Chapter Text
The ride back from Wakanda to New York felt agonizingly long. Kat tried her best to busy herself. She tried to convince Steve to take a nap, to eat something, to do anything but he simply shook his head no, and rested his head against the window of the jet, and stared out at the clouds, silent and pensive.
Kat exchanged a look with Natasha who shared her concerned look, but carried on with piloting the jet back home. Kat meanwhile sat there and tried to explain some engineering to Peter who hung on her every word, but her true focus was on the blonde staring at the clouds.
She tried to get Tony to look at her but he sort of ignored her, and was talking to Rhodey, occasionally saying something to Peter, unable to meet her gaze.
She shot Pepper a text.
I know you and Tony are not on the greatest of terms, but I think he could really use some support right now, when we get back if you're around and willing. He had to see some terrible stuff about his parents, and I don't think I'm the person he wants to talk to about it.
I'll meet you at the hanger. Send me your ETA.
She sent her an updated ETA, a thank you, and a silent prayer up to god, thanking him for making Pepper one of the most understanding and patient people.
Pepper was waiting for them when they landed, with her arms open for Tony, and he silently just walked into her embrace, and squeezed her so tight.
Pepper exchanged a look with Kat over his shoulder and gave her the thumbs up, and mouthed "I got this."
Kat made sure Happy was taking Peter home, and everyone else headed back to their respective spaces. Kat and Steve exchanged a silent look, and he grabbed his keys and they silently drove back to the city, the quiet hum of the radio in the background. His right hand usually found its way to hold hers, or to grab her thigh, but today it remained firmly on the steering wheel, his knuckles tight.
When they opened the door to their apartment, Alpine was sitting at the window, and jumped down and ran over to them, her feet pattering against the floor.
Kat bent down and picked her up, and cradled her to her chest, petting the little white fluff ball.
She let out the littlest meow and somehow it sounded to Kat like a question. And she could see Alpine looking around for Bucky.
"I know baby, your Daddy isn't here right now and won't be home for a while. But he'll come home soon. Just you and me and your other dad for now." She said to the cat, who rubbed its face against hers, and Kat sniffled back a tear.
"Sweetheart."
"Sorry." she quickly wiped it away. "Let me start on dinner. You should eat something. You must be starving"
"Baby no don't apologize. I miss him too." Kat set down Alpine, and Steve wrapped his arms tightly around her, his chin resting atop her head, as she burried her face in his chest.
"I just... we just got him back."she sniffled. "And he was just starting to get comfortable."
"I know." he said stiffly.
"What?" she asked.
"I just... its stupid. Nevermind."
"If you're feeling it, it's not stupid. What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"
"Would you feel the same way if it were me?"
"What do you mean? You mean if you had to go away for a long time and I couldn't be with you?" she cocked her head to the side.
"It's stupid forget it."
"Steve, I love you with my entire heart. What are you talking about? Of course I would be hurt and wounded and feel like I was missing a part of myself if I lost you. I would do anything for you. You are my partner, you are my love, you are my best friend. I may have loved Bucky first, but that doesn't mean I love you less." she said. "And I am so sorry if I have ever made you feel that I do."
"I... I still feel like I'm sometimes that 90 pound nothing from Brooklyn, and I don't deserve to have a wonderful life with you."
"That 90 pound man was such a good man, and I think in another life, we still somehow would have fallen in love, and it probably would have been over me taking care of your sick-self because I went to medical school after the war or something, but, I adore you Steven Grant Rogers. I love you today, tomorrow and always."
"Today, tomorrow, Always." he agreed and pulled her against him tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"Let's order dinner, and take a bath while it comes. " she said to him. "And then we'll eat dinner in our pajamas, and crash hard." she said. "You need me to take care of you."
"I'm trying to be strong for you. I'm sorry I'm failing-"
'I don't want you to be strong for me. I don't need that. I just need you to be here with me and we can both be sad and get through this together, and through whatever we are feeling now."
