Chapter Text
Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight?
Tonight
Steve woke to an empty bed. He sat up and threw back the covers. The light from under the door of the bathroom led him to Maria. He knocked softly.
“Maria, are you OK?” he asked.
Then he checked the knob. It was unlocked so he pushed the door open.
Maria was standing at the sink, gripping its sides. Her breathing was irregular.
“Do we need to go back to the hospital?” he asked.
She nodded.
“I think so,” she said.
“Can you make it down the stairs or should I call for an ambulance?” he asked.
The glare she gave him at the suggestion only caused him to chuckle.
He helped her into her coat and boots as he called for a cab. Then they took the stairs slowly, pausing each time a new wave of pain hit her. By the time they reached the bottom, the cab was waiting for them.
They pulled up outside the emergency room several minutes later and Steve ran in to get a wheelchair.
Maria rolled her eyes at him.
“They’re just going to force you into one when we get in there,” he told her as he paid the cabbie.
After that, everything happened quickly and Steve was washing up again and putting on a gown and a face mask to go in to her. The doctor walked by and patted him on the back.
“It’ll be fine,” he assured Steve, but Steve had never felt more terrified and in his life. “The mask is just a precaution because of all the flu going around right now.”
Maria was laying on the bed on her side when Steve followed the doctor in. She smiled weakly up at him and he kissed her forehead through the mask.
“Where do you want me?” he asked.
“Right there is fine,” she said.
“OK,” he said as she took his hand in hers. “Just remember how much you like my hand and what it can do to you before you go and break it.”
Maria couldn’t stop her laugh.
“You are such a little shit,” she said.
His own laugh was cut off when Maria took a deep breath and squeezed his hand hard.
It wasn’t long before a tear trickled down her face and Steve knew the pain had already become unbearable.
“It’s not a bad thing to ask for help, Maria,” he whispered in her ear.
She nodded and Steve called to the nurse.
After the medication was in, Maria was more relaxed. And, contrary to what he’d thought, it didn’t slow things down in the slightest. In a few minutes the doctor returned.
“I hear you’re ready to have this over with,” he said. “Are you going to catch, Dad, or are you just going to cut the cord?”
“Um, I hadn’t really,” Steve started. “Catch?”
“I’ll let you know when it’s time and you can decide then,” the doctor said.
Maria let out a small whimper as she began to push. It was forever and no time at all before the doctor forced Steve to make his decision. He looked at Maria. She nodded and gave him a slight smile and Steve let go of her hand to “catch” their son as the doctor pulled him out.
An hour later, Steve held his son as he sat next to Maria who was finally sleeping.
David James Rogers-Hill. Steve took another contented breath. He was sure he had never been happier. He looked over at Maria and watched her as she slept. It had become an annoying hobby of his, according to Maria, to watch her sleep. But it was one that made him happy. Nearly every night for over two years now since she’d first invited him to lay next to her when she was recovering from her surgery he’d watched her sleep. Now he’d have someone else to watch over as well. He looked back at their son and kissed his forehead gently.
Outside the window the sun was shining on freshly fallen January snow. He stood and walked over to show David his new world. Steve had always loved how fresh snow sparkled, even in the city.
Maybe they’d move to the country at some point, he thought. Stark had. He’d handed over the reins of his company to Pepper and the two started dating a year ago. Then he set up a lab outside the city so he could work on his robotics designs. Steve was glad for them, that someone else had the happiness they wanted. He and Maria were still fine in the city. They’d probably stay until he got his design business going stronger or the nursery school competition became too much for him.
“Hey,” he heard Maria behind him.
She was smiling at the two of them and Steve wondered how his heart stayed in his chest, it felt so much bigger now.
He walked over to her and kissed her gently on her lips.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Not bad,” she said. “Mostly just achy and tired.”
“Natasha texted a few minutes ago,” he told her. “She and Clint want to come by and see us.”
Maria smiled.
“Well, as long as he doesn’t bring the kid a bow and arrow,” she joked.
Visitors came and went throughout the day. First Natasha and Clint, with the feared bow and quiver full of arrows.
“Hey, I just want to make sure he gets a head start,” Clint said as Natasha and Maria shook their heads.
Then Sam and Sharon came with Darcy who brought David a giant stuffed bear that was nearly as big as Steve.
Darcy held David and started asking when she could come over and babysit. Steve watched Maria’s reaction. It was nice to see how she reacted to people’s kindnesses. She hadn’t had many in her life, and the last two years had been an adjustment for her, learning to trust people enough to let them be her friend and to help her.
Jasper came by with a gift from the office, which Steve, barely joking, said had better not be work. But it was only a blue knitted sweater, cap, and mittens.
Tony and Pepper came by later and told Steve and Maria there was a place near their country house up for sale. That he and Stark had become just as good friends as he and Bucky ever were, had been the strangest thing to Steve. Tony wasn’t at all what he seemed in the media and the two had a lot in common, sometimes to the worry of their significant others.
