Chapter Text
Puppy brown eyes met furious blue ones after years of distance between the two. You would’ve thought this would be some kind of a joyful reunion after all this time of being apart. You thought wrong.
“Lottie, what the fuck? ” Blue eyes darted back and forth between brown eyes as tears threatened to escape from them. All the pent-up anger was clearly laced in her words. Lottie had seen all the anger, hurt, and resentment flicker in the familiar blue eyes that she once loved. It hurt the brunette too, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away. She deserved this, she thought.
If Nat wasn’t so infuriated at the moment she would’ve seen how the brunette flinched at the seething tone.
“Hi, Nat.” Lottie tried with a cough. A smile appeared but disappeared a second right after noting that the blonde wasn’t going to return one. The blonde’s facial expression stood stern and it was honestly putting her at unease. “Nat, please, I don’t want to do this right now.”
“The hell we aren’t, Lottie.” Nat couldn’t let this go. She couldn’t see anything else but red anymore. Not the rose-tinted glasses kind of red, but the red you see when all your thoughts were clouded by nothing but rage. “Were you even planning to tell me who you were under that mask anytime soon?”
Lottie looked away guiltily.
“Or anytime at all?”
“I didn't because I knew how you would’ve reacted, Nat. It’s exactly like how you’re reacting right now.”
The blonde scoffed at that. “And I have every right to!”
Lottie’s eyes were firmly planted on the ground, she tried focusing on her breathing as much as she could but the pain emitting from the other girl was almost more unbearable than the physical pain she felt at the moment.
“You left me. Remember?” The blonde was simmering, teeth showing aggressively as she snarled, “Without a goodbye or without anything- I was drowning , Lottie.”
“Nat-”
“I blamed myself every day and every night because I thought I was the reason why you left. I thought there was something wrong with me. I made myself believe I simply just didn’t deserve you.” Nat’s voice seemed smaller at the end and all the brunette wanted to do was try to relieve the blonde’s suffering instead of her own.
“That’s not true at all-”
“I know, and it's no thanks to you.”
Lottie was defeated. All she could do was try to change the subject now. As much as she would love to have this conversation right now, she wanted to remain alive for it to happen. “Nat, I didn’t want to do this right now because I physically can’t do this right now.” Lottie huffed out, her head leaning back against the trunk of the tree with eyes closing. “I feel like I'm losing consciousness.”
Nat looked like she wanted to say more when her mouth opened but closed just as fast, “Fine.” She huffed out, eyes ever so slightly softening seeing Lottie’s labored breathing.
“Thank you,” Lottie muttered right before Nat picked her up from the opposite side of the wound. The brunette hid the way she was pained to see that blonde paid no mind to her words or the intentions behind them.
Thank you.
I’m so sorry.
The tension in the air was thicker than ever a few minutes into walking, the silence just as aggravating. The brunette tried her best not to groan or make as much sound along the way but it was so damn hard. She put up a poker face, thinking it might be better for the other girl to not have to bear with her even more than she had to.
The brunette thought she might’ve lost consciousness after all when she heard the blonde speak up from holding half of her weight up under her shoulder. “Where are we even going?”
Lottie’s throat felt so dry and her lips were chapped. Her legs felt so heavy as if each of them had giant anchors tied down to the ground. It felt like it took almost everything in her body to respond, “Th-there should be a cabin up ahead.” She nodded forward and to the left a little to indicate the direction, “That way.”
Nat followed her direction silently and eventually, they could see a few beams of light dimly shining from a dark structure hidden behind a few trees. The journey was slow but she was just grateful it hadn’t been winter yet and they didn’t have to struggle through the snow. The blonde wouldn’t tell the brunette but she let out a sigh of relief upon seeing a sign of the building’s existence. They were going to make it. Lottie was going to be okay.
That was until the taller girl clumsily hit her foot against an unforeseen rock on the ground, “Owwwww!” She whimpered, a limp in her step more noticeable than before.
Nat couldn’t help but let out a small cackle, “You big baby.”
A subtle smile unconsciously surfaced on the brunette’s face despite the immense agony she was currently experiencing… But maybe she’d do it again just to hear that laugh once more.
And just like that the tension had been temporarily lifted.