He smiled at her and nodded. "Thank you baby."
"Thank you," she said, and hugged him tight once more. "Diner for dinner?"
"Sounds perfect." he said. They quickly ordered their food, and headed into the bath.
She set her phone down on the counter, as she sunk in but Steve pulled it back up.
"FRIDAY can you open the Wakandan feed on this?" he asked.
And there was Bucky, blissfully asleep in cryo, and Steve set it on the edge of the tub, propped up so they could see him.
"So it's the three of us." he said.
Kat smiled at him.
"It'll always be the three of us." she said, and leaned against him.
-------------------
Kat returned to work the next day.
Alyssa found her. "I heard there was some craziness with Bucky in Europe. How'd it turn out?"
And it took everything for Kat not to break down and cry as she explained how they had sent him away for treatment.
"Kat... I'm so sorry."
"I miss him. I know it's only been a day but I just feel like every time I get him, I lose him. And I somehow hurt Steve in all this by how much I miss him. He didn't think I'd miss him as much."
"Well he's a fool for not seeing how much you adore him. I know you love him more than the world."
"I straightened that out, but I miss Bucky."
"You'll get him back. You just have to have faith." Alyssa told her. "Be patient."
"Thanks."
After a busy day in the ED and some somehow mandatory overtime that her resident director made her do to make up for lost time, she headed home.
She drove home, and she put the picture of Bucky up on the screen. And she put the intercom on.
"Hey sugar. It's me. Not sure you can hear me but... I'm calling on my way home from work. I just wanted to talk to you. I don't know if Steve talked to you yet. But he's struggling a little. I think he's used to being our glue, and now that your'e not here, he feels like he might not have a purpose. But don't worry, I'll remind him who he is everyday. The love of our lives"
"Shuri hasn't sent too many updates yet, but it's only been two days. I know I should be patient. But you know sitting idle has never been my forte." she laughed to herself.
"When you were missing at Azzano, I was ready to march up there myself and rescue you. I wasn't strong like I am now, but the concept of knowing that you were probably in danger, and that I was just waiting, hurt. But I know you are getting the best technology to help you. And you'll be back in my arms soon. I love you Sugar. talk to you later."
Steve was sitting on the couch with Alpine when she got home, the little puff ball, atop his shoulder in the crook of his neck.
"Hey sweets, long day?"
"Very." she said. "But not too bad. How was training?"
"It was weird training without Bucky today." he confessed. "But we made it through."
"We will make it through. Together." Kat said squeezing his hand.
"I ordered dinner before you got home. I can heat something up for you, if you wanna shower."
"That would be amazing."
And slowly over a bowl of reheated Chinese take out, Kat and Steve began to heal their relationship together.
-----------------------------
It became a tradition that Kat would talk to Bucky via the intercom on her way home from work. Somedays she was bubbling with stories, and others she would sit in silence, but relish the fact that at least they were doing it together.
She and Steve started to join family dinner at the compound again, but Tony was more distant. He sat with Rhodey, and with Vision, but didn't talk too much to the rest of the table. He wouldn't catch her eye
She let out a sigh, and Steve just wrapped an arm around her and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead pulling her closer for a moment, and squeezed her knee under the table
Steve could tell that it bothered his girl, he tried to talk to Tony himself.
She overhead them as she washed dishes one night after dinner, another night he couldn't make eye-contact with her.
"It hurt her too, you know." Steve said quietly.
"What the act the I had to watch my parents get murdered by someone she's in love with?" Tony said. "The fact that she fell for you was a big enough issue, but both of you?"
"Howard was her brother too. And yes, that hurt her more than she's letting on." Steve said. "We are all her family, but you are the closest thing to her brother. Let her back in. She wants to make things right between you two."
"It...it feels like no one chooses me. And maybe that sounds selfish, but my dad always chose work, she's choosing the two of you, and.... I just feel like I'm not worth it "
Kat immediately put down the dish she was holding and ran into the next room and swooped her nephew into a hug.
