries, then went their separate ways. Leafy kept her heart’s door open on the off-chance that Pin was taking her time to process the fact that maybe… just maybe something stirred in her too like it did in the lemon leaf.
The day she hoped for continued to elude her. They exchanged greetings, and pleasantries, then separated. Over and over, each time Leafy watched from the corner of her eye to see if the thumbtack hesitated to leave from her side back then. “A moment is all I need from you,” her thoughts spoke each time it occurred, “just a moment of hesitation and I’ll know that we both feel something about each other.”
Leafy was the only one who hesitated after each separation.
The lemon leaf omega peered up at the sky, contemplating what circumstances caused her predicament. Was the Leafy of this world long dead? Was that why she was able to slip into this place? Did her version die too soon to meet any of her old acquaintances and thus, she was able to take her place without a single hitch in space? Did some ancient being far beyond her understanding take pity that the Pin of her old world wasn’t returning any of her sentiments and thus, took her to a place where there was a version of her crush that wanted her?
Did she want to go back? Did she really?
“I don’t…” Her internal monologue cut short as she searched through shelves of fuzzy, gray memories. Each one stemming from her original, old world felt planted in her brain; moving pictures without much emotion attached to them. She had lots of old-world Pin, observations of the parts of the thumbtack Leafy appreciated the most. They still managed to stir up some love in her heart, but a chill crept up through her spine.
“I don’t really know her much. Anymore.”
The chilling realization seized her by the throat. Her original home, the thing she desired so much to get back to at the start, turned into a fuzzy concept overall. Feelings of familiarity no longer surfaced as intensely as they once did; they’d reached the point where they were strange memories she had, but nothing in her body stirred in longing to come back.
In fact, it was more the opposite. Fear, nervousness, and anxiety all broke the surface when she thought about going home. Her old world became a stranger to her and with it, the old world Pin.
Not much different than how it was when the lemon leaf was actually there in the flesh, then.
She knew more about Pin the alpha, the one in this world, than the one she spent so much time pining over. How funny was that?
Leafy stared at Eraser and Pen cuddling, purring in each other’s embrace. The delta either forgot both she and Bomby were there, or just forgot the fact, as he pressed his lips into Pen’s. Kisses between lovers and the lemon leaf picked up on how desperate the recovering omega leaned into them. Pen’s milky scent was laced with anxiousness that demanded soothing and Eraser was only responding in the most tender ways possible.
“I want that,” Leafy thought. “With Pin.”
Her mind forgot that the old-world Pin existed the moment Leafy stopped thinking about her original, distant world.
Blocky watched from the distance.
The air nearby hummed from the sheer celestial weight emitting from Black Hole. A hollow hum that reminded the alpha of the few times he was face-to-face with the reaper in the distance.
He could swear death hums the way the air around Black Hole does.
“Glad he’s not an alpha.” The odd thought wormed its way into his head. He couldn’t think of a single way to counter the celestial body. Limitless telekinesis made him a formidable foe that singlehandedly protected the rest of the beta pack he was in, but had he been born with the innate impulsiveness and aggression as an alpha, the world would look much more different.
Most likely for the worst.
Perhaps that’s why Blocky listened to him better than other betas. A group of 50 alphas wouldn’t be enough to put down Black Hole when he could easily flatten them all with a well-placed boulder.
“Bomby has given it his all, I assure you,” spoke Black Hole calmly. “And if we were to paint this in a more optimistic light, one life saved is better than none at all.”
Blocky kept his eyes on Pen safely in Eraser’s arms. He watched his delta comfort and shower him with affection. The sight of it created feelings of warmth and desire to go to the same. His very special, precious Pen.
He swallowed the sourness in the back of his throat. His special Pen, that was all. Only Pen and… no one else. No one else to wait for, no litter to expect.
“Yeah,” was all the red cube could reply with. He cringed at the sound of his voice cracking slightly.
“In these cases, Bomby would recommend that you and your delta skip Pen’s next heat period. Wasting disease makes them…” Black Hole hesitated for a moment. “…weakened for a while. Trying for a litter again too soon creates more harm than good.”
The humming grew a touch louder as the celestial being inched closer. “I’m… sorry for your loss,” he concluded. “Be gentle with your omega, that’s the best thing you can do now.”
Blocky said nothing back.
He merely watched Pen. A prickle of fear poked around in his chest knowing the kind of pain Pen bore and he could do nothing to take it away in its entirety.
He got up, ignoring Black Hole, as he walked through the forested growth towards the rest of his pack.
