Chapter Text
Fist clenched, Harry stared at his blood stained hand. He tensed for a brief moment before letting out a shaky exhale and dropped the blade. He almost expected to feel a spark of something, hope, joy, anything from his decision.
There we go, I’m so proud of you. I know that wasn't an easy choice and it's going to take a while to handle going without it but you finally took a step to take care of yourself. Continuing down that path wouldn't have helped for much longer even with my help.
You would have still stayed with me even if I.. you know, continued? Harry murmured in disbelief. Feeling oddly naked, Harry curled his knees back up, arms wrapped around them and rested his head.
The answer was quick and so confident. Of course, I would have. I told you i’d help you and im a man of my word. Plus the one thing I do not tolerate is magical children in need or getting hurt by adults.
That made Harry feel a lot better about his decision. Thank you he gave a small smile into his arms, lips cracking painfully from the lack of water in days.
----(Where the story changes)------
Yes well, no matter.
Harry noticed the voice sounded a little strained and hesitant at that. He wondered why.
He decided that now was an okay time to ask what he had been wondering from the very beginning. Umm not to be rude or anything but who exactly are you? How are you in my head? I can't imagine someone voluntarily choosing to be there. You mentioned legi… lige- something earlier, what is that?
It's pronounced legilimency and its an ancient type of mind magic. Legilimency is the magic of entering one's mind. You are able to watch, and manipulate if you are that advanced, the person's memories and hear their thoughts. Occlumency is the opposite of this, shielding one's mind from legilimency attacks. It also helps keep your emotions in control, keeping them behind a shield to help you think rationally. This right here between us is a form of legilimency. Normally a legilimens would need to have eye contact with the person to enter a mind but there are other ways of of being able to connect our minds like this.
Widening his eyes in surprise, Harry takes in all the new information. That sounds like pretty complex magic. Dangerous but wonderful too. Do we get to learn that in Hogwarts? If we do then no wonder I don't know about it, 7th year probably.
It is very complex magic, one of the top 3 most complex magics there are in existence. The other two being blood and soul magic. Unfortunately, it is a dying branch of magic, there are less than 10 master occlumens and legilimens left in the world and they've been around for decades already. It's still being kept alive by pureblood families who teach it to their children but just barely. No Harry, you won't be able to learn it at Hogwarts, the ministry banned any teaching of it years ago. Plus I believe Dumbledore removed the class as soon as he became headmaster.
First of all that's just stupid, it sounds like wonderful magic to learn. Secondly, if it's banned from being taught then why did you seem mad that I didn't know it? Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows.
Because we are in a war, a war where all magic is being used to fight. I would have thought that each side would train their people or at least teach them how to defend themselves against all types of magic. Considering you are the… main attack front, Harry winced, you more than anyone should have been taught this already.
That… that makes a lot of sense actually. I did wonder that myself too when I was told to fight in a war but got absolutely no extra help or training. If this is legilimency though, does that mean you are one of the master legilimens left? Harry tried not to think more about everyone's betrayal.
I am indeed a master occlumens and legilimens. The man sounded way smug for Harry’s liking but he had no qualms about it. The man had every right to sound so smug when he mastered one of the most complex magics there are.
So then why are you in my head? Didn't you say you needed eye contact… oh wait you also said there are other ways.
There was a few moments of tense silence before the voice answered.
I'm in your head because you pulled me in here. I felt a very insistent tug in my mindscape and followed it right into yours. I assume you were subconsciously crying out for help.
It wasn't necessarily that Harry didn't believe him, because he did but he knew the man was avoiding something. He’s spent enough time with Slytherins and being raised in an abusive environment to catch onto things unsaid and hidden. Does this have to do with that bond thing you mentioned? You’re purposely avoiding the topic and your name for some reason arent you? He couldn't help but get a little mad. More people keeping things from him dammit!
The voice let out a sigh as if he knew this would come up. I was avoiding the topic in hopes of you forgetting about but it seems that's not the case. It has nothing to do with you or me purposely hiding it.
Then what is it? Surely it can't be that bad, you obviously know who I am.
We do have a bond I'll admit. I was unaware of it until now. The man strained on the last sentence as if it pained him to admit not knowing something. I knew who you were not long after I entered your mind.
Okay and? So we have a bond, why are you making it sound like its some bad thing? Harry was getting both impatient and nervous for the shoe to drop. Surprisingly, he could feel foreign emotions from what he assumes belongs to the voice. Hesitence and worry.
You wont be happy when I tell you. You’ll hate me and while I completely agree you have a right to, I don't want you to think I was manipulating or toying with you. I don't want you to relapse and get worse because of me. I was honest when I said I was going to help you, believe me in that. I will even swear a magical vow that I will never intentionally harm you.
The tiniest bit of worry wormed its way into Harry. Biting his lip he concentrated on the man's words. He’s noticed the voice made a few comments that hinted at his allegiance and how he was unaware of some stuff up until now. Assuming that learning who he was and what was actually happening to him, both at home and in the wizarding world must have changed his pre existing view of Harry. Most likely a bad one he thought to himself.
It's not like he gave two shits about the war anyways. Plus, considering the genuine sincerity, he was feeling from the man, he really didn't care who the man is or what he’s done to him in the past. Not like there's anyone who hasn't already hurt me in some way or another he snorted.
Alright, lets hear it.
As I said we do have a bond but we’ve had one for years already. Ever since the first time we met… The voice left it at that, waiting for the boy to figure it out so he doesn’t have to say it.
Raising his head to let it rest on the bed behind him, Harry thought about it. A bond since we’ve met huh?
The only sort of bond he has with someone i- He sucked in a breath Oh fuck you’re Voldemort.
I am was his calm reply.
Harry looked pensive at that. And you were honest when you said you would help me? Mental health issues included? That other people would be willing to help too?
I was. I would take you under my care and provide housing, food and education.
In a wobbly voice Harry asked something he’s wanted ever since he was 11.
Does that mean I don't have to fight in the war anymore? I can back out?
No Harry, you don't have to fight anymore. Nor are you alone any longer The voice promised.
Harry’s face broke out on the most radiant smile as tears welled up in his eyes.