Chapter Text
Sachsenring, Germany
Jorge frequently found himself awake at around 3am, it was always as if someone had woken him up, as if someone was calling out his name. Everyone else was asleep, of course they would be, no sane or sober person was awake at this time in the paddock.
He craved a vodka, which was odd, it wasn't normally his go too drink, not that he was supposed to be drinking. He was surprised his father allowed the champagne on the podium, but life was full of surprises wasn't it.
It would have been a great moment for some insightful quote about life and manifestations, but he couldn't think of any from the top of his head. Somewhere under his mattress hidden in a couple pairs of socks he had a couple packets of cigarettes stashed. He'd picked up on several pieces of slang, one of the curses you gained from travelling like he did, the British called them Fags.
He used it quite commonly, Valentino had picked up on it too, the looks they got sometimes were murderous, but he can't do anything about their miseducation. Dani didn't like it either, it wasn't like he was insulting him in anyway, besides it would be awfully rich coming from him, they fucked half the year.
He liked to think his father didn't know about them, it was hard when the stench stuck to you like nobody's business, there was only so many times he could blame Valentino before there was suspicions.
It was their parents fault really, okay sure they had been told smoking wasn't bad for them, they even prescribed it for asthma in the 40s. They spent their childhoods watching their parents smoke, grandparents smoke and then when they went to the shops with pocket money they'd buy the candy sticks. With the now long gone orange ends mimicking the appearance of the cigarettes, they'd pretend to smoke them and their parents wouldn't discourage it.
One kid in their school would sell them on for 10 cents, he'd nick them from his dad and use the cash to pay for his own packet. Entrepreneur in the making they said, last Jorge heard he was in jail for fraud, his dad used him as an example an awful lot.
He sat on the external step to his motorhome smoking, staring up at the stars, the ones he could see, there was still light pollution from the paddock and the nearby town he couldn't and wouldn't even try to pronounce.
That and this odd collection of herbal teas, they were his current obsessions, outside racing of course nothing would rival that. He liked the different flavours infusions and how they tasted different with each steep, maybe it was only a temporary thing, maybe not, it was his decision on how to spend his money.
Sometimes he wished he got high from it, that there was a kick, like that one time when he was in the Netherlands. He had snuck out with some riders on the Sunday night into Amsterdam, edibles and prostitutes, he didn't remember much but if he took Cals word for it the night was wild.
He managed not to crack and tell his father, he would have been slaughtered, he'd ratted himself out before and the punishment for a glass of dry red wine was bad enough.
The tea took his mind off things, the process of making it needed too much attention, he'd have one in the morning if he was feeling particularly nervous, there were certain flavours that helped with that.
Dani was bothering him in particular, the time they spent in the winter break together, he always felt so guilty after Dani's heats. He never knew what to do with himself, how to process his emotions, there was no difference between the different relationships to him, he couldn't differentiate them.
Dani was always so soft, gentle with his actions, whenever he saw a dog on the street he'd stop to say hello, if there was a kid in the crowds of fans waiting for him he picked them out first. He hated that he wanted to keep Dani for himself so badly, but he wouldn't love him, he couldn't love him, not like that.
-
"Are you going for another win?", Dani what kind of question that was, he always went for a win, it was just the win didn't always go for him.
Life was a bitch.
"Well yeah,", he could go for a streak, "maybe one day I'll get ten in a row", Jorge nodded at him, okay he knew it was a bit of a stretch to aim for ten wins in a row at one circuit, but Dani could dream.
"Well, I hope you know I'm not going to go easy on you", Dani looked at Jorge, if Jorge ever went easy on Dani it would be concerning.
"I hope so", Jorge gave him a slap on the shoulder walking away from him, it was another one of the rare moments they actually managed to get along.
Why was it that they always found themselves fighting?
They seemed to constantly be at each other's throats, they were like some sort of oxymoron, so conflicting yet appearing in conjunction. Dani hated him, with all his guts, all of Jorge Lorenzo made his blood boil, but still they were drawn together.
He hadn't had enough coffee for this, Dani didn't like to have to see Jorge before he had too, which normally meant on track, if he was lucky he wouldn't have to interact with him until after lunch on a race weekend. He forced himself away from Jorge, Dani didn't want to fall in love with him even more, he hated it.
It seemed the more he fell in love with Jorge Lorenzo the more he hated him, his face, his hair, his soul, with every fibre in his body Dani loved yet hated Jorge's existence.
This sort of hatred or emotion wasn't welcome not in the racing world, feelings like that for anyone were dangerous. It could cause you to loosen your focus, cause an accident, make you lose a race, a championship even.