"You are my family. I love you, and I am so sorry my actions hurt you. I love you so much Tony. I am so incredibly blessed to have somehow made it to this time and get to know you. I count my blessings, that I woke up and got to see the amazing legacy you are building in our family name, and that I get to care for you, and build along side with you. I am so incredibly proud of you, and I promise to try and do better."
He squeezed her tight. "I love you too Auntie."
Steve smiled at the pair, and put a comforting hand on Kat's shoulder before giving them a moment.
--------------------
She felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest, now that Tony seemed to be back to talking to her.
The 2 am phone calls, the eager urges to come spend more time in the lab on her days off, started to come again.
She did her best to split her time, giving some to Tony, and still some to Steve, since she knew he was suffering with missing Bucky as well. But he threw himself into more missions and into making love to her when he was home, and she couldn't complain.
----
Kat had just sat down for the first time during her shift.
"Dr. Stark?" one of the nurses said. "There is a young man who appears to be bleeding in the waiting room, who is requesting to speak to you. Says he knows you. Something about Europe?"
Kat looked up and saw a bloody, Peter Parker waving for her.
"I'm putting him in the procedure room"
"Do I need to call security?"
"Absolutely not. He's harmless." she said. "He's a... Stark Industries intern." she said.
"Oh... okay."
"Peter..."
"Hi Dr. Kat I mean Stark."
Kat chuckled.
"Kat is fine." she smiled at him, but then she noticed the blood coming from his eyebrow as well as the way he was clutching his ribs.
"Peter, what is going on?"
"I... I got into a little fight stopping a bodega robbery on my way home from class, and I thought I might need stitches, and you're a doctor, and I don't want Aunt May to worry and leave work, take me to the doctor so I thought it might be okay if I stopped by and saw you. I have insurance and-"
"Of course, let's fix you up. I'll give you my phone number. Next time just text me or call me so I can just bring you back and you don't have to wait out there, and I only work a few days a week, so it makes sense, okay?"
"Really?" he smiled.
She nodded at him and smiled. "Really. I'm happy to help you out Peter."
She quickly got him cleaned up, she wanted to check his ribs for fracture. "You'll have to come to the lab for x-rays if you don't want Aunt May to find out."
She quickly grabbed her phone and dialed.
"Yes auntie?"
"Hey Tony, I'm here at the hospital with Peter."
"Oh Underoos cool. Wait at the hospital?"
"He got into a bit of a scrap. Are you at the lab?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"You think Friday knows how take an x-ray?"
"Does he have his suit?"
"Peter?"
"I do. Mr. Stark."
"Just have KAREN do it from the suit. she can tell."
"It can do that?" Peter asked.
"You're coming over after school one day and you and we will review some of the things you can do in the suit .You're still in training kid."
"Yes, Mr. Stark."
"You gave him his own interface?"
'Yup. Not as complex as JARVIS or Friday but gets the job done. He picked the name."
"Performing body scan. No acute fractures noted. Soft tissue injury to the Right fifth through eight rib."
"COOL!"
"Well I'm glad you're not fractured. How's the pain?"
"Not great." He confessed. "but regular pain meds don't work on me anymore so I'll just get through it."
"You too, huh?"
'Yeah my metabolism is kinda fast now. Just kinda burns off fast. But I'll be okay. Thanks Dr. Kat."
"Remember to take deep breaths, even if it hurts, just to prevent pneumonia and lung collapse."
"You got it. Dr. Kat. Thanks again."
"Get home safe. Keep the stitches dry best you can. You can still shower, just don't like soak them. Send me a picture every day or two so we can see when I can take them out for you."
"Got it. Oh crap I told Aunt May I'd be home now. Shoot. See you soon!"
He dashed out and Kat shook her head with a chuckle, as she cleaned up.