———
The blonde bashed the wooden door to the cabin wide open with a loud bang! The door had already looked fragile upon entering and seemed like just enough force could’ve flown it off its hinges but Nat was glad it hadn’t. That would’ve been a whole ‘nother problem for them to have to solve later with the time they couldn’t spare.
“Almost there,” Nat breathed, whether she was reassuring the injured girl or herself, she didn’t know. Lottie almost felt like a deadweight at that point so she hurriedly carried her across the room where there was a small makeshift bed on the other side of the cabin. “Just a few more steps.”
Lottie grunted as Nat set her down on the bed, faced up, “Okay, now the hard part’s over.”
The brunette didn’t respond but she was evidently writhing in torment so the blonde proceeded with trying to find a way to relieve her. Thank God that the lights around the cabin were already on but she couldn’t see anything clearly with Lottie’s large fur jacket in the way of things. She was going to have to get rid of it.
“Try to stay still,” Nat whispered affirmatively, hands hovering over the taller girl’s body, not daring to touch yet, “I’m going to have to get these clothes off to help you. Is that okay?”
The brunette nodded vigorously as confirmation, Nat could tell she was desperate to end the suffering already so the blonde hurriedly started unzipping her fur jacket. Her eyes widened at what she saw underneath.
Lottie wore a white shirt beneath that was utterly soaked through and through with blood. It took everything in Nat to not look away at the gnarly display. She gulped as a ghastly thought crossed her mind that what was under the shirt might be even worse. That’s when the blonde suddenly felt a pang of guilt shoot through her body.
Nat took a slight breath, “Um, this might hurt so just, brace yourself.” The blonde began carefully peeling off the white cloth and she scrunched her face when the clothing was somewhat stuck onto the skin below from some of the dried blood. It was also a lot stickier than she thought it would be. Fucking gross.
But she persisted through it because this wasn’t the kind of mindset they needed right now. Lottie needed her and said girl flinched at the feeling of the shirt peeling off of her skin. Her wound.
Nat paused her current actions to contemplate the next, “Listen, I need to go get scissors or something to cut this open quicker and easier. Are there any around the cabin?”
The injured girl made some kind of gesture toward one of the drawers on the far wall across the bed. “Th-there should be some in the d-drawer…”
The blonde nodded, “Stay still.”
Nat paced across the room hastily and almost ripped out and through the damn drawers in search of the sharp instruments. She almost laughed ironically at how she finally found them in the last one that she checked. The universe was neither on their side today.
The blonde wasted no time to make it back to the brunette and used the scissors to cut through the soggy fabric as gently as she could. She could see the way Lottie’s breath hitched a bit the first second the cold metal touched her burning skin. Nat scrunched her face in a slight apology when she was peeling the rest of the clothing off.
Nat was too preoccupied to take in the fact that Lotrie was only down to her black bras when she was stricken with several large gashes running down the other girl’s torso. Huge claw marks to be exact. Each gash looked about to be half an inch wide and extended from her upper ribs and down to her waistline. The blonde’s throat bobbed, taking in a gulp.
Shit…
She must’ve said it out loud when Lottie questioned her with, “Is-is it bad?”
The brunette tried to sit up to take a look only to fall back down. Nat's hands were on auto-pilot as they moved to hold her shoulders down lightly, careful not to hurt her.
“I told you to stay still.” She reminded with a cautious tone. “You’re going to need stitches.”
“W-what-“
“Otherwise, the bleeding won’t stop in time and it’ll get infected,” Nat told her calmly. (Although, a bit too calmly for Lottie’s liking if you asked her.)
The brunette knew what this meant but she couldn’t take it any longer. “Do what you have to d-do.”
“I don’t have anything on me to help ease the pain a little when I…” Nat didn’t finish the sentence because the thought of performing the procedure already made her nauseous, “Unless you do?”
Lottie shook her head sadly but her breathing became noticeably faster than before in anticipation.
Well, that fucking sucks.
Just then, she remembered something. The reason she had gotten in this mess with Lottie in the first place and the reason they found each other. She hurriedly scrambled for the backpack she set aside upon entry and snatched out a pill bottle. Painkillers. One of the only things she managed to acquire before she was pursued out of the city.