He kicked a wall, it wasn't the smartest thing to do but there were worse things that he could do, if Jorge was here right now he would hit him, just an example.
He swore, if he'd broken a toe Dani would be pissed, that was the last thing he needed, it wouldn't hinder his performance, not really but it wasn't ideal. No injury was ideal you didn't want pain on the bike, you needed to focus, you needed your full attention on the riding, if you wanted to finish.
"Ciao", he wasn't nearly as bad as Jorge, but Dani didn't want to talk to Valentino either, he wanted his god damn coffee and this walk to hospitality - curtsy of his broken coffee machine - had too many people for his liking.
"Valentino", he hoped his tone would tell the Italian that he was grumpy, maybe it would, but probably it wouldn't.
"Come Stai?"
Did he need to wear a sign in bright bold neon green letters saying 'leave me alone'.
Dani shrugged hoping that would be good enough an answer for Valentino, Dani wasn't in the mood for speaking Italian or English. Valentino would speak Spanish, but Dani was full on looking for an excuse to get away.
"Quiero Café", Valentino paused for a second, was he processing what Dani had said.
He only said he wanted coffee, most two year olds could figure that out. Maybe it was too early for him too, surely it was a sign they should both go their separate ways.
"Don't we all", Valentino laughed, it was loud, a nearby pigeon even flew away, Dani flinched, it felt like he shouted right in his ear.
Dani hummed glaring at him, he had hoped Valentino would leave him passing the Ducati hospitalities but apparently not. It seemed Valentino was going to follow him to the Honda hospitality, maybe someone would come along and free him, Marco or Casey maybe.
-
He would see Dani about the paddock all the time, one of the curses of working the same job, Dani always seemed a little iffy with him when other people were about, it was like he didn't want them to know they got along.
He'd admit it changed for him after the king forced them to shake hands, something about that physical contact, it was sweet. Maybe it was an imprint, some sort of weak long term connection they had formed Jorge would never know, but soon after he found himself offering to help Dani through the heats if he needed.
He was delicious, God Jorge loved the way the Omega reacted to his touch, when he'd run his fingers down his thighs teasing him, watching him squirm in frustration. The way he reacted to his mouth, when Jorge took his cock in his cock in his mouth, he's grab his hair, or scratch the back of his neck when he shaved it off.
When Jorge fucked him, the way he scrunched his face up groaning in pain at the beginning and he got to watch him relax and fall into the flow, enjoy it. He may be quiet in the paddock but boy did Dani know how to moan, loudly, more than once Jorge thought he might have to gag him if they wanted to stay secret. He screamed when they were at home, pleading at him, more, stop, oh no's, like he didn't know what he wanted.
He'd whimper, laugh, cry, giggle all in between some of the most delectable noises Jorge had ever heard and he loved the sound of a four-stroke engine. Jorge loved it, every moment, knowing how he made Dani feel, what he reduced him too, it filled him with pride, some sort of Alpha absurdity.
And then the guilt would hit, crashing down on him like a North Sea wave, drowning him in indescribable sorrow and pain. He gave to Dani and took from Dani but one day, at one point, it wouldn't be enough, he wouldn't be enough, what he could give him wouldn't weigh up to his expectations of a relationship, of a life.
Dani was like nicotine, sickeningly addictive and toxic to your lungs, it confused Jorge so much yet he consumed so much of his mind, the obsession of him went against everything he'd known. He was proud of him regardless of how he finished, even if he beat Jorge himself, he wouldn't tell the press, but it never bothered him as much as he made out.
He saw Dani in the morning, with Valentino, he had to convince himself he wasn't jealous, he wasn't, Jorge didn't do jealousy. Valentino didn't seem to get that Dani wanted to be left alone, Jorge figured that out, at least he could figure it out, where it seemed Valentino couldn't. Dani wanted his coffee, he needed it to function, he was grouchy without it and Jorge wouldn't stand in his way, even on heats, the breaks were coffee filled and croissants.
He wished he'd known Dani needed it before he saw him, he could have brought him some, maybe he'd like him more, Dani seemed to dislike him half the time, the other half he was oppositely oddly sweet. It didn't make sense, were they friends or not, was it rivals that fucked or something more positive something more exclusive. It hadn't bothered him before, but all Jorge knew was that he wanted to make Dani happy.
-
Dani wanted to hide after FP1, not because he had done particularly badly, more he was tired and wished he could go to sleep. His circadian cycle was all over the place, it wasn't particularly useful, but he woke up earlier than his body wanted too and fell asleep to early too. It lacked major consistency, he slept in all the time in the off season falling asleep beyond 2am it seemed to be the natural comfortable routine for him no matter how hard he tried.
