Chapter Text
Raphael couldn't help but beam at Aziraphale, a part of him feeling soothed at the sight of the other angel.
Here, finally, was the one being he knew wouldn't lie to him. The one being he knew would help him instead of condescending.
But… why was he looking at Raphael like that? It looked as if there were tears in his eyes; Raphael could make out how they were watering, drops threatening to spill the longer Aziraphale stared at him.
He had to have known, then, that Raphael had been a prisoner of Hell. Of course. Only then did it make sense why he looked like that. Considering how long it had taken him to answer the summons, and that he hadn't been in Heaven when Raphael returned, Aziraphale must have been on Earth.
It almost warmed him, the thought that Aziraphale wouldn't remain in Heaven if Raphael hadn't been here. He could have easily have requested to work in another department, or even become another angel's assistant. The notion of the latter hurt a bit. Aziraphale was his assistant, no one else's.
"It's good to see you again," he repeated, his voice soft and fond. "I’ve missed you."
Aziraphale gave a choking sound, his corporation heaving. Before his imprisonment, Raphael had been told his department would change to Healing- as a result, he was more in tune with the physicality and pain of all the other angels.
Heart of the corporation beating well over 150 beats a minute. Lungs overcompensating as oxygen demand suddenly increases. Core temperature is increasing. Tremors traveling throughout.
Conclusion: Panic Attack
Aziraphale was about to have a panic attack.
Concerned, Raphael reached out, placing his hand on the other's shoulder. The moment his hand made contact, however, Aziraphale’s legs buckled and Raphael quickly moved to grab him before he fell.
"I know, it must be strange to see me again," he murmured, guiding him into his office, closing the door to give them some privacy. He didn't notice that the hallway was suddenly empty of all other angels. "But I assure you it's me."
Another choked sound escaped Aziraphale, a strange strangled breath that was audibly painful. Frowning, Raphael moved his hand up to touch Aziraphale’s chest, noting the flinch.
He tried to focus on the pain he could feel coursing through Aziraphale, even though he didn't quite understand it. He was pleased, to a degree, that the other angel had felt so strongly in his absence but Raphael was back now! Unhurt and, despite his missing memories, complete!
So why was Aziraphale still in so much pain?
"It's okay, Aziraphale." Raphael soothed. "It's okay, I'm back."
He felt another, stronger, wave of pain shoot through Aziraphale at his words.
But why? He didn't understand. What was going on?
"Aziraphale?"
He watched the other angel close his eyes and take a deep breath. When he reopened them, Raphael could feel the change inside of him, as if he had pushed something away. His hand was still on him, he could feel how Aziraphale was pushing back everything he was feeling.
It was fascinating and, at the same time, it felt wrong. Aziraphale had never been so closed off to him and immediately, Raphael didn't like it. He missed the familiar rush of the other’s emotions. Aziraphale had never been like this before, had always been open and easy to understand. At least to him.
This was a new version of Aziraphale, one Raphael didn't quite know and wasn't as familiar with. He couldn't quite understand this new version of him but he wanted to learn.
He wanted Aziraphale at his side again.
"Raphael," Aziraphale finally said. His voice was shaking and he cleared his throat a few times. When he spoke again, his voice was steady. "It is… Wonderful to see you again, Raphael."
Raphael beamed at him, reaching out and squeezing his shoulders again. "I just wish it was in better times," he sighed. "My siblings have told me what had happened, I'm sure it was no easier for you."
"No, no it was not," Aziraphale said quietly. He seemed to be fidgeting, fingers twitching as he looked around them. "I haven't been here… For quite some time."
"Did you come after my imprisonment?" Raphael asked curiously, almost missing the way the other angel winched at the word. If any other angel had the right to enter his office, even to take something, it would have been Aziraphale.
"Once." he said, voice still quiet. "In the beginning when you were… Gone. I wanted something familiar, comforting, I suppose, but then I was reassigned after the War and after that… I didn't allow myself the solace of your domain and..." He swallowed hard, one hand going to gently touch the scrolls on top of the desk. "Ultimately my other… Duties took precedence of my inclinations."
"I'm sorry that you suffered in my absence," Raphael said softly, itching to reach out and touch him again. All his other touches could be passed off as proper, such as making sure he didn’t fall when Aziraphale first saw him, but anything else could be considered...inappropriate.
"If you don't mind my asking, what duties did they give you?" Did he get transferred to another angel as an assistant? He was a good example of one and it wouldn't be that much of a surprise if he had been reassigned to another angel to further assist in their duties. But the thought of Aziraphale working for another, especially one of his siblings, when none of them had told him so, hurt, more so than the notion that Raphael had lost 6000 years.
Aziraphale was meant to be his. He had been made for him specifically by their Mother.
But he was pacified when Aziraphale shook his head. "I was tasked with the Garden and overseeing Humanity," he told him. "After the War, I was promoted to Principality and given more duties to make up for the angels that… Had been lost to us."
Raphael nodded, finally giving in and allowing himself to touch him again, just a hand on his shoulder. He was still recovering from his imprisonment in Hell, he was allowed this much. "I hope that it won't be too much trouble to ask for your help in all of this."
Aziraphale then surprised him. The other angel reached out and suddenly gripped his hands, both of them, tightly. Raphael stared in shock but relished it, gripping back just as tightly.
Was this what angels did now? He liked it, he wanted to continue this.
"Of course I will," he said fiercely, staring at him with a fire that Raphael had never seen before; he was captivated instantly. "I will do everything in my power to help you." Aziraphale’s eyes seemed to darken momentarily. "And everything outside of my power."
Before Raphael could ask what he meant by that, the door to his office was suddenly opened and his siblings stormed in, led by Michael.
"What is the meaning of this?" She demanded. "What is this renegade doing here, Raphael?"
"Renegade?" He repeated, remembering the other angel had called Aziraphale the same thing. "What do you mean ‘renegade’?"
"We mean, of course," Gabriel said smoothly, coming forward. "That Aziraphale is the angel that handed you over to Hell."