Her grasp on the bottle tightened thinking about how it almost took her own life to get just a couple of these bottles a few hours ago. She turned her head back at Lottie from her crouched position, the brunette was coughing up blood now. Nat knew by then that she didn’t have a choice, Lottie needed this. She didn’t feel any frustration over having to use them already, just relief from the fact that she had them handy for this moment. With an impassioned incentive unlike before, she popped open the cap, dug out a couple of tablets, and raced back to the other girl.
“Here take these. They’re painkillers.” Nat sat her neck up a bit for the girl to open her mouth and swallow the capsules from her hand. The brunette gulped them down dry with a grimace.
“Sewing kit?” She wanted to get this over with.
“Sh-shelf.”
Nat jumped up on the table to grab it from the high shelf. She wonder why it was so up but she figured it probably wouldn't have been a problem for Lottie given her height.
Each step she took back to the bed was with heavy dread. She didn't want to have to do this. Especially to a friend. Are they friends? She shook her head— a question for later.
The shorter girl pulled up a chair from the table and sat down next to the bed occupied by the other girl. She looked up at the brunette’s face to see her watching through half-lidded eyes attentively. It made her fidget with the sewing kit she had in her hands. Those brown eyes wanted nothing to do with this any longer as much as she did, but they both knew they had to do something because the owner of those eyes’ life was on the line. And Nat would very much hate to see those puppy eyes go dull.
“You ready?” Nat asked softly.
Lottie shook her head.
“Yeah, me neither.”
The blonde got up from the chair to take off her belt. She heard a cough come from the other girl but whether it was from the pain or the gesture, she didn’t dare to question or joke about it at the moment.
She held up the belt above Lottie’s face and the brunette’s eyes took one look at the belt and then to her own blue eyes. Her eyes glistened in what looked like amusement with her facing contorting into a small frown as if asking what was going on.
“Bite down on it.” The blonde answered for her.
Then to Nat’s surprise, Lottie let out a small giggle and it was her turn to frown at her.
“How kinky of-“ Whatever words followed got muffled by the belt that was stuck in between her teeth, shoved by yours indeed.
“Yeah, yeah,” Nat rolled her eyes playfully, a hint of a smile could be seen on her lips, “Glad to see you still have the same whimsical sense of humor.”
As much as they desperately needed to help the brunette right now, Nat didn’t have the heart to take that grin away from the brunette just yet. She hadn’t seen it in a while, and she would be lying if she said that seeing it didn’t bring back ghosts of memories and familiar feelings. Good memories, good feelings.
As if it’s almost like Lottie could read her mind, the way she always used to, the tan girl reached a hand over her wrist with a reassuring squeeze, with the belt temporarily out of her mouth, “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”
Nat chuckled faintly, eyes roaming their conjoined limbs, “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to you?”
“You l-looked like you needed to hear it m-more.”
The blonde wasn’t sure how much of that was true but it sure felt like she did need it. Because Nat found it very sadistic that she, out of all people, had to take Lottie Matthew’s smile at this very moment.
Nat took in a deep breath, a big one, “Okay… this will hurt… a lot .”
Lottie nodded understandingly, “I trust you.” Is what was spoken out loud when really, “ I trust you, Nat. More than anyone.” was what she really meant to say.
But the words may not have been read that heavily by the shorter girl, who just gave her a curt nod, “Alright, let’s do this.”
The brunette stuffed the belt back into her mouth and drew her eyes up at the ceiling as the blonde took the needle and thread out of the sewing kit and braced herself.
Pale, calloused fingers skid slowly across the brunette’s torso and Lottie couldn’t help but let her breath hitch at the sensation. Then, a small, cold pointed metal slightly pricked at her abdomen near one of the scratches which automatically made her eyes screw shut immediately. The taller girl didn’t have to have her eyes open to tell that Nat was probably staring at her for permission, which she gave with a little nod.
That’s when everything went black and a piercing pain hit her.
“Arghhhh!!!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, fuck.”
If Lottie wasn’t in so much agonizing pain at the moment, she would’ve totally found it endearing how Nat kept muttering out a string of apologies the entire process.
———
Lottie’s eyes shot open when she heard an unusual footstep near her surroundings that definitely didn’t sound like hers. Her body never reacted as fast as it sat itself up, which was a really bad idea when there was a sharp pain on her side. “Ah!”