Finally, an hour before visiting hours were over, Bucky burst into the room. He looked haggard, and Steve could imagine he was. He’d flown in from Capetown where he’d been consulting on security for a business down there.
But when he saw Steve with Maria and David his face broke into a huge grin.
“Will ya look at that?” he said, shaking his head. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
He gave Steve a huge hug and kissed Maria on the cheek, just a little longer than appropriate, because he knew it bugged Steve.
Maria handed David to Bucky who held the baby as if he was fine porcelain. He’d never seen Bucky with a baby before.
“Wow, you done good, punk,” Bucky said. “Of course, the kid’s lucky he obviously got so much of his mom’s genes.”
Steve shook his head and chuckled.
“Can’t wait until he gets bigger and I can teach him to catch and bat, and tell him all the stories about his dad when he was a kid,” Bucky said.
“Hey, now, wait a minute,” Steve interrupted.
Bucky gave him an innocent look.
“I don’t know if he really needs to know all about...” He started to complain, but Maria interrupted.
“Of course, he does,” she said. “I think I even need to know about it.”
Steve looked between the two of them, then grimaced at their amused looks.
“Fine,” he said, turning to Maria. “But it wasn’t all my fault.”
Maria laughed.
“You can’t say it’s not your fault just because Bucky didn’t show up quickly enough to save you from your stupidity,” Maria laughed.
“Oh, yeah, it’s really funny,” he said, but couldn’t stop his smile.
Bucky sat down in the chair on the other side of Maria’s bed and Steve took Maria’s hand in his as his old friend gave her detailed descriptions of as many embarrassing things Steve had done as he could before the nurse came to ask him to leave.
“I’ll walk you down, Buck,” Steve said.
He got Maria and David situated and walked out into the corridor. There, to no surprise of his, he found Bucky flirting with the nurse. Also, to no surprise, he watched them exchange numbers.
“Come on, Romeo,” he said.
“Oh, you can call me that now because you’re all tied down,” Bucky retorted.
“Well, for the record, being tied down can be a pleasure,” he replied.
Then he blushed at what he had said, as Bucky laughed at him.
“Even married you can’t not make something into an innuendo where Maria is concerned,” Bucky said, squeezing his shoulder.
Steve thought silence might be the best answer.
“I’m glad you gave him part of my name.” Bucky told Steve as they boarded the elevator.
“Well, you’re my best and oldest friend, Buck,” Steve said.
“Yeah, but you should have given him my whole name,” Bucky lamented.
“James Buchanan Barnes Rogers-Hill would have been a bit of a mouthful, don’t you think?” Steve asked.
“OK, you can name the next one Buchanan, and the one after that Barnes,” Bucky replied.
“Hold on a minute, I don’t even know if there’s going to be a next one, and I am NEVER going to name one of my kids “Barnes,”” Steve said.
“Don’t you think I deserve it?” Bucky asked.
Steve looked up at him. Bucky had a peevish look on his face and Steve wasn’t sure what it meant. The elevator doors slid open to the lobby and Steve walked out with Bucky.
“Deserve it?” Steve asked.
“Yeah, if it weren’t for me, you’d never have had this moment,” Bucky said.
“What?” Steve asked. “How do you figure that?”
“Come on if I hadn’t invited you out you never would have met her,” he said.
“I’d have met her the next day,” Steve reminded him.
“Yeah, but this probably wouldn’t have happened,” Bucky said. “She’d just have been your boss and you’d just have been her employee.”
“Is that what you think?” Steve smirked.
“Oh, you think it would have been different?” Bucky said.
“I could be that good,” Steve said.
“I wouldn’t know,” Bucky retorted.
“I’m grateful,” Steve said. “Mostly that I don’t have to ever put up with another one of your girlfriend’s friends.”
“Funny,” he smiled.
“So, where are you off to now?” Steve asked.
“Gotta check in, then I’m headed to a conference in Paris in the morning,” he said.
“Not much time,” Steve said.
“Well, I’m glad I had time to come see you guys,” Bucky said.
They stood awkwardly for a moment before Bucky embraced him again.
“Really, you done good, Steve,” he said. “I’m happy for you.”
Bucky began to walk away and called back to Steve.
“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” he said.
“How can I?” Steve responded. “You’re taking all the stupid with you.”
Bucky only chuckled and waved as he walked out through the sliding doors.
Steve watched him through the glass until he disappeared into the parking structure across the street, then he returned to Maria.
She was sleeping again, David in the bassinet next to her bed. Steve pulled his chair around so he could watch both of them sleep. He knew he had a stupid smile on his face, the kind he got when he was ridiculously happy.
There had been many times in his life he truly never thought he’d have this. So many rejections, so many women only looking at what they saw, and how he didn’t measure up in their eyes. He’d learned it was a rare person who could look past the outward appearance of a person, rare enough that Steve knew there was something more to Maria, even when she tried to convince him there wasn’t.
Now they had each other, a child; more, he knew, than either of them ever hoped for before they met.
So, yes, he was thankful to Bucky for forcing him out that August night.
But there was no way on earth he was going to name a kid of his Barnes or Buchanan.