At the end of her shift, she was headed out the door toward the subway when she saw a familiar truck waiting for her outside, Steve standing outside of it, a bouquet in hand.
"Hey you." she smiled. "Fancy running into you here."
"Thought I could surprise my girl," he smiled at her. He handed her the bouquet of her favorite flowers.
"You certainly did honey. They're beautiful. Thank you" she pressed up on her tiptoes and kissed him. "Missed you."
"Missed you too sweets. Now lets get you home my love. "
"What about my car?"
"I'll drive you in your next shift. Security knows to take care of it."
Out of habit, once she was in the car, she pulled up her feed of Bucky.
"Missing him?" Steve asked.
"Always but I usually tell him about my day on my way home. Kind of a little tradition I started. Because I don't want to take time away from you"
"It's cute sweetheart. You can still do it if you want. Don't let me stand in the way of your tradition"
She looked at the feed and pressed the intercom. "Hey sugar, it's me. Steve's here too. Say hi honey."
"Hey Buck." Steve said.
"Steve surprised me today with flowers and picking me up at work. He's quite the romantic. Always taking good care of me. Will dinner be ready when we get home Captain?" she asked batting her eyelashes at him.
Steve's eyes darkened.
"It is but if you keep calling me captain, I might have to have dessert first."
Kat chuckled.
"So easy to get him riled up Buck, you have no idea sugar."
"Love for you to find out." Steve added.
"What's on the menu tonight?" Kat asked.
"You." Steve said with a wink, and once they were at a red light, he pulled her up to him by the chin for a kiss.
"I like the sound of that Captain."
Steve sped the rest of the way home, before quickly clearing the dining room table off, and placing Kat on it, her scrubs ripped off, and he worshiped her, before he wrapped her up in a blanket and fed her dinner.
-------------
The months started to pass faster than Kat would have liked. Over a year had passed, and Bucky was still gone. Kat received a call from Shuri once a week with updates, but it seemed like slower progress. But Kat did her best to be patient. She had waited years for Bucky to find him again, and they would find HIM once again.
Steve was on missions. A lot. Which she tried her best not to be mad at, she was working a lot too. It made sense that he'd pick up extra shifts.
Residency was rough on her a good portion of the time but also she loved being able to help people on some of the worst days of their lives.
She still worked in the lab with Tony which often resulted in late night brainstorming sessions, and passing out on the futon in the lab. One night Steve had gotten in late from a mission, and he found her there, and scooped her up, and carried her back to bed, and she woke up there wrapped in his arms, still in last nights, clothes and the smile on her face couldn't be beat.
"Hey..." she smiled at him "good morning"
"Good morning sweets." he kissed her forehead.
"When did I get to bed? When did you get back?"
"About 2 am. " he smiled. "You were out cold. I tried to wake you up but you just groaned and hugged the pillow you had in your hands tighter."
And sure enough, she turned, and the pillow from the futon was next to her.
She laughed. "That sounds like me."
"You swapped the pillow out for me once I laid down beside you though." Steve said. "It was very cute, and you wouldn't let me go."
"I'll never let go Steve. I love you."
"I love you too sweets."
--------------------------------------
"He's awake." Shuri said.
"WHAT?! WHEN?!" Kat asked.
"We have an idea how to do it. It should work but... he's... he's not ready Kat."
"I'm flying to Wakanda right now. Give me permission to access the air space."
"No."
"No?" Kat asked incredulously. "My fiancee is awake for the first time in over a year. You have an idea of how to fix him and you won't let me see him."
"He doesn't want to see anybody. Not just you."
"Put him on the phone." Kat ordered.
"Dr. Stark."
"Shuri, please. Please." Kat pleaded.
"Patience. He has just woken up. Let him reorient himself and mentally prepare. He has to want to do this."
Kat sighed.
"If he changes his mind, Please.... have him call me. Any time of day or night. I don't care. I will drop everything and be on a plane to him."