The pain was so unbearable that it caused her vision to blur for a short time.
“Hey, hey, lay back down. You could rip open those stitches back up, and we do not want that right now.” A calm, mellow voice could be heard, followed by tender pads of fingers gliding across her forearms and shoulders to guide her back down.
Lottie’s memory was a little fuzzy, and her mind was hazed but she was sure that she was in the cabin. The smell of old mossy wood was evident and so was that slimmer of an ominous feeling that crept up on her whenever she was in the lodge. But the odd thing was that she didn’t seem to be alone. Another—being? Or a person?—accompanied her in the same room.
“W-who-what-” Was all Lottie seemed to get out, her body was beyond exhausted.
“Well, I sure hope you didn’t get some kind of memory loss too from that.” The voice was still a little muffled in her ears but it made something inside her tingle a little, “Because that would totally suck since you saved me and all… And also since it was supposed to be me in your place.”
A memory flashed in her mind but it was too bright for her to be able to see clearly and it went by just as it came.
“I haven’t thanked you for that, yet.” The voice continued in a lower voice. “So, thank you.”
Lottie could feel a swelling in her chest form, not from her wounds but from a familiar warmth as her vision began to adjust more clearly.
Blonde.
It was the first thing she saw, bleached-blonde shaggy hair followed by a pair of blue eyes. Blue eyes so deep that-
“Lot? Earth to Loooootttt ,” Something waved in front of her face. She focused on it and could see that it was a hand. She hadn’t realized her own hand had reached out to touch it, her curiousness winning over her, until the tips of her finger felt cold, calloused skin and a tiny spark left by the feeling. That’s when all of her senses came back.
Natalie .
“Hey, welcome back to the land of the living.” There was that tender, deep voice she’d grown quite fond of once again.
The brunette frowned.“Was I dead?” She croaked.
“No, not really, but you sure seemed like it. Got me worried there for a minute.” Half-lidded blue eyes stared at her with an intensity as if a moment had gone without Lottie moving, those eyes alone would set the world on fire. “I had to check your pulse every few seconds just to make sure.”
And that got Lottie to giggle, only to groan from the shaking afterward.
“I definitely feel like it too.” The brunette retorted.
“Those painkillers haven’t kicked in yet?” The blonde joked.
“No, but if they are they’re pretty shitty.” Lottie chortled, a grin replaces her frowning features. “You had to get the worst ones?”
“They were the only ones, Lot.” Nat sneered, but there was no malice behind it. Soft giggles filled the dark cabin.
Lot.
“Haven’t heard that nickname in a while,” Lottie spoke slightly cautious but feeling a little bit more comfortable once their laughter died down. “Especially from you.”
“Yeah well, how could you have? We haven’t seen each other in forever.” There was still a glint in Nat’s eyes, but those same eyes shied away from her brown ones as the blonde seemed to have a sudden interest in picking at the hem of Lottie’s blanket.
“I’m sorry-”
“No, don’t.” Nat cut her off. Lottie sighed, expecting another argument to conjure up between them again but then the other girl said “You just saved my life back there and risked yours by doing so, so I was kind of wrong either way. You still did have my back so if anyone should be sorry, it should be me. I’m sorry for blowing up back there.”
The brunette chose that moment to sit up on one side of her elbow with the blanket falling down her body a second after. A cold wisp of air hit her skin and she looked down momentarily to see the bandages wrapped around her side. They almost covered half of her entire front torso, but Lottie didn’t remember having any bandages around in the cabin.
And , she was just in her black, laced bra.
She must’ve been making an obviously confused face when Nat spoke up about it.
“Uh, yeah, I don’t know if you remembered, but your clothes were sort of in the way so I had to cut them open.” Nat’s cheeks were rosy, and her eyes were everywhere but on the brunette the moment Lottie’s eyes flickered her way. Lottie must’ve been leering too long when Nat cleared her throat to add: “And the bandages were also from my supplies.”
Before she could even get a word out, Nat hushed her, “You needed them.”
The brunette’s limbs felt really heavy but it didn’t stop her from reaching the blonde’s hand, “I’m sorry.”