He'd nap as much as he could out with the garage, and relied far too heavily on coffee to get through the day, sometimes he'd see Jorge in the paddock who'd just hand over his 'own coffee'. Dani suspected that Jorge made one to give to him, Jorge didn't drink his coffee like he did, nor did he drink it much at all. Jorge really confused Dani sometimes, it was like he sought him out for some reason or another but couldn't wait to get away from him.
"Hey" Dani looked up, this was the second time he had seen Jorge today, it wasn't even past noon, he wasn't suspicious or anything it was just odd. Jorge kept swallowing, it was making Dani nervous, it was unlikely he was doing it deliberately but that didn't mean he didn't feel it any less.
"Hi", Jorge sat beside him, Dani turned over his data sheets, he didn't think for a second that Jorge was here to see his data, but he had wondered into the Hondas hospitality.
"How's it going?", That was an uncomfortable question for some reason, maybe it was the way Jorge said it, with such softness and care. It was actually rather unlike him, normally he was blunt or emotionless, it actually freaked Dani out.
"Fine", Jorge inspected the fake plant on the table in front of him, "Maybe a bit tired, but that's nothing new". Jorge hummed leaning back in his chair swinging it onto two legs, Dani hoped he wouldn't fall, it sounded like a lot of paperwork.
"Do you want a coffee?", Dani frowned, what was it with Jorge and getting him coffee, it seemed to be a new obsession of his. "I can make you one if you want", had Jorge been making these coffees himself this whole time?
"Umm, okay,", Dani was in shock slightly, "I mean if you want to", Jorge stood making his way over to the coffee machine leaving Dani in his own thoughts. What was up with Jorge, what convinced him to come into the Honda hospitality and offer to make him a cup of coffee from a machine less than 5 paces away from him.
He didn't really pay attention to Jorge, but he was also well aware of the engineers and other members of Staff in the room watching them both, he wasn't embarrassed, he just didn't know what to say. Jorge soon placed a mug down in front of him once again joining him by his side, this time a magazine in hand, how was he even allowed in here.
"Here you go", Dani looked in the mug at the coffee Jorge had made, "it is how you like it yes?", Dani hadn't tasted it yet how on earth was he supposed to know. He nodded nonetheless, it seemed to be too hot to drink right now so he wouldn't know for a little while, provided all the previous ones Jorge had given him were fine he assumed this one would be also.
"Thank you", Dani sighed, he was grateful for the code don't count him as being ungrateful, he watched Jorge as he read through a page of the Magazine before placing it down sighing also stretching his arms up before rubbing his hands over his face.
"Right", Jorge stood up, Dani looked up at him, Jorge stepped away from the table picking up a jacket, "I'll be off then". With that Jorge left, leaving Dani sat in hospitality confused with the coffee cup and the magazine.
What the fuck just happened?
-
Why did he bail like that, Jorge sat with his head in his hands asking himself over and over, why did he do it, it wasn't too uncomfortable. Or was it, had dropping into Honda been a step too far, he wouldn't really know now because he packed it in before he even started a proper conversation with Dani.
Why was he so hard to talk to sometimes, Jorge knew a lot about him, his interests, how he liked his coffee, how if he tried to sleep before midnight he'd end up getting less sleep and wake up grumpy. Things like that, somewhat stupid things that maybe he shouldn't know, not if he was only there for the sex.
Especially that, he needed to stop himself, not get involved, stop with the coffee, stop going out of his way to talk to him, stop other things, whatever they were. He told himself at the beginning, he wouldn't let Dani fall for him and now Jorge was confused with himself, he didn't know what he wanted, he needed to stick with what he came for, it was sex and there was nothing else, no more extra nice to Dani.
But he didn't want to, and that scared him, he didn't think he was into women let alone men, he would beat describe it as into no one, not in that way, he didn't want to marry them or date them or anything like that.
Sometimes Jorge wished he was normal.
His mother would ask if he had a girlfriend and sometimes he'd actually want to disappear, how was he supposed to explain that to her, he couldn't, not when he didn't understand it himself.
And then there was Dani, beautiful, lovely, soft Dani and Jorge would, if Dani wanted to Marry him he didn't think he'd be able to say no. That made him feel sick, because it was new, it didn't make sense, it didn't follow his pattern, he was so frustrated he wanted to cry.
He didn't want to break Dani's heart, make him cry, hurt him even unintentionally, and it made him feel like he was drowning, he didn't know how else to explain it. He needed to stop Dani, stop thinking, stop feeling Dani, leave it how it was supposed to be, especially because why would Dani want him.
Good god he hated this.