"I know." she chuckled. "I'll call you when I have an update."
Kat stared blankly out the window of her apartment at the compound. Steve was on a mission so he wasn't even there to grieve with.
Alyssa was working. Nat was with Steve on the mission. Sam was also with them. Wanda and Vision had somehow become a couple and were in a romantic tryst away. And she felt so alone.
"You okay auntie?"
She turned and saw Tony standing behind her, holding a smoothie.
"Not really."
"Whats up? FRIDAY said you were in emotional distress."
"Friday is a traitor."
"I heard that Dr. Stark."
Kat shook her head.
"I'm not sure you're the person I want to talk to about this."
"Are you and GI Joe having issues In the bedroom? Because then absolutely not. Do not-"
"Not that. Bucky's awake."
And Tony stilled. He took a deep breath.
"Then why aren't you happy?"
"He doesn't want to talk to me. Or see me yet."
"Did they fix him?"
"They have a plan to. But they have to wait till he's ready.. and who knows if he ever will be."
"I think he will be." Tony offered. "Might take a little more time but, I'm sure he'll get there. I may not like the guy, but I am sure of one thing, Kat and that he loves you and Capsicle."
"I know that but-"
"When you love someone, as scary as the changes may be that you need to make, you make them. God knows Pepper put up with me for long enough."
"But it's a good change." she protested.
"Doesn't mean its not scary still. He's doing this to be safe around you, so he can build a life with you. But it is all he has known for almost 70 years Kat... give the man a little grace. I can't believe I said that. I took Manchurian candidates side. FRIDAY do I have a brain tumor? Am I okay?"
"No acute abnormalities noted sir." Friday said.
"Oh thank god." Tony said. "Worried for a second."
"Just growth then, huh." Kat teased him, as she leaned up against him.
"Yeah... just growth. Learning a lot of it from my cool ancient aunt." he nudged her.
"Watch it." she said. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him, into a side hug.
"He'll be back and staring at all of us again before you know it."
"I hope so." She turned to him. "Tones?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you. Thanks for being here for me."
"There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be Kat. Love you too, auntie" He said. "Now come on. Peter is coming and needs help with his homework."
"He's a good kid."
"Yeah."
----------------------------------------
Shuri sent a picture of Bucky in Wakandan clothing, his hair half clipped out of his face, with a goat.
"He's farming?" Kat asked.
"It helps him clear his head." Shuri noted. "Very mundane work. Repetitive tasks, in combination with the manual labor. I think he works until he's tired and he can finally sleep."
"He looks good as a farmer." Steve noted.
"He does," Kat conceded. "But is he-"
"He's getting closer. He's asking more questions and is more open to the process. But I think he's nervous that if it doesn't work that he's gonna hurt someone. You remember General Okoye?"
"Of course."
"she offered to be the one to test it. If anyone can hold their own against him, it would be her."
Steve nodded in agreement. "Could you..uh tell him, we love him and miss him and are here for him?"
"Of course. "
----------------------------------
"Sweets, I have a mission away for a month."
"A month? What could possibly take that long?" She asked incredulously.
"It's undercover, a lot of moving parts."
"I'm gonna miss you." she decided on, lips pressed into a pout
"I'm gonna miss you more." Steve said wrapping his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her forehead and then to her pout. "Are you gonna be okay here in the city by yourself?"
"I'm not alone. You mean me and Alpine?"
"Of course."
"You know I lived alone before we were dating, and the first few months we were together? Ring a bell."
"I know but you're ..."
"A grown woman? Capable of taking care of myself?"
"I'm not doubting that you're capable baby but... I just feel this insanely strong urge to take care of you, and protect you. Especially since you're so tiny."
"Listen I'm just as big as you were when you were getting into scraps every other day with anyone who said the wrong thing."
He chuckled. "I know you're a lot stronger than I was then. And I know that you are capable my love. But... it's my job to worry. And I worry more about you burning out from working too hard."