“I just said-”
“No, not just about this.” The wounded girl bit her lip, eyes glimmering from the few flickering candles around the cabin. “About leaving you. About breaking a promise that I failed to keep.”
Nat didn’t reply with anything, not a single thing. She only stared at her. No words were said through her mouth, but her eyes told her everything. So Lottie continued, “I should’ve at least said something. I-I wanted to, Nat. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t reach you in time.”
The bleached blonde looked like she wanted to put up a fight, and she probably did, knowing Nat, she was stubborn as hell. She probably wanted to get out a few things, like how she hated Lottie for years, or how she wish they were never friends to begin with. But nothing could’ve prepared Lottie as she heard these words from the other girl’s mouth instead; “It’s okay.”
Nat wouldn’t put up a fight, so Lottie did for her. “No, it’s not.”
“Maybe,” Nat shrugged, disturbingly nonchalant, “But there’s nothing we can do about it now.”
Lottie didn’t want to push anything so she just nodded. “Nat, if you ever want to-”
“We can talk about all of it later if you want.” Nat immediately replied, with a genuine smile. Something inside Lottie danced around at the change in the blonde’s features, “But you need to rest right now.”
Lottie let out a soft sigh, finally complying as she laid back on her back, “I want to.” She smiled back, “Because I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Says the one that just got her ass handed over by a couple of runners.” Nat shook her head in amusement.
“Hey! To be fair, they were going after you first, so this could’ve been you.” Lottie shot back, “No, but seriously though, we will talk. About it. All of it.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Nat snickered as she got up from the chair to put it back away at the desk it was originally placed by. The blonde looked back at the brunette after feeling a pair of eyes watching her back and to her (not so) surprise, a couple of puppy-brown eyes observed her from where the taller girl was laying. Nat was kind of flustered under her gaze so she cleared her throat to break the heated moment. “Goodnight, Lot.”
The corners of Lottie’s lips turned up, “Goodnight, Nat.”
And just when the blonde turned her back to look for a sleeping bag, the brunette’s raspy voice called her back. “Come lay with me.”
Nat scoffed at that, “You’re injured.” She deadpanned, turning around with her arms crossed. A part of her automatically wanted to say yes , and she scolded herself for it.
“And?”
“I could hurt you in your sleep if I move the wrong way.” The blonde said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“I’m not hearing a no. ” And was that an actual smirk that Nat could see faintly?
“It wasn’t a yes either.” The blonde countered.
And then there it was. Lottie sat up slightly to pull her big ass puppy brown eyes that no one could stand. Those same damn chocolate eyes pulled her in as if they were two strongest black holes amongst millions of galaxies. And then the damn pout, God. The eyes were already enough to convince her but pulling the saddest pout she’d ever seen—Oh, the blonde practically have already dived headfirst off a building for them. Nat couldn’t ever resist them back then, and it seemed to be the same case now when the shorter girl gave in with a “Fine.”
The brunette softly squealed as she immediately made room for the other girl to lay down upon, pure excitement written all across her face. What a dork .
Nat beamed at the brunette’s enthusiasm and sheepishly made her way to sit on the bed first, then carefully lay down on their single pillow, eyes facing Lottie, skimming across the once familiar, delicate features. Her face was caked with dirt from the brawl earlier, but under them, her attributes were seemingly soft as ever. Lottie pulled the blanket upon both of them. The warmth that rushed through her was almost overwhelming. But Nat didn’t fight it, she welcomed it. She hadn’t felt something even remotely to this in years. Not ever since the other girl moved away.
“I’ve missed this,” She whispered, before realizing it.
Lottie’s smile never went away between the moments, but a soft chuckle escaped between the lips which made Nat look at them for a second before catching herself.
“I’ve missed you. ” The taller girl whispered back.
Nat didn’t notice the exact moment her eyes shut as slumber had taken over because it almost felt as if she hadn’t ever woken up in the first place. She couldn’t believe she somehow found her best friend again, at the worst timing she might add. When she was on the brink of death.
The brunette followed soon after, in hopes that it wasn’t all a dream when she would wake up the next day. Because, God, would that suck.
Later that night, the two girls fell into a deep slumber with arms unknowingly drifting around each other’s waists as the night closed in.