She conceded. "That is a real risk. But FRIDAY is a traitor who will make sure I take care of myself. Right FRIDAY?"
"Right. Meal prep services ordered for the duration of your absence, Captain Rogers."
"Thank you FRIDAY. Please send welfare checks to me and Tony if I'm not available."
"Yes Captain Rogers."
Kat shook herhead. "I love you, you worry-wart."
"I love you too sweetheart. I'm gonna miss you."
"I'll miss you too." She wrapped her arms around his neck.
"A whole month of not holding you?" He squeezed her tighter, lifting her up, her legs wrapping around his waist.
"Better get your fill Rogers." she teased.
"A whole month of not kissing those soft lips? That soft skin?" and he started to press kisses to her lips and down her neck, and she let out a low moan.
"Of not hearing those sweet little sounds you make when I find that spot you love?" He pressed her against the wall, and started to strip her sweater off. "Of how soft your body feels pressed against mine?" He continued to press kisses down the column of her neck, sucking bruises into her fair skin.
He carried her over to their bed, and stripped her bare, his own clothes quickly making their way to the floor.
"How beautiful you look laid out like this in our bed. The sweet taste of your tight little pussy," he said as he bent down and began to feast on her, licking and sucking at her, his fingers finding a home in her cunt, dripping wet with want.
"Steveee..." she moaned.
"The way you say my name."
And he quickly captured her lips with his own, and he rutted against her. His cock rubbing, against her.
"Just wanna slide right into you baby. Wanna fill you up." he practically growled.
"Please baby. Need you inside me."
"Soon baby. Patience is a virtue." He grabbed a condom from the the bedside table and unrolled it on his length, before he plunged into her, his lips capturing hers, capturing her moans, he thrust into her, her hips meeting his with every thrust. Her hands reached out to grasp the sheets but he grabbed them, their fingers intertwined as he took her, and she crested over and over again. He flipped them, her straddling him, and he lifted her hips, her riding him up and down.
"Christ my love. You feel so good. " he groaned in her ear. "Feel amazing."
"Steve pleaseee..." she pleaded.
"Please what baby?"
"faster."
"You got it sweets," and with a near inhuman speed, he was lifting her up and thrusting into her, until she was crying out on his name, and collapsed against him, and with a practical roar, he finished moments later. Kat felt like it was so warm inside of her, and it just felt so good to have him inside, like he belonged there..
She laid on top of him, his cock till inside her, as he ran his fingers through her hair, another hand drawing circles on her bare back.
She sighed content, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Definitely gonna miss that." Kat said with a sigh.
"Me too." he said.
"Tea and cuddles on the couch?" she asked.
"That sounds good baby." He lifted her up a little, his cock coming out of her, and as she shifted she felt something start to leak out of her.
"Did I get my period super early?" she asked, standing, only to see that it wasn't blood dripping down her legs.
"Kat....the condom broke. I finished inside you" Steve said shocked. "I should have known. It felt so good. I should have checked I-"
She took in a deep breath.
"Steve..."
"I'm sorry baby. I know that we have discussed it- and I know that" he started spiraling.
"Steve." he kept babbling, about all the plans they had made.
'Hey... Look at me." She grabbed him by the face." it's okay...."
"But-"
"I'm probably not in my fertile window anyway. Ovulation is such a small period of time anyway. The likelihood is that nothing will happen."
" Isn't there a medication or -"
"I don't think that would work for me honey." she said. "You know how we metabolize medicine."
He sighed. "I know. I just... we aren't even married or- "
"Steve, if you knock me up, will you make an honest woman out of me?"
"Is that even a question? I'd marry you today."
"And would you love our hypothetical-not likely baby?"
"More than anything. More you in this world sounds like the best thing that's happened to it in a long time" He pressed a kiss to her lips. And his hands went from her waist to her belly.
"Than we'd make it work. I'm not worried." she said.